I can't take it anymore...

I don't know... maybe I shouldn't even be starting a thread here... there’s probably already one about this, and honestly, why wouldn't there be? 😢

I really don't want anyone else to feel the way I'm feeling right now...
I haven't been on the forum in ages—like, six months or so—but today, just now, I realized I need someone... literally anyone who gets it...

Some of you might find this story pretty familiar... and if you think to yourself after this next sentence that you should just stop reading, please, just give me two minutes. Please.
I just want to lose weight. And I know some people will hear that and think, "Oh great, here we go, just another girl who isn't quite right, like she doesn't have bigger problems to deal with."
And look, I do have other things going on, but right now, while I'm sitting here on the verge of tears, this matters. That's why I'm posting this.

Yeah, okay, I get it, it probably sounds super dramatic. I used to be the one judging kids who were obsessed with losing weight, too, but... I don't know... I can't fight it. Being thin is what I want.

And I have zero willpower, which is absolutely killing me inside. I try so hard to hold back from eating, but every single time I fail, this feeling hits me... total despair 😢, this sense of worthlessness... I just feel so weak...

It's not like I'm on some crazy extreme diet. I just try not to eat anything after 5 PM, stick to water, and keep breakfast, lunch, and a snack light. Okay, that's how I *wish* it worked, but rarely does...

Maybe I just need some advice, or some different perspectives, or to hear about what you guys have gone through. I just need to talk to someone who's been in my shoes...

Please write back.

Look, I honestly don't know if you actually need to lose weight, and I have no clue how old you are, but I recognize what you just wrote. It’s incredibly familiar to me... that constant urge to drop pounds, that nagging frustration when you feel like you can't stop eating. I've been there. I actually lost a significant amount of weight once using one of those trendy fad diets, but instead of feeling better, the dissatisfaction just grew. Now, I've got people telling me I'm too thin, others saying I look perfectly fine, but I'll eat something and immediately feel like a balloon. I look in the mirror and all I see is fat.
It’s likely an issue with having a distorted view of ourselves or our surroundings—maybe even something deeper. Personally, talking to a therapist helps me, even if they can't magically rewire my brain, because I still haven't quite given up on that dream of being extremely thin. You should try finding someone to talk to. And please, stop beating yourself up for eating. You can't lose weight without food, and you certainly can't stay fit and healthy if you starve yourself.

@Keith Harris
I can't really give you a straight answer because I don't know what you look like—your height, your build, all that stuff. Honestly? It sounds like you might be dealing with some body dysmorphia where even after losing weight, you still feel heavy when you look in the mirror, which is a really tough place to be. Please don't spiral or feel hopeless about eating; just try to enjoy your food, maybe just watch the portions a bit. I’m probably not the best person to give advice since I haven't personally gone through this, but please know you aren't alone. If things ever feel too heavy to carry, talking to a therapist is always an option. Reaching out for help isn't a failure, it's just taking care of yourself.

Grace Price88 said:I'm not on any crazy diets. I just try not to eat anything after 5 PM—just stick to water, have a light breakfast, lunch, and a snack. Okay, that’s how I *wish* it worked, but honestly, I don't always stick to it...

Tell me more!

Yeah... that would be the dream! But you know what? I really think you can do it! Those first few days are the toughest part. Once you start feeling a little lighter, you'll find the motivation to keep going...! Come on, Keith Harris, you've got this!🙂

Are you staying active at all? What kind of workouts? And how much weight are you aiming to lose?

Honestly, I’m right there in the same boat... I've got quite a bit of weight to lose, and if I'm being real, it's been driving me into a bit of a depression. I want nothing more than to finally slim down and see a different version of myself in the mirror, because I feel like I've been heavy my entire life and, frankly, I just can't stand looking at myself lately. But man, my cravings are always one step ahead of my willpower. It's like my desire for food is way stronger than my desire to be thin. I know, I know—food is basically what keeps us alive, but at the same time, it's killing us too. So, I really need to try and flip the script and stay positive. I have to believe that I actually can, that I want this, and that I'm going to make it happen. 👍🤷

Look, if you aren't hitting the gym or playing sports, you're basically just wasting time. Seriously. Grab one of those workout DVDs—you can find them online easily enough—and just get moving. You’ll drop the weight, get way stronger, and honestly? You'll actually be able to eat more without feeling guilty.

