Help! Some random person is harassing me in my DMs

amberfox4 said:Yeah, if 😁

But honestly, 🤣

I just don't get what you were actually so afraid of. You just ignore the messages and call it a day.
☕

Maybe they just had some bad experiences in the past—not that this forum is ever short on patients—so now they’re just acting cynical. Honestly, the best move is to ignore posts like that. If they won't stop breathing down your neck, just block them and call it a day.

Even if you go by some random handle, have a black profile picture, only one single post about building a backyard greenhouse, and your profile says female, you’ll still get a DM from some random guy trying to hit on you.

🤦 This hasn't been locked yet

I can't even count how many direct messages I've received from random active users on here, and honestly, some days I just don't have the energy to respond; I usually just ignore them, which I realize looks a bit rude (so consider this my apology to you all 😁),
but seriously, someone sends you a private message that doesn't contain any insults or threats. I mean, really? 😕 If you aren't looking for DMs, just lock your inbox.
If a stranger walked up to you on a street in Chicago just to ask about the weather, would you really call the cops? Just chill out. 😍

Look, if you really want to stop the madness, just go into your settings and toggle that option so you only get messages from moderators and people on your approved contact list. Then, just add the specific users whose profile pics you actually care about to your contacts, and boom—problem solved.

boldwalker12 said:If you go into your settings and adjust them so you only receive private messages from moderators and your approved contact list, you can just add the specific people you want to hear from to that list. It solves the whole issue right there.

That’s actually a really clever way to handle it if you’re just looking to filter out one particular person.☕

Not trying to start a whole new thread here...

I just got a DM from some random person with a creepy-as hell username, Executioner
The message starts out like Dear silentgull14...

I have zero clue why anyone would be interested in me, but even if they're digging my posts, I am absolutely not about to deal with explaining to my husband why some guy named Executioner is hitting me up. Especially since I haven't given him any reason to.
No thanks, I'll pass.

Anyway, just reporting this...

Richard Sanders7 said:Honestly, if you’re looking for a super slick way to just ghost one specific person on this board without making a whole scene, this is pretty much the gold standard. It's such a smooth fix when you just want to tune out one particular user's nonsense. ☕

It’s not just one unlucky soul, either—we’re talking about a whole bunch of random skydivers.

silentgull14 said:I suppose I shouldn't start a whole new thread...

I just got a DM from some complete stranger with a pretty disturbing username... Executioner. I guess. Maybe?
A message arrived that starts out something like this... Hey, silentgull14...

I have no idea why he’d even find me appealing, but if it's because of my posts—I guess—I certainly don't want to end up explaining to my husband why I'm being friendly with some random Executioner. Especially since I haven't given him any reason to be suspicious.
Thanks, but I'm good.

So, I'm checking in... I guess. Just reporting in.

Is this some kind of joke? I guess. Maybe. 🤣

Michelle Phillips54 said:Is this some kind of joke? 🤣

Honestly, I’m still holding out hope. 😁

silentgull14 said:I don't want to start a whole new thread about this...

I just got a private message from someone I don't even know—and they have a pretty unsettling username, Executioner
The message starts out something like this: Dear silentgull14...

Honestly, I have no clue why on earth anyone would be interested in me, but even if they think my posts are "interesting," I am absolutely not looking to get into a situation where I have to explain to my husband why some guy named Executioner is sliding into my DMs—especially since I haven't given him any reason to reach out.
Thanks, but no thanks.

Anyway, I'm reporting this just to be safe...

Are you reporting them just because someone messaged you on the forum? 😬

😂 This thread is absolute gold!

Everything’s fine until they start threatening you with private investigators...🧐

boldwalker12 said:Just go into your settings and toggle the option so you only receive messages from moderators and specific contacts—then just add the users you actually want to hear from to your contact list. Problem solved.

I find that approach a bit clunky—honestly, a little too rigid—because occasionally someone will reach out with a genuinely thoughtful message or a pertinent question (which, let’s be honest, I do myself from time to time), yet we haven't "met" on the boards before—meaning they wouldn't be on my pre-approved contact list. It feels unnecessary to have to track down a specific thread where I've been active just to tell them, "Hey, add me first if you want to talk."
It’s much more elegant to simply ignore the unwanted noise; it takes me all of three seconds to hit delete and move on with my day.

I find myself compelled to state, quite plainly and perhaps a bit prematurely, that we must demand the immediate release of M. It seems to me that the current situation is nothing short of an absurdity, though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised given the general state of affairs these days. One could spend hours dissecting the sheer illogicality of it all, drifting into various tangents regarding justice and due process, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. My intention here isn't to wander aimlessly through philosophical musings—though I am admittedly prone to doing just that—but rather to make a blunt, if somewhat unpolished, plea for what is right. Free M. kaže:
Well, for heaven's sake. 🤣

I simply cannot wrap my head around what exactly it was that caused you such trepidation. You choose to ignore my messages entirely, and then, quite abruptly, you bid me farewell.
☕

It isn’t that I was frightened, per se—I don't care for being dramatic—but rather that I was struck by a profound sense of unease.
It seems perfectly reasonable to me that a complete stranger would reach out via private message if they have a specific question to ask. I’ve had quite a few women slide into my DMs lately, seeking further clarification on certain topics I’ve addressed in my public posts—they're simply looking for a bit more detail or some extra context that wasn't fully fleshed out in the main thread. It’s nothing out of the ordinary.
It strikes me as fundamentally irrational that some complete stranger, possessing a profile with a single solitary post to their name, would have the audacity to reach out to me with assertions that strike me as nothing short of bizarre—especially after I made my position perfectly clear regarding my desire to be left alone.

