People who stare at you

What goes through people's heads like that?

Like, I was doing the Census about a month ago.
The last person on my list was this older Mexican woman with dark hair.
At first, we were just chatting normally, and she looked pretty disheveled and unkempt. But as we kept talking, she suddenly sat up straight, leaned in, and started staring at me like a cat eyeing a mouse... had I stumbled onto some nymphomaniac? What is actually going on in their minds?

The vibe got super weird, and it felt like my questions didn't even matter anymore. To make things interesting, older women usually dig me... but it was like she was waiting for me to make the first move. I managed to wrap up the interview, but I just couldn't find the guts to ask her what that look was all about....

Who knows what goes on inside the heads of people like that, but you notice a pattern. People who actually care enough to ask usually get shut down. It’s like they just don't have the guts to face a question like that head-on. Honestly, watching them squirm is kind of entertaining. You see this same reaction over and over when you start poking at them... It’s weird how some people get so uncomfortable just being watched. Like they can feel your eyes on them, almost like a wireless signal hitting them, which—let's be real—they shouldn't be feeling if they want to act tough.

It gets even weirder when they try to play it cool. They’ll stare someone down, but the second they realize they're being watched back, they fold. They can't hold the gaze. Even if they try to be brave and look someone straight in the eye, they end up looking away almost immediately. Besides the obvious lack of backbone, I wonder what else is going on in their heads? There’s definitely that whole "cat and mouse" vibe playing out, too.

Virtual self-help training.

ironrider11 said:Who knows what goes on inside the heads of people like that, but you notice a pattern. People who actually care enough to ask usually get shut down. It’s like they just don't have the guts to face a question like that head-on. Honestly, watching them squirm is kind of entertaining. You see this same reaction over and over when you start poking at them... It’s weird how some people get so uncomfortable just being watched. Like they can feel your eyes on them, almost like a wireless signal hitting them, which—let's be real—they shouldn't be feeling if they want to act tough.

It gets even weirder when they try to play it cool. They’ll stare someone down, but the second they realize they're being watched back, they fold. They can't hold the gaze. Even if they try to be brave and look someone straight in the eye, they end up looking away almost immediately. Besides the obvious lack of backbone, I wonder what else is going on in their heads? There’s definitely that whole "cat and mouse" vibe playing out, too.

Virtual self-help training.

Online self-help training.[/I]

I also wonder if people who stare like that are actually high intelligence, testing if the other person can handle the pressure. Which, yeah, brings up those sexual undertones about whether they can handle things in bed too... lol.

I'm curious about that too, I guess.
There’s this one girl who keeps looking my way, but it's like she has this specific "look" that says something... no, I don't want to get ahead of myself or start daydreaming, I'm just noticing things.

What’s actually going through someone's head when they just... look down?

Timothy Mitchell2 said:Online self-help training.[/I]

I also wonder if people who stare like that are actually high intelligence, testing if the other person can handle the pressure. Which, yeah, brings up those sexual undertones about whether they can handle things in bed too... lol.

Look, if you’re actually happy with your brain—even if it isn't exactly top tier but gets the job done well enough—you don't need to perform. You can just relax. You don't have to go through all that theatrical nonsense just to pretend you're some genius for show. When you see some ninety-year-old looking totally lost in their own head, trying to lock eyes with them just makes you wonder how much stamina those old folks even have left in the bedroom...🤷

Charles Young56 said:I'm curious about that too, I guess.
There’s this one girl who keeps looking my way, but it's like she has this specific "look" that says something... no, I don't want to get ahead of myself or start daydreaming, I'm just noticing things.

Yeah, other people's eyes are just mirrors... not their souls. Maybe they're just mirrors for whatever the observer is projecting onto them (usually something sexual)...

unknown

ironrider11 said:Yeah, other people's eyes are just mirrors... not their souls. Maybe they're just mirrors for whatever the observer is projecting onto them (usually something sexual)...

Go ahead, kill the messenger! Yeah, fine, I'm just some old-school guy who spends his free time thinking about older women. Rightttt

Thinking about mature women, yeah, but NOT "grandmas"... and she wasn't even that old, she was in her prime. She had this crazy energy, like a charisma that just totally froze me up.

But honestly, even with someone your own age, you can tell when there's chemistry. As for why I didn't make a move...

ironrider11 said:Yeah, other people's eyes are just mirrors... not their souls. Maybe they're just mirrors for whatever the observer is projecting onto them (usually something sexual)...

No, like I said, I'm not fantasizing. 🙂
I'm just noticing things.

Timothy Mitchell2 said:unknown

Go ahead, kill the messenger! Yeah, fine, I'm just some old-school guy who spends his free time thinking about older women. Rightttt

Thinking about mature women, yeah, but NOT "grandmas"... and she wasn't even that old, she was in her prime. She had this crazy energy, like a charisma that just totally froze me up.

But honestly, even with someone your own age, you can tell when there's chemistry. As for why I didn't make a move...

No, I'm not suggesting anyone is a gerontophile. Quite the opposite—I'm saying it's statistically probable that someone might just stare at someone without any sexual connotation involved in the whole process of "staring." What kind of "weird energy" did this "woman in her prime" have? Like, what kind of observation process were you using to detect this "energy"? Was her hair standing up and "something wild in the air" crackling with high-voltage static electricity?

