Dealing with depression

stormyheron98 said:Sounds like you’re dealing with depression paired with some pretty intense anxiety. I went through the exact same thing when I was about 16. It wasn't even officially diagnosed until I was in my twenties, mostly because when doctors see a moody teenager, they assume it’s just "growing pains" or whatever, rather than actual depression. From what I’ve seen, a lot of doctors just don't get it. They think it’s just being in a bad mood and you should just "snap out of it." Some of them straight-up can't recognize it. Even some psychiatrists miss the mark. Depression hits deep—it's like someone turned down the volume knob on your brain and suddenly your capacity for everything drops by like 70%. Every emotion just shifts into the negative zone. And it doesn't need a "reason," which was my case too. In some places they call it essential depression, but here in the US, people usually just call it clinical depression. I started feeling exactly like you described around 16. I struggled for a long time, but once I finally got on medication, things got better. The catch is that antidepressants aren't one-size-fits-all. I had to cycle through four or five different kinds before I found the one that actually worked for me. Even with meds, I never quite get back to 100% of how I was before; I'm more like an 80% version of myself. Some people respond better to them than I did. My advice? Don't obsess over why it started or why it's happening to you. Just find a good psychiatrist ASAP and talk about starting antidepressants. Depression is a medical condition, plain and simple. Just like someone might have diabetes because their pancreas isn't doing its job, some people have depression because a tiny part of their brain isn't firing correctly. There’s no such thing as a "perfect" antidepressant; they all have varying side effects, so you might have to trial a few. Also, contrary to what people say, antidepressants aren't addictive. Don't let that scare you. Benzodiazepines (like Xanax) are a totally different beast and *those* are the ones that cause dependency. Hang in there. If your doctor isn't listening or doesn't seem to get you, walk out and find another one. There are plenty of specialists out there now, including private practices, so there's no reason to suffer under someone who doesn't understand what you're going through.

The internet is basically a massive, messy dumping ground of info, but if you want to start somewhere, maybe try this little quiz:
http://psychcentral.com/depquiz.htm

There’s also this thing called the Hamilton Scale, but honestly? It’s pretty outdated. Some of the questions are just... off. Like, they focus way too much on insomnia, totally ignoring the fact that some people—myself included, if we're being real—actually sleep way too much when they're depressed. Makes sense, right?
http://www.real-depression-help.com/...ion-scale.html

analogpuma0 said:Well, I suppose there are options, but when things get as heavy as they are for me right now, I honestly don't care whether it’s botanical or some lab-made concoction... I just want to recover and feel okay again... to live a normal life... even if that means relying on medication for the rest of my days... I think the first step is realizing there's absolutely no shame in taking antidepressants or seeing a psychiatrist... I haven't quite fully embraced that myself yet, but one day I will... my best advice would be to go see a doctor and have an honest conversation with them... if you truly believe something herbal might be enough, maybe ask them about St. John's Wort.😉

Hannah Cox16 said:There’s something about the idea of just sitting in a field of grass that sounds incredibly soothing, isn't there? It’s a lovely thought, but I certainly don't envy your schedule. Pulling ten or twelve-hour shifts every single day is exhausting, and when you're running on empty like that, you really do need to be able to stay sharp and functional throughout the daylight hours. Regarding your question about medication: antidepressants aren't something you can just pick up off a shelf at a drugstore like you would with some Aspirin. In the US, these are strictly prescription-only medications. You'll need to sit down with a doctor or a healthcare provider first; they'll evaluate what you're going through and, if they decide it's the right path, they'll write a prescription that you can then take to your local pharmacy. It's all very regulated to ensure everyone stays safe. Hang in there—taking care of your mental health is just as important as managing those long workdays.