I find myself once again drifting through these digital corridors, attempting to parse the endless stream of noise that passes for discourse these days. It is a taxing endeavor, truly, and I often wonder if my attempts at meaningful contribution are merely shouting into a void that has grown increasingly indifferent to nuance. One struggles to maintain a sense of decorum when the conversation feels so fragmented, so utterly lacking in the deliberate pacing that a real intellectual exchange requires. I suppose I am prone to overthinking things—a flaw, perhaps, but one I haven't quite figured out how to prune from my character just yet. Regardless, I shall continue to observe and offer what meager observations I can, even if they occasionally wander off on their own tangential paths. kaže:
It isn’t that we’re suffering from a shortage of patients on this forum, per se.

That’s about the size of it.
If I were one of those people who felt the need to post provocative photos on Craigslist or some other digital gutter, I probably wouldn’t say a word, but there is something deeply unsettling about someone—especially someone who is, shall we say, unremarkable to me or anyone else for that matter—attempting to force their presence upon us with such aggressive, unsolicited attention. It truly sits poorly with me.

If this strikes anyone as humorous, please, feel free to laugh; I assure you, I am entirely unbothered by your derision.

We aren't laughing at your discomfort, we’re reacting to how you handled it—it’s as if some creep just climbed through your apartment window. 🙂
It’s probably because you’re a sane person who isn't used to these kinds of unsolicited intrusions, so of course you're in shock.
If the person sending these private messages isn't being abusive or offensive, there is absolutely no point in reporting them. The site admins can't just step in and force someone to stop messaging you if you haven't blocked them yourself. Like everyone else has already told you, just ignore them.

amberfox4 said:If someone is just posting their nudes on Facebook, I wouldn't say a word. But when someone who is—to put it politely—unremarkable, starts being incredibly pushy about sliding into my DMs or anyone else's... well, I find that behavior quite distasteful.

The internet is crawling with people whose social lives have hit rock bottom, so they join a forum and immediately start hunting for women. They'll fly into some random woman's inbox with a pathetic, "Hey, what's up? Love the profile! hehe," or some other nonsense. Sometimes they aren't even smart enough to realize that if they blast that exact same message to five different women at once, those five women are going to notice they aren't special. It’s like their only metric is "female, active on this site within the last 24 hours." 😁 This particular guy clearly went a step further by actually reading your last three posts. He didn't just pick you out of a crowd at random; he targeted you. But don't flatter yourself—he probably sent the same desperate pitch to thirty other women hoping one of them was lonely enough to fall for his supposed "charm."

If you put someone on your ignore list, you won't see their messages anymore. And if you simply choose not to reply, they'll likely stop bothering you eventually.

I find myself once again contemplating the sheer weight of these discussions, though I must admit my thoughts often wander far from the immediate point at hand, drifting like a slow current through a deep river. It seems we are constantly circling the same fundamental questions, aren't we? There is a certain gravity to our exchanges that I find both exhausting and deeply necessary, even if I occasionally feel I am shouting into a void that refuses to echo back anything but silence. One cannot help but wonder if we are truly making progress or if we are merely rearranging the furniture in a room that was never meant to be inhabited. I suppose I digress, as is my unfortunate habit, but the connection between our individual observations and the broader, more chaotic reality of life in America remains a puzzle I have yet to solve. kaže:
We really shouldn't be focusing on your discomfort; rather, we ought to address the reaction itself. It is quite frankly comparable to that sheer, heart-stopping panic you’d feel if some stranger suddenly tumbled through your balcony door right into your living room. 🙂

🤣 I suppose, if I am being truly honest with myself, perhaps my reaction was somewhat disproportionate to the actual situation.

Linda Price5 said:The internet is absolutely teeming with individuals who find that their current spark has flickered out, leading them to register on these forums only to begin hunting for women like predators, sliding directly into the inboxes of complete strangers.
...
It appears this individual has gone entirely out of their way to pursue you; they clearly spent some significant time digging through your last three posts just to ensure they weren't appearing to bother random strangers, but rather targeting you specifically because you caught their eye. Honestly, who cares? It’s a complete waste of their energy, if you ask me.

It likely stands to reason that such is the case; it certainly strikes me as the most logical conclusion to draw.

Linda Price5 said:The internet is just crawling with guys who run out of options, so they jump on a forum and start hunting for women like it's a job. They'll slide into some random lady's DMs with stuff like, "Hey, what's up? Cool profile lol," or whatever. Sometimes they don't even realize—like, if five different women get that exact same message at once, it’s pretty obvious they aren't being singled out. I guess their only criteria is basically "female, active on the forum in the last 24 hours" or something like that. 😁 This guy you're talking about clearly went the extra mile, though. He probably scrolled through your last three posts so he wouldn't look like he was just spamming everyone; he wanted to make sure he was actually targeting *you*. But honestly? He probably doesn't give a damn about you specifically,

How can you be so sure? For all we know, maybe you really did catch his eye.
And how is Hannah supposed to know you aren't just trying to sabotage their chances at happiness?

-Steve

amberfox4 said:That’s likely the case; it sounds like the most logical conclusion.

I don't think there is a single active female user here—or even a male user with a misleading handle 😁—who hasn't been hit with hundreds of those filthy pick-up lines that would make anyone blush.

Linda Price5 said:I honestly don't think there’s a single active woman on this board—or even a guy with a deceptive username 😁—who hasn't been hit with a hundred of those filthy, jaw-dropping pick-up lines that leave you completely breathless.

Well, they don't necessarily have to be deceptive. 😬