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Home › Miscellaneous › Feedback & Suggestions › Why are people getting banned for responding to insults instead of the ones actually insulting?

Why are people getting banned for responding to insults instead of the ones actually insulting?

Started by Jacob Martin52 · · 👁 4 views · 35 replies

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Participants Jacob Martin52Daniel Ward87Carl Cox3ambermason16amberdriver17Michelle Alvarez8Sophia Gray8Christian Green37Lisa Hernandez3Nicholas Kingfrozenowl3Karen Rodriguez3fadedsailor932rustydrifter10Jose White18
Jacob Martin52 Jacob Martin52 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Mar 2012
#1 ·
This mystery is going to haunt me on this forum forever. It happens a hundred times: I drop some provocative opinion that most people aren't going to agree with.

Then, out of nowhere, these high-strung types show up—people who are clearly frustrated by something in their own lives—and the second they see something they don't like, they just start hurling insults. You know the drill: "you're crazy," "you're stupid," "get help," "you're not normal," or whatever other garbage an idle, miserable mind can conjure up.

And here’s the kicker: when you finally lose your cool and snap back at them in kind, the mods usually don't even blink at the initial insult (honestly, sometimes it feels like they enjoy watching it). Instead, *you* get the ban—simply because you fought back using their own tactics.

What kind of logic is that? So, someone else can come at me with disgusting vitriol first, but I’m expected to follow some saintly, "turn the other cheek" doctrine regardless of how nasty the attack was?

If that's the rule, why don't you apply it to yourselves? Why is it that the people throwing the insults never seem to get banned, even though they're clearly breaking the rules? It feels like there's one set of rules for the favorites and another for everyone else.

Are you banning the person responding just because you don't know them, while letting the original harasser off easy because they're part of the inner circle? I honestly don't get it. It's a permanent enigma to me. I'd really love a straight answer as to why I've been targeted by this injustice a thousand times already.

Why is it that you never react when someone drops a curse word at me, digs up my old posts that have nothing to do with the current topic just to mock me, or uses irrelevant stuff to tear me down? Yet, the moment I respond to that person, I'm the one getting banned.
Why can't you see the difference between good and evil? You completely ignore a malicious, humiliating, and vile post directed at me, but you suddenly develop perfect vision the moment I fire back. And then—boom—the ban. I'm half-joking, but seriously: someone comes along being malicious, digs up some bad experience from my past to insult me (which has zero connection to the topic), and you don't care. They are being genuinely hateful, but if I respond—even with a tiny insult—the hammer falls on me.

You don't care that they're pulling off-topic posts that should be flagged as spam and harassment. I sit around waiting to see a single warning issued to people like that, but since you never react and they never get penalized, I end up hitting back with an insult of my own—sometimes a stronger one, just to settle the score—and I already know the outcome: warnings or bans for me.
Jacob Martin52 Jacob Martin52 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Mar 2012
#2 ·
Everything would be great if there was just ONE SINGLE TIME since I started hanging out here that I’ve been banned for being some kind of cartoon character after suing someone for insults.

Sadly, that hasn't happened even once! Not one single time.
I mean, isn't there some statistical probability theory where at least once in a hundred tries, the dice should land in my favor, even at the lowest possible odds?

And it’s not just me, either. I notice it all the time—this crowd where people jump into threads with totally baseless insults, and more often than not, the person who actually stands up to them gets flagged and kicked off. It’s almost never the original jerk who starts the fight.

So basically, someone can go on and on forever, picking fights, hurling insults, and attacking whoever they want, but the second you snap back? You're the problem. Even if they’re calling you sick, crazy, or every other terrible name under the sun.
Am I supposed to just sit there and say, "Please, carry on, because those are the rules of Reddit"?
Daniel Ward87 Daniel Ward87 Active Member
195 messages
joined May 2023
#3 ·
Could you give me an example of what you mean? It’s pretty tough to wrap my head around a question or a comment that's this broad.
Carl Cox3 Carl Cox3 Active Member
77 messages
joined Dec 2020
#4 ·
I have observed this pattern many times before. It seems the moderators hold certain members in high regard, ensuring they never receive warnings or penalties. Conversely, if someone simply disagrees with them, a penalty is issued immediately.