Even with a girl (or guy) who isn't a "woman in her prime," you can tell when there's chemistry? Where's this chemistry? Does it always exist? Maybe deep down, beneath your conscious thought, you know it doesn't work that way, yet you still believe it does. Is this whole thing about "women with weird energy and charisma in their prime..." just a mental construct fueled by sexual undertones? Is that why you didn't do anything?

Charles Young56 said:No, like I said, I'm not fantasizing. 🙂
I'm just noticing things.

Well... Must be a high-quality antenna and receiver then, supposedly. 🕺

unknown

Timothy Mitchell2 said:What goes through people's heads like that?

Like, I was doing the Census about a month ago.
The last person on my list was this older Mexican woman with dark hair.
At first, we were just chatting normally, and she looked pretty disheveled and unkempt. But as we kept talking, she suddenly sat up straight, leaned in, and started staring at me like a cat eyeing a mouse... had I stumbled onto some nymphomaniac? What is actually going on in their minds?

The vibe got super weird, and it felt like my questions didn't even matter anymore. To make things interesting, older women usually dig me... but it was like she was waiting for me to make the first move. I managed to wrap up the interview, but I just couldn't find the guts to ask her what that look was all about....

There you go again with this woman story. 😁 Just go back and ask her what that look meant.

I once stared at a redhead so hard I briefly forgot there was actually a human being inside that body; I was just watching him watch me like he was some kind of Martian. And it wasn't even from across the room—we were face to face. 😳 Then he smiled, and I snapped out of it.🤷 You should have just smiled too. 😉

The way this intro starts is just plain rude.

What actually shocks me more is how people stare without even realizing how obvious they're being.

I notice it most often when I'm out with someone who has a disability.

It’s like these people have zero self-awareness. It's weird to me, because I know for a fact I'd never intentionally gawk at someone like that.

I don't know—personally, whenever someone stares me down, I just assume I've got a smudge of ketchup or something on my face...

Nicholas Bailey3 said:I don't know—personally, whenever someone stares me down, I just assume I've got a smudge of ketchup or something on my face...

When they stare at me, I figure they're just practicing telepathy on me. 🤔

Jamie Adams6 said:What’s actually going through someone's head when they just... look down?

Well, I suppose looking away is just a classic sign of submission in our culture. But since you already know all that and never bother to lower your gaze, I guess you're just confused why everyone else does. Is it really that hard to grasp?
I find certain individuals quite baffling; I mean, don't they realize that if we make eye contact five times and then I happen to glance away—just to make it look completely accidental on my part—that I'm signaling a total lack of interest in any kind of connection? Yet, they keep staring. They think they’re exerting some sort of dominance, but in my estimation, they just come across as socially oblivious. Personally, I have no trouble maintaining intense eye contact... people actually tell me I tend to stare a bit too long during conversations... It seems like a mix of genuine interest and a touch of neurodivergence, or perhaps insecurity coupled with a lack of social cues. I guess without that certain level of detachment, it's all just a mess.

Laura Jones56 said:Well, I suppose looking away is just a classic sign of submission in our culture. But since you already know all that and never bother to lower your gaze, I guess you're just confused why everyone else does. Is it really that hard to grasp?
I find certain individuals quite baffling; I mean, don't they realize that if we make eye contact five times and then I happen to glance away—just to make it look completely accidental on my part—that I'm signaling a total lack of interest in any kind of connection? Yet, they keep staring. They think they’re exerting some sort of dominance, but in my estimation, they just come across as socially oblivious. Personally, I have no trouble maintaining intense eye contact... people actually tell me I tend to stare a bit too long during conversations... It seems like a mix of genuine interest and a touch of neurodivergence, or perhaps insecurity coupled with a lack of social cues. I guess without that certain level of detachment, it's all just a mess.

Whenever I think back to this one guy with Asperger's (which is pretty much what I called him to his face), it gives me the chills. Honestly, he just got under my skin so much that looking back, I feel like screaming, "What do you even want?!" But, well, I was being myself—polite and composed, I guess. 🕺

unknown

Maria Price3 said:Whenever I think back to this one guy with Asperger's (which is pretty much what I called him to his face), it gives me the chills. Honestly, he just got under my skin so much that looking back, I feel like screaming, "What do you even want?!" But, well, I was being myself—polite and composed, I guess. 🕺

It’s true, though; they either completely withdraw or they lean in way too hard. I guess it happens when they start treating eye contact as some sort of mandatory social requirement without actually grasping the nuance of how it works. Though, more often than not, direct eye contact seems to be an uncomfortable distraction for them.
"Eyes are distracting, you see too much, you don't see enough. And-And it's hard to focus when you're thinking, um, 'Oh, those whites are really white', or, 'He must have hepatitis', or, 'Oh, is that a burst vein?' So, yeah, I try to avoid eyes whenever possible." — This is what Will Graham from Hannibal, a character who is supposedly on the spectrum, says. 😬 .

Jamie Adams6 said:What’s actually going through someone's head when they just... look down?

Insecurity. Simple as that.
In the US, you see it all the time in service jobs—you can tell right away if someone actually knows how to hold eye contact during a conversation.
Basic manners dictate that you look people in the eye when you talk to them. If you can't manage that, you just end up looking uneducated or like you have zero self-confidence.

Just another "if looks could kill" take on some "staring into space" self-help nonsense.