Offside Chat Archives (2014-2021)

Where’s the Congressman?

Moki 😢

Last seen on: 05/28/2013 07:23 PM 😢

Can you believe it? It's been 7 whole years... 😢

My late old man absolutely loved chess. He always kept a board in his car just in case guests dropped by, though most of our games at home were basically family tournaments—super low-stakes stuff. But honestly, what I remember most about those games was all the trash talk directed at
Is my buddy Lazo still barking up the wrong tree? Even though nobody’s even mentioned him lately
It’s useless to have the sweetest vinegar if Jamila can't even find a single chess piece
Just total nonsense

restlesssurfer97 said:When it comes to chess and ego, man, it totally takes me back to being a kid, just sitting there playing against my older brother or one of those older guys in the neighborhood, and I’d lure them out onto thin ice without them even noticing, just sliding into a checkmate, but total silence, you know? I wouldn't say a word, just act like it was just another move and the game keeps rolling, and I'd just sit there watching him with this blank stare while he's hunched over the board, completely clueless, and I’m just tracking that exact millisecond when it finally clicks, but he doesn't react at first, you see, it’s like watching the realization of defeat slowly ripen inside his head, but he keeps cycling through all his options for a second or third time, still not lifting his head, and then it hits him—he's gone through everything three times and there's just nothing left, he realizes it and realizes I'm staring right at him, already knowing everything, because it's not like this is the first time we've been here, so he slowly raises his eyes, our eyes meet, I’ve got this stone-cold poker face, he looks at me, I look at him, just staring in silence, these moments feel like they last an absolute eternity, just waiting... waiting for me to burst out laughing, but I stay cold as ice, awwwwwwwwww what a feeling 🙏🙏🙏 I really miss that 🙏🙏

Then I get this little smirk, what Americans call a smirk, and that’s the breaking point, the moment everything snaps, just shoving the pieces around the board, making a real show of packing up and walking away... depending on how intense things are getting, I might even throw in a "loser cleans up the pieces" while his back is turned as he walks off, though if things were super tense I'd probably just let it slide 🤣🤣

That’s the one.
🙏 Actually, the realization following a checkmate is often even more potent—that sinking feeling of being in a hopeless position—which usually leads to fifteen minutes of agonizing contemplation, only for you to lose your patience and demand they either make a move or resign. Of course, we weren't playing with a clock.

🤣

Jesse Sullivan5 said:I actually live right down near San Diego. ☕

Have they finished the work on the creek, or should we aim for September?

brightpilot6 said:That’s the one.
🙏 Actually, the realization following a checkmate is often even more potent—that sinking feeling of being in a hopeless position—which usually leads to fifteen minutes of agonizing contemplation, only for you to lose your patience and demand they either make a move or resign. Of course, we weren't playing with a clock.

🤣

Have they finished the work on the creek, or should we aim for September?

Honestly, I've already written off summer this year. It's basically canceled.

I suppose I'll just take a break for a while.

Jesse Sullivan5 said:Honestly, I've already written off summer this year. It's basically canceled.

I mean, let them go hit the local public pool or something, you're not wrong.

brightpilot6 said:That’s the one.
🙏 Actually, the realization following a checkmate is often even more potent—that sinking feeling of being in a hopeless position—which usually leads to fifteen minutes of agonizing contemplation, only for you to lose your patience and demand they either make a move or resign. Of course, we weren't playing with a clock.

🤣

Have they finished the work on the creek, or should we aim for September?

I have a deep appreciation for positional play.

Is there anything more elegant than forcing an opponent into a corner where every move they make only worsens their situation?
When they start scrambling, you just hold your ground, maintain your positioning, and slowly tighten the noose.
It beats any flashy combination.

brightpilot6 said:That’s the one.
🙏 Actually, the realization following a checkmate is often even more potent—that sinking feeling of being in a hopeless position—which usually leads to fifteen minutes of agonizing contemplation, only for you to lose your patience and demand they either make a move or resign. Of course, we weren't playing with a clock.

