Topic of the day > Is romance dead?

Robert Reyes4 said:Then you get some 70-year-old guy introducing a woman he's out with as his "girlfriend."
If they're just friends, fine. But if he's doing that in a professional setting? It just feels weird.

My late grandpa did that once. Grandma passed away pretty early, back when she was only fifty.

At some point, Grandpa met the woman he ended up living with for the rest of his life. He first introduced her when he brought her along to either my or my brother's birthday party—just as a plus-one, without mentioning beforehand he was bringing anyone. 🙂

He didn't call her his girlfriend, though. 🙂 He just called her a friend. Still felt awkward. If you're talking to important people, you should probably let them know ahead of time that there's someone special in your life. That way, the actual introduction isn't even a big deal... everyone already knows, so a name is enough.

Not that sudden "boom" moment.

Anyway, neither my mom nor my aunt really liked how it went down. I was just a kid, so I didn't care if he came with a friend or alone, but watching the adults, you could tell something was off.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter—it’s "this is my significant other," "this is my partner," "this is my wife," "this is the love of my life." It’s about the context, not just the words. "Partner" might sound a bit cold, but I’d probably go with that too if I couldn't call them a girlfriend or a wife... 🤷

Carol Fisher said:I honestly cannot fathom how anyone finds the energy to even respond to these endless soliloquies from feralranger. He’s like that faint, grating hiss of a radiator in an old apartment—just a constant, irritating background noise. It’s always the same loop: "Eros, philia... I am a photographer... a mistress, not a partner! Subterfuge, overthinking..." He cycles through the same half-dozen concepts across dozens of posts, attempting to convince this entire forum of his sheer nonsense. You can't reason with him because he firmly believes he is the sole authority on defining love itself. So, there you have it.

I would truly love to see the expressions on the faces of his interlocutors when he introduces his girlfriend as both a mistress and a friend. Epic. 🤣

TinyBulbMan wrote a brilliant post on the topic of the day, and I find myself in total agreement with his assessment.

Poor Carol Fisher, by resorting to
petty insults and a blatant ad hominem😬 attack, has effectively revealed her own emptiness.

feralranger said:As I have pointed out on more than one occasion—though clearly, my insights fall on deaf ears—in any somewhat formal setting, one typically refers to their partner as my girlfriend, wife, or boyfriend, husband, depending on the context...

And yet, I inevitably find myself being accused of "repeating myself." To those who actually pay attention, I never repeat anything. There is simply no necessity for it.

Honestly, you remind me of Zekanović. You're essentially the female version of the exact same phenomenon.

First, I was just calling myself a pauper and a whole host of other unpleasant things—I wasn't even targeting you, I was simply stating my own opinion, which has absolutely nothing to do with you personally... now, somehow, I’ve become Zekanović, a person I don't even know, though I have a nagging suspicion that you weren't exactly trying to pay me a compliment...

And you claim you aren't out there insulting people just for the sake of it. Sure, if you say so...

I don't think you actually insulted me; honestly, it’s just laughable to me how you can claim you never offend anyone without having any actual basis for such an assertion... 🤣

One should never act without a foundation. Even mantissa frequently holds opposing views, yet she doesn't carry herself like some frantic, jumping shrew. Instead, she understands that one person might find a certain way of responding insulting, while another might find an entirely different approach equally offensive.

Furthermore, if someone feels "offended" by the truth, that is quite simply not my concern. The server maintains a record of all entries, preserved in their exact chronological order. It remains perfectly clear who entered this discussion fueled by nothing but pure contempt, and who—quite rightfully—brought a self-important, condescending woman back down to earth.

Is this really my first leap into this thread, after having already laid out my own definition of romance? 🤔

Fine. Go ahead and lash out; insults are clearly your specialty, and honestly, it’s probably the only thing you're actually good at...

If you find such satisfaction in being petty, then by all means, let it rip.

She’s completely lost—and honestly, the philosophies being tossed around in this topic and across the entire forum just prove it.

Back to the topic of the day, I don't think we lost the thread... I still see stuff like "Ann, I love you" scrawled on a brick wall, or more mature signs of affection, like some guy walking down a street in Chicago clutching a bouquet of flowers. So, it really comes down to the individual... either you have that spark in you or you don't.

Usually, people go all out at the start of a relationship. Some folks just stop doing it, while others? It’s just who they are. They're just naturally more attentive.

