Dirty hands...

This topic kind of hits two different spots at once... psychology and health.

I’m leaning toward psychology because I feel like it might be tied to some weird mental hang-ups, but then there's the health side since, honestly, I might just be overthinking things...

Does anyone else get totally grossed out by shaking hands (like when you're meeting someone new and all) with people who are—well, let's face it—mostly strangers?
Do you find yourself spiraling about how clean their hands actually are? Like, wondering where they've been or what they were doing right before they forced you into this awkward situation where you absolutely have to shake their hand?
😕

Other people's hands aren't any dirtier than a subway handrail, a hallway doorknob, a shopping cart handle at Target, or even a pen you grab at a Chase branch...
But if I make sure to wash them the second I walk through my front door—or, you know, whenever I hit a restroom—well, then...

Karen Hayes50 said:This topic really hits two different areas... psychology and health.

I think it's psychological because it feels like some kind of mental glitch, but then there's the health aspect since—well, maybe I'm wrong about that part...

Does anyone else get totally grossed out by shaking hands (like when you're meeting someone new and all) with people who are basically strangers?
Do you find yourself worrying about how clean their hands actually are? Like, wondering where they've been or what they were doing right before they forced you into a handshake?
😕

Honestly, it just depends on why they're dirty!
If it's from work—say, if they're an Automechanic—then that's just life, and you can't really blame them for that.
But if they're just unhygienic, with black fingernails and sticky skin because they haven't washed up in days? Then yeah, absolutely.
If I absolutely have to shake hands with someone like that, I'll be looking for any excuse to go wash my hands immediately. Honestly, though, I usually avoid those types altogether—I don't really run in those circles.

For me, it's way more important that my partner has clean, well-kept hands!

And no matter where I go or what I'm doing, the first thing I do when I walk through my front door is wash my hands.
It's a habit before every meal, too. Even when I'm out at a restaurant—after I order my pizza, I'll head to the restroom to scrub up, and if it looks clean enough, then I'll sit back down to eat.😉

That's just how I was raised, and it stuck with me.

Is this strictly about handling objects, or does it involve touching other public surfaces as well? (Mysophobia)
Is there anything else involved beyond what you’ve described—excessive handwashing, constant showering, or obsessive cleaning? (OCD)

And yes, if someone is battling depression, isn't it entirely possible for anxiety to tag along as well?

Honestly, it’s everything from gripping those metal handrails on the subway to using any public restroom that isn't my own at home—just touching random surfaces or anything else, plus there are so many other people out there doing the exact same thing 🙂
dealing with depression and anxiety (or just stuff like that, even if it hasn't been officially diagnosed yet 🙂 ) without having OCD

cuca said:It really all depends on what kind of dirty we're talking about here!
If they're just dirty from work—like, say, if someone works as a Mechanic—then honestly, it’s totally unavoidable and there’s nothing the person can even do about it.
But if their hands are gross, like with black fingernails and everything feeling sticky because they haven't bothered to wash up in two days? Then yeah, absolutely!
If I have to deal with someone whose dirt is unavoidable, I’m definitely going to be looking for any excuse to wash my own hands immediately. Honestly, I haven't actually run into anyone like that yet, but I don't know those types of people and I am certainly not shaking hands with them.

Oh, I don't mean *that* kind of dirty... just regular, everyday, average person hands... like yours, mine, his, everyone's... I'm not talking about someone who just finished digging through mud and needs a scrub, that's common sense. Basic etiquette says you shouldn't shake hands with someone in that state, end of story.
What I mean is just those normal, everyday situations, you know? Like meeting someone for the first time, or greeting an old friend you haven't seen in ages, where people generally just have more or less clean hands. I think it's fair to assume that if you bump into someone on the street, their hands aren't exactly pristine like they just stepped out of a spa. I mean, who knows where they've been or what they've been doing—riding the subway, tying their sneakers, handling cash and stuff like that.

Taylor Swift said:Is it just about handling things, or does it include touching other public surfaces too? (Mysophobia)
Are there any other ritualistic behaviors involved besides what you mentioned—like excessive hand washing, showering, or cleaning? (OCD

🤔hm, well, I never actually touch train station doors with my hands—I always use my foot, my elbow, or I'll just wait for someone else to open it for me; growing up, I was basically taught not to touch those station doors because of all the germs and sickness and stuff, since so many different people are grabbing them... so yeah, that's why I wash my hands like crazy when I get home or before I eat. As for other things, I don't really have an issue with bathrooms (I don't sit on the seats) or trash cans or anything like that...
and I've raised my kids the same way. Honestly, I don't think it's being "excessive," just being careful... or am I wrong?

