Hey Spoon, I am seriously loving that response you put out there. Honestly, it was such a hit that I’ve decided to go full nerd on you—I'm planning to break down and comment on every single sentence you wrote. So... let's get this show on the road.
Look, I hate to say it, but what else am I supposed to expect? Honestly—I can't say I agree with a single damn thing you just wrote.
What can I even say? I honestly thought what I put out there was pretty reasonable—like, totally middle-of-the-road stuff—but I’m starting to realize that you need a very specific kind of mindset to actually wrap your head around it, let alone actually buy into it.
I honestly thought the movie was pretty decent on its own merits, but I’m starting to realize that you need a specific kind of headspace—like, a very particular mindset—to actually wrap your brain around what’s happening and truly vibe with it.
So, apparently they’ve officially stripped away my right to claim I don't like Garden State for some legitimate reason. Honestly? This whole "masterpiece" thing is getting a bit much—I can't even fully wrap my head around why everyone thinks it's such a big deal, so yeah, great. Just great.
I still say *Garden State* hits way deeper than those other little comedies and Ben Stiller flicks you were listing off.
Let's be real for a second—a huge chunk of Ben Stiller's filmography actually goes way deeper and carries more weight than Garden State ever did. But then again, that same logic applies to most of the Farrelly brothers' movies too, so I guess that's not exactly a gold standard for quality.
I honestly don't get why you're making such a huge deal out of all this—like, what's even the point?
Look, I’m not gonna go through the whole ordeal of quoting your first post again—just do us both a favor and re-read that massive, mile-long run-on sentence of yours. Seriously, calling that a "sentence" is a stretch; it was basically just a word salad at that point. Once you've done that, take another look at my response. If it still hasn't clicked for you by then, I guess I'll be more than happy to break it down for you like you're five.
Honestly, looking at everything you just laid out, it feels like you didn't even grasp what the movie was actually supposed to be about.
Yeah, we already established that I basically didn't get the movie at all.
I don’t know what kind of standards you’re living by, man, but honestly? What Garden State is putting out is just more sincere, more meaningful, and way more lived-in than half the garbage being peddled out there today.
More honest? In what sense? Explain yourself a little here. Are you trying to say Braff’s situations and characters actually feel grounded in reality? Let's get real about the characters for a second. *Garden State* is primarily a comedy, and honestly, it feels unfair to tear it apart just because the characters are caricatures—but I feel like you’re seeing some deep, profound connection in them that just isn't there. They’re way too over-the-top to pass as convincing twenty-somethings, yet at the same time, they're incredibly shallow. Look, I personally know plenty of people drifting through life, working dead-end jobs in some tiny rural town they were born in, dealing with massive, heavy-duty problems. I was once in a long-distance relationship with a girl who went through some absolutely horrific stuff during her formative years; I have a friend with epilepsy... you name it. Trying to compare anyone from *Garden State* to actual people like that would be pretty insulting, frankly. And the plot? Returning to your hometown after being gone for years, facing off against ghosts from your past, and finally falling in love—on paper, all of that sounded great to me. It’s exactly why I was actually looking forward to this movie. Unfortunately, Braff is just so green and naive, and it shows. If we set aside the romance (and you're insisting this isn't just some basic rom-com), the movie goes absolutely nowhere. Those little narrative threads that are supposed to weave together a realistic tapestry are nothing more than clichés ripped straight from a thousand other movies. The party scene? Check. That scene (okay, let's be real, there are several) where we see the female lead acting all "quirky" and "crazy," which is supposed to be super cute? Check. The scene where the lead uncovers his dark secret from the past? Check. The scene where everyone screams at each other in the rain? Check. And finally, the big finale where the guy heads for the airport, leaving the girl he fell for behind, only to change his mind at the absolute last second and run back? Yeah, please. Even if the story in *Garden State* is technically better than a lot of the junk being pumped out lately, that doesn't mean it's actually good.
Just try to wrap your head around it for a second.
okay, I get it now—hell, maybe I’m just a total moron who doesn't understand anything at all.
Eternal Sunshine is a more universal film.
I mean, sure, in a way it might be, but you don't judge movies solely based on how much you can personally relate to them.
I think that's why so many people love it.
Personally, I think the reason is simply that Eternal Sunshine is an absolutely brilliant film in every single sense.
Better?
Oh, definitely.
Well, yeah, but that isn't the point.
Yeah, but the point is that you can't even begin to compare these two movies on any level.
Garden State is a smaller film, for a smaller group of people—people who probably build their relationships in different ways.
And what kind of ways would those be?
The kind of ways that probably seem silly, childish, and stupid to someone like you.
Ah, those ☕
I found myself in that movie.
My bad.
It spoke about the individual condition and certain human connections, mindset, and distance in such an honest way that I think anyone could find themselves somewhere in it.
I already told you what I think about that "honesty," whatever you're implying by it.
But maybe you actually need to think about this for a second and read between the lines.
Great, now I’ve officially become some shallow moron who doesn't get anything. I wonder what other ridiculous titles I'll rack up by the end of this.
It's important to catch those little, sweet moments—like that scene in the hospital waiting room where she offers him her headphones while she's listening to Shinsi.
Yeah, sure, let's just imagine an equally "sweet" little moment where a guy is trying to cross the street.
And he hears it too.
Well, he looks left.
But he doesn't know about them.
But a car is coming.
So he asks.
Then he waits. I mean, wtf?
And no, it isn't idealism.
