Seeking advice from the pros/veterans

I’m 26 right now, and lately, I keep catching myself thinking about how differently I would’ve handled things five or six years ago if I actually had the wisdom I have today—and honestly, it feels like that feeling is only going to grow as I get older...
I’m really trying not to dwell on it or be negative, but there are definitely some things I regret, which is why I want to try and "learn from other people's mistakes" instead!
I wanted to start this thread because I’d love to hear from the older, more experienced, and wiser crowd—what would you go back and do differently if you could turn back the clock? And what advice would you give to me or anyone else reading this?
I’m curious about how you’d set your priorities, where you’d focus your energy, how you’d approach picking partners or friends, taking risks, setting goals, or even those things you wish you'd accomplished before it was too late... basically, anything that comes to mind!

To wrap in my own little contribution for those who are younger than me...
Cut ties with relationships that are clearly dead ends (you know, the ones filled with constant fighting, jealousy, and that exhausting cycle of breaking up and making up every other day).
If you’re in college, grab every opportunity you can find—don't just sit around being lazy! Study abroad programs, internships, summer work trips... there is so much out there (I talk about this all the time with my friends).
Hit the gym! Even if you don't think you're "that kind of person," just give it a shot—trust me on this one.
Money shouldn't always be an excuse to stay stagnant, because there are plenty of part-time student jobs out there that pay decently well, offer super flexible hours, and help you meet new people and build a resume.
Don't rely on other people to move your life forward—if there's something you're passionate about, just go out and do it yourself.

Can't wait to read your advice! 😊

Don't eat the yellow snow
It's hardly worth gambling with the seafood.
Try to make better calls next time
Ignore everyone else's advice
☕

Nicholas Bailey3 said:Don't eat the yellow snow
It's hardly worth gambling with the seafood.
Try to make better calls next time
Ignore everyone else's advice
☕

I’m not necessarily looking for a lecture—it’s more that I’m curious about how people who have actually been through the wringer think, you know? Like, where did they stumble along the way? 🙂 I'm standing at a bit of a crossroads right now, sooo...
Thanks anyway! 😊

Jessica Collins34 said:I’m not necessarily looking for a lecture—it’s more that I’m curious about how people who have actually been through the wringer think, you know? Like, where did they stumble along the way? 🙂 I'm standing at a bit of a crossroads right now, sooo...
Thanks anyway! 😊

Honestly, my own experience might not be much help here—what I’d tell my 26-year-old self probably won't apply to you, so giving general advice feels a bit hollow. Beyond the standard "use your head and work hard," the biggest pitfall is trying to find solutions to your problems in other people instead of looking inward—in your own mind and your own actions.

If there's something specific on your mind, feel free to lay it out..

Nicholas Bailey3 said:Honestly, my own experience might not be much help here—what I’d tell my 26-year-old self probably won't apply to you, so giving general advice feels a bit hollow. Beyond the standard "use your head and work hard," the biggest pitfall is trying to find solutions to your problems in other people instead of looking inward—in your own mind and your own actions.

If there's something specific on your mind, feel free to lay it out..

I don't really have any massive problems hanging over me...
Regarding my current dilemma—before the whole pandemic craziness hit, I was living in Germany, working and saving up to buy a little place back home in America. I fully intended to move back and actually start a career in my field. Now, I've been back in the States for about 10 months, and I'm totally torn between leaving again or staying put... because if I head back to Germany for another two or three years, I worry it might make things harder when it comes to starting a family later on.
Then I look at the relationships and marriages of the people around me, and I honestly can't tell if I'm the crazy one or if they are! I have one friend getting married to a long-term boyfriend she spent more time crying over than laughing with—she's told me a hundred times how much she hates him just as much as she loves him. Another friend is madly in love with a guy who basically trashes an entire bar whenever he drinks too much... stuff like that.
I'm definitely willing to make some compromises, but I find myself wondering: what kind of compromises do you *actually* have to make just to stay with someone? And where do you draw the line on what's considered "normal"? Or am I just holding onto unrealistic expectations that will eventually fade once my biological clock starts ticking, haha?

I just thought I could learn a few lessons from watching what others go through.

When it comes to whether you stay or go, that's entirely on you—you’re the one who has to live with the fallout. You can play it your way and make whatever call you want.

As for the guy, please—don't waste your breath on some loser. What would he actually bring to the table if he sat down to figure out a future with you? Absolutely nothing. He’d just throw around big words and empty promises, then resort to whining and throwing a tantrum the second things didn't go his way.

Just be patient. Your family isn't going anywhere if they're truly your people.

- Trust your gut. It’s rarely wrong, I guess.
- Put yourself first. Just make sure you still respect the people who actually matter to you.
- Learn how to actually like yourself. That’s where everything starts, maybe.
- Get a handle on what you're actually good at.
- Don't rush things. Don't be impatient. Just take life and its decisions one slow, steady step at a time.

Partner:
I mean, you need someone who actually brings out the best in you, you know? Someone where you can actually see a roadmap for where things are headed. It shouldn't just be aimless. You need a person you can actually grow alongside over the long haul—someone who acts as your biggest supporter instead of just being some constant roadblock in your life.

Career:
The world is getting smaller every day, so seriously, don't just limit yourself to what's happening here in the States. Go out there and do your homework on other places. Dig into the specifics, because I guess those little details are what really complete the picture... and honestly, they're what make life worth living.
Don't go thinking you're some outsider just because you moved. I mean, you're only a stranger in a place if that’s how you choose to feel.

And yeah, just listen to your gut..

Thanks, everyone! 😊

Listen up, parents. Just because your kid finally hit adulthood doesn't mean they suddenly gained a lifetime of wisdom overnight.

The future is what matters
What happened before is ancient history