I lost my temper and cursed God at my mom, and now I feel terrible

Karen Cook7 said:You guys are all coddling her and policing my language like it’s a crime—honestly, everything is fine. Her mother spent two hours crying over nothing, even though she doesn't even believe in God.

Based on what she's posting, she isn't the one who needs help—it's her mom.

Wait, why am I the one getting flack for swearing, while nobody seems to care that she basically went for a skullcap?
You're downplaying what she did, yet somehow my behavior is the big issue here?

The author actually has a diagnosis—maybe try reading the title of the PDF thread you're replying to.
Her posts clearly show nothing but pure frustration with a mother's manipulation and coldness.

feralpilot0 said:The author actually has a diagnosis—maybe try reading the title of the PDF thread you're replying to.
Her posts clearly show nothing but pure frustration with a mother's manipulation and coldness.

I suppose you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Honestly, it seems like she cares way more about maintaining this image of being the perfect, superior person in front of her daughter-in-law, her father, or even her own mother, than she does about my actual well-being.

velvetstag5 said:Swearing like that isn't good for you. It doesn't accomplish anything; in fact, if

God exists, then it's really bad. You directed that toward the greatest good.

The reason your mom was crying might be because she realized how vulnerable you are and that you

hurt her, so she feels for you. That would actually be a good sign and give hope for things getting better.

However, if she was crying just because she felt insulted, then that's totally

disrespectful!

Why? Because she's putting herself and her own ego first, which means she loves

and respects herself more than her own child.

That's not a healthy way to grow. It's bad for everyone.

I have to admit, I've found myself dwelling on this exact same thought before.
In my estimation, she was likely crying because of her own ego.
And frankly, this isn't even the first time a situation like this has played out.

Richard Rodriguez17 said:I suppose you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Honestly, it seems like she cares way more about maintaining this image of being the perfect, superior person in front of her daughter-in-law, her father, or even her own mother, than she does about my actual well-being.

So, you’re essentially entering that stage where you realize the only person capable of looking out for your interests is... well, you.
It's a bitter pill to swallow—but honestly? There's a certain liberation in it, too.

Richard Rodriguez17 said:In my family, the word "sorry" just doesn't exist in our vocabulary, so I didn't exactly offer an apology.
I mean, I spoke in this sort of repentant tone, but honestly, I was just pissed off at the time.

And I suppose that’s supposed to count as an apology, if you want to be technical about it.

It’s not like I’m out here cursing God on a daily basis—I rarely swear, really. But she and my father curse me a million times a day, and I just take it.

Is it really such a massive sin to curse God?

Would it have actually made things easier for her if I had just said, "Screw you"?

I did say that once, just one time, and all she said to me was, "Well, my mother is dead." 😵😵

Get out of there. What you're describing isn't a healthy environment for anyone. You all live under one roof; it's normal to lose your cool and swear at the heavens occasionally. Who wouldn't in that situation? It was the same at my place, and I finally found myself once I moved out.
Move out, then work on your relationship with your parents from a distance.
And this thing where your mother mocks you about your weight... 🤦how old is she, twelve? That's how kids in middle school act.

Karen Cook7 said:I'm reading through this thread—probably just because it was the first one I saw. I’m not really part of this crowd, and I doubt I’ll even bother replying to anything else here.😁

Richard Rodriguez17, what is actually wrong with you? You're an ego-driven mess. Honestly, the last person on Earth who could stand you is probably your own mother, and you've driven her right to the edge.

Seriously, you cursed God right in front of her and she spent two hours in tears.
She doesn't care about you, or any future daughter-in-law, or even God at this point—she's clearly just exhausted dealing with all of you.
Just catering to your little tantrums.
On top of that, you're so full of yourself, thinking the entire world should be revolving around you.

Looking at how much you complain, it seems like you blame everyone else for your own flaws—medication, a niece, your dad, your brother... you could go on forever.

Maybe try working on your self-esteem a bit. It shouldn't involve taking your frustrations out on your family like this.

I wouldn't call that true love; she seems to have no one in this world besides her mother, and if I'm sensing correctly, her own mother doesn't really have anyone either except herself. It makes me wonder if her parents aren't on speaking terms.

darksurfer4 said:I wouldn't call that true love; she seems to have no one in this world besides her mother, and if I'm sensing correctly, her own mother doesn't really have anyone either except herself. It makes me wonder if her parents aren't on speaking terms.

Yeah, my mom and dad don't really see eye to eye, I guess. It's hard to put their relationship into words, honestly. For the most part, Mom leans most heavily on my brother and the grandkids, while I just sort of exist on the periphery...

My psychiatrist thinks moving out isn't the right move for me right now. He seems to feel that I'm just not quite strong enough or independent enough to pull off something like that yet.

Richard Rodriguez17 said:Yeah, my mom and dad don't really see eye to eye, I guess. It's hard to put their relationship into words, honestly. For the most part, Mom leans most heavily on my brother and the grandkids, while I just sort of exist on the periphery...

My psychiatrist thinks moving out isn't the right move for me right now. He seems to feel that I'm just not quite strong enough or independent enough to pull off something like that yet.

Forget about what's happening right now, or what your shrink thinks—even if he's being pretty blunt about your weight—and what he's suggesting as an option... what do *you* think? Are you actually strong and independent enough (and not so wrapped up in yourself and your own struggle) to handle something like that?

Richard Rodriguez17 said:Yeah, my mom and dad don't really see eye to eye, I guess. It's hard to put their relationship into words, honestly. For the most part, Mom leans most heavily on my brother and the grandkids, while I just sort of exist on the periphery...

