Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Linda Campbell said:Just wanted to check in with you guys. Everything seems okay right now, even though deep down I know it might never truly be. I can't even describe the sheer agony and the constant pressure I've been under—unless you've lived through it yourself. And I honestly wonder, how much longer can I keep this up? How am I supposed to find the strength to drop my kid off at preschool tomorrow, show up for work, or even just whip up a meal? On top of everything, I’ve been dealing with some gynecological issues lately and just started antibiotics today. Honestly, I feel like I'm heading straight for the psych ward. This is the struggle, people. It's a brutal disease, it's life. I'm just sitting here, crying over my life, writing to you because you actually get it. Sending love.

There was a time when life really hit me hard too—illness, a breakup, raising two little kids alone... back then, a family friend told me something that stuck. He was desperate for my kids to have stability, so he said, "It's hard—it's incredibly hard. No one can blame you if you just walk away from it all. Everyone would understand if you lost it and ended up in a mental health facility like Vrapč." He basically left it up to me: either stay quiet, wait for better days, and hope things improve, or lose your mind and go to the psych ward—where you won't be any help to anyone, including yourself.

But I made my choice. I decided to sleep and just wait for the day when I could actually enjoy living again. I tackled my problems one by one. It wasn't easy. Fast forward ten years, and I'm actually proud of myself. I'm happy because I didn't let my loved ones down by giving up on life. Those old struggles? I've mostly forgotten them. Now, I just enjoy my home and being outdoors. It was worth it. Even the haters in my circle have to admit I'm a strong, successful person now. If I could buy happiness, hope, resilience, and faith in a better tomorrow at the grocery store, I'd buy it by the pound and send it to you via Uber. Hang in there. 😘

Honey, keep your head held high—as high as you possibly can—and don't bother looking down at those lesser beings unless it's to show them mercy. You are a massive soul, truly; you’re actually so much bigger than they are that your sheer scale and their own petty envy just blind them. No one and nothing can strip away your love for your mother or her love for you. Nobody can take away that sacred, blissful peace in your soul and heart, or that feeling of genuine, true blessing from God—a blessing earned only by carrying the heavy cross that you, through God's providence, bear all the way to the end. You did this for YOUR mother and for YOURSELF, and just like your mom said—blessed is the womb that carried your husband. Honestly, is there any family more fortunate or more blessed than yours in your entire extended tree? Take a second to step back and look at the actual lives those people who hurt you are living; once you see it, you'll realize where all that bitterness comes from, and you'll start to sincerely pity them from the bottom of your heart. You are a strong, honest, proud, brave, and decent woman with an equally wonderful husband and beautiful, healthy children. Can anyone really ask for anything more than that? God will reward you while you're still on this earth, and when your time eventually comes, your mother will come for you and carry you on her wings straight to the gates of Paradise. You have a powerful advocate watching over you in heaven for your whole life! Remember that, and hold it in your heart and mind forever.
You haven't lost your brothers; they are the ones who stand to lose you. If any part of your mother's influence and upbringing remains in them, they'll realize very quickly that you are someone worth holding onto in their lives. If they choose otherwise, then unfortunately, there's nothing you can do; may God grant them health and happiness. You remain pure and untarnished, just like your sacrifice. You don't owe anyone a single thing.
I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that God blesses your suffering by bringing a new life into the world soon to grace your happy family.
BE PROUD😘
Love, Jane

