Interiors - Moderator City: Complaint about moderation

I’m curious how administration views a moderator who deletes posts warning them they’re going off-topic, only to turn around and accuse the users of trolling or "playing games" when they don't like being called out.

Specifically, silversailor over in the Home Decor section.
Two new threads were opened yesterday, and , both titled as discussions about things related to our homes.
The tone of the threads is laid back, which is great, but silversailor didn't bother reading the titles properly. He’s been completely off-topic because he keeps listing stuff tied to his actual job rather than home decor. He’s an interior designer, so he buys stuff for clients—he's mentioned that on the forum plenty of times.
In one thread specifically about things bought for the home, he even admitted he bought some items for himself and others for work. A few users pointed out he shouldn't be posting work stuff in a non-work thread, and he took offense, deleting our posts under the guise that *we* were the ones being off-topic.

On top of that, he gave me a warning for "trolling" just because of this post: then, he goes and recounts things from my post as a joke in a different thread: (which I reported).
If I'm the troll here, what exactly is he doing? Especially since he’s a moderator.🤦

Also, will administration ever review this guy's performance? Honestly, he’s pretty bad at this. He has this fetish for closing threads without any explanation—though, I'll admit, lately he just adds a quick sentence saying a thread already exists. The other two moderators always make an effort to merge posts into existing threads instead.
Plus, he's basically the main reason these threads turn into constant chat rooms if you look at his recent activity.
Look, I’m not against chatting in threads 😁—that’s why I love the decor section; the vibe is relaxed. But even chatting has its limits. Other moderators (like Solar and Aoife) know when enough is enough and step in, but silversailor doesn't.

He also seems to have the highest count of posts consisting entirely of emojis, which isn't exactly the best way to contribute to a discussion.

Etc...

Bottom line, I think it’s time to swap out the decorator mod for someone actually competent.

And yeah, he’s indirectly advertising himself. He claims he isn't, but anyone who skims this sub knows he’s an interior designer and that you can buy designer pieces (originals or replicas) through him.

So, since you've already moved my post to a separate thread 😕 ....

Is it standard procedure for a moderator to just keep doing whatever they want, basically mocking my post after they gave me a strike 🤣
You can see part of what he wrote before deleting it right here

Originally, he was posting completely off-topic in a thread where people were giving advice. It wasn't until other users called him out that he finally moved those posts to the actual advice thread.

Then, when he didn't like some of the comments, he started trolling again. After the community told him to chill out, he just started nuking everything he wrote.

He’s got this habit of deleting his own posts whenever someone points out his mistakes.
First, he makes all these excuses and writes a wall of text, but then once he realizes he's actually wrong, he frantically deletes everything. Like that one time in a thread about modern interior design—he got called out for ignoring the specific picture size requirements mentioned in the opening post. He spent forever being defensive, claiming everyone else was wrong, and then once it finally sank in that they were right, he wiped the whole thing clean, including his justifications.

It's the same story today. He's writing and erasing. As far as I can tell, he's the only moderator I've seen who can't seem to follow the very rules he's supposed to be enforcing. Once the users call him out—which should ideally be the other way around—he just scrubs his posts, along with others, thinking if it's deleted, it's like it never happened. 😬

But hey, since the site admins can see the edit history, they can get a much clearer picture of everything he's been typing and deleting today 🤦 and see what a "perfect" moderator he really is...
.. He's practically asking to be fired. 😁

I went through a similar ordeal (minus the cardboard part) on another thread.
I did the polite thing and warned the moderator that the conversation had drifted off-topic, especially given how many off-topic posts were piling up. Then, out of nowhere, it was declared off-topic 😁, my post was deleted, and I ended up getting a warning myself.
It makes zero sense—how is a moderator supposed to keep a discussion going in a specific direction if they’re busy deleting the very users they're supposed to be talking to? And apparently, we aren't even allowed to talk back to them.

A few days before that, I posted a standard question on a different thread—just asking about the difference between a copy and a replica—but because the discussion didn't follow the specific path the moderator wanted privately, it was wiped without a word. This happened on a thread where most people spend their time, and more often than not, it's actually moderated by this same individual.

Recently, I sent this same moderator a brief, polite PM asking if they could expand the title of one of my threads. I thought changing it to something like "Small space/Attic" would work fine (honestly, I didn't care which way they did it).

My suggestion was based on a previous consensus reached on a thread where this exact moderator was involved: the agreement was to keep the "Attic" thread for advice and move all the photos over to "Small space."
But did I get a single response to that message? Not a peep.
Why wouldn't I?
The title hasn't been updated either, but I guess that's what you get when your messages are ignored.

In my opinion, jumping from thread to thread just to chat and then silencing any user who points out that you aren't sticking to the topic is just terrible moderation.
Look, I'm not calling for the moderator to be fired; I'm just calling for actual, quality moderation.

quietseal11 said:Instead of just looking at what was deleted, the admins could actually dig into his edit history—you know, see everything he’s been scribbling and then scrubbing today 🤦 to get a real sense of what an "ideal" moderator looks like...
.. Which is basically grounds for getting fired, I suppose.😁

They certainly can. 👍

Thanks for the heads-up.

