Waking up gasping and twitching all night long

My sleep has been pretty much trashed ever since the fallout from when I
ended a "serious" relationship about 7 months ago.
I’m tossing and turning all night, waking up constantly, and once I'm up, I just can't drift back off.
That's when my brain starts racing with all these random, nonsensical thoughts... kind of like being in some weird
half-dream state...
I've been on an antidepressant for 6 months now—just one pill a day.
The doctor put me on it to get the panic attacks under control so I wouldn't
have to rely on Helix, since that stuff gets you hooked.
Anyone else dealt with something similar?

Hmm, I dealt with the exact same thing because of work stress.
It dragged on for a solid 8 or 9 months...
Everything you're describing is spot on—waking up constantly, those racing thoughts when you're half-asleep, and even though I'd hit the pillow feeling absolutely dead, sleep just wouldn't come!
Those intrusive thoughts made it obvious that work was the culprit, since they were strictly about my job.

But it passed.
No pills involved, which is a relief because I really can't stand taking medication.
I had to basically "train" myself, constantly telling myself, "Screw this job, your health comes first, you're going to burn yourself out..." I don't know which thought finally clicked or when it happened, but eventually, it cleared up.🙂

You'll get through this too, for sure.👍

Just keep pushing forward; time heals everything.
🙂 👋

It’s entirely possible that depression is the underlying cause here.

I haven't dealt with it personally, but my mom has.

The symptoms were identical.
She started taking St. John's Wort capsules, and her sleep issues completely vanished.
The best part? St. John's Wort is totally herbal, so there's zero risk of getting hooked.

Yeah, I’m actually curious about this twitching thing during sleep. Like, someone is sleeping right next to you and they just jerk every few minutes, but they stay totally asleep. Is that some kind of disorder? What's actually going on there?

As for me, I’m waking up every couple of hours. Sometimes I can’t even drift off, other times I’m just wide awake in the middle of the night. And man, I dream about real life stuff constantly—scenes that feel so real I’m basically making actual decisions and thinking through things while I'm out. It’s not just some random "movie" playing in my head; I’m genuinely living it. Honestly, work has been a total grind lately, plus there's just a lot of other stuff weighing on me in my daily life.

Thanks Sandra Evans2, Gary Sanchez, and Matthew Morris28 for jumping in here.

I really believe time heals everything, it just moves so incredibly slow... super slow...

So, I actually managed to get some decent sleep in my own bed today. 🙂

Gary Sanchez, back then my therapist put me on antidepressants to help
get rid of those panic attacks, the shaking, and that "lump in my throat" feeling I got
during a major life transition that just totally shook my system and caused all those
reactions.

I’m a pretty happy person, people generally like me and think I'm sweet,
and I've made a huge leap forward in my life, but I'm still searching for that inner
peace.
I feel good, but obviously—there's still some restlessness left, because when I start
jerking around in my sleep at night, the person next to me can't even sleep. 😲 😁

Matthew Morris28 said:Yeah, I'm curious about this twitching thing during sleep. You know, when the person next to you is out cold, but they just jerk every few minutes and keep right on sleeping. Is that actually a disorder? What's the deal with that?

They call it restless leg syndrome—supposedly the muscles just twitch involuntarily, and it doesn't even wake the sleeper up...

Matthew Morris28 said:Yeah, I'm curious about this twitching during sleep. It’s when the person next to you is sleeping, but they jerk every few minutes while still staying asleep. Is that a disorder? What's actually happening there?

As for me, I wake up every couple of hours. Sometimes I can't drift off, other times I just snap awake in the middle of the night. I dream about real-life situations quite often—scenes that feel indistinguishable from reality where I'm actively thinking and making decisions. It isn't just some random "movie" playing in my head; I'm genuinely living through it. Honestly, work and a lot of other stuff in my daily life have been weighing on me lately.

I need to dig into this more. I think I've already posted about it three times, if not more, on the Health forums!