Linda Campbell said:Just checking in to let you all know that I have made it through, even though it feels like things will never truly settle down... The sheer intensity of the pressure and the constant tribulations I’ve endured are impossible to convey to anyone who hasn't walked that same path themselves. Yet, here I am, finding my footing and pushing forward. Sadly, I am navigating this without my mother by my side, feeling quite alone in the struggle, though I am grateful to have my husband and child standing right behind me, thank God...
Between managing my career, supporting my family, and enduring the crushing weight of such a devastating illness and its grueling treatment, I have been pushed to the absolute brink... To make matters even more unbearable, I had to contend with the relentless pressure from my sister-in-law, who saw fit to complicate an already impossible situation, making every single moment—even those final, precious hours spent with my mother—infinitely harder than they already were... It leaves me wondering, God, are You truly watching all of this?...
The day after the funeral, my sister-in-law effectively kicked me out of her house... It all stemmed from some heated argument regarding my supposed "behavior" leading up to the service. Apparently, because I reached a breaking point and spoke my mind to someone who didn't want to hear it, I became the villain in her narrative. A complete spectacle ensued. In reality, none of my actions or words were ever truly questionable; my husband and I gave everything we had—far beyond what we could actually afford—to honor my mother... Her own sons certainly didn't step up, and her daughters-in-law were even further from the mark...
And so here I am... acting as both sister and sister-in-law to people who, after everything they have put me through, will never truly understand what it means to endure—they simply lack the fortitude to live through three lifetimes of struggle, let alone one... and yet, I am left being scapegoated by everyone like some sort of afterthought, having lost my mother and feeling the distance growing between myself and both of my brothers. It makes me wonder how much further this can go... How much more strength am I expected to summon just to perform the most basic tasks, like dropping a child off at preschool tomorrow, showing up to work, or even managing to cook a simple meal... On top of all this, I’ve been dealing with my own gynecological issues over the last few months, and today I finally started a course of antibiotics... At this rate, I suspect I might end up in a psychiatric ward instead... This is what a true struggle looks like; this is what a heavy illness feels like; this is life... I am sitting here, weeping alone over the state of my existence, reaching out to you all because I know you are the only ones who truly understand... Sending my love to you all...

Linda Campbell... your sheer strength and resolve serve as proof that one must remain a fighter regardless of the circumstances, even in an exceptionally grueling situation like this one. Those who have never experienced that extraordinary surge of power found only within a warrior simply cannot grasp what it entails. They cannot truly comprehend how difficult it is to maintain one's composure while carrying the weight of it all...

As my father used to say—it seems nobody truly grasps that my mother’s illness is far more profound than a mere case of strep throat... Unfortunately...

There aren't any words in existence that can truly soothe your grief or fill the void left by such a loss... However, I would urge you to look toward those closest to you—your husband and your child, who both rely on you so deeply. You must reclaim the strength you possessed just a few days ago, if only for their sake and your own. While you haven't lost your brothers, their actions and their words have undoubtedly left a wound... I suspect that during your recent struggle, you realized just how simple and absurd life can be, and that one must simply press forward with courage, holding one's head high. Eventually, you will find it in yourself to forgive them, and they will surely come to realize the error of their ways...

You simply must continue to be one of our fighters...😘

I am currently thousands of miles away from my mother... It is profoundly difficult to learn about her life only through telephone calls, knowing that even when something goes wrong, my father won't bother to notify me. If it hadn't been for that professor who withheld my signatures on the fax, I wouldn't be sitting here in Washington, D.C., realizing just how much she is struggling... Because of his lack of understanding and the unnecessary complications he caused, I find I can only offer him forgiveness, for I have finally realized how vital it is to fight for oneself and one's own kin...

I find myself admiring the sheer resilience displayed by all of you, especially considering the immense weight of the burdens you carry on a daily basis...

The struggle continues, I suppose...

Linda Campbell, just keep pushing forward! Can’t you see how incredibly resilient you are? You have this amazing ability to draw strength from everything you've endured up until now. There truly isn't anything you can't overcome. Honestly, through everything you've done, you've proven to yourself—and to everyone else watching—just how much grit you really have, so there is absolutely no giving up now... Better days are definitely on the horizon!!! 😘

Linda Campbell said:It is incredibly difficult to witness a parent—a father—who was once an authority figure, facing such a grueling illness. You remember him as this pillar of strength, a protector, a role model, and more; then you hit this stage of life where you unfortunately have to watch that parent and act toward them as if they were a helpless, sick child. The roles are reversed. You are observing him through so many different dimensions of life now. It is profoundly hard. Some people are mature enough for this and know how to carry themselves; some are just swept up in the moment and endure it somehow; others actually reach maturity during these exact moments.
You are stepping into his role now. You have to be strong for him, and you have to stay strong until the very end, but also for your mother. Regardless, let it all out as much as you can. Fight until the final second, just as I am doing myself—literally until my last breath. Because as long as he is still here, there is always something new to try. Hang in there.