A few inaccuracies and accusations have been thrown my way—both over there and right here—and this thread does a pretty decent job of summarizing them.
If I say things are untrue, I don't really feel the need to go into an exhaustive explanation, especially to people who clearly seem to be dealing with some personal frustrations. I'm just not sure what they stem from? 🤷 Maybe it's my moderation? 🤷

Look, if anyone (and I mean any single person on this forum) finds my moderation offensive, or simply can't tell the difference between off-topic chatter and actual trolling, they are more than welcome to report me to the admins. The admins can strip me of my duties whenever they like—even without providing a shred of reasoning. Short and sweet.

Personally, I don't have an issue with anyone here; my only problem is that I won't sit idly by while insinuations are spread about me or while I face the kind of serious accusations laid out in this thread.

If the admins decide that the claims made in the first two posts aren't serious, baseless accusations, then fine—they should feel free to remove me from my position.
If the admins fail to see the certain... shall we say, frustrations or perhaps even complexes described in those first three posts, then unfortunately, there isn't much I can do about that.
Some other members have actually reached out to me via PM, noting certain, well, psychological states they perceived. So, I'm certainly not an isolated case.

The suggestion that I'm some newcomer trying to hawk goods—specifically replicas or knockoffs—is a massive accusation.
If I actually wanted to advertise somewhere, even indirectly, I would do it the legitimate way—by paying for advertising and starting a dedicated thread.

And for the record, I am not in the business of selling furniture; I’m not a supplier.
The fact that I might be able to source something for someone at a lower price isn't about turning a profit; it's because I want to help people here save a bit of money when the opportunity arises—a point I believe I've made several times already.

Hopefully, that clears things up? Or wasn't it clear enough? Or was this entire response also considered off-topic, trolling, or a gross insult to the forum members? 🤷

Edit — I can delete everything I've purchased, and everything I want to, from both threads. It’s really no big deal.
If anyone is offended by the fact that I bought things—for myself—I honestly wouldn't even know how to respond to that. Do you, admins?

What lies are you talking about? You're constantly going off-topic, lurking, and then just deleting your own posts.
The admins see it, and it’s the truth.

You literally just admitted you're offering to act as a middleman for purchases.
I don't care what your reasons are, but you're the one making the offer.
You also said on this thread that you buy and sell replicas, and you've been lecturing everyone on the difference between an original, a replica, and a copy.

Nobody ever claimed you were a furniture supplier. We know you're an interior designer, not a retailer—you've stated that yourself on the forum.

Insulting users by bringing up my supposed "frustrations" or my alleged "mental state" is out of line. If you're going to make diagnoses, tell me exactly where you got them, because otherwise, they're just fabrications. Making stuff up like that is a violation that gets users sanctioned, so it's pathetic when it comes from a moderator.
The forum is just a hobby and a way to unwind for me; I don't take it seriously.

Look, I couldn't care less who you are or what you do.
You were way off-topic yesterday. You know it too, because the thread titles are about home decor, not business supplies. Even though you mentioned business stuff yourself, you ended up deleting your own post after being warned. Instead of taking it, you got defensive, brushed it off, deleted it, and then handed me a ban for trolling.
And then, later on, you were the one trolling those same threads by alluding to the very post you banned me for.🤦

So, I'm curious: how is my post trolling, but yours isn't?
And since you were on such a deleting spree, why didn't you just wipe all my posts? Or did you find keeping them useful for your own subsequent posting and justifications—basically, more trolling?

Your activity on the forum yesterday is the perfect reflection of your moderation style.

Thanks. 👍

I shouldn't delete a stickied post until it expires—unless, of course, the admin wants to correct me there.

There’s a distinction between going off-topic and trolling, you know. Yesterday, things drifted off-topic quite a bit on my end, too. I didn't start the tangent, but I did try to scrub it away, since that isn't really where this discussion belongs.
I wasn't trolling, which—to be clear—isn't something I ever do.

A troll is someone who jumps into a thread specifically to stir up trouble. In their mind, they're both trolling and off-topicing at the same time.
If my definition is off, I'm happy to let the admin set the record straight.

Was I trolling yesterday just by posting pictures of what I bought? Not at all. Honestly, it wasn't even off-topic, considering it was a personal purchase.

Admin, if you're around, please step in so we can wrap this up. I don't really have the energy for an argument—I've got much better things to do.

Could you actually answer my question for once? It’s not just about you ignoring my PMs—though, seriously, why are you doing that?—it’s the fact that you’re dodging me here too.😕

Sorry, but I'm actually not quite sure which question you're referring to? It’s entirely possible I might have scrolled right past your message—which happens more often than I'd care to admit—so I didn't get a chance to reply.

