Sleeping too much

So, my boyfriend is sleeping an incredible amount—way too much, honestly. 😲
Since he doesn't have any major responsibilities on his plate right now, he feels like he can get away with it; for instance, he’ll easily clock about 11 hours of sleep every single day. And I’m not even exaggerating when I say that when we're just hanging out and getting cozy, he could easily sleep through an entire day... it's been going on for a while now. The weirdest part is that even when he gets what most people consider a standard amount of rest—say, 6, 7, or 8 hours—he still can't function. He spends the whole day yawning and acting completely exhausted. His excuse is simply that this is just how he is and that's how much sleep he requires.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Could this be a health issue, and if so, what kind of specialist should he see? I really feel like this is becoming a bit excessive.

Thanks 🙂

He’s not sick or anything. Just let him sleep... "normal" needs are such a moving target anyway, they vary so much from one person to the next, and even within a single lifetime, they just... shift over time.

Donna Johnson16 said:He isn't sick; just let him sleep. What counts as "normal" needs vary wildly from one individual to the next, and even within a single person's life, those requirements shift over time.

Thanks for the input, 😉
But he’s actually the one saying this isn't right—that he’s sleeping far too much. Honestly, I'm also worried about how he's going to manage once he has to start heading into work.

fadedranger2 said:thanks for the reply😉
But he’s saying the same thing—that it isn't normal and he's sleeping way too much. I'm starting to worry about how he'll manage once he actually has to get to work...

He'll adapt because he won't have any other option.

When you're a natural sleeper, more sleep just feels like it's pulling you deeper. I remember back in middle school, I'd sleep through most of my breaks for like 14 hours a day. Could probably still do it if I wanted to, but I don't have nearly that kind of time anymore, so I mostly just run on half capacity.

How does he feel when he's actually awake? Any issues there?

fadedranger2 said:thanks for the reply😉
But even he’s saying it’s not normal, that he’s sleeping way too much. And honestly, I’m getting worried about how he’s gonna manage once he actually has to start working...

man, it’s just a phase right now, like you said—he doesn't have any responsibilities weighing him down, so there's zero adrenaline kicking in. Once life actually gets busy, he'll adjust. It's pretty obvious he used to sleep way less before (so if his body really starts craving more rest then, he can just take a nap in the afternoon or hit the sack earlier at night.)

If he's otherwise healthy, there's really no reason to freak out. You think he might be depressed or something?

crimsongull20 said:They’ll adapt eventually because they won't have any other choice.

When you're a heavy sleeper, there's always an endless supply of sleep just pulling you back under. I remember back in elementary and middle school, I would spend my breaks sleeping for about 14 hours a day. Honestly, I could probably still do that if I wanted to, but I don't have nearly that kind of time anymore, so I usually just try to get by on half of what I actually need.

How does he feel when he's actually awake? Is he experiencing any other symptoms?

There aren't really any specific symptoms, other than him being extremely sluggish. Even if he manages to get 12 hours of sleep, he's constantly yawning and I just get the impression that he's perpetually exhausted.

I don't know, I’d honestly just tell your boyfriend to go see a doctor. Sleeping for 12 hours straight and still feeling sluggish and wiped out isn't normal.

For what it's worth, I used to sleep 12 to 14 hours a day myself. Turned out I had a thyroid issue—hypothyroidism—and that was one of the main symptoms. So yeah, make him go get checked out.

Either they're just being lazy, or they're dealing with some nasty hypothyroidism...

Honestly, they should just go get their thyroid levels checked 🤷

Either he says he’s heading to bed, but really he’s just lurking online all night...
maybe he’s just bored out of his mind...
or maybe his iron levels are totally trashed...
or... 🤷

I mean, look, in my honest opinion, it’s totally worth hitting up a doctor just to make sure you aren't dealing with hypothyroidism or maybe some anemia 🤷

because honestly—whether it's one or the other—we're talking about stuff that's pretty easy to manage... but if you ignore it, things can get messy fast 🤷

Totally agree—but honestly, if his labs actually come back clean, he should get some credit too. Like, just because he’s crashing all the time doesn't mean he's being lazy or that he's bored out of his mind sitting there while people talk... 😁 maybe it's something deeper, like an issue with his red blood cells or oxygen levels 😉

Jokes aside though... how's he doing with getting outside or staying active? Is he getting any exercise at all?

