Chatting with our doctor

Gerald Kern77 said:To just break through all those fears...

Good luck!

Man, I really needed to hear that. 🙂

I was just kinda stressing about how much bed rest I'd have to deal with, because honestly, if I can't get out of bed for more than two days, I'll totally lose my mind. 🙄

Thanks so much. 👍

Woman from Rijeka, seriously, thank you, thank you so much. 🙂

I feel like such a liar now, though, because my doctor told me straight up it was a tumor, and then turns out it was just a cyst. 🙄

Jose Miller3 said:well, we definitely hate him...

I suppose I have to say something—and I truly loathe criticizing doctors, though there are certainly parasites among them—but what do you make of a gynecologist who refers a patient to a psychiatrist (claiming she’s "making up symptoms"), only for that same patient to undergo surgery for Stage III ovarian cancer three months later?

Should I just take a baseball bat to her?

PS: My phase of acute hatred toward this doctor has passed, but I still wish there were a way to ensure she never gets near another sick woman. Sadly, I know there isn't...

You can prevent it... if she signed off on the findings, everything should be made public. Sue her—ensure fewer women have to rely on her diagnostic skills.

The Woman from Rijeka already mentioned it—ovarian cancer is incredibly insidious. It isn't easy for doctors to decide—the first one to see my complex cyst (who identified it to the pathologist as a luteal cyst—fine, but you can't truly know before surgery) concluded it was best to remove both ovaries just to be safe.😕 Naturally, I sought a second opinion—that doctor was cautious yet sensible—and decided that if it was just a cyst and not cancer, removing the second ovary would be foolish, even though I'm over 40. A third doctor suggested we could wait, but given everything I'd read online about ovarian cancer, that option didn't sit well with me at all. So, I decided to get rid of the cyst (along with its ovary, unfortunately), but fortunately, the other one is still working.😉

As for ovarian cancer, I've heard plenty of horror stories—an acquaintance of mine, a nurse in a OB/GYN clinic, insisted for months that something was wrong. Her doctor sent her for ultrasounds several times, claiming everything was fine and she was likely just approaching menopause, so she dismissed it... She passed away from ovarian cancer in less than a year.

That is exactly why I didn't want to wait and see what that nasty cyst might turn into...

Look, I don't claim to be God, and I definitely don't give myself the luxury of being arrogant. I see so many patients who just *know* their own bodies—they can feel when something is off way before any high-tech diagnostic test or lab result can actually prove it.
That’s why I never allow myself the luxury of telling a patient, "You're fine, just go see a psychiatrist." Some people fall into those obsessive patterns I mentioned earlier, and in those cases, I usually suggest they seek out mental health support while also scheduling follow-up tests in two, three, or six months just to be safe.
Unfortunately, just like in any other field, there are people in medicine who went through med school just for the title or because they crave that (fake) sense of power—power that patients often feed into because they’re too intimidated to push back. But personally, I don't see it as "pushing back." If I don't like how a cashier at my local grocery store slices my deli meat, I just turn around and walk out to a different shop without making a scene.
Patients should be able to do the exact same thing by seeking a second opinion, without all the unnecessary drama. It isn't always easy for them, though; not everyone has access to the same level of education, and not everyone is tech-savvy enough to spend hours Googling symptoms. A lot of people end up just wandering around in a fog of uncertainty...
Let's hope things get better one day.😍

To Susan Martin24 - I clearly hit the jackpot with my family doctor, who actually listens to her patients... though I get the sense female doctors tend to be more attentive in general. Unfortunately, some male physicians still have this unfortunate habit of dismissing any ailment in a woman as mere hysteria.😕 A former high school classmate of mine, who happens to be a physician herself, suffered from debilitating headaches—only to be met with pitying looks from her colleagues, who whispered about her being "unstable" after performing nothing more than cursory exams. You can imagine how isolating that was, and just how much it pushed her to the edge—she told me that when they finally discovered a brain tumor months later, her first thought was, "Thank Bog, I'm not crazy."😕 It had a happy ending, eventually, but she likely would have avoided so much suffering if she’d just found a female colleague willing to believe her from the start!

A few people have already touched on pain management up above, mostly when we're talking about patients in the final stages of an illness....

