Am I an alcoholic?

Carl Brown152 said:So, what’s your definition then? Is it someone who actually stops to wonder if they have a problem? Or is it about hitting some specific limit? Does it have to mess up your life first? Just curious...

With alcoholism, if you're even sitting there questioning where the limit is, you've already passed it. But hey, feel free to debate with yourself whether your habits are "normal" or not. It's your life and your addiction.

The practical way to define any kind of addiction isn't really about how many ounces of alcohol someone gulps down in a sitting, but rather whether their entire demeanor and emotional state would absolutely crater if they couldn't get their hands on a drink for, say, ten days straight. If just the thought of being without it sends you into a spiral of pure anxiety and dread, then yeah, you’re looking at an addiction, plain and simple. If a person can't even navigate their daily life without it, that's the bottom line... We aren't going to measure addiction by the ounce, nor are we going to base it on some subjective feeling or the unsolicited opinions of every old lady on the block (and that includes my own 😁)

Donna Martin said:The practical way to define any kind of addiction isn't really about how many ounces of alcohol someone gulps down in a sitting, but rather whether their entire demeanor and emotional state would absolutely crater if they couldn't get their hands on a drink for, say, ten days straight. If just the thought of being without it sends you into a spiral of pure anxiety and dread, then yeah, you’re looking at an addiction, plain and simple. If a person can't even navigate their daily life without it, that's the bottom line... We aren't going to measure addiction by the ounce, nor are we going to base it on some subjective feeling or the unsolicited opinions of every old lady on the block (and that includes my own 😁)

I'm actually leaning more toward this definition myself. Though, honestly? If someone chooses to live that way, let them do their thing. Their life, their choices... who am I to judge? You never really know what someone's been through to end up there anyway.

briskbison47 said:It’s always the guy drinking the most who gets labeled the alcoholic. It reminds me of this one guy I knew—a total regular at the local pub—who tried to convince me he wasn't an alcoholic just because he drinks water alongside his whiskey.
Alcoholism is a tough pill to swallow.

Exactly. I actually had someone tell me—this person was literally on a waiting list for a liver transplant—that their liver issues were supposedly just from eating too much greasy fast food, and not from years and years of heavy drinking. It's a bit much, I suppose.

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Donna Martin said:The practical way to define any kind of addiction isn't really about how many ounces of alcohol someone gulps down in a sitting, but rather whether their entire demeanor and emotional state would absolutely crater if they couldn't get their hands on a drink for, say, ten days straight. If just the thought of being without it sends you into a spiral of pure anxiety and dread, then yeah, you’re looking at an addiction, plain and simple. If a person can't even navigate their daily life without it, that's the bottom line... We aren't going to measure addiction by the ounce, nor are we going to base it on some subjective feeling or the unsolicited opinions of every old lady on the block (and that includes my own 😁)

I wouldn't go that far. Alcoholism sneaks up on you incredibly slowly—so slowly, in fact, that the drinker doesn't even realize it's happening. They'll end up calling anyone who tries to point out the truth "crazy." By the time someone actually starts questioning the habit, they're usually already too deep in...
It's a slow-moving addiction that manifests in all sorts of ways, often masked by cultural norms that excuse getting wasted under the guise of tradition. You know the drill: a glass of wine with dinner for "heart health," or a shot of whiskey for "medicinal purposes," blah blah blah...

mellowskipper said:Exactly. I actually had someone tell me—this person was literally on a waiting list for a liver transplant—that their liver issues were supposedly just from eating too much greasy fast food, and not from years and years of heavy drinking. It's a bit much, I suppose.

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The only way I'd see that guy on a transplant list is if he were already dead. ☕

Carl Brown152 said:I'm actually leaning more toward this definition myself. Though, honestly? If someone chooses to live that way, let them do their thing. Their life, their choices... who am I to judge? You never really know what someone's been through to end up there anyway.

I’m not judging either, per se, but I wouldn’t say I’m feeling particularly empathetic about it.

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mellowskipper said:I’m not judging either, per se, but I wouldn’t say I’m feeling particularly empathetic about it.

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I’ve never had much patience for alcoholics. One of the biggest side effects of addiction is that loss of impulse control, which usually leads to violence, and that's just not something I can stand.
It's especially grating when they play the perfect citizen in public, only to go home and terrorize their families with their delusions.
Honestly, I couldn't care less how they ended up as addicts. It's just pathetic.

briskbison47 said:I wouldn't go that far. Alcoholism sneaks up on you incredibly slowly—so slowly, in fact, that the drinker doesn't even realize it's happening. They'll end up calling anyone who tries to point out the truth "crazy." By the time someone actually starts questioning the habit, they're usually already too deep in...
It's a slow-moving addiction that manifests in all sorts of ways, often masked by cultural norms that excuse getting wasted under the guise of tradition. You know the drill: a glass of wine with dinner for "heart health," or a shot of whiskey for "medicinal purposes," blah blah blah...

It sneaks up on you, and if you actually try to confront them, they’ll turn on you instantly, acting like you’ve lost your mind just for suggesting it. They’ll swear up and down that they could go five years without a single drop if they wanted to, but hey, they aren't "an alcoholic," so they don't have to prove anything to anyone. But if you actually manage to force them to stay sober for even a few days? Their hands start shaking, they spiral into delirium, and things get incredibly ugly, very fast...
Admitting you're an alcoholic takes massive guts, which is exactly why that's the very first thing you have to say when you walk into an AA meeting.

mellowskipper said:I’m not judging either, per se, but I wouldn’t say I’m feeling particularly empathetic about it.

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Look, I have empathy—it just depends on the person, you know? Like, how they act and if they're actually hurting anyone else.

briskbison47 said:With alcoholism, if you're even sitting there questioning where the limit is, you've already passed it. But hey, feel free to debate with yourself whether your habits are "normal" or not. It's your life and your addiction.