Take this instance for example:
Look at posts 28 and 29. In post 28, the first user is clearly insulting, yet nothing happens. When I respond in kind, I am the one who receives a penalty.
ambermason16 ambermason16 Active Member
213 messages
joined Apr 2009
#5 ·
The only sane way to deal with insults, trolling, flame wars, and all that nonsense is to report the post and let the moderators handle the cleanup and sanctions. Trying to "get even" or engaging in any kind of back-and-forth petty arguing? That gets wiped out and penalized immediately. I don't see why this is an issue.

Let’s be real: nobody—not even you, unless you're directly in the line of fire—wants to slog through five pages of people bickering over nothing or hurling digital insults at each other. It's usually just two or three strangers trading cheap shots. Breaking the rules like that is nothing more than polluting the thread. Just report them to the mods, enjoy watching them get hit with an infraction, and get back to having actual conversations that stay on topic.

Seriously, I still don't see the problem here.

And look, if you genuinely believe a specific moderator is playing favorites in a particular instance, take that specific case to the admins or super-mods. This whole "it happens constantly/hundreds of times/I'm a victim of injustice" type of thread is just 🙄.
amberdriver17 amberdriver17 Member
10 messages
joined May 2012
#6 ·
I noticed the same thing over on The New York Times—actually got slapped with a ban myself just for making a joke about Secretary Holy’s appearance. But then I see way worse insults flying around without any consequences, even coming from a moderator (Observer) who gets a free pass every single time. It’s wild. When I try to report actual trolls and spammers, they don't get a single warning, yet the people they're baiting end up getting punished instead. It's pretty obvious which users are the moderation favorites and who basically has a "license to troll."
Michelle Alvarez8 Michelle Alvarez8 Regular
299 messages
joined Nov 2015
#7 ·
Hannah Roberts66 said:Everything would be perfectly fine—if just ONCE since I've been hanging out here—I hadn't been banned for reporting someone who was insulting me. [/B]

Why are you even surprised?

I report a few posts where people are attacking me, then I report them again. Then I head over to the PŽK to ask why those users haven't been penalized, only for the admin to tell me, "Well, you're the one asking to be insulted." After hours of arguing, they finally manage to penalize the very first insult, but all the others go totally unpunished—and then somehow, I'm the one getting hit with a ban for trolling, even though I literally spent several posts explaining how not to troll!

So, just keep reporting them. 😁
Carl Cox3 Carl Cox3 Active Member
77 messages
joined Dec 2020
#8 ·
ambermason16 said:I still don't see what the issue is.

The problem lies in the fact that even when you report an insulting post, the moderators pretend to be oblivious and intentionally refuse to punish the offender. This forum operates under double standards. Don't we need new moderators?
Sophia Gray8 Sophia Gray8 Newcomer
1 message
joined Jun 2011
#9 ·
Amy Rivera66 said:The problem is even when you report someone for being toxic, the mods just play dumb and look the other way instead of actually handing out punishments. There's a massive double standard happening on this board. We seriously need some new moderators.

It’s the exact same thing over in the cycling sub: some guy starts calling a female member names and tells her to shut up and be ashamed of herself...

Then, a few posts later, someone calls him out for being aggressive by saying he's got a low IQ, and THAT'S what gets them banned.

😢 This is what "moderating" looks like. 👎
Carl Cox3 Carl Cox3 Active Member
77 messages
joined Dec 2020
#10 ·
They’ve gone silent because they know we’re right and have no real arguments left to justify themselves. Pathetic, truly...
Jacob Martin52 Jacob Martin52 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Mar 2012
#11 ·
Amy Rivera66 said:They’ve gone silent because they know we’re right and they’ve got zero arguments left to defend themselves. Pathetic, honestly...

I'm with you on this one. It’s pretty obvious they don't have a leg to stand on against these serious, well-founded callouts—callouts that, from what I can see, plenty of other people here agree with.

The thing is, this has been a permanent fixture on this forum for ages. No matter how many times they swap out the moderation team, it feels like hardly anyone (if anyone, really) actually does anything about a report for an indecent post or someone being outright offensive. Those posts almost never get penalized.

