Do doctors hate patients, or is it the other way around... and why?

It looks like my previous post didn't go through, so I'm reposting it:

Since there's been so much coverage in the news lately—and plenty of debate here on Reddit regarding the doctors' strike, the doctor-patient relationship, and general healthcare systemic issues—I figured I’d weigh in too.😈

I am a surgeon, primarily specializing in plastic and reconstructive surgery.
Here is a specific situation from today; I'd appreciate your thoughts on it.

Today, I was working at the Mayo Clinic outpatient clinic from 8:00 AM to 2:30 PM. During those hours, I saw scheduled patients as well as emergencies. This meant scheduled appointments sometimes had to wait an extra 20 or 30 minutes while I handled urgent cases—mostly hand or facial injuries.
I managed to see all my scheduled patients by the end of my shift.
At 2:30 PM, I stayed in the same rooms to perform diagnostic imaging—specifically breast ultrasounds—exclusively for scheduled patients.
Around 5:00 PM, a young man burst in with his arm wrapped up, claiming he had cut himself. My surgical tech told him, "Sir, you'll need to see the other surgeon on the floor below us; the doctor isn't seeing patients anymore." The patient snapped back, "It's packed down there, and this is an emergency."
The tech explained that the floor below is the ER, where everyone is an emergency case, so he would have to wait his turn.
The patient kicked the nearest chair, started screaming, "You people are useless! You doctors are absolute scum, you all deserve to be shot," and stormed out.
In the process, the women and their companions who were waiting patiently for their ultrasounds retreated into the corner in fear.

So, I'm curious to hear what you think.
Do you think the tech was being rude, or are we actually just "scum"? Do you believe we should have prioritized him over the women who have been waiting weeks for an ultrasound, potentially forcing them to reschedule for June (since our ultrasound hours are strictly 2:30 PM to 6:00 PM)?
To clarify, a cut hand is not a life-threatening emergency or a Level 1 priority; a wound like that can safely be stitched up anytime within 12 hours of the injury.
Or do you think we're just corrupt crooks who would have stitched him up instantly if he had just waved a hundred-dollar bill?

Alright, vox populi—what would you have done? 🙂

When things get serious—whether it’s a major crisis or just something urgent—everything gets funneled straight into the ER or the ICU, which is usually right next door if the situation calls for it.
What we’re really talking about here is the whole triage system at the emergency room; I've seen plenty of times where someone is absolutely losing it from a broken leg, but they’re stuck waiting in line because some guy who just scraped his knuckle showed up first. Honestly, those kinds of scenarios happen all the time in American hospitals.
In this specific case, though, the guy is being a total jerk, because stuff like that needs to go through the actual ER protocols rather than trying to bypass the system.
But, looking at that $100 bill mentioned, I’m pretty sure at least 8 out of 10 doctors would take the cash and knock the whole thing out in maybe two or three minutes. Nobody would ever find out, and they could just tell the people in the waiting room that an emergency popped up and they had to jump on it.

nimbleskipper13 said:Alright, I want to hear from you guys!
Do you think the medical staff was being rude? Are we actually the bad guys here???

Come on, let's hear it—vox populi! What would you have done? 🙂

It's tough to call because tone is everything, but when doctors go on strike, it just gives the aggressive types a chance to act out...

It’s wild seeing how differently my son and I handle things in our situation. When he talks... he sounds so set in his ways, but honestly? It feels like he just treats whatever a doctor says as absolute gospel...

Then there’s the staff... we were sitting there waiting our turn in front of the ER at the hospital... and nobody has any clue how many other people are stuck waiting ahead of us. There was this elderly lady in a wheelchair, too, trying to catch a nurse's eye a few times to ask for help getting to the restroom. But the nurse just tells her she can only get help if she can actually stand up on her own—which, from where we were sitting, looked totally impossible. Not even the nurse seemed to realize it.

They eventually worked something out and headed toward the bathroom. I don't know what happened after that, but my son’s reaction was pretty brutal... He basically said they should all be put on forced labor without pay or something... because seriously, how is it even possible that a hospital doesn't have a way to help someone in a wheelchair use the restroom?

But hey, nobody heard that outburst except for me and my husband. 😁

There would be significantly fewer misunderstandings if medical professionals actually took a moment to realize that most people have absolutely no clue what their specific job entails—specifically regarding triage, what constitutes a true emergency, and more importantly, what can actually afford to wait. Most folks don't grasp how long they might be sitting there for non-urgent issues, nor do they understand that certain cases take precedence. To make matters worse, there seems to be this pervasive delusion that anyone wearing a white coat in the hallway is a surgeon ready to stitch up a wound on sight.

