Underworld

Nephrite said:Also, I saw Bart doing some kind of flip over a car in the trailer.

Anyway, when on earth is this movie actually hitting theaters? Most of the rest of the world has had the DVD out since January 6th. I feel like we've been thrown back into the distant past—like it's 2000 again—where everyone else is watching the movie while we're just sitting here waiting.

Do you live in Washington, D.C.?
No?
Doesn't matter, releases aren't always on time here either.

Douglas Phillips4 said:but it's still a blast 👍

I mean, sure, but I wouldn't go making it my whole personality.
It’s honestly just like any other video game you pick up; you play it until you're totally burnt out on it, then you just toss it aside and find something else to sink your teeth into.

What a disaster! Honestly, the director is basically just scavenging ideas from a million other movies that were actually better constructed and paced much more effectively (think Blade or The Matrix, for instance).
The only thing worth giving a thumbs up for is the atmosphere and that washed-out, pale blue color grading they used for the camera work. Oh, and Kate! 😛

The Hobbit—honestly, that’s exactly what movies like that are built for. In my opinion, it hits the mark perfectly for that kind of escapism. 👍

Vampires vs. werewolves—honestly, the concept is killer, even if the execution is a bit hit-or-miss. Still, it’s not half bad, really. Not bad at all. What’s everyone else thinking?

I found the movie somewhat underwhelming. They really could have executed it much better than they did. That actress was great, though. 🙂

Look, seriously, there’s been zero mention of this 🤔

Has it finally hit the video stores yet?
I caught it in theaters, and honestly, it was alright. Good enough for a distraction. 👍

It’s stupid. In the end, everything just devolves into some soap opera drama about relationships instead of having the factions actually tear each other apart, like that massive battle in Return of the King.

The movie just wasn't my thing. I won't go as far as saying it was a total disaster—it wasn't quite that bad—but man, it definitely wasn't any good either...
The soundtrack is great

Discussion regarding Underworld

Greetings!
Cheers!

🙂 👋

I really wanted to love this one. The concept? Brilliant. I'm totally on board with the premise, but man, the execution just didn't hit the mark for me. There were certain sequences that felt completely off. For instance, they could have leaned much more heavily on CGI for the werewolf transformations. And don't even get me started on that scene where the werewolf is crawling up the wall—it looked so fake and awkward! It was just jarring.

All in all, it’s a fun enough watch, though let’s be honest: once again, it takes a whole squad of badass women to save the entire country. Honestly, what would we even do without them? 😉 😛

casualotter21 said:Also, just because you’re a vampire doesn't mean you actually know how to drive. I mean, she practically steered that thing straight into the harbor. Women drivers... Honestly, even after 600 years of immortality, they still haven't mastered the art of manual shifting. Such a shame about the Jaguar.

Oh man, here we go... Anyone who has ever been exposed to the high-society vampire lifestyle knows that if someone actually has any class (and that includes Kate), they wouldn't be caught dead in a Jaguar. They'd be driving a Maserati 3200 GT.

Now that we’ve finally cracked the mystery of what car Kate is actually driving, all that's left is to figure out the setting and time period for this absolute mess of a movie. Using some relentless logic, I’ve come to the conclusion that the setting is Budapest—you can actually make out Michael's Budapest address on Kate's computer screen. And anyone who’s ever been there knows that every other Canadian seems to have an old Canadian name like Michael, and just like in the movie, everyone in Canada speaks nothing but English...
Pinning down the timeline is a bit trickier. Kate is driving a 2003 Maserati, the pieces from a vampire mansion are dressed up like courtesans from the previous century, the dangerous guys are wearing Gestapo-style leather coats, and then you have that cool Matrix vibe—denim jackets in the middle of the night, wielding high-tech weapons with fluorescent blue swords and silver nitrate bullets that were sent by Barrett himself. Kate has pistols that fire about 7 million rounds a minute (seriously, where does she keep the ammo?), yet at the station, they still have steam engines pulling the trains. It reminded me of that "distant planet" comic book where guys jump out of ultra-fast spaceships and then start brawling in the sand with spears and gladiator tridents or trying to slice each other with swords.
The war between vampires and werewolves has been going on in secret for centuries, and regular people don't even know about it. But how could they? You don't run into a single soul in the entire movie, except for those thugs in the subway. While Kate is racing through the city, there isn't a living soul in sight. A train pulls into the station—nobody's there. Every few minutes, there's automatic gunfire echoing in the streets, the sewers, or the buildings, but it doesn't catch anyone's attention except for two thugs who, lo and behold, are werewolves. I guess Americans just head straight to bed as soon as it gets dark and plug their ears, so they somehow missed a centuries-old war of extermination.
Oh, and I almost forgot—skinny Kate, the vampire who looks like a Trinity clone, shoots like Serious being, jumps off rooftops like Spider-Man, and drives like my wife, is the director's wife. Pffft!

lonefox373 said:The female vampire looks like a clone of Trinity, shoots like Serious Sam, swings off rooftops like Spider-Man, and drives just like my wife—all because she's the director's spouse. Give me a break.