Thank you all for the support. It is hard, believe me, but I am fighting. Actually, it is he who gives me strength, because even he refuses to surrender. I cannot even begin to describe his willpower and grit. He is on heavy doses of Durogesik, yet he still insists on going outside; he can barely manage in that wheelchair, but he simply will not give up. On the contrary, he constantly talks about how he needs to exercise more because he has weakened slightly. If you could see him—yellowish-pale, eyelids half-closed—and yet, he fights. How could I not?!
And when I see you fighters, especially you, Linda Campbell... that is a level of strength reserved only for the chosen ones. Someone once told me that God never gives anyone more than they can handle. Don't pay any mind to my brothers or my mother-in-law; I suppose men are just built differently than us. (No offense intended to anyone). My older brother lives only about five blocks away from my parents, yet he won't show up for days, let alone weeks, to check on my father and mother—not to mention whenever something actually needs to be done... Meanwhile, I am the one coming from the other side of town, working shifts, and going to them every single day. Every single day. Whenever they need to be driven somewhere, I am there. And it isn't even a burden... quite the opposite... if I don't go to them, I just feel this restlessness. As for my mother-in-law, she never visits because my parents have a dog, and it bothers her immensely. I could go on about that for days, but why bother? I am completely at peace and fulfilled because I know I am doing everything within my power, and I won't have any regrets one day. Just like you, you have every right to total peace because of who you are and what you are worth. Unlike certain others.
Sending hugs to you all. And thank you for making me realize there are still wonderful people left in this world. Kisses.

I want to extend my deepest gratitude to all of you for the empathy you have shown me. You stood by me through illness, through death, and even in the aftermath—that hollow period when a person feels at their most vulnerable and utterly helpless. I should let you know that today, I found myself revisiting your posts of support and encouragement multiple times; I have actually printed them all out to carry in my bag, so that when things feel unbearable, I can read them. They are with me. In engaging with this forum, I always knew I would find something to offer help or solace. While what I am experiencing now might seem misplaced given the timing, please believe that is certainly a part of this unfortunate sub-forum, "Support for Families of the Ill..." By sharing my own experience, I simply wanted to illustrate—or perhaps prepare—some of you for the reality that such struggles can arise both during and after life's most harrowing cycles. I owe a special debt of thanks to Angela Wright, who was the catalyst for this entire community, allowing me to have a place to turn IMMEDIATELY and share this heavy grief and anxiety with most of you. I also want to thank my fellow member NUSAZVRK, who quite literally pulled me back from the brink and encouraged me until the very last second when we were all facing the inevitable end. Ladies, I don't know you personally, and it doesn't matter what you look like; what matters is that when I was in despair, you were there. Thank you, everyone. More to follow...

"....There is always a 'tomorrow,' and life constantly presents us with opportunities to do something meaningful. But today? Today is all we truly possess. I want to tell you that I love you. No one is promised a tomorrow—not the young, and certainly not the old. You might be looking at the people you cherish for the very last time right now. So please, don't hesitate. Act today. Because if it turns out you don't make it to tomorrow, you will spend eternity regretting the day YOU RAN OUT OF TIME to offer a single smile, a single kiss, or to simply be present instead of being too busy to share your final thoughts with them."

I truly believe, my friends, that we have all performed many good deeds here and acted with great resolve. It is nothing but a struggle. There are just so many who have succeeded.

Perhaps I am being a bit morbid, but excuse me...

I have a question... Is it actually possible for doctors to look at every single test result and still fail to realize someone is dealing with cancer...?
They’ve already thrown out all these different diagnoses at me, but none of them are... it's just not it...

EDIT: Sorry if I totally missed the mark on the topic here...

I’ve been lurking here for quite a while now, and honestly, it’s good to see this community exists. You guys have helped me navigate so many small, practical hurdles just by sharing what you've been through. But I’m stuck on one thing—has anyone found anything actually effective for treating these miserable veins? After all the IV fluids, antibiotics, and chemo, my hands look like a damn fountain; the veins are stiff and you can feel these little lumps under the skin. Has anyone dealt with this or found something that works?

I used to apply Hepatrombin gel to my grandfather's veins and the swelling that would develop around them, mainly because the cooling sensation on the skin felt so soothing. Of course, I was careful never to put it on any open scabs, focusing strictly on the swollen areas. It’s essentially the kind of gel you see athletes reaching for constantly to manage minor injuries, and honestly, it worked wonders for him.
I actually decided to try this on my own initiative, and I remember one time a nurse at the Mayo Clinic caught me applying it; she just smiled and told me it was a really smart way to handle it. 👍

Sophia Richardson62 said:I have a question... Is it actually possible for doctors to miss cancer entirely based on all the test results?
They’ve already diagnosed me with several other things, just nothing like this...