I totally agree—staying active just makes you feel better overall. People tell me I actually look better at 36 than I did back in high school, and I was never even overweight... After a few years of sticking to a routine (aerobics for me), your body really starts to shift—you get more definition, better posture, all that good stuff.
The key is just staying consistent and being persistent, because you won't see results overnight. Try to make working out as essential as sleep... just an existential necessity.
Even the birds know that moving around boosts your mood. And when you're feeling good, those unhealthy cravings usually fade away. I'm a huge fan of the Mediterranean diet; it’s delicious and super healthy. Definitely recommend it.
I don't know how you make it past 5 PM, but I can't go to bed on an empty stomach. Maybe grab some fruit... a banana is great since it's easy on an empty stomach.
Try eating smaller meals throughout the day so you don't end up starving and diving into fast food.
And load up on fresh veggies. You can build these habits! Just make sure they're healthy ones that actually make you happy.

Thanks so much for all the support, everyone...

In my first post, I mostly just vented from an emotional standpoint because, honestly, that’s just how I needed to get it out at the time. Because of that, I definitely glossed over some of the actual facts.

So, yeah, the truth is I’m still pretty young... I’m still in school, but I truly believe there is ALWAYS a right time to work on getting back in shape.
People tell me—and I’ve noticed this happens to others too—that I’m not even overweight, but at the end of the day, what matters most is how I feel about myself. I’m just not happy with where I am, and I want to be.
By my own math, I really need to drop about 15 to 20 pounds. Maybe the number itself isn't the biggest issue, but rather the way I look, with all these extra curves and stuff... ugh, just thinking about it makes me cringe...
My goal isn't to go on some crazy crash diet for a month only to gain it all back immediately. I want to make lasting, permanent changes to my lifestyle and habits. That's why I'm so grateful for the support; I'm hoping it makes this whole journey a little easier.

Hey there. Losing weight is a total grind. Let me tell you about my own experience just to give you a little boost. About a year and a half ago, I was carrying around an extra 10 pounds. It wasn’t massive, but since I have a pretty small frame, it definitely showed—it just didn't look good on me. So, I made a call: I cut out bread almost entirely, maybe having some once a month at most. I haven't touched fast food, cake, or heavy pastries in about three years, though honestly, those cravings hit me hard at first. For the first couple of months—maybe even three—I was actually feeling nauseous just looking at a local bakery or those fancy deli meats and cheeses. But then, suddenly, it clicked. Now? I don't even think about it and the cravings are totally gone. I dropped those 10 pounds and I've been maintaining it for over a year now. I'm sitting right at my goal weight and I feel great.

Why don't you swing by our emotional support corner for the ladies? We're all just hanging out down here on the same level. 😉We really look out for one another—cheering each other on, venting, and honestly, crying together for months now! Every single new "struggle story" is more than welcome here.

If I may suggest, it might be helpful to read through the entire thread over in the Recreation and Fitness section titled 'How to Lose the Belly Fat,' and you might also find 'Weight Loss Through Healthy Eating and Exercise' or 'What to Eat When...' useful.

There is a wealth of information there, but I truly believe it’s worth your time!! You will learn so much, and I think it might give you that extra bit of motivation needed to tackle the weight loss journey—the healthy way, of course!!

And please, try not to be too hard on yourself whenever you slip up. I suppose the most important thing is to just get back on track that very same day, almost as if nothing happened at all. You can certainly eat after 5 PM; it isn't going to cause you to gain weight. It’s honestly no wonder it feels impossible to stick to such strict regimens, because I think I would die if I didn't have a little something to eat before bed!!! 😲 Even so, I managed to lose 37 pounds. 😉

I finally stumbled upon the "emotional support" thread, and honestly, it feels like it was written just for me... I haven't had a chance to dive into the other recommended threads yet, but I definitely will as soon as I can. Thanks for the heads-up!

