How do you deal with anxiety?

Dennis Mitchell52 NewcomerOP

8 messages
joined Jul 2004

#1 · Jun 15, 2004

I finally moved into my own apartment and started living solo. The issue is, I am absolutely terrified once night falls.
I’ve always been a night owl when it comes to studying, so I’m usually up until 4 or 5 in the morning. Logically, I know there isn't anything to be afraid of—everything is locked up tight and the neighborhood is quiet—but I just can't shake the feeling. Every little creak or sound sends me into a panic, and I find myself pacing through the apartment constantly... it's exhausting. Last night, I actually tried to go to bed, but the anxiety was so intense that sleep was impossible. I just sat there in my room crying, waiting for the sun to come up.
I really don't want to deal with this every single night. Normally, I might reach for some Xanax, but I have to stay focused on my coursework, and I'm worried medication will mess with my concentration.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks a lot.

nimbledriver81 Active Member

96 messages
joined Aug 2007

#2 · Jun 15, 2004

Turn on a lamp in some corner—just enough to get a little bit of light in there. And honestly? Slide a big kitchen knife under the bed. I know, I know, it sounds absolutely ridiculous—I can almost hear you laughing—but listen! One time, someone actually broke into my apartment, and I was so spooked that sleep became a complete impossibility. I just kept that knife right next to me all night. After a few days of feeling like a total clown, I finally tucked it back in the kitchen drawer where it belongs.

vividotter97 Newcomer

5 messages
joined Jun 2004

#3 · Jun 15, 2004

I heard there’s some kind of foreign site where people hang out and swap advice... I think it was something like Reddit?😁

Just kidding. Turn on the radio, air out your room, brew some coffee, and dive into a good book. Honestly, nothing beats just getting in the zone! I actually just wrapped up a massive study session myself, and now my brain won't shut up... I've gotten way too used to this night owl lifestyle... You looking for company or something?😉

---
It's just my personal blog

Amanda Booth64 Newcomer

4 messages
joined Jun 2004

#4 · Jun 15, 2004

Just turn on the radio or the TV... anything to distract yourself from what’s happening inside your own head... or better yet, just call someone you actually trust for a quick word or two. 🙂 Of course, make sure it’s someone who would actually pick up the phone at three in the morning if you needed them. 😁
Hang in there. Just have a little patience and things will settle down. 👋

Dennis Mitchell52 NewcomerOP

8 messages
joined Jul 2004

#5 · Jun 15, 2004

nimbledriver81 said:Just leave a lamp on in a corner, just enough to have some light. Stick a large kitchen knife under the bed. I know it sounds ridiculous, but someone once broke into my apartment and I couldn't sleep, so I kept a knife right next to me. After a few days, I felt silly and put it back in the kitchen.

Almost every light in my place is on right now, and I've got a knife and some scissors within arm's reach.
I probably sound like a total nutcase, but I honestly can't help it.
Someone broke into my house once, so I guess that's where this fear comes from. I don't know...

restlessmarlin6 Active Member

219 messages
joined Oct 2003

#6 · Jun 15, 2004

Personally, I find that having the radio playing really helps me out, so if you can study while listening to some music, I’d definitely recommend it.

I don't know how big your apartment is, but it's a known thing that anxiety tends to feel way more intense when you're in a larger space. Maybe try to find a corner where you have the best possible view of the whole layout. Honestly, it doesn't matter at all if you feel a little silly doing that; you'll get used to it eventually and won't even think twice about it.

Oh, and have you thought about getting a pet? Even just a little bird or maybe a hamster? I honestly think that might be the best move... It gives you this constant feeling that you aren't actually alone, especially if the little creature is vocal. Plus, you'll have a buddy to cheer you up and someone to play with during your study breaks. 🙂

Dennis Mitchell52 NewcomerOP

8 messages
joined Jul 2004

#7 · Jun 15, 2004

vividotter97 said:I heard there’s some site where people hang out and give advice... I think it was something like Reddit?😁

Just kidding. Turn on the radio, air out your room, brew some coffee, and dive into a book. Nothing beats pure focus. I just finished a massive study session myself and now I’m dealing with insomnia... I’ve gotten used to the night shift. You looking for company?😉

---
Just my own little blog over here.

