Friend won't pay back the loan we took out together

I am looking for advice, similar experiences, or even just your stories... anything at all...
I am not entirely certain if this belongs in this specific sub-forum, but I will post it here regardless...

My partner and his "friend"—a colleague from work—took out a joint loan, though legally, the paperwork was only in my partner's name.
As far as I understand, the "friend" didn't sign a single document.
Thankfully, we aren't dealing with astronomical sums of money.
The total amount was 80 $0.00. My partner took 20,000, the "friend" took 50,000, and the remaining 10 was—if I understood correctly—required for the processing fees (finance is a foreign concept to me, so please excuse my ignorance)
That is how the math breaks down.
The loan was taken out roughly four years ago (we would need to check the exact date, but it is irrelevant for now), and until about a year ago, his friend punctually handed him in cash every month (I should emphasize that, just to be clear)—amounting to 700 or $267.

To cut to the chase regarding the balance, he still owes him 40 $0.00
.
My partner has already paid off his portion of the debt; he is still paying his own, having actually taken out a new loan just to cover the old one.

Their colleagues at work are aware that they took the loan together—they know he was handing him cash every month—but I have no idea if anyone knows the specific breakdown of who received what. Beyond that, there is nothing in writing stating they were co-borrowers; even with witnesses, it essentially comes down to his word against mine.

I am well aware that the American court system is overwhelmed, that lawsuits can drag on for years, and that this is fundamentally a "he said, she said" situation—but I am genuinely curious about others' experiences or any practical advice you might offer.

If nothing else, I want to be able to show my partner a screen and say, "Well, suck it up, there's nothing you can do."

Again, thank God it isn't some life-altering fortune.

Just thinking briefly about the lack of a paper trail, several ideas come to mind.
For instance, perhaps back when they took the loan, the "friend" made a significant purchase or settled an old debt (unless he was paying off some local loan shark, which wouldn't surprise me...)—that should leave some kind of trail somewhere... hopefully.

Because practically speaking, all they have are witnesses who know they applied for the loan together and that he was handing him cash for those few years.
However, I doubt that would carry much weight in a courtroom...

But well, I figured asking a question on a forum couldn't possibly do any harm.

And I hope that on this forum, unlike many other places, there are serious people who won't just jump in with nonsense like "hire a debt collector" or other useless suggestions that do more harm than good.

Thank you.

P.S. In the middle of all this chaos, I've just realized I made a typo. lol

A real friend isn't going to leave you hanging—even if they’ve gone broke, they’ll be upfront about it and you can figure out a way through it together... this whole situation just isn't 😢... honestly, even if there's no legal paperwork forcing them to pay, that doesn't mean they don't owe you. They're probably just playing dumb at this point... have the two of them even sat down to actually talk about it yet?

I’ve dealt with plenty of situations where my partner and I would lend each other cash whenever one of us was short—sometimes for a month, sometimes for an entire year (just moving money around to cover things like housing costs and whatnot)—but everything always gets paid back. Even if it's a little late, nobody ever denies what they owe, and we're still on great terms 🙂

tough spot

legally speaking, if your guy just handed over $xy in cash to a buddy
unless they actually sat down and signed a formal loan agreement, he isn't technically obligated to pay a dime back, and honestly, he’s going to have a hell of a time proving in court that it was ever meant to be a loan at all
he could easily just claim it was a gift...
or he could just play dumb

but something else about this whole thing feels off to me, you mentioned he was handing over $700 at a time$267, but now it turns out he only paid back $10,000 total
if he really had been giving $700 installments, there should have been at least 33 of them$200

Look, he wasn't just paying back the principal. Seriously, take another look at the numbers.

What kind of principal are we even talking about here?

If he really lent him 50k$0.00, I’m betting there wasn't a cent in interest since they're buddies... and even if there was, at 15%, you'd be looking at more than 10,000, which means maybe something like 25$0.00 paid back over 4 years
...
Or maybe the interest rates are just straight-up predatory, coming from that guy the author mentioned

My bad, I totally missed that this loan was interest-free. I guess the bank just isn't looking to make a buck here; they really just seem focused on helping people out.