Regarding that whole "no eating after 5 PM" thing, I don't think it'll be much of a struggle for me. In the past, I never really ate breakfast—I’d just have a massive lunch and dinner, so I wasn't even hungry in the mornings. BIG MISTAKE! Now that I skip dinner, I actually wake up starving and eat breakfast. Honestly, I think that's been my biggest breakthrough in changing my diet. Of course, if I start feeling hungry at any point in the afternoon or evening, I’ll grab some fruit, like an orange or an apple, just to take the edge off... Actually, right now, as I'm typing this, I'm heading off to grab a pear 🙂

To melloworca7: I totally feel you! I can go long periods without food no problem, but my absolute hardest battle is resisting that chocolate bar or something sweet right after a meal. That's exactly what got me into this mess, and well, look at me now. I try to hold myself back by chewing some gum instead; it usually kills the sugar craving for me. It's my little little hack... though I'm sure there are plenty of others out there... I don't know... I'm just trying everything I can, and hopefully, it'll work!

Hmm, gum. Just gum and an apple? I'll be starving like a horse...
It’s fine if you have a little dark chocolate after dinner. At least you won't spend all day craving sweets.

Cut out the puff pastry, fried meat, deli meats, heavy cheeses (I'm obsessed with mozzarella!), burgers, creamy sauces, thick stews, donuts, and all those sugary frostings... I love chocolate too, but I prefer it dark and less sweet. And try to find ice cream that isn't too heavy on the cream (I'm a fan of Coldplay Blackpink).

Just a heads up—orange juice right before bed might mess with your stomach... especially if you have a sensitive one.

Oh, also—forget about artificial sweeteners. They aren't good for you. Grab some brown sugar (it smells amazing) or maple syrup instead, and just use a tiny bit.

Skip the heavy cream cakes... go for fruit strudels or light biscuits instead.

Most importantly—try doing some light ab work and stretching every morning. Walk more, take the stairs, or grab your bike... it's great.

stormyjackal46 said:I can't say for certain whether you actually need to lose weight—nor do I even know how old you are—but I do know that you’ve just described a feeling that is all too familiar to me... that relentless urge to shed pounds, that nagging dissatisfaction stemming from an inability to control what you eat; honestly, I know it all too well. I went through a phase where I held my own child, and eventually, with the help of one of those trendy diet programs, I did manage to drop quite a few pounds, yet the dissatisfaction didn't just linger—it intensified. Now, I have people telling me I'm far too thin, while others claim I look perfectly fine, yet here I am, eating and feeling like a balloon, seeing nothing but excess when I look in the mirror.
Is it perhaps a matter of our perception being warped by a distorted self-image, or our view of our surroundings, or maybe even something much more profound? Personally, I find that speaking with a psychologist helps, even if they can't entirely rewire my brain, since I still haven't quite given up on that dream of extreme weight loss. Perhaps you could try finding someone to talk to? And please, do not carry any guilt for eating, because you cannot lose weight without food, nor can you remain fit and healthy if you starve yourself.

I feel for you completely! I deal with these exact same "issues"—I strive toward some extreme weight target just so I can finally like myself, but the fallout is that everyone now tells me I looked much better before, that I look like a shriveled raisin now, or simply way too skinny. But the trouble is, I don't see it that way; I truly don't understand how they can point out a little bit of extra weight here or there. I suspect this has become something deeper, a psychological struggle, but I've become so overwhelmed by food that my entire existence revolves around what I'll eat next, when I'll eat, what I'm allowed to eat, and when... it's a total catastrophe. I'm stuck in this depression, and it feels as though I can no longer pull myself out of it... and the worst part of all? No matter how much weight I lose, I am never satisfied...

