Final Exam

Man, I finally managed to hit 28, but only by cranking the height down to like half an inch and maxing out the weight at 2,200 pounds. Basically, I had to go totally overboard with the settings just to make it work, because anything under 28 was a total non-starter back in 2015.

The year 2055, when I'll be 80.1 years old

I’ve already kicked the bucket.
And honestly? I’ve done it plenty of times.

You’ve already died:

reasons:
- heroin overdose
- getting jumped in a back alley fight
- heart failure from tuberculosis
- a shootout
- a plane crash
- getting stabbed by an ex-wife
- being poisoned by a jealous boss
- a stroke from too much LSD
.............
😢

September 2059
at age 82
cancer

You've already lived 34% of your life. 😢

Based on what the data says, you're looking at checking out by

August 2056
when you hit 77

- likely culprits -
56% cancer
24% car accidents -
13% loneliness
5% pulmonary edema
2% injuries

And here I was thinking a total nervous breakdown would finally get me! 😁 😁 😁

Based on the data we've gathered, it looks like your journey might come to an end around July 2053—putting you right at the age of 83.

- likely culprit - cancer

AVERAGE Female Life SPAN: 77.1 years

It’s quite clear from the numbers—if you look closely—that you possess significantly more health and energy than the AVERAGE Female Life SPAN would suggest!

🙂

- suspected cause -
cancer

at age 69

Dammit

Passed away at 86 due to natural causes.

I'll probably be dead by 2069—hitting a solid 85, I guess. All because of cancer. 😁

82.1g.

My heart is seriously about to give out here.

But I don't know, feels sketchy. My folks both passed from cancer.

89 years old and still going strong!!! 🎉

Frank Alvarez8
died at 89 from old age!!! 🎉

yeah, right... just keep dreaming.. 😁

Based on the data we've pulled together, looks like you'll be checking out by

January 2059
hitting age 78

- likely culprit -

cancer

😁

tough luck, man 😉

Frank Alvarez8
Dying at 89 just because you're old!!! 🎉

And what if you spend the last 35 years being bedridden or stuck in a wheelchair?

1. First off, we need to look at how much someone's home country actually affects their life expectancy projections.
2. Then, there's that "heart-warming story" about your late loved one... I mean, what did you even write? Did you use a thesaurus or something? 😬
3. And were you lying about eating organic food and hitting the gym like everyone else on the internet? 🙂
There's more too, I just can't wrap my head around it right now...