🤷😁 To be real, I don't care about the technical definition of addiction or anything. For me, it’s all about how someone behaves—and how that affects their own life.

Donna Martin said:It sneaks up on you, and if you actually try to confront them, they’ll turn on you instantly, acting like you’ve lost your mind just for suggesting it. They’ll swear up and down that they could go five years without a single drop if they wanted to, but hey, they aren't "an alcoholic," so they don't have to prove anything to anyone. But if you actually manage to force them to stay sober for even a few days? Their hands start shaking, they spiral into delirium, and things get incredibly ugly, very fast...
Admitting you're an alcoholic takes massive guts, which is exactly why that's the very first thing you have to say when you walk into an AA meeting.

Those sound like extreme cases, though. People here seem to be saying alcoholism is more like, I don't know, having one too many over the weekend and realizing you crossed a line, so next time you try to scale it back. Or am I totally missing the point? 🤷

Carl Brown152 said:Look, I have empathy—it just depends on the person, you know? Like, how they act and if they're actually hurting anyone else.

🤷😁 To be real, I don't care about the technical definition of addiction or anything. For me, it’s all about how someone behaves—and how that affects their own life.

Do you honestly think an alcoholic is even aware of how they're acting?

Carl Brown152 said:Those sound like extreme cases, though. People here seem to be saying alcoholism is more like, I don't know, having one too many over the weekend and realizing you crossed a line, so next time you try to scale it back. Or am I totally missing the point? 🤷

Look, having a few drinks on the weekend isn't exactly some massive crisis, at least in my book, but if I recall that first post correctly, we're actually looking at someone drinking almost every single day

briskbison47 said:Do you honestly think an alcoholic is even aware of how they're acting?

Someone drinking all day long—probably not. Some people just act like jerks and happen to be drunk while doing it... it's not always the booze that's the problem, right?

Carl Brown152 said:Someone drinking all day long—probably not. Some people just act like jerks and happen to be drunk while doing it... it's not always the booze that's the problem, right?

I'm with you on this one, 100%

Carl Brown152 said:Someone drinking all day long—probably not. Some people just act like jerks and happen to be drunk while doing it... it's not always the booze that's the problem, right?

The deeper an alcoholic sinks into addiction, the more similar their behavior becomes. That’s just the nature of alcoholism. It’s actually quite easy to tell what stage someone is in just by the specific phrases they use when they're wasted.
But fine, if you want to look at it that way, go ahead. A "drunk" is someone who has completely lost their inhibitions, not just some guy having a little something with lunch.

briskbison47 said:Do you honestly think an alcoholic is even aware of how they're acting?

How so? Well, if you practice anything enough, you get pretty damn good at it. I knew this guy back in the nineties—real high-roller type running his own accounting firm. Every single morning, he was the first one at the Starbucks across from the office. Suit, tie, briefcase, perfectly groomed, smelling like expensive cologne... a total gentleman. Honestly, someone you'd want to emulate. But this guy? He’d be shaking like a leaf before he could pour himself his first "fuel." After maybe two shots of whatever he was drinking, the tremors would settle down, and he'd be ready to conquer the corporate world...

He’d top off throughout the day, too. A stressful workday takes its toll. If you weren't paying attention to his little routine, you'd just see a consummate professional staying within the lines. Someone who lives that lifestyle, rituals and all. When you watch him, you aren't just seeing an alcoholic or seeing the booze—it's part of him now. You're seeing his behavior. It's all about how you do it; practice makes perfect, or whatever...

There are different breeds of alcoholics out there. You’ve got the steady sippers—the ones who just nurse a drink all day and somehow stay upright—and then you’ve got the ones with absolutely zero off switch, people who just chase the blackout until they hit the floor. At first glance, the second group looks worse, doesn't it? But honestly, they hit the wall much sooner. They face the music fast. The sippers? They can lie to themselves for decades.

Take that woman mentioned in the original post, claiming she knocks back half a liter of wine every single day. To me, that sounds like science fiction. I was always a lightweight; there is no universe where I could sip half a liter of wine and just sit there acting normal. I used to be able to stay stone-cold sober for stretches, but once I finally cracked? It was game over. I’d go from nothing to slamming two or three liters of hard liquor a day, only to wake up a week later in some random town in Ohio, having no clue who I was with or how I even got there.

The symptoms just kept getting more violent. By the time I hit 30, I had no choice but to quit. The seizures were getting worse, the sweating, the tremors... it was brutal. I stumbled a few times after that, sure, but I’ve been clean since I was 32. That’s eight years now. Meanwhile, some of my old drinking buddies are still stuck in the cycle because they weren't like me—they thought they "knew" how to control it. Now? Their marriages are trashed and they're drowning in debt.

It’s weird that there aren't more active threads about alcoholism going on here, or maybe I just missed something? Because in the real world, this thing is everywhere.

I just wanted to share a bit of my own experience—that specific moment when you realize you've actually become an alcoholic. Back when I was a teenager, if I went out drinking and ended up breaking up with some girl, I’d take ownership of it. It felt like my life, my mistakes, my stuff. But then it happened to me in my early 20s. Suddenly, when I'm drinking heavily, I don't even feel like I'm participating anymore. Once the hangover hits, I'm just totally detached from everything that happened. It’s like those hours were stolen from me. They don't feel like "my" memories anymore; it’s more like someone else lived through them while I was blacked out. I guess that's the exact moment the alcohol takes over everything. And then the cycle starts all over again, because even on the days you aren't wasted, you find yourself needing a little nudge just to reclaim that lost time and feel like a normal person.

Most people are problematic consumers. If you're shaking without a drink and going through withdrawal is a health risk, then you’re an alcoholic.