🙂 😉 😎

If you want my honest opinion, just sign up for some kind of sport and work yourself into the ground. You’ll be sleeping like a baby once you're actually exhausted. 🙂

darkrider15 said:

Maybe try untangling that mental knot first—either by working through the issue in your own head or by laying it all out here on the forum.
Just talk to us about it. Let us give you an objective, third-party perspective—something to help you look at things from a different angle before you go diving into the deep end. 😉

Linda Hernandez15 said:Maybe try untangling that mental knot first, either by yourself or right here on the forum.
Just lay it all out for us... we can give you an objective third perspective, let you see things from a different angle, and then maybe help you patch everything back together... 😉

Fine. Should I move this over to "Life Together"? Or maybe "Lonely Heart"?
This past year has been a total grind for me. I was basically dependent on my ex
in pretty much every way—emotionally and financially too.
But I finally realized the whole relationship was a dead end, so I called it quits and moved into
my own apartment. Just yesterday, I went and grabbed the very last thing he still had of mine—my skis. It’s weird, because I feel like he’s practically family,
and he even told me he views me as part of his family (he's totally alone, parents passed away, no siblings)...
We still talk every other day; he calls me up and all that.
The reality is simple—he just isn't the one for me. When his friends ask why I
moved out, he just tells them it was obvious he didn't love me the way
I needed him to.
I don't feel like I actually miss him. But whenever we run into each other, I just end up
breaking down in tears. I just feel so much regret for everything.
I just want to be free. I'm independent now. What else is there left to do?
I've met this amazing guy, and being around him makes me feel so happy. I really don't want some "subconscious" baggage holding me back and keeping me trapped in this web... Help.

😵

Jamie Clark74 said:I need to look into this more. I think I’ve posted about it at least three times on Healthline!

🙂 😉 😎

The connection between Apnea Link & restless leg syndrome!

"I just want to be free. I’ve worked hard to be independent, so what else is there left to do?
I met this amazing guy, and honestly, being around him makes me feel so happy. But I'm terrified that some 'subconscious' baggage is going to hold me back and prevent me from
breaking out of this mental trap. Help. "

I think you already know exactly what needs to happen if you actually want that freedom...

Maybe for a little while—especially since things are still so new—you should probably cut ties with your ex. He’s constantly hovering in your life right now; you guys talk all day, and then at night, you're stuck dealing with the fallout of the breakup...
That stood out to me as, well, a pretty obvious detail...

But you're the one who knows your own heart best, so just be honest with yourself. 🙂

You know that scene in the cartoon where Bambi goes out onto the frozen lake and just completely wipes out on the ice, limbs flying everywhere?
And then Bambi tries to pull one leg under, almost gets up, falls again, and repeats that whole cycle a few times, but eventually manages to stand up on those shaky little legs...🙂 👋

It feels like you’re still carrying this sense of obligation toward your ex—like it’s some psychological weight holding you back from actually doing those little things that would make you happy. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but what kind of breakup is it really if you’re still talking several times a week? You need to cut ties... otherwise, you aren't going to feel truly free for a long time.

darkrider15 said:Fine. Should I pivot to discussing "Life Together"? Or maybe dive into "Lonely Hearts"?
This past year has been an absolute grind for me. I was completely dependent on my ex-boyfriend,
not just financially, but emotionally too.
Eventually, I realized how pointless the whole thing was, decided to walk away, and now I’m living
in my own apartment. Just yesterday, I finally went and picked up the last thing of mine he was holding—my skis.
Honestly, I feel more like a distant relative to him than an ex; he even told me he views me as part of his family,
which makes sense since he’s basically on his own—his parents have passed and he has no siblings.
We still talk every other day because he’s the one calling me.
The reality is simple: he just isn't the guy for me. When his friends ask why I moved
out, he tells them it was obvious he didn't love me in the way I actually needed.

I don't miss him, really. But whenever we run into each other, I find myself breaking down in tears.
I just regret everything about how it went.
I want to be free. I am independent. What else is there left to do?
I’ve met this wonderful guy, and being around him makes me feel happy. I just don't want some
subconscious weight dragging me back or keeping me trapped in that old web. Help.
😵

I'm dealing with the exact same thing, though it's been going on for two years now. My main issue is insomnia; it hits me out of nowhere, sometimes staying for a while and sometimes just vanishing. It all started right after I ended a two-year relationship that turned out to be pretty traumatic for me.
The point is, I moved on from him a long time ago—more than enough—but this insomnia stuck around for no apparent reason. During the day, I'm perfectly fine, cheerful, and optimistic without any dark thoughts, but once night rolls around, I still can't sleep... God knows what my subconscious is playing at. 🙄