My psychiatrist thinks moving out isn't the right move for me right now. He seems to feel that I'm just not quite strong enough or independent enough to pull off something like that yet.

But look—he doesn't live under your roof 24/7. He doesn't actually see how capable you are when it comes to standing on your own two feet and handling your own business.

So, I guess... has anything actually changed? Like, did the whole situation shift at all? Or maybe the feelings about it? Did they change?

I lost my cool and cursed out my son's mother. He told me that wasn't how you raise kids, which stung a bit, but hey—we all have our moments. 😳

I just happened to notice what she’s got written right under her avatar—calling herself an "idiot." Honestly, it’s just tacky to go around labeling yourself that way; it screams a massive lack of self-confidence and basic self-respect. Now, look, I’m certainly no saint—I’ve struggled with my own bouts of insecurity in my time—but even at my lowest, I never had the decency to sit there and write to myself that I was some kind of moron or anything along those lines.

So, what exactly did you say to her?

I mean, just be nice about it—tell her "sorry, Mom," and then maybe add a little, "please don't touch my window again unless you want me to lose my cool!" 😆

darksurfer4 said:I just happened to notice what she’s got written right under her avatar—calling herself an "idiot." Honestly, it’s just tacky to go around labeling yourself that way; it screams a massive lack of self-confidence and basic self-respect. Now, look, I’m certainly no saint—I’ve struggled with my own bouts of insecurity in my time—but even at my lowest, I never had the decency to sit there and write to myself that I was some kind of moron or anything along those lines.

Then you’ve got the people who know they're idiots—just like everyone else—and don't mind owning it. Maybe it's meant to be a nudge for others to reflect, to show some empathy or compassion... which wouldn't necessarily mean low self-esteem, but maybe just having enough guts to use actual self-criticism constructively?

Everyone messes up. People get reactive. It happens. But shouldn't you think twice and try to fix things before you do something you can't take back? Like, "I lost it and cursed God's mother, now I feel like crap." The issue is feeling bad, and then trying to fix that feeling. Isn't that just pure selfishness?

Maybe people use their moms as a tool just to stop feeling guilty, but if "fixing" a broken relationship means shouting "screw you" at someone—which isn't even a curse, really, it's more like... Mary, the Virgin, the immaculate conception... whatever...—nobody ever stops to wonder about God. How does He feel?

He's a main character in this whole story, and He's even in the title, yet nobody sees Him. Nobody asks how He feels... especially when people use profanity against Him to somehow score points for their "artistic" expression of power. It's just not right...

My apologies, but is a title truly a prerequisite just to open a thread?

Richard Rodriguez17 said:I ended up cursing God at my mom in a fit of rage, and now I’m just sitting here feeling terrible about it. She actually started crying.

I’m currently on antidepressants, so I guess I’ve been feeling a bit more aggressive lately.

It all started because she wanted to close the window I had opened—it was just getting so stuffy in my room, you know? So, she walks into my room and asks why the window is open, I tell her not to close it, but she insists on doing things her way anyway, and then I just snapped and started cursing God... I even told her I have to curse God because she won't listen to me. Honestly, I was already worked up from an earlier conversation we had, plus my brother's little kid made a huge mess in my room, and I had to clean it all up, so I was already on edge. Those are just some of the reasons, I suppose, or maybe they're just excuses for why I acted out.

I did mention to my psychiatrist that I've become more aggressive and irritable since starting the medication, and he basically just shrugged and said it's normal since I used to be more self-destructive before this.

The thing is, my mom isn't a believer at all, so I don't really get why it hit her so hard, especially since I'm an atheist myself. She cried for nearly two hours, and then later she just completely ignored me when I asked if she was still going out with my sister-in-law like they planned. I eventually went into her room to ask if she was still mad, and she just looked at me and said, "I did everything I possibly could for you, and this is how I'm being repaid."

Am I actually a piece of work here, or is she just piling guilt on me for no reason?

You aren't a bad person just because you had an impulsive reaction. We all snap at someone every once in a while. My parents have lost their cool with me before, too, but it never lasted long because they know it's not who I really am. A little sulking and then it's over. Besides, I've seen them react to their own parents the exact same way.

You can always apologize, but you should also try explaining that you're going through a sensitive phase right now, dealing with antidepressants, and that you need some understanding.

jadetinker85 said:I lost my cool and cursed out my son's mother. He told me that wasn't how you raise kids, which stung a bit, but hey—we all have our moments. 😳

🤣👍

Linda Lee4 said:You aren't a bad person just because you had an impulsive reaction. We all snap at someone every once in a while. My parents have lost their cool with me before, too, but it never lasted long because they know it's not who I really am. A little sulking and then it's over. Besides, I've seen them react to their own parents the exact same way.

You can always apologize, but you should also try explaining that you're going through a sensitive phase right now, dealing with antidepressants, and that you need some understanding.

That was exactly how it went down. Thanks for the advice.

Please understand, you aren't the one at fault here.
Your mother’s tears are a reflection of her own internal struggle, not a reaction to anything you have done.
She is simply leveraging your empathy to manipulate the situation.
It is time to find some inner grit and begin carving out an independent life, separate from the suffocating dynamics of your family unit.
In their eyes, you are the "weak link," but in reality, you are merely the mirror reflecting their dysfunction—you are actually the healthiest person in that entire circle.
Do not let her, or anyone else, convince you otherwise; you carry no blame for this.
She has refused to respect your boundaries, constantly intruding upon your life and causing friction, and your anger is a perfectly natural response to that intrusion.
You have every right to feel this way.

Man, some people really have no filter. Cursing at God like that...