Michelle Patel78 mentioned the magic word—triage.

Personally, I haven’t had any real issues with the doctors themselves...

But those nurses at the front desk😉 — absolutely terrifying!!!! They act like they're some kind of little gods.

They irritate you so much that I’m honestly not surprised when people finally snap once they actually sit down with the physician.

... but your approach was fundamentally flawed. Instead of explaining to that injured guy that his wound can actually be stitched up even 12 hours later—just giving him a bandage and asking him to wait while the ER downstairs handles the life-threatening cases—your staff just recited their business hours and called it a day. Essentially, you and your team knew he wasn't in immediate danger, yet he’s convinced he’s going to die from sepsis in three minutes. Of course he lost it.

You aren't "scum that deserves a bullet," but your attitude is a bit too technocratic. A little empathy wouldn't hurt.

I had a similar close call once—sorry for the off-topic rant—when I completely forgot I actually had an appointment 😁 and showed up a month and a half late.
The nurse checked me in and asked if I was scheduled.
I told her yeah, but I’d been out of Chicago and just finally made it back...
"Uh, I'm not sure if the doctor can see you. You'll have to talk to him," she said.
I should mention that the doctor is behind two doors, and in between them is a hallway filled with 40 patients who are all losing their minds waiting. Any attempt at "cutting the line" or even just trying to chat with the doctor gets met with yelling, screaming, or some seriously aggressive death stares.
So I asked, "Could you please ask him if he can give me my prescription? It's the one only he can authorize, and I HAVE to take it regularly. If I don't get it now, I'm going to be in much worse shape by the time my next actual appointment rolls around."
The nurse just goes, "I don't know... he's really busy right now." (As if he ever isn't.) She told me to try and catch him after he finishes with his scheduled patients.
Fine, I sat down and waited. I get it, scheduled patients come first. They're waiting, so I'll wait too. My own fault, really...
Half an hour passes,
another thirty minutes,
another thirty,
then lunch break hits.
Lunch ends,
and I'm starting to lose it. I sit there for another 15 minutes until I finally corner a grumpy-looking nurse to see if she'll let me talk to the doctor since she wouldn't. Just then, the doctor walks out, and the nurse starts squawking at him like a frantic hen in that echoey hallway. Everyone suddenly turns all sweet and chirpy when talking to him, all "Doctor! Doctorrr!" She tells him, "A patient was scheduled a month ago and didn't show, and now she's here unannounced. I don't know if you can see her; she should have called ahead, but she DIDN'T!"
Honestly, the guy probably would have just told me to come in just to make the shouting stop.
Just a side note: they actually do see non-scheduled patients sometimes.
And another thing: the doctor has zero clue who is scheduled and who isn't unless the nurse tells him.
If she had just been a little more approachable and human about it, she wouldn't have needed to say anything at all; she could have just squeezed me in wherever possible.
Or, she could have done all that without the whole dramatic performance.
So, there's a little insight into the courtesy and professionalism of medical staff.

Look, clearly I'm not the only one who has dealt with nightmare sisters. 😠

Since I’m venting anyway, I have to mention how much it breaks my heart sitting in this waiting room, listening to how they check people in and "chat" with them.
They couldn't care less if you're 15 or 80; they just yell at everyone. Instead of helping a patient in three minutes with clear instructions, they stretch those three minutes into fifteen minutes of unnecessary shouting and arguing.
Rather than just doing their jobs properly and showing a little humanity, they act like nobody came here to watch them. We're all miserable enough dealing with whatever sickness we have without the extra drama.
It honestly gave me chills. On top of being sick, we're expected to just sit there and take that kind of treatment...

It isn't easy for those nurses either. They’re essentially on the front lines dealing with patients 😉 and they frequently have to enforce decisions they didn't make and likely don't agree with, yet they're the ones who have to deliver the news and absorb all the hostility and anger. Take the endocrinology department at Johns Hopkins Hospital, for example; they won't see anyone who isn't already an established patient, even though their lab is the only one in Chicago capable of running certain specific tests. That was the director's call. When I was there last year for some testing, I witnessed at least a dozen instances where nurses had to turn people away. Naturally, people start yelling at the staff and picking fights. And let's be honest, not everyone is as polite and civil as we are here 😁; you deal with real aggressors, much like the patient mentioned in nimbleskipper13's post. I suspect those nurses develop a defensive shell behind the counters, which explains why they can come across as cold—much like many government clerks or hospital receptionists in general. If they seem unfriendly, well, they are 😁. Generally speaking, the intake desks and outpatient clinics are the most unpleasant parts of any medical facility.