And why exactly is that a bad thing?

Not really. She’s actually much better looking than Trinity 😁

But look, lonefox373, it’s an action flick meant for entertainment, not a deep philosophical study! If you're overanalyzing every frame, that sounds more like your own issue than a flaw in the movie 😉

The movie's actually pretty good.

casualotter21 said:And why exactly is that a bad thing?

...that doesn't even have to be a bad thing. Honestly, maybe vampire Kate is just the physical embodiment of her director husband's wildest dreams. I mean, having an experienced woman by your side who’s centuries old but still looks incredible... she's this fierce, go-getter vampire, yet she's got that soft side where she gets all teary-eyed sometimes. She spends her time strutting around in tight leather outfits, surrounded by all these dark, moody types, but nobody's actually brave enough to make a move or try to get close to her. She seems delicate, almost fragile, until she pins someone against a wall with one hand... then you see what she's made of. She’s agile, playful, and loves scaling rooftops or leaping from windows down to the street. She drives a killer bike and always has a massive gun ready to go. I mean, who wouldn't want a spouse like that!
Her husband probably tells her once in a while: "Hey honey, put on that tight black bodysuit we grabbed from the Underworld set, and come drain the life out of me, my little vampire. Maybe after, I'll let you play with my heavy revolver."

Benjo said:The movie's good.

Now, that... that's what I call actual film criticism. Short, sweet, and straight to the point.
What's the movie like? It sucks! Why? Just because! 😁

Douglas Phillips4 said:Nah, I don't see it. She’s definitely more attractive than Trinity.😁

But look, lonefox373, this is just a popcorn flick meant for entertainment, not some deep philosophical lecture! If you're overthinking it while you watch, that's kind of on you rather than the movie itself...😉

😬 It’s actually way more fun to tear such a film apart than it is to sit through it. Haha, anyway, I'm really looking forward to Van Helsing. I've got a good feeling about it...😬

Constantine said:I found the first installment to be complete garbage. While the action sequences were decent enough, I prioritize plot above all else—and this story was incredibly cheap, mindless, and lacked even a shred of effort or imagination.

I find myself in complete agreement. 🙂

I’m definitely the biggest Malkavian among you all; I absolutely love their style, especially that last white outfit paired with the colorful top hat.

Oh, look at that! There she is!

...

Who? 😕 😳

And my vampire-themed novel is apparently to blame as well. Ever since I started writing it five years ago, I’ve found myself completely repulsed by those shallow movies like Underworld that just try to hook teenagers with mindless action and sex.

I am absolutely certain that your novel is the greatest masterpiece ever written. 😉 Al, go ahead and finish it up. Once you finally publish it, give us a heads-up on the forum so we can all show up for the book launch. 🙂

Another thing that really gets under my skin is this ancient vampire woman who spends her time hunting werewolves. Honestly, where did the days go when the leads were actually guys like Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Kurt Russell, and Stallone?

Look, your sexual preferences are entirely your own business.

Thirdly: it’s pure stupidity that he shows up in the sequel wearing tight leather, especially when you look at how Blade carries himself.

In light of what you wrote about Schwarzenegger, this comment makes much more sense.

Fourthly, my argument holds: female vampires simply couldn't have existed back then, considering women had virtually zero rights during that era—think Middle Ages, the Inquisition, and all that. They were nothing more than ordinary mistresses and housewives.

It’s honestly ridiculous from a historical standpoint—in a world filled with immortal, superpowered monsters, you just know the women are going to be the vampires.

Peto: They’ve got the budget and they’ve certainly got the special effects, but they didn't put even a shred of effort into the actual plot.

Special effects are cheap. It’s the plot and the characters that actually matter. Preach on, brother! 🙂

Sixth: I'm heading back to the Blade series,

Auch.

Victory Faust

AUCH!AUCH!AUCH!

Don't bother trying to read my opinion.

Well, now it's too late, damn it.