You say you’re an entrepreneur, but man, you’re on this forum 24/7. I really hope you hit the jackpot on some lottery ticket or something, just so your business doesn't go belly up.

Richard Lewis16 said:tough spot

legally speaking, if your guy just handed over $xy in cash to a buddy
unless they actually sat down and signed a formal loan agreement, he isn't technically obligated to pay a dime back, and honestly, he’s going to have a hell of a time proving in court that it was ever meant to be a loan at all
he could easily just claim it was a gift...
or he could just play dumb

but something else about this whole thing feels off to me, you mentioned he was handing over $700 at a time$267, but now it turns out he only paid back $10,000 total
if he really had been giving $700 installments, there should have been at least 33 of them$200

The numbers haven't always been static, nor am I privy to every single detail.
To be perfectly candid, I know my husband kept his own records in a little notebook—dated entries and all.

I haven't even mentioned half of this because I don't have the specifics and frankly, I have no desire to dive into them.
I used $700-$267 merely as an example, since that’s what he handed over a few times when I asked him just to get a sense of our household budget for the following month.

I’ve tried—or rather, I’ve been trying—not to make a fuss about the whole situation because my husband is... well, to put it bluntly, he’s a sweetheart, but he can be incredibly naive regarding these matters.

Essentially, he lent money to a friend yet again (one tearful instance, if I'm being honest) and now this person has nothing to pay back and keeps stalling on when they will—though they try to chip in at least $33 a month, despite us both knowing they simply don't have it.
But I finally hit my limit and told him quite plainly to tell me what the actual debt is, and his answer was $40,000.

Which makes sense, given that the loan he took out to cover this specific debt was $50,000.

Furthermore, I haven't read the rest of the posts yet; I'll get to that. For now, I am simply seeking perspective and advice.
I don't want to play fast and loose with exact figures—for all I know, the debt could be $39,900 or it could be $40,200.

In truth, knowing my husband, he might just be sugarcoating things to keep me from worrying, but what I know for certain is that the man hasn't paid back a single cent since December 2009.

I will save the precise accounting for when everything truly needs to be laid bare.
If that ever actually happens.

I suppose this was just my own late-night attempt at bluffing my way into some advice at 3:00 AM.

EDIT:
And no, even my husband says it isn't in his interest to have this guy pay him back immediately (perhaps the man genuinely doesn't have it) and he isn't even concerned about getting every last penny back.
If he pays back $20,000 in today's economy, that's quite a lot.

What bothers me most—and really, it's the only thing that bothers me—isn't whether the man has the funds or if the debt should be reduced or forgiven; it's the fact that someone is stringing you along with "soon, next month, tomorrow," and so on, for over a year.

Just say "I don't have it" and we can figure something out, but don't treat a former friend like an idiot.

And you know it's such a mess because there isn't even anything signed. I guess it would be great if some lawyer stepped up who actually knows how this stuff works when you have witnesses but zero paperwork. Or maybe start using those debt collection tactics companies use. Nothing aggressive, obviously. Just kind of bug him literally every single day, and then maybe start asking his relatives or neighbors about his money situation—like, if they know he's basically drowning in debt and all that... But honestly, that might just make things worse. He might just get pissed off and decide he's not paying back a single cent, and then we're right back at square one.

I’ll just lay out the raw numbers here—not because I have all the facts perfectly lined up, mind you, but because I’m working with a few scattered pieces of information myself.

So, the core issue: what are the actual options when Person A refuses to pay back Person B?
It isn't even a blunt "no" or an admission of being broke; it’s more of a perpetual "I'll get to it soon"—which, as we know, usually means never.

There is one other detail I neglected to mention in my previous mess of a post...
From our earlier conversation, I recall him mentioning he has a second property that he rents out.
Which means, effectively, there is a steady stream of monthly rental income coming in.

Secondly, he was laid off—just a victim of corporate downsizing—right before Christmas. Technically, his severance package should have been more than enough to settle everything.
But he didn't use it.

That is essentially the extent of my knowledge at this stage.

Even as I type this, I suspect I am merely typing to soothe my own conscience—because deep down, a small part of me already suspects there might not be much recourse left to take.