EDIT: Sorry if I'm off-topic here.

It's absolutely possible, especially with certain types of lymphoma.
A close friend of mine was treated for a throat infection for five whole months before they realized she actually had Hodgkin's. They knew something wasn't right, but they just couldn't pin it down as cancer.

Carol Ramirez said:I used to rub Hepatrombin on my grandfather's veins and the swelling around them because the gel has this cooling effect on the skin. Of course, I never put it on any scabs—just the swollen areas. It’s basically the kind of gel you see athletes using all the time for injuries. And honestly, it worked wonders.
I just decided to try it on my own, and one time a nurse at the hospital actually caught me applying it and told me it was a brilliant idea. 👍

I did the exact same thing for my mom with her veins, though looking back now, seeing how much people obsess over these various Heparins, Hepans, Hepalpans, and Hepatrombins, it feels like everyone is just selling snake oil.🙄
It left me feeling pretty lost.

Sophia Richardson62 said:I have a question... Is it actually possible for doctors to overlook cancer entirely through standard diagnostic tests...?
They've already diagnosed her with several other conditions, just nothing like this...

EDIT: Apologies if I've wandered off-topic

It is certainly possible. My mother spent a month and a half having fluid drained before they finally identified cellular malformations that suggested the possibility of cancer...

Angela Wright said:My mother used to apply those same creams to my veins, though looking at this thread about all these various Heparins, Hepans, Hepalpans, and Hepatromins, it seems we might just be paying for expensive placebo effects...🙄
I find myself somewhat perplexed...

Not long ago, I bumped my arm and the swelling was quite significant; my mother offered me some of her Hepatrombin, which actually helped reduce the inflammation. I recently picked up some Heparin myself, and as far as my own experience goes, it seems to work effectively. My mother applies those vein creams on a regular basis, though I highly doubt they provide any real benefit to her... if they did, she wouldn't still be using them.

Linda Campbell said:"...

Maybe I'm just feeling a bit down, but sorry...

After you mentioned ending up in a psych ward, this one feels way better. Just keep thinking about your loved ones who want to be there for you—and all of us chatting with you here. If you focus on them, you'll make the right calls and seek out the kind of thoughts that actually nourish your soul. 👍

We have to try our best (even if we aren't God), so when things feel totally out of our control, the only thing left to do is stay calm. That's how we help the people we can. We're all connected—when one family member struggles, it hits everyone. Just hold onto your peace! Have a good one!

Angela Wright said:It can happen, especially with certain types of lymphoma.
A friend of mine was treated for a throat infection for five whole months when she actually had Hodgkin’s. They sensed something was off, but they just couldn't pin down that it was cancer...

But they were treating him for a kidney infection instead... only to realize on the very last day... once it was far too late... that the cancer had spread everywhere...
And these are the doctors we have today...

Hey everyone. First off, huge shoutout to 😘 Angela Wright for starting this thread. It’s probably helped a ton of people (well, at least it helped me). This is actually my first time posting here, even though I've been lurking for a while. Not sure why I didn't write sooner... just felt weirdly intimidated by it all🤣 ...anyway. Let me share a bit of what our family is going through. My dad was diagnosed with cancer back in March, and it's bad: metastases in his chest, liver, and some lymph nodes, but they still haven't found the primary tumor. He started chemo and radiation, but after four months of that, nothing worked—if anything, things just got worse. By month eight, he wasn't on any treatment, and then early in month nine, his labs came back looking horrific. His liver is basically failing, and the cancer in his chest has spread inward. The liver stuff is the worst part because the pain is constant; he can't eat or drink anything. He ended up in the hospital last night, and apparently, there might be brain metastases too (though looking at his symptoms, I wouldn't rule out a heart attack). The doctors are stuck because surgery isn't an option and the chemo was a total bust. We even tried those medicinal mushroom supplements from Myco-Sana, but even those just upset his stomach. I'm just left feeling totally stunned by how fast this disease moved, how quickly it escalated and just... wiped him out. 🤣 And I honestly don't get how it's even possible to miss the primary site entirely🤣 I know the clock is ticking and we're out of alternative options now. Just sending him all the good vibes I've got.

