Sex and intimacy: Let's talk.

Hey ladies. I’ve got a question that’s been weighing on my mind big time. So, about two years ago, I had my last sexual encounter, and during that time, I was experiencing some bleeding—it happened a few times. But there's another issue too: I just can't seem to relax during sex. I end up tensing up constantly, I'm totally wound tight, and I honestly can't reach an orgasm at all. I used to lie to my boyfriend and tell him I’d finished, but does he actually have a way of knowing if I really did or not? It's been two years since I've been with anyone, and nothing has changed. Help... what do you think the deal is here?

1. A close friend of mine dealt with some spotting during the early stages too, and then it just cleared up on its own. That said, if this is happening consistently, you really ought to go see an OB-GYN to be safe.
2. Hmm... I honestly can't tell how much you actually cared about this guy or how badly you wanted this to work out. I don't quite grasp why you're getting so worked up over it if he truly is the right person for you.
3. Well, in principle, there isn't a way to know for certain, but... someone with more experience might be able to pick up on those cues.

Laura Mendoza said:1. A close friend of mine dealt with some spotting a few times right at the start, and then it just cleared up on its own. Still, if it keeps happening, you should probably just go see a doctor to be safe.
2. Hmm... I'm not sure how much you actually cared about this guy or how badly you wanted this to happen, because honestly, why are you stressing out so much if he's the right one for you?
3. Well, you can't really know for sure, but... I guess someone with more experience might be able to tell...

So, looking back, I had two partners before and I definitely noticed bleeding during those times. Now? I have no clue since I haven't been with anyone in three years. And regarding the sex part, maybe it’s just some underlying fear of getting pregnant. That's pretty much what's on my mind. I don't know... next time things get intimate, I'll try my best not to overthink it. Maybe it'll actually work...

Hannah Bishop said:I experienced bleeding during my previous two sexual encounters, but since I haven't had a partner in three years, I can't say for sure what's happening now. Regarding the intimacy itself, it might be an underlying fear of pregnancy. It’s constantly on my mind. Next time I am with someone, I will try to push those thoughts aside... maybe that will actually work.

Regarding the bleeding, you really ought to bring that up with your doctor; it isn't exactly standard. As for the other issue—yes, you absolutely need to be completely relaxed and use reliable protection. If you do that, you won't be preoccupied with the risk of pregnancy and can just focus on the pleasure instead.🙂

I don't think it's actually a fear of pregnancy. It sounds more like you might just be super sensitive... kind of like how I am. Plus, if you can't find a way to relax, your muscles just tense up, which makes penetration either impossible or incredibly painful. Honestly, I think it’s mostly mental. You've got to learn to let go. For me, it always hurts a bit at first, but once things get moving, it settles down.

Sandra Reyes said:I honestly don't think it's about being scared of getting pregnant; maybe you're just super sensitive... kind of like how I am. Plus, if you can't really relax, your muscles might tense up during sex, making it hard or even impossible for things to work, which obviously hurts like crazy. I truly believe it’s mostly mental... you just have to find a way to unwind. For me, it usually stings a bit at the start, but then it settles down.

Hey there. Everything seems fine regarding sex, except for the fact that I’ve dealt with some bleeding before, and sometimes I feel this stinging sensation after we're done. Maybe I just haven't figured out how to properly relax yet? We'll see if it happens again once I meet the right guy.

Hannah Bishop said:Hey. Everything is fine regarding my relationships, except that I used to experience bleeding, and I’d get this stinging sensation after sex during my period... maybe I just don't know how to relax properly. We'll see if it happens again when I find the right guy.

That stinging is normal; it happens to me too. Don't worry about it.😍