Honestly, that last sentence is probably the most realistic part of this whole thing. Look, sure, he could have cleared the entire debt using his severance pay, but I guess he’s just terrified of not finding a new gig anytime soon, so he’s hoarding every cent just to stay afloat. We really ought to find out how much he’s pulling in from unemployment and maybe try to talk some sense into him—get him to start chipping away at what he owes. Though, if I'm being real, I don't think that's gonna happen. Based on what you've been posting, it sounds like he stopped paying way back when he actually had a steady job. So, I really doubt he has any intention of paying that money back anytime soon (or ever, God forbid). Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make excuses for him. If I were in his shoes, I would've used my severance to settle up, or I'd have just sold my house to pay the debt off once and for all.

Mostly, if you don't have anything in writing, getting that money back becomes a massive uphill battle... and honestly, it just all comes down to whether or not your dear partner actually has a conscience when it comes to paying people back...

I actually just read somewhere on a forum yesterday that an oral agreement counts just as much as a written one. Maybe you should try starting a thread over in the Legal section, so the experts there can tell you what your best move is.

So, how exactly do you plan on proving this so-called "verbal agreement"?

If the other side just flat-out denies it ever happened—and they’ll probably claim any witnesses you bring are just buddies of yours looking out for you—all while you're basically trying to claw back money that was a gift from years ago when things were actually good between you...🤷
well, any halfway decent lawyer is going to tear that argument apart at the seams...
It might drag on forever, I suppose, but I get where you're coming from; you might as well file it and let a judge decide what's what...

Maybe do a little digging into some legal stuff first, then you'll see that an oral agreement—or just a handshake deal—is basically the same as anything in writing. Obviously, you’d need witnesses to back you up if things get messy. And seriously, I don't really feel like spending my afternoon digging through law books just to explain this to you, so maybe just look it up yourself, "entrepreneur."

You’re always typing away, acting like you’ve heard it all before, yet you never actually point to what you're talking about...

I’m just laying out what the defense can realistically argue, and what a judge is actually likely to go along with...
that witnesses shouldn't be close friends, and that any verbal agreement absolutely requires both sides to be on board...

The attorney is sitting right here next to me 😛 and we're discussing how things actually work in practice, rather than just reading what's printed in the statute books—because, well, we both know how much of that stuff matters in a real courtroom...

Mandatory relationship law, Section 287, Subsection 4.
Happy now? Look, when I tell you to go dig something up, just go find it. "Entrepreneur," my foot.

Richard Lewis16 said:You’re always typing away, acting like you’ve heard it all before, yet you never actually point to what you're talking about...

I’m just laying out what the defense can realistically argue, and what a judge is actually likely to go along with...
that witnesses shouldn't be close friends, and that any verbal agreement absolutely requires both sides to be on board...

The attorney is sitting right here next to me 😛 and we're discussing how things actually work in practice, rather than just reading what's printed in the statute books—because, well, we both know how much of that stuff matters in a real courtroom...

Wait, so you're saying the actual law doesn't matter? Then how do judges make their rulings? Based on what most people on this forum think? Or by flipping a coin? 🤣

Richard Lewis16 said:So, how exactly do you plan on proving this so-called "verbal agreement"?

If the other side just flat-out denies it ever happened—and they’ll probably claim any witnesses you bring are just buddies of yours looking out for you—all while you're basically trying to claw back money that was a gift from years ago when things were actually good between you...🤷
well, any halfway decent lawyer is going to tear that argument apart at the seams...
It might drag on forever, I suppose, but I get where you're coming from; you might as well file it and let a judge decide what's what...

You're totally right about that. It’s a huge gamble whether you can actually prove it in court.

The thing is, you still have to actually prove a contract exists, and like I mentioned before, proving that is going to be a real uphill battle

You can find plenty of similar discussions over on LexisNexis😉

I’m still struggling to wrap my head around why on earth I would end up doing your job for you🤷
If you’re out there doing everyone else's heavy lifting, well, that’s your own little problem to deal with😉

Just take a look at my very first post in this thread... skip down to the third sentence and just read from there onwards😉