Drew Nguyen47 said:... I know how fast time flies and now there aren't any other options left. Sending all my good vibes his way.

I dealt with cancer myself once, though nothing nearly as intense as what you’re describing here. I did a year and a half of injections alongside standard medical treatment and I'm doing fine now. I got my Iscador through a private clinic:

DR. SENIA GRČIĆ, MD, HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN, GENERAL MEDICINE, Washington, D.C., 4 Barun Trenka St (01) 4922 471

It boosts immunity and helps you feel better overall... honestly, it might be worth at least having a conversation about it. Besides, I actually know someone who managed to clear her own brain metastases—the doctors over at the Mayo Clinic were absolutely floored by it.

Let's stay positive, and with God's help, let's hope for the best! Best, 🧐

honestly, I really believe in these kinds of recoveries. People can achieve so much when they actually tap into that inner strength👍. We actually picked up those Myko Sana mushrooms because we heard from a friend that their neighbor totally pulled through using them. But my dad... he’s just being so negative all the time. He seems convinced that only external stuff—meds, doctors, whatever—can save him, and he just can't find the willpower within himself. Sadly, he’s lived his whole life being pretty "rigid," never really caring about his mental or spiritual side, so processing all this now is hitting him hard. I’m trying to shower him with love and positive vibes, constantly fighting his fear of feeling weak and sick. I even wanted to get him into some support groups—since he’s getting treated in Germany because he worked there, I figured they might have better resources for that kind of thing—so he could maybe meet people two or three times a month who are going through the exact same thing. Just to help him realize he isn't the only one whose life has gone to hell. But honestly, it’s just overwhelming me. I have another recipe for an alternative cancer treatment we’re going to try too (I'll scan it and post it here on the forum, maybe it helps someone else). I know the facts, I really do, but the end doesn't come until God says it's over... until then, we keep playing the game 😁

Drew Nguyen47 said:to be perfectly honest, I truly believe in such recoveries and maintain that a person can achieve a great deal, provided they possess the necessary inner fortitude👍. we actually picked up those Myko Sana mushrooms because we heard from an acquaintance that their neighbor found relief using those supplements. however, my father remains somewhat pessimistic throughout this entire process; he seems convinced that only external interventions—medications, doctors, and the like—can assist him, and he struggles to tap into his own internal strength. unfortunately, he has lived quite a rigid, "square" life, never paying much attention to his inner self, so all of this is proving exceptionally difficult for him now. I try my best to surround him with love and positive energy, attempting to dismantle his fear regarding the reality of being weak and ill. I had hoped to involve him in some support groups (he is receiving treatment in Germany since he worked there previously, so I was hopeful they might have such circles available) so he could meet with people facing similar struggles two or three times a month... perhaps then he could emerge from that cloud of dark thoughts and stop feeling as though he is the only one whose life has gone completely sideways. but somehow, it has all become a bit overwhelming for me. I have yet another recipe for an alternative cancer remedy that we intend to try (I will scan it and post it here on the forum, as it may benefit someone else). I am fully aware of the objective facts, but the end only comes when God says it is time, and until then, we continue to play the hand we are dealt😁

I have written very little on this forum thus far; I mostly just follow your updates—because it is truly incredible how much you all empower me to remain resilient, both regarding my mother's situation and my own personal struggles.

My professor at the university continues to subject me to this relentless torture, seemingly oblivious to the fact that during these last four or five months of our battle with my mother's cancer, amidst significant psychological and social stressors, he has managed to add fuel to the fire...

Tonight, I finally broke down, and for the first time in a very long while, I wept over the phone to my mother. I am not certain if it was due to that foolish professor making my life miserable, or the fear that she might leave us without saying goodbye (186 miles separates my mother and me). I witnessed a person who is genuinely fragile due to her health, and weary from everything she must endure daily as her body is exhausted, being ready to say: "It is only my own will to win that keeps me going; I refuse to dwell on how things began wrongly. I could cry and ask why this is happening to me, but I feel I cannot waste energy that I simply do not have. Since the day of my surgery, I have had access to psychologists and psychiatrists, but I declined them. I found the answer and the decision within myself to fight. I could have refused that too, and sadly, I might not be here today..."

That is why I understand what you mean about having to provide one's own internal energy... stay strong and demonstrate your own will to fight to him, and I truly hope he listens to you! kisses