The struggle these folks face isn't anything new, and honestly, it’s pretty heartbreaking that we still don't have a systematic way to care for them through a dedicated network of outpatient hospices or specialized pain management wards within our hospital systems. Around here, any real progress usually only happens because a handful of driven doctors or groups like the Hospice Friends Association step up and take the initiative. It feels like the Department of Health doesn't even have it on their radar because they're too busy juggling a million other "more important" things. At least, that's how it looks from where I'm sitting.
The folks really making a dent in this field are the doctors working with the Hospice Friends Association. Most of them are neurologists or anesthesiologists, though you get specialists from all over. But man, they’re basically fighting windmills; current hospital budgets wouldn't support opening a dedicated unit where pain could be treated as its own specific thing using a mix of different therapies, even if it made total sense.
What we actually have right now are mostly outpatient pain clinics that handle pain regardless of what's causing it. It’s nowhere near enough, but it's what's available. I think nowadays, almost every major hospital—even just your standard clinical centers—has one of these clinics, usually tucked away under the neurology or anesthesiology departments.

Depending on a bunch of factors and based on a specialist's evaluation, pain is handled in several different ways. Beyond just meds, there's a whole toolkit of non-pharmacological methods out there.
When it comes to chronic pain medication, besides your standard pills or capsules, you often see those "patches," specifically Duragesic patches. They contain Fentanyl, which is a fantastic narcotic analgesic that gets absorbed slowly through the skin once the patch is applied. There are different types of Duragesic depending on how much medicine you need.
As for more invasive ways to tackle chronic or terminal pain, over the last few years, we've finally seen the spread of managing pain through narcotics delivered via a peridural catheter—what's known as a PCA pump. PCA stands for Patient Controlled Analgesia. Basically... a peridural catheter is placed (in the spine) and then hooked up to a PCA system, which is just a specific cocktail of analgesics delivered through the PCA pump. The doctor programs the pump to a specific dose and locks everything down so nobody can mess with the controls. Since the whole setup is tiny, you can easily carry it around in a pocket without anyone noticing. The best part is that when a patient feels the pain creeping up, they can just hit a single button to give themselves a bolus of the analgesic a few times a day, depending on how the doctor set the pump.

On the non-drug side of things, people frequently use acupuncture (either with needles or laser stimulation), TENS therapy with electrodes (what most people just call "the electric thing"), magnet therapy, specific ultrasound therapies for pain, and so on and so forth....

It’s such a shame that people don't even realize there are places where they can get some relief—maybe not a total cure, but enough to actually function normally in society and with their families. So, if anyone is dealing with chronic pain from any source, they should definitely look into these outpatient clinics. Who knows, it might actually make life feel worth living again.

@Scott Allen10/">@@Scott Allen10,

I’m speaking for many people here—people who likely don't know what you're talking about or haven't lived through it themselves.
As far as I can remember, I've covered all of this extensively in my own threads.
Take the Fentanyl patch, for example. In the US, that's strictly reserved for cancer patients; you can't just get it for chronic pain management.
As you might have noticed, I actually have a dedicated thread regarding
Intrathecal Morphine Pain Pumps!

A lot of us—myself included—cycle through every specialized pain clinic available. These places are highly specialized, but honestly, the success rate is only about 30%. However, most people walk away with at least some relief, ranging from minor pain control to a better understanding of their condition. Many attend intensive programs where they spend eight hours a day for three months learning how to navigate society and family life. Living with chronic illness isn't just physical pain; the psychological toll is massive.

Like you've probably realized, "I am one of the informed ones." Once a diagnosis hits, I make it my mission to research every possible treatment and seek out honest feedback—both from those who found relief and those who didn't.
I've tried everything from natural remedies and Eastern medicine to TENS units. Unfortunately, depending on the specific condition, it's never an easy road.

It’s always a pleasure to read your posts. There are quite a few of you here, and I truly value your perspectives. It shows there are trained professionals out there who are also genuinely good people, contributing more than 100% to this community, regardless of where in the world they practice.

Best regards,

🙂

Susan Martin24 said:I don't consider myself God, and I certainly don't allow myself the luxury of being arrogant. There are plenty of patients who know their own bodies incredibly well—they can feel when something is wrong long before any exact diagnostic method can show or prove it.
That's why I don't give myself the luxury of telling a patient, "There's nothing wrong with you, just go see a psychiatrist." Some patients fall into those obsessive patterns mentioned above, so I usually recommend they seek psychiatric help while also suggesting they repeat their tests in 2, 3, or 6 months—or however long it takes.
Unfortunately, just like in any other profession, there are those in medicine who finished school just for the title or for that false sense of power that patients grant them because they don't want to cause trouble. Personally, I don't believe in causing trouble—if I don't like how a cashier slices my deli meat, I just turn around and go to a different shop without a fight.
Patients should do the same and seek a second opinion without making a huge drama out of it. It isn't easy for patients either; not everyone is highly educated, not everyone uses the internet or knows how to Google things properly, so they often wander around in a fog...
Let's hope things get better one day. 😍

The post above says it all... is there really anything left to add?
If doctors, surgeons, and all other medical branches lived by those principles, life would be much easier for everyone... it all comes down to "communication" between the doctor and the patient.
It is also the patient's duty not to expect a "miracle from God"... and most importantly, not to wait until the last minute, but to have regular checkups according to their schedule and age.