Here it is:

I recently sent a quick, polite DM to the same moderator asking if they could expand the title of one of my threads. I figured expanding "Small spaces" to something like "Small spaces/Attic" would work—honestly, I didn't care how it was phrased.

The whole thing stems from a previous consensus reached on a thread where this exact same mod was involved (we agreed that the "Attic" section should stay strictly for advice, while photos of attics should go under "Small spaces").
And I haven't received a single response to that message?
Why is that?
The title hasn't been updated either, but I guess that’s to be expected when you're being met with total silence.

**
Fine, let's just forget about the DM, but are we also going to ignore the question here in this thread?🤷
Expanding a thread title isn't exactly a matter of life or death for me.
But it is a little strange not to get even a simple acknowledgment of the request.

As usual, you’re being a bit dramatic. Just give me a title and I’ll change it—The End.
It’s not like I'm the only moderator on the board, after all. If I hadn't checked in, you could have always sent me a message again.

silversailor said:As usual, you're just being dramatic. Give me a headline and I'll change it. The End.
Acting like you're the sole moderator on this entire site. If I hadn't checked in, you could have just sent me another DM.

First off, that bolded part? That is absolutely no way to conduct a conversation.
Secondly, I don't recall us having any "excessive communication" that would justify me "acting the same as always." Those are just cheap shots used to discredit someone you're arguing with.
So, zero points for your communication style.

I did come up with a headline. And I sent you a direct message.
To which you didn't respond at all.🤷
Even though you were plenty busy being snarky about several other topics at the same time.
So, I asked you right here why you hadn't replied.
Is that the reason?😕
And my response was simply that I was being dramatic.
That isn't an answer to my question, nor is it how—for no legitimate reason—a moderator should be addressing a forum member.

Why on earth would I send the exact same message multiple times, only to then be accused of spamming or being a nuisance?
Did you receive it?
Yes, you did.
So where exactly is the problem?😕

Update: I’ll send you a quick request via DM regarding something within the mod's core authority—just a direct message, no images, no drama. Nothing for anyone else to see.
Then, when I bring up that same question publicly on the thread a few days later, you just completely ignore my entire post.🤣
When I actually ask you to answer a question, you act like you have no idea what I'm even talking about.🤦>
And then, once I repeat it, all I get from you are these sarcastic "compliments" and insults.
I don't recall ever belittling you or being disrespectful in our communications, so frankly, I have no desire to be spoken to that way either. Thanks.

🤦

Hey, mods—can someone please step in here?
Honestly, nobody should have to deal with this much sheer frustration and unnecessary drama (or maybe it’s just one of those days, who knows?)—not even me.

Is there an actual, legitimate reason why you’re choosing to take cheap shots instead of just answering a dead-simple question?

Let me be crystal clear: I am not insulting you, and I have zero interest in being insulted by you.
Bringing up my menstrual cycle has absolutely nothing to do with this discussion, and frankly, it reeks of blatant sexism.
It’s just a pathetic attempt at provocation.

Look, please—just stop being so incredibly stubborn about this nonsense and leave me alone. Goodbye.

silversailor said:Admin, please step in.
Nobody needs to deal with this much drama and frustration (or maybe just one of those days), not even me.

Admin, seriously, get over here...
...I have no clue who this quoted mod is or how they actually handle things, but if their go-to move is making comments about "that time of the month," they shouldn't be moderating anything. If guys were asking the questions instead of women, I doubt he’d be telling them they’re just being moody because of some morning habit, making them look ridiculous. ☕

stormylynx4 said:Admins, seriously, please just show up...
... I honestly have no clue who this quoted mod is or how they even handle their job, but if their main way of arguing is bringing up "those days of the month," then there's really no point in having them moderate this forum. If guys are asking questions instead of women, it’s not like I can just tell them they didn't masturbate this morning and stop them from bothering him unnecessarily. ☕

Please, let's not turn every single dilemma into a gender rights issue. The bottom line is the moderator just lacks basic communication skills, not to mention any sense of common decency or social grace. It doesn't matter if they're male, female, or non-binary.☕

stormylynx4 said:Admins, seriously, please show up...
... I honestly have no clue who this quoted moderator is, or how they actually handle their responsibilities, but if their primary line of defense is dragging "those days of the month" into an argument, then there’s really nothing left to ask for from a moderator on this forum. If men were the ones asking the questions instead of women, I doubt he’d be telling them they didn't just masturbate this morning—it seems like he's just unnecessarily harassing people. ☕

It strikes me as a bit funny that you've brought up "those days" now and claimed that's the core argument.
If that's the case, then what exactly is the main driver behind all this frustration and over-the-top dramatization? 🤷
The fact that someone received a strike—or rather, a warning? I wouldn't say that.
I couldn't help but feel like there might be some sort of script being followed here, where I'm being watched and noted down. Interesting, 😬

Sorry if I went a bit overboard with the whole "days of the month" thing; I realize that can be a sensitive subject.
But, in my view, there’s simply no excuse for acting out in frustration or making such a huge drama out of something so trivial.