You can sit there waiting for hours—and yeah, there’s a whole crowd of mods on this site—but you won’t see any reaction or any actual consequences when you report a nasty comment or a situation where someone clearly starts insulting someone else for no reason. That post just cruises right through without a single penalty.

But heaven forbid *you* respond to it later (even if it’s been three days since the insult happened and nothing was done about it), then suddenly you're the one getting hit with some massive warning or losing a ton of points. At this rate, I guess you should just let everyone insult you and stay quiet. Maybe even thank them for the insults while you're at it...
Jacob Martin52 Jacob Martin52 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Mar 2012
#12 ·
Daniel Ward87 said:Can you actually give me an example of what you mean? It’s kind of tough to wrap my head around when the question is this vague. Hard to comment on something that’s basically just a general statement, you know?

Even better—could you actually give me an example where someone reported an unpleasant post and the moderators actually stepped in and handed out a sanction?
That would be way better. ☕

And please, don't go labeling my post as spam or trolling now, okay? 😳🙄
Christian Green37 Christian Green37 Member
18 messages
joined Apr 2008
#13 ·
Daniel Ward87 said:Can you give me an actual example of what you mean? It’s pretty tough to give a real answer when the question is this vague. Honestly, it's hard to even comment on something that general.

I can handle this. Check out that thread about the assault case—the one they moved over to psychology after everything devolved into a nut-filled mess. Michelle Alvarez8 basically exposed Soraja Ol Over Agen, and then the girls just went absolutely ballistic. Naturally, they’re the ones who ended up getting banned. Here are the links: I’m still trying to wrap my head around this whole situation. Honestly, I don’t think anyone really gets it yet. It feels like we're all just staring at the pieces on the board, waiting for someone to make a move that actually makes sense. Jacob Martin52 mentioned something earlier that sort of hit the nail on the head, but even then, it felt incomplete. There’s a lot of noise out there, a lot of people shouting about what they *think* is happening, but if you look closely, the logic just isn't there. It’s a mess. Anyway, I'll keep watching. We'll see how this plays out.Honestly, I’m still a little lost on this one. It’s just not clicking for me yet.
I honestly don't think people realize how much weight this carries. It’s one thing to talk about it in theory, but when you're actually standing there, facing the reality of the situation, everything changes. You start questioning things you thought were set in stone. It's like that feeling you get when you realize a "sure thing" was actually a massive gamble all along. I've been sitting here thinking about what Jacob Martin52 said earlier, and honestly, he’s got a point. We tend to overcomplicate these things because we want to feel like we're in control, but sometimes, we're just spinning our wheels. I tried explaining this to Daniel Ward87 the other day, but he just gave me that look—you know the one. Like I was losing my mind. But seriously, if we don't address the underlying issue now, we're just waiting for the floor to fall out from under us. It's not about being pessimistic; it's about being realistic. Sometimes, being realistic is just a fancy way of saying you're prepared for the worst.So, you deleted him, fine. But what’s the deal with handing out warnings to these other guys? They actually claimed that Michelle Alvarez8 deserves a ban and called her post an absolute embarrassment. Seriously, Daniel Ward87, give me a break. It’s completely unprofessional. It feels like the mods just wait until they're having one of those moody, irrational days and then start throwing warnings around whenever they spot something they don't like, even if they aren't quite sure what the actual problem is.
Michelle Alvarez8 Michelle Alvarez8 Regular
299 messages
joined Nov 2015
#14 ·
Daniel Ward87 didn't just "hand out warnings" out of nowhere—he only flagged those posts after spending all day debating things with me and Nicholas King. And honestly? The girls haven't "gone wild"—they're just losing it because they can't wrap their heads around the idea that anyone would actually lie about stuff like this. It's fine to see the world through rose-colored glasses, I guess, but reality is pretty damn gray.