How many men actually do this? Very few. If they acted in time, they could have prevented strokes or heart issues... not to mention other diseases.

On the other hand, women/the more sensitive gender tend to visit doctors more often due to various issues...
Do patients realize that just as many men die from prostate cancer as women do from breast cancer?

In short, I've dealt with many doctors and specialists... and I can tell you there's a 30-40% lack of "communication." It's not that they aren't great specialists... it's just that sometimes a patient who isn't briefed on what's happening leaves the visit feeling even more confused. My advice has always been: when it's serious, always seek 2 or 3 different opinions... and never trust a specialist or doctor who tells you, "It's easy, no problem." Any surgery involving anesthesia carries risks...

Man, I rambled... what I mean to say is that it's nice to see someone like the Woman from Rijeka /doctor/surgeon, excuse me🙂 ...someone who is open, says what they think, and does it in a way that always makes me smile, "even if the situation might not be funny."

Furthermore, doctors are fighting against the system and a lack of funding. I've personally criticized how long people have to wait for an appointment in the US.

My message to other doctors is: "Put yourselves in the patient's shoes." Communicate better, and as long as you try your absolute best, your conscience will be clear.

May the years bring us more doctors/specialists like the Woman from Rijeka worldwide.
Illness is easier to bear if you have a good doctor... and it's just as much easier for the doctor if they have a satisfied patient.
And I love her signature.👍 😎

😍 🙂

Susan Martin24, do you know anything about those palatal plates they "implant" into the roof of the mouth? (I'm not sure if that counts as an 😕 )
I can't find a thing online—it seems like a fairly recent development, probably 😕

Justin Gonzalez87 said:Hey, do you know anything about those palatal plates they "implant" into the roof of the mouth? (I'm not even sure if it's technically an implant 😕 )
I can't find a single thing about it online. It seems pretty new, maybe 😕

So, what's the actual purpose behind them?
From what I understand about palatal plates—and mind you, this isn't my specialty, more along the lines of maxillofacial surgery—they've been used for ages to treat cleft palates. Usually, that's part of correcting congenital issues like a cleft lip and palate combo. They also use them to fix jaw alignment issues, like when someone has a really narrow or high palate (what people sometimes call a "high arched" palate).
Are you thinking of something else entirely, or is there some other specific use for these plates that you've heard about?

Jose Miller3 said:oh, we absolutely despise him...

Look, I just have to get this off my chest (and I swear I hate badmouthing doctors—I know there are parasites in the profession, but sometimes you just have to call it like it is): what do you guys think about an OBGYN who refers a patient to a psychiatrist because she thinks the patient is "making up symptoms," only for that same patient to end up having surgery three months later for Stage III ovarian cancer?

Should I just go hit her with a baseball bat or something?

PS: I’ve moved past the phase of pure, unadulterated hatred toward this doctor, but man, I really wish there was a way to make sure she never gets anywhere near another sick woman. Sadly, I know there isn't...

Alright, so who actually diagnosed the ovarian cancer if she sent the lady to a psychiatrist? I'm guessing it wasn't the psychiatrist. 😁

And why would you hate someone, even a doctor who messed up a diagnosis? I run into colleagues every single day who get diagnoses wrong, but I don't hate them—God forbid—I just think they have no clue what they're doing. Luckily, there are some out there who actually know their stuff.

And by the way, why shouldn't a doctor be allowed to make a mistake? They aren't all-powerful, thank God. I bet even you, being a chemist or whatever you are, mess up plenty of times too.

........

Shout out to my doctors, Susan Martin24 and Scott Allen10 👍

Susan Martin24, I think Alien is totally awesome 😁 and btw, that story about switching from abdominal to plastic surgery is great. 😁

Susan Martin24 said:Are you aware of any other uses for palatal plates?

They're used for kids with speech impediments—the idea is they use their tongue to "push" against the plate, which is actually quite annoying for them—so it acts as a way to exercise the tongue and keep it positioned lower in the mouth, rather than up high, for instance.
Who should I consult about this? 😢 A speech therapist?

mistyhound2 said:Okay, so who actually diagnosed her with ovarian cancer if this lady just sent her straight to a psychiatrist? I’m guessing it wasn't a psychiatrist. 😁

And why would you even hate someone, even if they were the doctor who messed up the diagnosis? I run into colleagues every single day who get diagnoses wrong, but I don't hate them—God forbid—I just think they have no clue. Luckily, there are also those who actually know what they're doing.