Morgan Newman7 said:Back to the topic of the day, I don't think we lost the thread... I still see stuff like "Ann, I love you" scrawled on a brick wall, or more mature signs of affection, like some guy walking down a street in Chicago clutching a bouquet of flowers. So, it really comes down to the individual... either you have that spark in you or you don't.

Usually, people go all out at the start of a relationship. Some folks just stop doing it, while others? It’s just who they are. They're just naturally more attentive.

The reality is that most people don't actually possess the capacity to "nurture" love; instead, they settle for mere "partnerships," even if they once functioned as true lovers or intimate friends. Once a relationship degrades to that level—or if it was nothing more than a partnership from the very start—any attempt at a "romantic gesture" feels awkward, misplaced, and frankly, quite grotesque.

But, as I mentioned before, I still highly recommend watching that documentary featuring Josip Lisac.

It’s not like the romance is dead or anything. Actually, I think it's still there. 🙂

It’s just that—compared to how things used to be—romance feels way less obvious to people looking for it nowadays. Why? Because we have a million ways to talk and hang out without even being in the same room. That whole "ritual" side of flirting has basically vanished—you know, back when there were actual rules for how and where you’d meet someone? Back when showing up with a bouquet was a given, or when the neighbors would give you a hard time through the window because they saw you heading out all dressed up and looking sharp...

Edit:
And about this whole debate over what to call people... Look, I live in a long-term domestic partnership, and I don't have any issue calling my partner my "partner" when I'm talking to folks who haven't met her. Usually, I just say "my wife"—mostly because it’s quicker and easier—but I've definitely had people push back on me before, telling me I can't call her my wife until I actually put a ring on her finger, so... 🙂

northerntiger92 said:It’s not like the romance is dead or anything. Actually, I think it's still there. 🙂

It’s just that—compared to how things used to be—romance feels way less obvious to people looking for it nowadays. Why? Because we have a million ways to talk and hang out without even being in the same room. That whole "ritual" side of flirting has basically vanished—you know, back when there were actual rules for how and where you’d meet someone? Back when showing up with a bouquet was a given, or when the neighbors would give you a hard time through the window because they saw you heading out all dressed up and looking sharp...

Edit:
And about this whole debate over what to call people... Look, I live in a long-term domestic partnership, and I don't have any issue calling my partner my "partner" when I'm talking to folks who haven't met her. Usually, I just say "my wife"—mostly because it’s quicker and easier—but I've definitely had people push back on me before, telling me I can't call her my wife until I actually put a ring on her finger, so... 🙂

Then you're just degrading her by calling her that 😢.

😁

northerntiger92 said:It’s not like the romance is dead or anything. Actually, I think it's still there. 🙂

It’s just that—compared to how things used to be—romance feels way less obvious to people looking for it nowadays. Why? Because we have a million ways to talk and hang out without even being in the same room. That whole "ritual" side of flirting has basically vanished—you know, back when there were actual rules for how and where you’d meet someone? Back when showing up with a bouquet was a given, or when the neighbors would give you a hard time through the window because they saw you heading out all dressed up and looking sharp...

Edit:
And about this whole debate over what to call people... Look, I live in a long-term domestic partnership, and I don't have any issue calling my partner my "partner" when I'm talking to folks who haven't met her. Usually, I just say "my wife"—mostly because it’s quicker and easier—but I've definitely had people push back on me before, telling me I can't call her my wife until I actually put a ring on her finger, so... 🙂

Trends, largely driven by media influence, generally seem to be drifting toward superficiality and the intellectual thinning of the masses... and accordingly, the situation appears "worse" if one views it strictly through the lens of their own neighborhood. Yet, at the very same time, information technology—precisely because of the factors you mentioned—enables a person to connect with someone incredibly distant, someone with whom our fathers and grandfathers would never have crossed paths in any previous era.

Romance isn't dead—honestly, if it were, I don't know where we'd be. It’s really found in those small, everyday moments: a quick text, making sure you have your coffee exactly how you like it, a glass of wine, just a walk together... there are endless ways to show someone you care.
Personally, I live for those little gestures. But as for those big, public displays of affection? Like someone proposing at a concert or in the middle of a stadium... no thanks. That feels more like a performance for an audience than anything else. I’d much rather be asked during a random walk or a deep conversation—something spontaneous, maybe without even a ring, just something coming straight from the heart.

When it comes to what a relationship should actually be called, the word "partnership" carries the most weight for me. To my mind, being partners means being equals in everything—not just when it comes to intimacy or raising kids, but in every single aspect of life.