Plus, I even caught a warning for trolling—even though I wasn't trolling! Meanwhile, the mod who told me to watch my mouth walked away totally clean. Another thing... I don't think this crowd gets that there are genuinely toxic people out there who will invent any crazy story just to get attention—and then naively believe everything they read online. You've got an account with three posts where the first one claims they can't handle a relationship, and the next two are talking about group chats on hazelnut forums; there's no way that's someone dealing with actual trauma. If—by some tiny, unlikely chance—it actually is true, they need professional help, not whatever support they'll find on a forum.
Lisa Hernandez3 Lisa Hernandez3 Active Member
211 messages
joined Aug 2010
#15 ·
Megan Hill13 said:I can back this up. There was that thread about sexual assault that got moved over to the psychology section—it was basically a mess involving some hazelnut enthusiast—where certain girls went absolutely ballistic, and then they were the ones who ended up getting banned. Here are the links: though this second one is even more confusing to me:
I mean, sure, you guys deleted him, but why give them the ban? They just said Michelle Alvarez8 should take a hike because his post was an embarrassment, right? Give me a break, Daniel Ward87—that’s just totally unprofessional. It feels like there's often this delay where the mods are acting like they're having a bad month, and then they just start handing out bans whenever they see something messy but aren't quite sure what's actually going on.

Oh, please.

By what logic are these "girls" losing their minds? I suppose it's because they're also having a rough week and find it impossible to refrain from leaving rude comments on posts they disagree with—turning a simple discussion into a lecture on civilization or higher moral planes while hurling insults. For what it's worth, I actually suspect the original post might have been fabricated. I'll leave open the small possibility that someone just writes in such a cliché way that it sounds fake, even if they are expressing genuine trauma. But in my opinion—and this is just how I see it—the moderation criteria at the time weren't really about that; it seemed more like both sides (both the author and Michelle Alvarez8 as the "provocateur") were being shielded from any further trolling.
Nicholas King Nicholas King Regular
716 messages
joined Jan 2023
#16 ·
Megan Hill13 said:Michelle Alvarez8, look at how Soraya is acting again—these girls are losing their minds for good reason, yet they’re the ones getting slapped with a ban.

🤦

If you were using a candle and a magnifying glass to hunt for a more glaring example of how poorly this forum is being managed, I doubt you'd find anything more obvious than this.

The individual has essentially just written, "I suspect the original post was fabricated." Even if he were right (which, frankly, I am convinced he is)—even if there weren't specific forum rules prohibiting outbursts, whether justified or otherwise—it remains entirely unclear where, in Michelle Alvarez8's sentence, she provides any actual reasoning for why these girls are "losing it for good reason"?

To the OP: of course reporting a post very, very frequently results in sanctions—it is completely unclear what other method an admin is supposed to use to prove anything.
frozenowl3 frozenowl3 Member
13 messages
joined Apr 2012
#17 ·
You guys deleted my posts (please, I’m begging you)

I clearly directed you toward this specific thread yet despite what Karen Rodriguez3 wrote at the end, there hasn't been a single disciplinary action taken. I was forced to deal with several individuals who were relentlessly insulting me. When are the sanctions actually going to happen?
Karen Rodriguez3 Karen Rodriguez3 Active Member
80 messages
joined Apr 2017
#18 ·
Since you’re the one who opened this thread on the Chicken Coop for her, I guess the Chicken Coop rules apply here. That means no off-topic nonsense or pointless debates, and we don't split things into separate threads just for random venting. Since this basically turned into a dedicated PŽK discussion anyway, it’s been locked.
And look, whether something is actually offensive or not... maybe just let the moderators decide that. Not every opinion you hate is an insult.
frozenowl3 frozenowl3 Member
13 messages
joined Apr 2012
#19 ·
To be perfectly clear, I was specifically linking posts directed at me that were outright insults—deliberate provocations designed to bait a response so I’d get banned. I didn't start anything, but the insult remains right there on the screen.

Just because you don't like an opinion doesn't mean it's an insult.

HahaHAHHAHAHAHAH, what kind of twisted logic is that?
So, if someone calls you a complete idiot and tells you to go to hell,

that's just an "opinion" you happen to dislike? You people are absolutely brilliant. Truly. Sending my love!
Karen Rodriguez3 Karen Rodriguez3 Active Member
80 messages
joined Apr 2017
#20 ·
Just find the posts where someone’s calling you an idiot and being a total jerk, and I bet they won't even get flagged.
I mean, that’s not just having an opinion—that’s straight-up verbal abuse.
And frozenowl3, look, if you feel insulted, that doesn't make it an insult. If someone's opinion gets under your skin or baits you into snapping back, that's on you. Just get that.
I don't really feel like dragging this out any further since I think we all get the point.🙂

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