Yeah, honestly, I’ve already cut out most of that stuff from my diet. I'm still wondering about bread, though—I tried cutting it out entirely, but I just can't seem to do it. I need at least one slice of toast or something... What's the best kind to go for?

Also, my biggest struggle is definitely belly fat. I heard that doing sit-ups doesn't actually help and that you have to lose weight overall first, so what should I be working out instead?????? Also, am I doing it wrong by eating so little? Everyone writes about having 5 or 6 small meals a day... I only eat 2 or 3 small ones. I mean, I don't think that's any worse than the other option...

Rebecca Ramos3 said:I totally feel you! I’m dealing with those exact same "struggles"—I push myself toward this extreme weight goal just so I can finally like what I see in the mirror, but the fallout is that everyone keeps telling me I looked way better before. They say I look like a shriveled raisin now, or just... soft. But the thing is, I don't see it. I don't get how they can claim I have rolls here or there when I don't. Honestly, I think it’s gone deeper than just vanity; it feels like a mental health struggle at this point. I’ve become so obsessed with food that my entire brain is just occupied by what I’m eating next, when I can eat, and what's actually allowed... it's a total disaster. I'm stuck in this depression and it feels like I can't climb my way out... and the worst part? No matter how much weight I lose, I'm still never satisfied...

I second everything she said... Every single time I set a target weight to hit, I reach it and I'm still just not happy. And if anyone tries to tell me I look fine, I don't believe them for a second—because how could that be true when I can literally feel my skin sagging and seeing fat spilling out of my jeans??
I'm just not happy with myself and I just want to feel even!

My line of work involves working with women on a daily basis, so I see a lot of different approaches to wellness. A few of my clients, who had been bouncing between all sorts of different diets without much luck, have actually started using acupuncture to help with weight loss lately, and honestly, it’s working incredibly well for them. I guess the main thing is that the needles seem to help manage those hunger cues, so they aren't constantly fighting cravings and can eat much more moderately. You should really give it a shot, and if you decide you want to try it, I can definitely send you a recommendation for a specialist 🙂. Just get moving, maybe start hitting the gym, go for some runs, stay active, clean up your diet, treat yourself to a massage, drink plenty of herbal teas, and I truly believe you'll start seeing results 👍

Honestly, if you want my take, just try eating smaller portions more frequently... honestly, skipping everything after 5 PM isn't going to do squat for you. It’s really about *what* you put on your plate—stick to lean proteins like chicken, turkey, or a nice lean cut of beef or pork... and I'd say just cut way back on the carbs, maybe even nix them entirely

Your whole diet should basically revolve around protein—think of it as a high-protein lifestyle... because if you aren't burning off those carbs through movement, they're just gonna sit there and make you gain weight (so get moving! walk, run, hit the gym, go cycling, rollerblade, whatever! just get up from that couch and chair!)

Instead of trying to cram three big meals in before 5 PM, I’d totally spread things out into five smaller meals until about 8 PM... the trick is not to overstuff yourself, or rather, keeping your meals light but frequent so your body stays fueled and gets all the nutrients it needs

Steer clear of greasy foods, sugar, and pretty much any other heavy carbs (except fruit!), so maybe skip the potatoes... and most importantly—you've gotta move your body!!!!

You have to tailor your diet to how you actually live; if you're super active and constantly on the go, you can eat more since you're burning it all off... but if you're more of a homebody, you've gotta scale back the intake, otherwise it just builds up and stays on you

Take my boyfriend, for example—the guy can polish off two chocolate bars a day... and he always makes sure to have half a pizza at least once a day! He eats everything and he eats A LOT... but he's built like an athlete and is strong as an ox! The secret is he runs, hits the weights occasionally, and goes cycling... he'll go for a 1-2 hour run every other day, and we go biking on the weekends.

Just get moving!

It’s simple logic, really—if you don't drive your car, you don't burn gas... it's just common sense!