George Clark19 said:Based on everything you guys are saying here, it makes it sound like I’ve spent my entire life running on empty—like, totally deficient in iron and B vitamins—and that's the whole reason I'm dealing with this depression. I mean, I guess I could say it helps lift the fog, but can I actually say it's the root cause of the whole mess? Or am I just overthinking things?

analogpuma0 said:How old are you now, and how are you holding up? You wrote that so beautifully, telling me to grit my teeth... honestly, I’d rather just break. I feel like I’m clenching them for the second time in my life... it's just awful. It is so incredibly hard.

Hannah Cox16 said:What kind of meds are we talking about? Is there anything out there that isn't strictly chemical—maybe something plant-based that won't leave you hooked?

analogpuma0 said:I don't think I quite follow your logic... are you suggesting you're depressed simply because of an iron deficiency? I mean, I certainly know that low iron causes exhaustion, which was my first red flag—it just slowly dragged me down into this deepening sense of despair. You sleep and sleep, yet you never actually feel rested, and eventually, that irritability starts to creep in too. I remember going to see my doctor to have my iron levels checked, but everything came back perfectly normal...

George Clark19 said:So, based on what people have been saying on here—if you’re feeling depressed, exhausted, and super cranky, could that all just be down to iron or vitamin deficiencies?😕
Is it actually possible to spiral into full-blown depression just from that? Like, it starts as being tired, then you get irritable, and then it all just snowballs and feeds into itself?
I gotta say, the meds I was on (Prozac, Wellbutrin) didn't do squat for me. I ended up quitting them cold turkey and didn't really deal with any issues.
The depression usually hits me hardest in the winter—it'd last from maybe October until February before things started looking up again. This year was actually pretty decent through the winter, though, but now that we're hitting March, it's starting to creep back in. Only difference is this time I'm not letting myself sink into that total lethargy; I'm getting out, studying, stuff like that. Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if it's even actual depression or if it's just finally facing whatever reality is left over.
P.S.—I wouldn't say it's ever been *quite* as catastrophic as what some other people go through, but it's definitely enough to freak me out and make me feel paralyzed about life.

stormyheron98 said:I'm 40 now. Been living with depression for 24 years. Something actually good happened that I wasn't expecting—I ended up Googling 😁. Even when I'm off meds, it never gets as bad as it did back when I was 16 or 20, mostly because now I actually know what's going on and can look at things rationally. I've read dozens of stories from people just like me, and it's pretty interesting to realize that people in countries all the way across from 3108 miles deal with the exact same symptoms and face the same damn dilemmas. I'm not on anything right now since I'm getting ready to start a new medication. When I'm unmedicated, I can't really control stuff like my energy levels, sleep, or how exhausted I feel, but I can manage my emotions pretty well. Sure, it's a struggle to force myself to do basic chores that shouldn't even be an issue. My twenty-five years of experience tells me that depression is a nasty piece of work, but there's no need to make it some mystical thing—you just have to treat it like any other illness, find the med that works for you, and move on with your life.

analogpuma0 said:It’s strange how we talk about depression like it’s this curable ailment... but how does one actually live with it for twenty-four years? Is it really impossible to stay on therapy for, say, five years, then gradually taper off and just move forward with a normal life without meds? I mean, it might be possible...👍 All I know is that ever since I started my Zoloft, I’ve felt completely numb. It’s as if I need something truly devastating to happen—something to actually wound me or make me angry—just to feel a flicker of something, maybe a hint of nerves or tension. And honestly, I really felt the weight of that nervous energy two years ago when I was in the middle of a particularly brutal depressive episode... and even today, I just can't stand that sensation. I don't mind being spirited or even a bit temperamental, but I absolutely cannot deal with feeling anxious or jittery... because that anxiety just makes everything worse, and before you know it, your libido just disappears entirely... god, it's exhausting.🙂

stormyheron98 said:For most people, depression actually goes away. I just happened to land in that tiny minority that’s stuck in a constant loop of it. No matter how many books they write about depression, the actual biochemistry behind it is still pretty much a black box. After dealing with this for 24 years, I've realized there are probably a million different causes, which is why everyone's symptoms are all over the place—and why one person thrives on a med while someone else gets nothing from it. I remember reading one of those early articles about Prozac where a psychiatrist basically said: "To be honest, we don't even know if a serotonin deficiency is the cause or just a symptom, but Prozac bumps up the serotonin levels and that seems to work."