I'll try to stay focused, but if the anxiety kicks in, I'll be back on the forums😉 or calling my dad at 3 a.m.

Dennis Mitchell52 NewcomerOP

8 messages
joined Jul 2004

#8 · Jun 15, 2004

restlessmarlin6 said:I find listening to the radio helps me focus. If you can study while music is playing, I’d definitely recommend it.

I'm not sure how much space you have, but it's common knowledge that anxiety feels heavier in a larger apartment. Try finding a corner where you have the best line of sight over the rest of the place. It doesn't matter if you feel silly doing it; you'll get used to it eventually and stop overthinking it.

Also, have you thought about getting a pet? Even just a bird or a hamster. Honestly, it's probably the best move. It gives you that constant sense that you aren't alone, especially if the little guy is vocal. Plus, you'll have a companion to cheer you up and play with during breaks. 🙂

It's a two-bedroom on the first floor, plus there's a balcony... man, my mind immediately starts jumping to all sorts of worst-case scenarios.

I could actually look into getting a pet. Or maybe just start with one of those garden gnomes that whistles when someone walks by... 😁

Carol Jackson45 Active Member

79 messages
joined Aug 2004

#9 · Jun 15, 2004

You'll get used to it eventually... honestly, being stuck alone in my dorm was depressing (since I live on campus), but now I just barricade myself in my room with every lock I can find, blast some music, and tune everything out. If you can, grab a pet—I highly recommend a dog 🙂

cosmictrucker132 Member

27 messages
joined Apr 2004

#10 · Jun 17, 2004

Dennis Mitchell52 said:I should probably get a pet, or maybe just one of those garden gnomes that whistles when someone walks by...

How about a bloodthirsty pit bull? Or maybe just a little 9mm pet? 😁

urbanseal6 Member

30 messages
joined Jul 2004

#11 · Jun 17, 2004

Dennis Mitchell52 said:I finally moved into my own apartment and started living on my own. The problem is, I am absolutely terrified every single night.
I've always been a night owl when it comes to studying, so I usually stay awake until about 4 or 5 in the morning. I know logically there isn't anything to be afraid of—everything is locked up tight and secure—but I just can't help myself. Every little noise makes me jump, and I find myself constantly walking through the apartment to check things... it's awful. Last night, I actually tried to go to sleep, but I was so scared that I just couldn't do it. I ended up just sitting in my room, crying and waiting for the sun to come up...
I don't want to live like this every single night. Normally, I might consider taking something like Xanax to calm down, but I have to study, and I'm worried it will mess with my focus.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you so much.

I completely understand where you're coming from, and I actually went through something very similar about three years ago when I first moved into an apartment by myself. Up until then, I had always shared a room with my sister, so I hadn't even experienced sleeping alone, which made the whole transition so much harder... It wasn't just the fear of a burglar or someone breaking in, either; those "unreal" fears, like ghosts or apparitions, felt even more intense and overwhelming. I know it sounds silly, and deep down we know we should only worry about practical, real-world threats, but those irrational fears are often just projections of our actual anxieties. Looking back now, I realize how irrational it all was, and honestly, it seems almost funny that I was so frightened, because everything in life eventually finds a way to be resolved... My own anxiety subsided after maybe two or three weeks, and now, even when my partner isn't home and I'm forced to be alone at night, I don't give those fears a second thought; I sleep like a log. Believe me, this feeling will pass on its own if you just try to relax and not let it weigh on you too heavily. Everything is going to be alright...👋

Peter Taylor63 Member

32 messages
joined Dec 2004

#12 · Jun 17, 2004

Exactly! It just fades away on its own... because after a few nights, you realize there aren't any ghosts or visions or anything. 😁 I was a little spooked at first, but honestly, it passes after a while. Even though having the TV on can be distracting when you're studying, maybe it's not bad to leave it running—it kind of gives you the feeling that someone else is home, as long as it doesn't actually mess with your focus...