🤣

Have they finished the work on the creek, or should we aim for September?

😂

But man, it’s a straight-up loss, whatever, it is what it is, because when they're standing right there, inches from your face, and you look up and lock eyes with them, there is absolutely nowhere to run 🤣🤣

brightpilot6 said:We didn't have it on the curriculum... perhaps because we were living too close to the fallout of war, the subject matter is sensitive, and frankly, the book itself wasn't exactly beyond reproach.

But in a way, I’m glad we missed it; I don't think I would have been able to process or truly feel its weight through the lens of a sixteen-year-old's mind and experience quite the same way.

Well, we actually started high school a bit later than you did, even within this century.😁

I have no idea if it’s still considered required reading.

Wait, were you seriously an altar boy? That certainly explains the intense devotion to the color white.😍

- - -

Regarding chess, I learned the moves when I was a kid, mostly playing against teachers, and later on, practically no one on the team cared because they were too busy playing poker.
Since various online services arrived, I often find myself checking my standing; within that retention pool—those random opponents the server assigns you—I tend to hover around a 1700-1750 rating.

I get fully geared up to push past 1800, and then I'll run into some low-rated opponent, lose concentration, and throw the game; it's hard to maintain motivation.

I've been playing more over the last month, and I recently pulled off my biggest chess scalp yet, beating a guy with a 2200 rating quite easily, right against the clock.
I truly played a perfect game; there wasn't a single moment where the tension dropped.

I never watch those chess commentary videos or similar clips; I have a few personal systems I use when opening with white that suit me, and I am perfectly aware of all the weaknesses, as well as with black, where I adapt accordingly. It is total amateurism.

I went to check how much that 2200 guy is actually worth, and I stumbled upon some mention of how guys like Magnus Carlsen target 3000-rated players as if it's a joke, and then they even console them by saying, "bravo guys, you held your own."🤣

If anyone has the willpower to organize some kind of forum tournament on a platform, count me in; I just want to see how bad I really am.😁

Noah Perez2 said:Well, we actually started high school a bit later than you did, even within this century.😁

I have no idea if it’s still considered required reading.

Wait, were you seriously an altar boy? That certainly explains the intense devotion to the color white.😍

- - -

Regarding chess, I learned the moves when I was a kid, mostly playing against teachers, and later on, practically no one on the team cared because they were too busy playing poker.
Since various online services arrived, I often find myself checking my standing; within that retention pool—those random opponents the server assigns you—I tend to hover around a 1700-1750 rating.

I get fully geared up to push past 1800, and then I'll run into some low-rated opponent, lose concentration, and throw the game; it's hard to maintain motivation.

I've been playing more over the last month, and I recently pulled off my biggest chess scalp yet, beating a guy with a 2200 rating quite easily, right against the clock.
I truly played a perfect game; there wasn't a single moment where the tension dropped.

I never watch those chess commentary videos or similar clips; I have a few personal systems I use when opening with white that suit me, and I am perfectly aware of all the weaknesses, as well as with black, where I adapt accordingly. It is total amateurism.

I went to check how much that 2200 guy is actually worth, and I stumbled upon some mention of how guys like Magnus Carlsen target 3000-rated players as if it's a joke, and then they even console them by saying, "bravo guys, you held your own."🤣

If anyone has the willpower to organize some kind of forum tournament on a platform, count me in; I just want to see how bad I really am.😁

Well, welcome to defeat! It’s here—it finally arrived—and honestly? I couldn't be more thrilled to see it land right in our laps! It’s almost poetic, isn't it? Like that one scene in a classic old Hollywood film where everything goes sideways—just spectacular!