What on earth are you even talking about? What kind of twisted idealism is that?
It's not childish.
How would it even be childish? It's one totally insignificant detail that got you all worked up because—hey—she's listening to Shinsi. I'm seriously curious how much you'd love the scene if she were listening to Britney.
It's a connection, the kind you don't see often.
Oh lordy... they shared—-- a moment!
My connections have almost always formed through those kinds of things.
And then you turn around and accuse me of categorizing everything based on unfounded subjectivity. What even is "unfounded subjectivity" compared to "founded" subjectivity? Do you even know what you're saying, or are you just obsessed with your word count?
From those little situations.
Man, I really regret deciding to respond to every single damn sentence. This is pure mind dumping.
Maybe just messing around, I guess.
I’ve met plenty of people like this—you know the type. They walk up to some girl holding a lighter and suddenly decide the best way to prove how "edgy" they are is by setting their own shirt on fire. Like, okay, cool guy, you're such a rebel. Honestly? All I can visualize is a ten-ton weight dropping out of thin air right on top of them. This was mostly back in high school, which makes it kind of funny looking back, but if you try that move once you're older than fifteen, it just gets straight-up pathetic.
Look, let’s get one thing straight—this isn't some cheesy, Hallmark-style romance flick. Don't go expecting a tear-jerker or a sweeping love story where everything works out in the end. It's definitely not that kind of movie.
Nah, listen—it’s fine right up until about the halfway mark. Once Natalie Portman shows up, you can actually tolerate the thing; it’s relatively decent and even moderately fun in a "hey, this isn't a total disaster" kind of way. But then? Then the whole romance subplot takes over the driver's seat, and the movie just slowly slides straight into a pit of pure mediocrity.
So, I just finished watching this flick, and man, it really hits you right in the gut when it comes to how closed-off people can be—or, more importantly, how much we actually need to open up our minds if we want to get anywhere. It’s one of those movies that doesn't just play in the background while you're scrolling through your phone; it sticks to your ribs. It’s all about that mental openness—or the total lack thereof—and how much our own stubbornness limits us. Just some food for thought, I guess.
Excuse me? Mo-olim?? Seriously? If you had told me this movie was about Iranian terrorists who fund their operations by performing tap dances dressed up like cows, I might actually have a clue what you’re talking about. How on earth did you even reach that conclusion? Honestly, at this point, I'm starting to think you're just pretending not to get it because the actual message is something you'd rather ignore.
I mean, maybe you just need a little more mental flexibility to actually wrap your head around a movie like that.
Alright, my bad—that last bit was just me giving you another opening to shut me down effectively. Basically, I was just taking a swing at some superficial moron who clearly isn't catching a single thing. And honestly? That’s just one of many...
I have no clue what you're even trying to pull with that "Kissing on the Mouth" reference.
I just want to say that, if we’re actually going by the manifesto, that would...
I could have. Man, we desperately need a movie that actually nails what being in your 20s feels like right now—like, an actual, honest-to-god representation of our generation. I’m talking about the real stuff, not some sanitized Hollywood version. Honestly, it's like that thing you were arguing about earlier regarding how *Garden State* handled it... look, I know you think it worked, but I totally disagree. It just didn't hit the mark for me.
I honestly don't see how that even fits here—it’s got absolutely zero to do with what we're actually talking about.
So, you have no clue what I was actually getting at with that reference, but you’re still doubling down on the idea that it doesn't work at all? Nice. Typical.
Look, just because a movie claims to be "generational" or tries to tackle some deep social commentary doesn't mean it has to be one giant, depressing middle finger aimed at the current state of society. It’s not always about being an attack piece or some hyper-negative, nihilistic look at how everything is falling apart for our generation. That's just not the only way to do it.
I mean, honestly, nobody even brought that up. You’re basically just mixing negativity with "realism" at this point—which is really just a fancy way of being a buzzkill.
There’s this whole other dimension of people out there—you know, the kind of souls we lean on every single day—that just exists above all the daily grind, the chaos, and the constant little hits life tries to throw at you.
I'm not really following what you were trying to get at with that sentence. It sounds pretty creepy, honestly.
One of those dimensions is shown in Garden State.
Which specific dimensions are we even talking about here?
Life isn't perfect for everyone like it is for Andrew and Sam and their crew, but it's a reflection of a certain kind of society—one that's confused in its own way, yet still feels like it belongs somewhere.
What makes their life "ideal"? The guy killed his own mother, and his dad has been keeping him on antidepressants for a decade for basically no reason—not to mention she had epilepsy and was a compulsive liar. Man, if that's the standard, I must belong to this "confused society" too.
Kissing on the mouth has its place, but watch where it fits and make sure you can tell the difference.
Yes, Dad.
And one more thing.
Yes, Dad?
I can't stand Coldplay, but having The Postal Service, Shinsi, Remy Zero, and Colin Hay on there is enough for me to call the soundtrack relatively good.
Well, at least we finally agreed the soundtrack is just "relatively good" rather than "amazing," which is what you were claiming at first. But honestly, the issue isn't the song selection—it's how they actually use them in the movie. Clearly, Braff's "cringe detector" and yours aren't calibrated quite the same way mine is. If you want to see how an indie pop soundtrack is actually used effectively, check out
FLCL for example. Seriously though, this is one of the best coming-of-age stories in any medium, so you should definitely give it a watch. If nothing else, just so we have something to argue about later.
[rest in next post, wouldn't fit all here]