Donna Johnson16 said:If he’s otherwise in good health, there really isn't much to worry about. Do you suspect he might be dealing with depression?

Well, he is going through a rough patch right now and things are pretty stressful, but no, it isn't depression.

Donna Johnson16 said:Jokes aside—how is he doing with getting outside, being active, or playing any sports?

Not at all, 🙂 we love being outdoors and just walking around, but as far as actual sports go, he's got zero interest.

fadedranger2 said:No major issues, just slow. Even after twelve hours of sleep, he’s yawning... always feels exhausted.

If this is new, could be thyroid, low iron, whatever.

The more you sleep, the more tired you get. Personal experience. Maybe try sticking to eight hours for ten days... if things don't improve, see a doctor.

P.S. Sorry for overstepping, but based on what you're saying and those emojis, I get the feeling you might need someone a bit more high-energy...😁

fadedranger2 said:Honestly, life’s got zero demands on you right now... no boss breathing down your neck, no endless to-do lists, nothing. You can actually just let yourself off the hook for once... just lean into it...

fadedranger2 said:Man, he’s going through it right now... just straight up drowning in stress...

Man, these two are just on totally different wavelengths. Like, seriously... what kind of stress are you even talking about?

crimsongull20 said:P.S. Forgive me if I'm overstepping here, but based on your description and those emojis, I get the distinct impression you might actually be more compatible with someone with a bit more high-octane energy. 😁

Well, it varies from time to time. 😁

Donna Johnson16 said:I don't quite follow that logic. What kind of stress are you referring to?

To put it simply, he just graduated last week, and after the grind of finishing his thesis, he's still feeling the burnout. On top of that, his parents are breathing down his neck to land a job and move out, so there's plenty of pressure there.

So, this guy's been a whole week now—right after finishing his degree—just crashing for 11 hours a day?

I swear, we’ve officially crowned a new heavyweight champion of overdoing it 😬
...

Rachel Brooks63 said:So, you're telling me this guy has been sleeping 11 hours a day for a whole week now just because he finished his degree?

I think we have a new gold medalist in the overreaction Olympics here. 😬

No, no, no, 😁this is actually how he is all the time... when he was grinding through his thesis (which he knocked out in a single month), he managed to get up earlier... but before that and after that, it's always been like this. We've been together for a year and he has always been this way. 😉

fadedranger2 said:no, no, no 😁 it just keeps going on and on... when he was grinding out his thesis (did the whole thing in a month), he actually managed to wake up earlier... but before that and after... it's always been like this... we've been together a year and he's always been this way 😉

So, was he like this before that first year?

Honestly, I can't recommend exercise therapy enough. Just get out there and push yourself until you're genuinely exhausted. You'll find your sleep is way deeper, and instead of tossing and turning or hitting snooze for another two hours, you'll actually be able to just get up when the alarm goes off. Ten hours of sleep is... well, it's overkill. Usually, eight is more than plenty.

I'm speaking from experience here—I definitely have a tendency to oversleep and totally flip my day and night schedules. No one could ever force me to go to bed early, and once I'm down, I'd much rather just stay under the covers until noon... or even later 😁

Rachel Brooks63 said:this guy has been sleeping 11 hours a day for a whole week now, right after graduating?
I think we’ve found our new gold medalist in overdoing it. 😬

Look, it doesn't necessarily mean he's doing it on purpose—sometimes stress just drains people so much they have to compensate with massive sleep marathons, especially if he just hit a major life milestone that was way beyond his usual capacity to handle.
But then again, it could be hypothyroidism,
severe anemia,
or—as you put it—just pure laziness and being a total slacker. 🙂

Though, considering he sleeps the most when his girlfriend comes over, it might just be a case of zero motivation and sheer boredom.

fadedranger2 said:and the worst part is, even if he gets a perfectly normal 6, 7, or 8 hours, he still can't function—he’s yawning all day and feels exhausted... he claims that's just how he is and that's how much sleep he needs.

Yawning is either a sign of total disinterest and boredom, or it's a sign that his brain isn't getting enough oxygen—which points back to hemoglobin issues or anemia.

Ask him about his diet and try to get him engaged in something he actually finds interesting.
If he suddenly perks up, then the culprit is definitely just boredom.