So, I was just sitting here messing around with my settings, looking at my inbox and seeing I've got 201 messages out of my 200 limit, so I figured I’d just clear everything out, which would probably take me like a minute tops, but then I paused for a second just to see what was actually in there, and suddenly, boom, there's Borna Vokic—or whatever his name was 🤣🤣

The first thing I spot is this message where someone quoted me in a thread that basically aggregates quotes from every single topic on the board (and Tore was never even mentioned):

restlesssurfer97 said:I actually got a random text from Borna on my phone, we swapped numbers via DM way back before he left in 2019, and he was just thanking everyone who took him seriously (both of us), and to those of you making fun of him, he says don't be mad, because honestly, he thinks it's pretty funny and he'd totally do the same thing.
I'm becoming more and more convinced that this guy is a class act

ps. I'm planning on heading down to visit a younger Borna in San Diego soon, so if anyone wants to tag along, let me know.

Then I kept scrolling through the messages and stumbled upon these absolute gems:

Are you actually serious that you got a text from Borna? :P
How am I supposed to believe you?
I just love stories like this, and man, I wish I could be 100% sure that everything I read online is actually true, but...
Anyway, I'm just waiting for 2013, since that's when they should be joining the EU, not 2012 like that politician was claiming.
And, uh, what else... oh yeah, that earthquake in California. Once that happens, then I'll know for sure this is all for real.

P.S. It actually crossed my mind too, to go look for a younger B.V., haha.
Good luck if you're actually going to hunt him down.

And then there's this other one:

Did he already have your number, or did you give it to him?

You're such a menace 🤣 🤣

Now I'm going to go quote the actual thread

Looks like another time traveler has drifted into our little corner of the internet—some random handle, I can't even recall... 😁

Speaking of travelers, if we’re talking chrononauts, you simply cannot ignore John Titor—he's basically the patron saint of these whole conspiracies! Honestly, I was just waxing poetic about him a few days ago during a chat with a fellow forum member. 🤣

Edit:
Last post by Borne Vokić: 🤣

I see you tracked down that guy from Miami just by looking through the phonebook in Orlando back in 2011 😂

Anyway, the offside crew pretty much takes over the fifth page, and since he was the first one listed, I’m betting he’s actually the one who dropped the link to the offside site in the first place 🤣

Consider this my official entry for the upcoming tournament.
There is simply no substitute for learning from the best.

restlesssurfer97 said:I see you tracked down that guy from Miami just by looking through the phonebook in Orlando back in 2011 😂

Anyway, the offside crew pretty much takes over the fifth page, and since he was the first one listed, I’m betting he’s actually the one who dropped the link to the offside site in the first place 🤣

Wait, seriously? 😁

For us—as an entire nation—the year 2019 was absolutely pivotal. Why? Well... you're eventually going to have to ask.

🤔

I don't even know how to process this, because honestly, there's more actual substance in an offside call on a Friday night than there is in this entire thread, and I really refuse to believe that Americans are naturally this dim-witted, though you have to wonder if we’re just dealing with some kind of massive negative selection bias in our culture lately or what. 🤦

Look, I get that the mainstream news outlets can be pretty biased and stuck in their ways, but these independent media sites... man, I swear, can they not find anything remotely funny or clever to write about?

Jesse Sullivan5 said:Wait, seriously? 😁

For us—as an entire nation—the year 2019 was absolutely pivotal. Why? Well... you're eventually going to have to ask.

🤔

I mean, this is basically the smoking gun that proves the guy was actually a time traveler.

Jesse Sullivan5 said:Looks like another time traveler has drifted into our little corner of the internet—some random handle, I can't even recall... 😁

Speaking of travelers, if we’re talking chrononauts, you simply cannot ignore John Titor—he's basically the patron saint of these whole conspiracies! Honestly, I was just waxing poetic about him a few days ago during a chat with a fellow forum member. 🤣

Edit:
Last post by Borne Vokić: 🤣

Man, just cranking out posts in this thread about Skorri 😂

Guys, grab your masks—is this that local guy finally opening up his factory?