If my boyfriend or partner ever introduced me to someone as just a "mistress" or something similar, he’d be in serious trouble. 😁

Even if we were just dating, I'd prefer him to introduce me as a friend, or just by my name, rather than using some label like "girlfriend."

Alex Morgan32 said:Romance isn't dead—honestly, if it were, I don't know where we'd be. It’s really found in those small, everyday moments: a quick text, making sure you have your coffee exactly how you like it, a glass of wine, just a walk together... there are endless ways to show someone you care.
Personally, I live for those little gestures. But as for those big, public displays of affection? Like someone proposing at a concert or in the middle of a stadium... no thanks. That feels more like a performance for an audience than anything else. I’d much rather be asked during a random walk or a deep conversation—something spontaneous, maybe without even a ring, just something coming straight from the heart.

When it comes to what a relationship should actually be called, the word "partnership" carries the most weight for me. To my mind, being partners means being equals in everything—not just when it comes to intimacy or raising kids, but in every single aspect of life.

If my boyfriend or partner ever introduced me to someone as just a "mistress" or something similar, he’d be in serious trouble. 😁

Even if we were just dating, I'd prefer him to introduce me as a friend, or just by my name, rather than using some label like "girlfriend."

Oh, really? I suppose I should probably mention that to my potential business partner (the one I might actually launch a startup with) and my current romantic partner (the one I play tennis with) at the same time. Since "partnership" supposedly encompasses "everything," by that logic, she’d have an equal claim to my anatomy alongside my tennis racket. lol. I have a sneaking suspicion my girlfriend might take issue with such a broad interpretation of the contract. 😁

So, how exactly would a (romantic) message or letter sound under these terms?

It would likely start with something like: My dear partner... (has anyone ever actually written something quite that clinical? 🤔 )

feralranger said:Oh, really? I suppose I should probably mention that to my potential business partner (the one I might actually launch a startup with) and my current romantic partner (the one I play tennis with) at the same time. Since "partnership" supposedly encompasses "everything," by that logic, she’d have an equal claim to my anatomy alongside my tennis racket. lol. I have a sneaking suspicion my girlfriend might take issue with such a broad interpretation of the contract. 😁

So, how exactly would a (romantic) message or letter sound under these terms?

It would likely start with something like: My dear partner... (has anyone ever actually written something quite that clinical? 🤔 )

And you consider a business partner and a tennis partner to be the same thing? There are different types of partnerships.

I'm not going to descend to that level to explain it to you because it feels a bit pointless. I've stated my opinion, so feel free to call your lady whatever you like.

Alex Morgan32 said:And you consider a business partner and a tennis partner to be the same thing? There are different types of partnerships.

I'm not going to descend to that level to explain it to you because it feels a bit pointless. I've stated my opinion, so feel free to call your lady whatever you like.

Good morning. Of course they aren't, which is precisely the point I am trying to make to you. It is for that very reason that such a "technical" term is utterly ill-suited for a relationship that—if one follows my particular line of thinking—ought to be rooted in love. That rather crude expression only emerged because... Through the process of Americanization—specifically via English influence—everything shifts.Honestly, we live in a country where they’ve gone ahead and legalized prenuptial agreements—essentially turning romance into a cold, calculated business merger rather than anything resembling actual love. It’s all about protecting assets and managing partnerships now, reducing human connection to nothing more than a series of strategic, premeditated transactions.

Alex Morgan32 said:And you consider a business partner and a tennis partner to be the same thing? There are different types of partnerships.

I'm not going to descend to that level to explain it to you because it feels a bit pointless. I've stated my opinion, so feel free to call your lady whatever you like.

Oh, you’re really going to say that to me? Honestly, I should have expected nothing less from you. 🤣 Oh, look at you, delivering wisdom from your lofty celestial heights. Truly, we are all blessed by such profound insight. LOL.

Hmm, romance. What does that even mean? It usually implies this palpable attraction or love between two people that manifests in some tangible way... but I’ve always been a pretty grounded person. For me, romance is more practical. It’s finding someone who actually helps you dig your car out of a snowbank after your summer tires fail you.
I tend to develop romantic feelings pretty quickly, though, uh... mostly once we're already married...
Or maybe just when my partner helps me zip up a dress. Now that's something.
And don't even get me started on receiving a poem... oh boy.