And obviously, just lock all your doors...

Also, try to be friendly with your neighbors, or at least enough so you aren't total strangers. Then it feels like they're living right there with you, just in the next room over...

Plus, you can usually hear neighbors through the walls, so you’re basically never alone. Theoretically (and practically, too), there are people just a few feet away from you!

Don't sweat it, it's all part of being human! 😁 😉

urbanseal6 Member

30 messages
joined Jul 2004

#13 · Jun 17, 2004

Peter Taylor63 says:
In an apartment, you can usually hear your neighbors through the walls, so in theory—and practically speaking—you’re never truly alone, since there are people living just a few feet away from you!

Exactly, I feel much more secure living in an apartment because I know there are people nearby, whereas if I were in a standalone house, adjusting to that kind of total solitude might actually be a bit harder...😲

ambermason16 Active Member

213 messages
joined Apr 2009

#14 · Jun 17, 2004

The folks in this thread pretty much nailed it—TV or radio for background noise (bold that if you need to!) and a pet 🙂

Ever since I can remember, I’ve needed the TV running to drift off. But honestly? Nothing beats the feeling of my cat crawling into bed in the middle of the night and starting to purr against me 🙂

Peter Taylor63 Member

32 messages
joined Dec 2004

#15 · Jun 17, 2004

Yeah, I guess a cat could work. They're pretty quiet though, so you might not even realize there's a living creature nearby half the time. But honestly, having a chill, quiet pet is probably a good thing. To me, a cat seems like a better bet than getting a dog since they aren't as high-maintenance—they don't really make a mess either, assuming you train them right, unless they decide to scratch up the furniture a bit...😁 😁

ambermason16 Active Member

213 messages
joined Apr 2009

#16 · Jun 17, 2004

Peter Taylor63 said:Sure, a cat could work, though they’re pretty quiet animals. You wouldn't even realize there was a living creature nearby most of the time.

Heh... clearly you haven't met my seronja.😬

Some days I honestly can't tell if there's just a cat running through my apartment or if the entire lineup of The Rolling Stones is practicing in my living room. It's pure chaos.😁

But yeah, the point stands—they can be silent, then affectionate, then suddenly totally feral. They keep you on your toes. Cats are absolute legends.🙂

Peter Taylor63 Member

32 messages
joined Dec 2004

#17 · Jun 17, 2004

shree_kali said:..honestly, cats are just the best 🙂

I mean, what else am I supposed to say?! 😁 😁 😉

shadowseal372 Newcomer

8 messages
joined Jun 2004

#18 · Jun 17, 2004

I'm on board with most of the advice above, but I’ll add one thing to the mix:

Learn to control your breathing—consciously and with purpose.
It works just like when you get rattled or startled and your breath starts getting shallow and fast... if you can force yourself to slow it down and breathe deeply, the anxiety and agitation will follow suit.

ambermason16 Active Member

213 messages
joined Apr 2009

#19 · Jun 17, 2004

Peter Taylor63 said:And what else was I supposed to say?! 😁 😁 😉

Look, I'm not disputing that part, 😉

but if you're claiming things are "dead quiet"... I strongly disagree with the idea that nothing is happening here. 😬

Honestly, my neighbor's dog was practically singing Klingon opera this morning.

Peter Taylor63 Member

32 messages
joined Dec 2004

#20 · Jun 17, 2004

shree_kali said:I think she was singing Klingon operas this morning...

Looks like we've got another potential member for the Star Trek fan Club! 👋 👋

How do you deal with anxiety?

🔗 Similar threads