analogpuma0 said:And my Zoloft 🙂 really does work... and this time, I don't think I'll be in any rush to stop my treatment; I'll take it for as long as it takes. I was on it for a year and a half before some life stressors hit—right after I finished my course—and everything started sliding back into place... 😢 whether I'm just imagining things or not, I suspect it's likely, but I restarted my medication immediately, and things seem relatively okay now. 🙂

Drew Alvarez56 said:Cheers - analogpuma0, stormyheron98

I've been on Prozac for three months, feeling better, no panic attacks... just a little bit of occasional anxiety left... you guys actually threw me off a bit regarding how long you should stay on these things.... I was planning to stick with it until month ten and then taper off slowly.....
But damn, if all that stuff can actually come back... because I was in a really dark place (panic, fears, anxiety, high blood pressure, neck pain... eventually I didn't even dare leave my house... and before that, I was a strong guy, always handled everything myself)... my wife left me and took the kids a year ago, and by early February, those symptoms started hitting me... I'm 40...
How much longer should one take antidepressants (once a person is functioning normally again)..
Best regards

Robert Nelson12 said:I suppose I'm in the exact same boat...
I'm constantly on edge—and I mean literally. Every little thing grates on my nerves. I have no energy, and absolutely no willpower to get started on anything. I've been neglecting my husband and my friends; the only thing I really try for is spending time with my child, since she's pretty much the only thing keeping me together right now. I have no desire to socialize; I just want to be alone and have some peace. It feels like I'm carrying this massive weight on my shoulders, even though there isn't any obvious reason for it. It's as if I've just stalled out in one spot and I have no idea how to start moving again... I just don't know...

analogpuma0 said:Well, to get any kind of antidepressant, you're going to need a referral to a psychiatrist first, and they'll be the ones to decide which specific medication might work best for you... I suppose. About two years ago, I went through a really heavy bout of depression myself. I was on Zoloft and Helix back then, and honestly, it turned me into someone I didn't quite recognize. I ended up stopping the meds, though looking back, it seems like I probably quit far too early, because the depression eventually caught up with me again. I just couldn't seem to handle the constant daily stress that's been hitting me over the last couple of months. So, about a month ago, I started back on Zoloft... and I can genuinely feel that, combined with my own efforts, things are getting a little better every day. I think I'm starting to see the point in things again...🙂 Good luck!

analogpuma0 said:Well, to get any kind of antidepressant, you're going to need a referral to a psychiatrist first, and they'll be the ones to decide which specific medication might work best for you... I suppose. About two years ago, I went through a really heavy bout of depression myself. I was on Zoloft and Helix back then, and honestly, it turned me into someone I didn't quite recognize. I ended up stopping the meds, though looking back, it seems like I probably quit far too early, because the depression eventually caught up with me again. I just couldn't seem to handle the constant daily stress that's been hitting me over the last couple of months. So, about a month ago, I started back on Zoloft... and I can genuinely feel that, combined with my own efforts, things are getting a little better every day. I think I'm starting to see the point in things again...🙂 Good luck!

stormyheron98 said:Look, antidepressants don't cause addiction. Period. Sedatives? Yeah, sure, those can hook you. But antidepressants? Not really. Most people just don't get the difference between the two groups. That said, if you suddenly quit an antidepressant cold turkey, you’re gonna deal with a nasty withdrawal effect because your brain's neurotransmitters just tank overnight. It feels terrible, but it passes. And honestly, it’s usually more intense with the newer stuff, like an SSRI (think Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, whatever). Bottom line: if you're on them, don't just stop out of nowhere. You gotta taper off slow.