You're the only one sleeping in my heart, darling,
know that I'll love you as long as I live,
while you're awake and even through your nightmares,
no matter who you are, know that I love you.

I'm not one for grand gestures,
though I'd gladly be that man,
it seems I simply had to meet you,
to finally learn how to show my heart.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Dec 20th. Is romance officially dead?

The other day, Aljehin asked me on the chat what romance actually means to me. I’ll admit, I had to pause and really think before I could give an answer.
How do you all define romance? And when was the last time you actually did something romantic—or better yet, experienced it?

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This topic was pulled from the 146th post of the topic of the day.

She’s lost in this era. It’s like nobody gives a damn about building actual, meaningful connections anymore. Social media just speeds up the decay, turning people into mindless robots and arrogant snobs who couldn't care less about anyone else. They measure their entire worth by follower counts and likes. It makes them self-important, sure, but it also makes them cold. People shut down, closing their hearts off just to feed their own massive egos. Is that really how we want to live? Of course, it doesn't apply to everyone, but looking at the state of things, I'd say it applies to a huge chunk of the population. These digital distractions are rotting people from the inside out, replacing real human values with nothing but vanity.
When was the last time I actually felt something romantic? Honestly, it’s been ages. Long story short: a lifetime ago.

Ethan Bennett16 said:Why would it be lost? It’s right where it has always been... tucked away in the intimacy between two people, found in those small, quiet gestures that bring a smile to someone's face and make the mundane parts of the day feel a little lighter.
Or am I missing the mark on what real romance is?

Maybe the opening question is referring to those grand, sweeping gestures—the kind where one person performs for an audience of mutual friends just to prove how serious and deep their connection is. If that's the case, I'm fairly certain that isn't romance; it's just a desperate craving to have everyone staring at their "epic" love story.

Spot on, Tiny.

Ethan Bennett16 said:Why would it be lost? It’s right where it has always been... tucked away in the intimacy between two people, found in those small, quiet gestures that bring a smile to someone's face and make the mundane parts of the day feel a little lighter.
Or am I missing the mark on what real romance is?

Maybe the opening question is referring to those grand, sweeping gestures—the kind where one person performs for an audience of mutual friends just to prove how serious and deep their connection is. If that's the case, I'm fairly certain that isn't romance; it's just a desperate craving to have everyone staring at their "epic" love story.

Spot on. Some people think putting on a big public display just to show off counts as romance. It doesn't. That’s just performance art. You nailed it.

Nah.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Dec 20th. Is romance officially dead?

The other day, Aljehin asked me on the chat what romance actually means to me. I’ll admit, I had to pause and really think before I could give an answer.
How do you all define romance? And when was the last time you actually did something romantic—or better yet, experienced it?

___________________________________
This topic was pulled from the 146th post of the topic of the day.

It’s not dead, it’s just been hijacked by corporations. You see it everywhere: "Romantic weekend getaway in NYC for $X," or "Treat your better half to a fancy Valentine's Day at our restaurant," or "Celebrate the holidays with Ferrero Rocher," and so on and so forth.
Nobody is out here advertising stuff like, "Surprise your partner by having a spotless, vacuumed house regardless of what day it is"—there's just zero magic in that.😬

I’m really not a fan of those big public displays of affection, begging for attention, or posting anniversary tributes all over social media—that kind of thing is just 🤮 to me. But doing something small, just for her (for us), just so she knows I want to make her day special? Yeah, that's the good stuff.🙂

Last summer, we were sipping cocktails at this lounge bar. There was a light breeze, a table right by the ocean away from all the crowds... it was 👍

hiddenbadger14 said:It’s not dead, it’s just been hijacked by corporations. You see it everywhere: "Romantic weekend getaway in NYC for $X," or "Treat your better half to a fancy Valentine's Day at our restaurant," or "Celebrate the holidays with Ferrero Rocher," and so on and so forth.
Nobody is out here advertising stuff like, "Surprise your partner by having a spotless, vacuumed house regardless of what day it is"—there's just zero magic in that.😬

I’m really not a fan of those big public displays of affection, begging for attention, or posting anniversary tributes all over social media—that kind of thing is just 🤮 to me. But doing something small, just for her (for us), just so she knows I want to make her day special? Yeah, that's the good stuff.🙂

Last summer, we were sipping cocktails at this lounge bar. There was a light breeze, a table right by the ocean away from all the crowds... it was 👍

👍
Love is proven through actions, not mere words.