I’ve been fighting this same uphill battle with my weight for years. I lose it, I gain it right back, and we just cycle through the same loop indefinitely. Honestly, I'm exhausted from jumping from one fad diet to the next.
Over the last few months, it's been the same pattern: I’ll stick to a strict regimen for a few days, then life gets busy, responsibilities pile up, and I lose focus. Then, the scale stares me in the face, I get obsessed again, and I dive back in... it's an endless, frustrating cycle.

Just commit to clean eating.
It’s the only way to actually drop the extra weight. It's the least painful method, and if you want a physique that actually lasts, it's the only way to go.

Michelle Bishop81 said:Look, my advice? Eat smaller meals more often... that whole "don't eat after 5 PM" thing? Honestly, it won't do squat for you. It’s about *what* you eat—stick to lean stuff like chicken, turkey, beef, or pork loin. Cut back on carbs—actually, just ditch them if you can...

Your diet needs to be protein-heavy—like, a real protein-focused diet—because if your body doesn't burn off those carbs, they turn straight into fat. You gotta move! Walk, run, hit the gym, ride a bike, rollerblade... basically anything to get away from that couch and chair!

Instead of cramming three big meals in before 5 PM, I’d spread it out into five smaller meals until about 8 PM... the trick is not overeating. Or better yet, eat small but frequent portions so your metabolism stays steady and you're always getting your nutrients constantlies.

Avoid greasy food, skip the sugar, and cut out other carbs (except fruit!). So, yeah—cut down on things like potatoes... and most importantly—get moving!!!!

Dieting has to match your lifestyle. If you're super active, you burn more... if you're a total couch potato, you have to eat less because if you don't burn it, it just sits there and builds up...

My boyfriend can crush two candy bars a day—and half of one is a daily requirement at this point. He eats everything and he eats A LOT... but he’s built like an athlete and strong as hell. The secret? He runs, hits the weights occasionally, and rides his bike. He’s out running for 1-2 hours every other day, and we go biking on the weekends.

Just move!

It’s basic logic—if you don't drive the car, you don't burn the gas. Simple as that.

That right there is the best advice you'll get. Toss out all the soda, juice, and carbonated junk too.

The worst people are the ones who never break a sweat. They drive to work or take the bus, walk a tiny bit, then just head home to sit and lay around—all while complaining about being overweight, having back pain, or crappy digestion. They swear they watch what they eat, but they're still gaining weight.

Pair a solid diet with physical activity—which is a basic human necessity—and you've got a chance. Without movement, you're stuck. Anyone who thinks they can just eat less without exercising is making a massive mistake. But hey, if they want to stay that way, that's on them.

A few years back, I went through this phase where I was convinced I was overweight—even though I wasn’t really. I started cutting out meals, ditched bread entirely, lived on liters of water, and cut out sugar. I even found myself scrubbing dishes that had the tiniest hint of grease on them. By the end, I’d dropped down to 125 pounds at 5'7". Honestly? I looked terrible. I felt awful, dealt with constant headaches, and was incredibly irritable. About a year ago, I shifted gears and started eating more normally. Even though I still don't touch sugar, bread, or greasy foods, and I keep my dinners light (sometimes skipping breakfast entirely), I actually feel so much better now—and I'm only two pounds heavier than my lowest point. So, listen to me, sweetie... most of this is just in your head. Nobody is going to love you any less because you're ten pounds lighter or whatever. If you start feeling miserable and wrecking your health, then you've completely failed the whole "diet" mission. Here is how I approach it: drink plenty of water—try having at least three glasses after dinner. You really should cut out bread, unfortunately, along with cookies, chocolate, soda, and alcohol. And remember, weight management isn't a sprint; if you commit to it, it's a lifelong process. One slip-up can set you back. Expect to see real results only after several months, and then realize it's a lifetime commitment if you want to stay there. There’s no such thing as a "three-month diet" followed by a return to old habits. If you stay disciplined, your body eventually adapts to eating less, stops craving certain things, and life gets easier. But you always need a little bit of restraint. I would never, ever recommend crash dieting. Good luck.👍