Elon Musk said:not even that dirty... just regular, everyday hands... mine, yours, his, everyone's... I don't mean like if someone had been digging in the mud all day and needed a wash--that's just common sense, and there's zero debate about avoiding handshakes with people who are actually filthy..
I’m talking about those normal, everyday moments—like meeting someone for the first time, or seeing an old friend you haven't bumped into in forever, where people's hands are usually more or less just... fine. I mean, let's be real, if you run into someone on the street, their hands aren't exactly freshly scrubbed. Who knows where they've been? They could've been riding the subway, tying their sneakers, handling cash, stuff like that.

And honestly, no, that doesn't bother me at all, I don't really give it a second thought...

Plus, I know this one guy who is super diligent about washing his hands both before and after using the restroom.

Karen Hayes50 said:Whether it’s gripping those subway railings, using any restroom other than my own, or touching random objects—not to mention how many other people do the exact same thing 🙂
relating to depression and anxiety (or something similar, even if it hasn't been officially diagnosed yet 🙂 ) without OCD

Regardless, you really ought to see a doctor (a psychiatrist) immediately, who can prescribe appropriate treatment based on your symptoms. Phobias are effectively treated through psychotherapy (specifically cognitive behavioral therapy paired with relaxation techniques), though medication > might occasionally be necessary.

Yeah... honestly, that's pretty much what I was thinking too! 🙂
Thanks so much, everyone!

gentlepanther10 said:Oh, honestly, that doesn't even bother me, I don't even give it a second thought...

Plus, I actually know this one guy who is super obsessive about washing his hands both before and after he hits the restroom.

But hey, being careful isn't even that weird, right?
Like, I could spend my whole day running errands all over town, touching everything under the sun, and then suddenly have to get intimate with a guy—touching some pretty sensitive areas—with hands that aren't exactly spotless!

I feel like it's just way easier for us women, you know? I mean, I don't have to deal with the whole "unwrapping" and maneuvering process myself.
So yeah, I totally get where he's coming from!😁

Karen Hayes50 said:well, it wasn't even that weird before...
like, I could spend all day running errands around Chicago, touching random stuff, and then go home and handle a pretty significant part of a guy's anatomy with those same hands.

I feel like it’s just easier for women... we don't have to deal with the whole "unzip, pull out, and stretch" routine.
so yeah, I've got it covered.😁

yeah, that's definitely part of it 👍

plus, when things get urgent, they usually find it way easier to just grab what they need quickly🙄

gentlepanther10 said:Plus, I know a guy who actually washes his hands both before and after using the restroom.

Good grief, since when did basic hygiene become a scandal? It’s a fundamental rule, especially for men.👍

The only thing that truly gets under my skin is having to deal with people bumping into me on the bus or other little things involving physical contact with a crowd when I have some kind of scratch on my hand or finger; it feels absolutely revolting, especially when I get home and try to unwind with a drink "🙂"

Madeline Mad said:Good grief, what’s even weird about that? It's basically just basic hygiene—especially when it comes to guys👍

I mean, sure, washing your hands after you use the restroom is a given,
but honestly, I’ve only noticed guys washing up before they eat in the last few years, and I think that's totally fine too.

rustymoose54 said:Yeah, sure, everyone knows you gotta wash up *after* hitting the restroom,
but I've only really noticed guys washing their hands *beforehand* for the last few years—and honestly, if that's what they're doing, fine by me.

Hmm. Look, if you're wiping after you pee, are you really gonna use hands that were just grabbing a filthy handrail on the subway? Even if there's paper in between... theoretically... it still feels gross, right?

What I'm trying to say is, women should be washing their hands before they go too.

violent_femmes9 said:hmm. I mean, if you’re wiping after you go, wouldn't you be using hands that just touched a nasty subway pole? Even if there's paper in between, it still feels kind of gross, right?

Basically, I think women should wash their hands before they use the restroom too.

🤔 hmm, I hadn't really thought about it that way—yeah, because of the paper...

And you know some people brush their teeth before and after they eat 😱 🤣

Sorry for going off-topic, but I just couldn't help myself.

Madeline said:Good grief, what’s so strange about that? It's basically one of the fundamental rules of hygiene, especially when it comes to men👍

Yeah, right—and maybe we should all just go into isolation and wash our hair before we pee, just to make sure nothing falls from our heads onto our junk... 🙄
Look, everyone has their own little "hygiene ritual," I suppose—but personally, I stick strictly to the bare minimum of washing my hands after I'm done with self-pleasure...