Betty Bennett10 said:It’s not easy on those nurses either. They’re on the front lines dealing with patients 😉 and often have to enforce decisions they didn't make and don't even agree with. They're the ones who have to deliver the news and take the heat when people get angry. For instance, over at the endocrinology department at Johns Hopkins Hospital, they won't see anyone who isn't already their patient, even though their lab is the only one in Chicago capable of running certain tests. That was the director's call. I was there for some tests last year and saw at least ten people get turned away because of that policy. Naturally, people start yelling at the nurses. And let’s be honest, not everyone is as polite as we are here 😁—you get aggressive types like the patient mentioned in nimbleskipper13's post. I think those nurses develop a defensive shell just to survive, which is why they can come off as rude. It's pretty common with front-desk staff at hospitals. And yeah, if they're being rude 😁, it's because hospital reception areas are usually the worst part of the whole experience.

Sorry, but that doesn't justify snapping at an 80-year-old man who's hard of hearing. He's struggling through a maze of hallways on crutches, trying to understand directions, looking like he's about to burst into tears from the pain and the confusion...

Betty Bennett10 said:It’s not easy for those nurses either.

Not easy?

Maybe they should take a walk and see what a real shift looks like for their colleagues—say, over in the ER, an ICU, or a psych ward?

Look, I have massive respect for the nursing profession, but these desk clerks are arrogant, rude, and just plain unpleasant. I hate making sweeping statements, but there are so few decent ones left that you barely notice them.

It’s not quite that, I’m not saying they are, I’m just suggesting they’ve had to endure enough nonsense themselves to justify becoming a bit abrasive. Honestly, the worst part is having to navigate that gauntlet of nurses just to get a moment with the doctors, who are usually the ones actually being decent and polite. I actually called the local vineyard clinic specifically to track down a lab report, and the nurse there predictably snapped at me 🙄 but she eventually handed the phone over to the doctor, who was incredibly helpful. She tracked down my results, walked me through everything over the phone, and then made a copy to mail out to me. See, the thing is, they had already sent the report to my primary physician, but those nurses were insisting it never arrived. But 😁 it wasn't lost; they just didn't feel like doing the legwork to find it.

Betty Rivera14 said:You think they have it hard?

They should probably take a walk through the halls of a major trauma center or spend an afternoon observing the staff in an ICU or a psychiatric ward before making such claims.

I have nothing but respect for the nursing profession, but these front-desk types can be incredibly arrogant, rude, and just plain unpleasant. I’m not one for sweeping generalizations, but the number of decent people in those roles is so small it becomes impossible to ignore.

My take is that their stress stems from being on the front lines with patients; they’re constantly forced to explain decisions made by doctors or administrators, which inevitably triggers patient frustration, leading them to lash out at the staff. Physically speaking, of course, their workload doesn't even begin to compare to what their colleagues are doing deep within the hospital wards.

Betty Bennett10 said:That’s not what I meant. I’m not saying they are, I'm just suggesting they've had to deal with enough nonsense to make them act out.

Extremely rare.

People are typically quite respectful toward sisters, at least during the initial encounter.

Because they understand that so much depends entirely on her.

Betty Rivera14 said:It happens very, very rarely.

People generally tend to be quite polite toward nurses, at least when they first walk through the door.

They understand that their experience largely depends on how that nurse handles things.

Well, I wouldn't say that's always the case; I was actually at a hospital near downtown Chicago recently where I watched everyone just lose it on a nurse. She calmly explained the situation to the first five people who were shouting at her, but after that, she just completely lost her patience and snapped back. Then, some patients decided they weren't going to budge until they spoke to the hospital director and threatened to call the local news stations. I managed to push my way through the crowd 😁 so I didn't see how the whole thing wrapped up.

Fine 🙂

It seems you’ve had the insane luck of only ever encountering polite medical staff 🙂

Either that, or you have connections in the industry that grant you a different level of treatment 😉

Betty Rivera14 said:fair enough 🙂

I’ve been noticing that you seem to have had the incredible stroke of luck where you've only ever crossed paths with polite medical staff 🙂

unless, of course, you actually work in the industry or have some kind of connection that earns you a different level of treatment 😉

No, I don't work in the field, and I certainly haven't been lucky enough to encounter nothing but kindness from staff; if anything, I'm just trying my best to make sense of everyone's behavior.

I 🙂

Even if my sister—who’s gone through five different IV lines, set up eight infusions, emptied three catheter bags, and flipped and washed two immobile patients—hit a breaking point and snapped at me, I still wouldn't say a word.

But this lady with the manicured nails, ordering a pizza on her phone while there's a line of twenty people waiting at the clinic counter? She’s the one who actually gets under my skin.