And btw, why shouldn't a doctor make mistakes? They aren't all-powerful (thank goodness). I bet even you, being a chemist or whatever you are, mess up more than a little...

Let's take these questions one by one:

Nobody diagnosed it. Through some connections, she eventually ended up in the gastro ward after the cancer had already spread through half her intestines, so they started surgery and then called in some gynecologists to help finish the job.

Why would I hate someone who gave a wrong diagnosis? Well, because it's just human nature to try and rationalize things when you lose important people in your life—unless you're religious, in which case you say Bog took her and Bog gave her. If that doctor had just done her job (which should have included running a CA125 blood test, assuming a color Doppler was too expensive for her), or at least said, "Ma'am, please see someone else because you're wasting my time," maybe my mom would still be alive today. On the other hand, maybe she would've beaten the ovarian cancer only to get hit by a truck a year later, and we'd be right back where we started anyway.

You seem to think my feelings toward this "doctor" should be different (btw, I did say I'm past the hating phase, but I still wouldn't exactly jump at the chance to chat with her).

As for mistakes: yeah, doctors make them. We'd all love to believe they don't, but unfortunately, just like any other job, they're part of daily life. I chose to be a chemist; you chose to be a doctor. One reason I decided NOT to go to med school—which my aforementioned mother was really pushing 😁—was the fact that I couldn't handle facing people whose lives were ruined because of MY mistake.

When I mess up, my supervisor yells at me and everyone moves on.

When you mess up, someone dies.

You doctors are the ones who have to live with that responsibility. So don't act surprised when the deceased's family hates you.

PS: I have nothing against you, mistyhound2. Or against dozens of other doctors who truly proved themselves to be decent humans and experts during the days we spent visiting the hospital constantly trying to make their final days easier. The same goes for many nurses and others we met. That's exactly why I emphasize in every post that I have a very positive view of doctors in general, because the number of people I've had bad experiences with is way smaller than the rest.

I see everyone else is deep in some heavy-duty discussions, but I just have to jump in here with something that might seem trivial to you all, even if it’s driving me nuts.
I absolutely cannot stand our family 🙂 doctor; honestly, every single time I go to her, regardless of what's actually wrong—usually it's just my tonsils acting up or this killer ear pain—she just tosses me some Augmentin and those generic drops for ears, eyes, or nose, can't even remember the name right now, and sends me packing. And it’s not just me, either; I’ve seen her do the exact same thing to my sister and my dad, even when Dad was dealing with stuff way more intense than my ear issues, like that whole mess with the dizziness, the ringing, the vomiting, and being totally disoriented (which turned out to be Meniere's disease, if I remember correctly).
My mom works over at the maternity ward, and she’s told me constantly how much those women complain about her, and honestly, I’ve got plenty of evidence to back up why I find this lady so obnoxious.
Then there’s my grandma, who just had uterine surgery, and my grandpa, who’s been struggling with fluid retention and blood pressure issues; so, Grandma gets home after spending a week in the hospital, and this doctor comes by for rounds, and Grandma, being her sweet self, tries to offer her a carton of farm-fresh eggs—she wouldn't listen to me when I told her not to because it looks like bribery, but you know how she is...—and then the doctor has the nerve to say she won't even perform an exam, won't check her lungs, won't even take her blood pressure, because she "just came by to see how they were doing." ☕
😠 If I had my way, I would have slapped her right then and there!!! 🙂 😈

:wait: alright, finally getting to the point: How on earth would I go about grabbing my medical records and finding myself a brand new doctor?

P.S. Sending love from the area around the Woman from Rijeka!

coastalfalcon13, it’s actually pretty straightforward 😍
First thing you gotta do is track down a doctor who actually has openings and is taking on new patients—honestly, I don't think you'll have much trouble finding someone.
Once you've got that settled, just head over to your current clinic and sign a release form stating you want your medical records transferred to the new provider, and that's basically it...
Now, look... I'm not entirely sure if they allow this year-round. I seem to remember there being some sort of "transition period" once in a while, maybe around the start of the year, where you could just grab your files and head over to a different office. I also can't recall if you need to pick up the paperwork yourself or if they just mail it over directly.
Either way, it's your right as a patient, so definitely go for it 🙂

Switching doctors has become so much easier lately!

All you really have to do is visit a new provider, chat about transferring your care, and then let them notify your insurance
You don't even need to give your old doctor a heads-up—they'll just be a little surprised when they see the update!
Honestly, you can switch anytime you want; it’s entirely up to you.

Look, I’ve always had a bit of an aversion to the whole medical profession, so I’m really at a loss here. My current strategy involves trying to mitigate the situation through aggressive self-medication via chocolate—in just about every form imaginable. Does anyone have any actual good ideas on how to help myself?