Even that herbal stuff made from St. John's Wort—hypericin, if you want to be technical—basically works the exact same way as the synthetic stuff.

George Clark19 said:So, based on what people have been saying on here—if you’re feeling depressed, exhausted, and super cranky, could that all just be down to iron or vitamin deficiencies?😕
Is it actually possible to spiral into full-blown depression just from that? Like, it starts as being tired, then you get irritable, and then it all just snowballs and feeds into itself?
I gotta say, the meds I was on (Prozac, Wellbutrin) didn't do squat for me. I ended up quitting them cold turkey and didn't really deal with any issues.
The depression usually hits me hardest in the winter—it'd last from maybe October until February before things started looking up again. This year was actually pretty decent through the winter, though, but now that we're hitting March, it's starting to creep back in. Only difference is this time I'm not letting myself sink into that total lethargy; I'm getting out, studying, stuff like that. Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if it's even actual depression or if it's just finally facing whatever reality is left over.
P.S.—I wouldn't say it's ever been *quite* as catastrophic as what some other people go through, but it's definitely enough to freak me out and make me feel paralyzed about life.

Drew Alvarez56 said:Cheers - analogpuma0, stormyheron98

I've been on Prozac for three months, feeling better, no panic attacks... just a little bit of occasional anxiety left... you guys actually threw me off a bit regarding how long you should stay on these things.... I was planning to stick with it until month ten and then taper off slowly.....
But damn, if all that stuff can actually come back... because I was in a really dark place (panic, fears, anxiety, high blood pressure, neck pain... eventually I didn't even dare leave my house... and before that, I was a strong guy, always handled everything myself)... my wife left me and took the kids a year ago, and by early February, those symptoms started hitting me... I'm 40...
How much longer should one take antidepressants (once a person is functioning normally again)..
Best regards

Hannah Cox16 said:I decided to do a complete "system overhaul" on myself. Once I realized I was physically healthy, I felt this massive wave of gratitude. I started taking half a pill of Zoloft every evening, and things really began to turn around. It’s honestly fascinating how complicated we humans can be; I sat with my therapist for two hours and opened up more than I ever have before. We shouldn't hold onto any prejudices about this stuff. Every fear has a root cause; you just have to understand it. Trying to navigate that without professional help isn't easy at all, even though, in reality, the path forward is quite straightforward once you start. I have to love myself, I have to be happy with who I am, and I have to prioritize my own well-being. I've truly embraced life again. I'm treating myself in every way possible—eating whatever I want, sleeping whenever I need to, and even treated myself to some shopping trips for new sandals and a bag. I've even caught myself humming tunes around the house! My husband just watches me, looking completely bewildered. I even booked a solo week at a beach resort to recharge. Life is actually quite beautiful, isn't it?

ombia;21541010 said:have you tried therapy?

Well, look... here's my take on things. After I hit my first major depressive episode, I stayed pretty consistent with my psychiatrist appointments for about a year and a half. During those absolute worst stretches, though, I really only made it to see a psychologist once, and honestly, that single session meant more to me than almost anything else. Now that I’ve spiraled again—which happened just three months after I slowly tapered off my treatment—I haven't actually sought out professional help yet. I did go back on Prozac (though I didn't touch the Lexapro), and I've reached out to schedule a follow-up, but of course, getting an appointment in this healthcare system isn't exactly instantaneous. It hasn't been easy, and even though I've been back on Prozac for a month now, taking a full dose every morning, I'm still struggling quite a bit. I suppose I know what steps I need to take to pull myself out of this, but as hard as it is, I guess you just have to force yourself to do the work. I have some experience with this cycle, so I know the drill... after the first time, I genuinely believed I was done with this forever. And then, inevitably, it happens again. And I have to say, it feels even more brutal and overwhelming than the first time.😢