Conan the Barbarian (1982)

It’s honestly a crime there isn't a dedicated thread for this on the forums, especially since PBS is actually starting to air some decent movies lately.

For anyone catching this later, here’s a total gem—a documentary about how they filmed the movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PRHbohN_yw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc

Conan, man, what is even worth living for anymore??

Seriously though, movies like this are pure gold. They just don't make 'em like they used to.

I honestly start cracking up every single time that speech comes on.😂

So, there’s this theory floating around that since Conan trains with weapons that look a lot like katanas, it’s actually proof he’s living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland rather than some ancient past.
Then you’ve got people claiming that because the text mentions things happening "before the sons of Arias," we're looking at some pre-Indo-European era where Conan is basically a Basque warrior. 🙂

Look, I get it, it’s definitely Fantasy. But the author was pretty adamant about the connection—if you’ve actually sat down with the books, there’s a map included that represents our own world, just slightly different. 🙂

Peter Reed70 said:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc

Conan, man, what is even worth living for anymore??

Seriously though, movies like this are pure gold. They just don't make 'em like they used to.

This scene right here is top tier (better than the rest, honestly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_et1rgL3e5s

Man, this scene absolutely wrecked me when I was a kid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkbOvOYKJAE

This is easily one of my favorite Fantasy flicks ever.

Absolute perfection—this movie taught me everything I need to know about life.😁
There’s no "maybe" or "sort of" here. It's Old School.
Discipline of steel!

Every man should have experienced this film in his youth; it is an epic saga detailing the tragedies one can endure while ultimately emerging victorious. Beyond the spectacle, it is a profound piece of cinema disguised by magic and mysticism, infused with a Nietzschean philosophy that permeates every frame, every line of dialogue, and every note of the now-iconic Howard soundtrack.

It is the kind of film one could watch once a year for a lifetime and find something new every single time. A true masterpiece, and perhaps the greatest Fantasy film ever made.

Schwarzenegger actually looks like Conan the Barbarian, unlike Momoe who looks like some coke-addled junkie.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... watch your mouth. You've got a die-hard Momoe fan watching you right here—you better be careful before you get caught 🙂

Everything about this flick is absolute perfection, seriously, just everything. It’s easily one of my all-time favorites.

Lisa Ross14 said:Whoa, whoa, whoa... watch your mouth. You've got a die-hard Momoe fan watching you right here—you better be careful before you get caught 🙂

Maybe a handful of women and a few kids, at most.

Michael Morgan5 said:Schwarzenegger actually looks like Conan the Barbarian, unlike Momoe who looks like some coke-addled junkie.

Don't even bring that name up in this thread! 🙂

Just kidding, but honestly, I'm glad that total garbage—which was totally unworthy of Conan the Barbarian—flopped at the box office.

Anyway, this pretty much defines me now;
"Crom, i have never prayed to you before – i have no tongue for IT. Nobody, not even you, is going to care if we were saints or sinners. It doesn't matter why we picked up a blade or why we kicked the bucket. All that counts is that two of us stood our ground against the crowd. That's what's important "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zDM8XakVpU

I don't have anything else to contribute; everything has already been laid out 🙂

....so we're talking about Momoa and a remake....and honestly, how can anyone with a name like that even be considered to play Conan 😁

Things aren't always what they seem...
Conan 82 is a radical departure from the core philosophy found in Howard’s work. Look, he nailed the aesthetic—the style, the visual vibe, even certain individual segments capture the spirit perfectly—but as a cohesive whole? He completely missed the philosophical mark.
I really ought to sit down and write a proper long-form essay to break this all down properly... maybe when I actually find the time.

Even if we agree that the 2011 Conan flick was absolute bottom-of-the-barrel trash, Momoa actually delivered! Honestly, Momoa is a better Conan than Arnie ever was. Anyone who has actually sat down with Howard’s books or the classic comics knows exactly what I'm talking about.

nimblemarlin6 said:Things aren't always what they seem...
Conan 82 is a radical departure from the core philosophy found in Howard’s work. Look, he nailed the aesthetic—the style, the visual vibe, even certain individual segments capture the spirit perfectly—but as a cohesive whole? He completely missed the philosophical mark.
I really ought to sit down and write a proper long-form essay to break this all down properly... maybe when I actually find the time.

Even if we agree that the 2011 Conan flick was absolute bottom-of-the-barrel trash, Momoa actually delivered! Honestly, Momoa is a better Conan than Arnie ever was. Anyone who has actually sat down with Howard’s books or the classic comics knows exactly what I'm talking about.

I've read both the books and the comics. Anri's version of Conan feels a bit different, but Momoa is just a disaster on screen. It's either not Conan at all, or just some nonsense that has zero connection to the source material.

Give me one single memorable scene from that trash heap, especially anything involving Momoa.
A musical number, the set design, anything?

Richard Wilson4 said:I've read both the books and the comics. Anri's version of Conan feels a bit different, but Momoa is just a disaster on screen. It's either not Conan at all, or just some nonsense that has zero connection to the source material.

Give me one single memorable scene from that trash heap, especially anything involving Momoa.
A musical number, the set design, anything?

Conan 82 is an untouchable masterpiece...
I'm not trying to compare the movies directly—because comparing those two is basically impossible—but I am talking about the acting and the actual presence of whoever is playing Conan.
Arnie is fantastic in the '82 Conan, but let's be real: that version isn't Howard's vision, it's more like Milius's Conan.
As for the 2011 Conan, there isn't a single redeeming quality or good scene to be found. Except—maybe—for Momoe as Conan!
He's missing maybe 10 or 15 pounds of pure muscle, but he actually got closer to the character as he's described in the Howard stories and the comic adaptations than Arnie ever did.

nimblemarlin6 said:Conan 82 is an untouchable masterpiece...
I'm not trying to compare the movies directly—because comparing those two is basically impossible—but I am talking about the acting and the actual presence of whoever is playing Conan.
Arnie is fantastic in the '82 Conan, but let's be real: that version isn't Howard's vision, it's more like Milius's Conan.
As for the 2011 Conan, there isn't a single redeeming quality or good scene to be found. Except—maybe—for Momoe as Conan!
He's missing maybe 10 or 15 pounds of pure muscle, but he actually got closer to the character as he's described in the Howard stories and the comic adaptations than Arnie ever did.

I don't know, man. Maybe we watched different movies, because to me, Momoa felt totally bland. There weren't any memorable lines or anything like that.