Mental health struggles and "offers you can't refuse

I’ve been talking about this for days with a few friends—people who haven't dealt with mental health struggles and can't quite grasp what I'm going through right now. That’s why I’m turning to you all; I’m hoping for some constructive advice, and maybe—if I’m being honest—just a little bit of support.

For those who missed my previous posts here, here is the situation: about two years ago, I went through a psychotic episode. I was on heavy medication at first, then gradually tapered down until I reached a somewhat stable state. However, alongside that past episode, I developed generalized anxiety disorder, which—it feels to me—is actually causing more damage.

Right now, I find myself in a really difficult chapter of my life. The psychosis hit shortly after I graduated from college. During my studies, there were so many opportunities on the table—everything from grad school scholarships to high-level career paths. In short, a real career was within reach. But the psychosis stalled everything. My father—who has always been incredibly supportive and was planning to help me financially so I could build a solid foundation for my career—was understanding about it all. He even found me a job, though I specifically asked for something with very light professional demands and reduced hours. I had already essentially written off my career prospects, just trying to scrape by because of the cognitive deficits I was feeling. It’s been like this for several years.

After work, I just lie in bed. I don't really have hobbies; I occasionally see someone, but my emotions feel totally numbed out. I spend my time idling and making vague plans for some distant future when "everything finally falls into place." Essentially, I'm just stuck. A few months ago, I started having these recurring dreams about getting older—about life passing me by while I remain completely stationary. Those dreams were the breaking point; I'm starting to feel this internal drive to move, especially since I've been living in chronic poverty and total hopelessness.

I've been speaking with my psychiatrist, who encourages me by saying I'm intellectually very strong, and my boss, who told me he’s "finally glad to see me snap out of it and stop wasting my talent." Suddenly, overnight, I’m starting to receive offers that most people would kill for—opportunities they’ve spent years working toward. They’re practically being served to me on a silver platter because I made such a great impression during my time in school and early work. The problem is, I feel like I don't even have the strength to pick up the plate.

I am being offered a great job along with a scholarship for further education. Ever since the offer came in, I haven't been able to sleep properly. The moment I heard the news, my ears felt clogged, my thoughts turned into complete chaos, and my concentration plummeted to the point where I can barely read a few sentences. It feels like my own body is sabotaging itself, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm glad that I'm finally motivated and that I actually *want* to get out of bed, but I’m haunted by massive questions: CAN I ACTUALLY HANDLE THESE NEW AND SERIOUS CHALLENGES, AND WILL I DESTROY MY HEALTH BY TRYING?

I'm paralyzed. I'm being handed opportunities that any "normal" person would grab in a heartbeat, but I'm not normal. I'm struggling with intense anxiety.

People tell me that, in the end, I have nothing to lose—that I should just go for it because they don't see any "glitch" in me that would hold me back. But I feel that glitch deep inside. I am terrified of failing and of letting these opportunities slip away.

Does anyone have any advice? I'll take anything. Are there any general trends or statistics regarding people with psychological struggles when it comes to handling complex tasks and advanced learning?

Ever since this career wind was blown in my direction, I've lost all sense of time. I'm completely frazzled, spiraling through hundreds of different scenarios in my head—some of them truly irrational. What should I do?

HELP!

For the professionals: I'm currently taking 1x 150 mg Quetiapine SR, 2x 0.5 Klonopin, and 1x 75 mg Pregabalin.

Olivia Smith2 said:I’ve been talking about this for days with a few friends—people who haven't dealt with mental health struggles and can't quite grasp what I'm going through right now. That’s why I’m turning to you all; I’m hoping for some constructive advice, and maybe—if I’m being honest—just a little bit of support.

For those who missed my previous posts here, here is the situation: about two years ago, I went through a psychotic episode. I was on heavy medication at first, then gradually tapered down until I reached a somewhat stable state. However, alongside that past episode, I developed generalized anxiety disorder, which—it feels to me—is actually causing more damage.

Right now, I find myself in a really difficult chapter of my life. The psychosis hit shortly after I graduated from college. During my studies, there were so many opportunities on the table—everything from grad school scholarships to high-level career paths. In short, a real career was within reach. But the psychosis stalled everything. My father—who has always been incredibly supportive and was planning to help me financially so I could build a solid foundation for my career—was understanding about it all. He even found me a job, though I specifically asked for something with very light professional demands and reduced hours. I had already essentially written off my career prospects, just trying to scrape by because of the cognitive deficits I was feeling. It’s been like this for several years.

After work, I just lie in bed. I don't really have hobbies; I occasionally see someone, but my emotions feel totally numbed out. I spend my time idling and making vague plans for some distant future when "everything finally falls into place." Essentially, I'm just stuck. A few months ago, I started having these recurring dreams about getting older—about life passing me by while I remain completely stationary. Those dreams were the breaking point; I'm starting to feel this internal drive to move, especially since I've been living in chronic poverty and total hopelessness.

I've been speaking with my psychiatrist, who encourages me by saying I'm intellectually very strong, and my boss, who told me he’s "finally glad to see me snap out of it and stop wasting my talent." Suddenly, overnight, I’m starting to receive offers that most people would kill for—opportunities they’ve spent years working toward. They’re practically being served to me on a silver platter because I made such a great impression during my time in school and early work. The problem is, I feel like I don't even have the strength to pick up the plate.

I am being offered a great job along with a scholarship for further education. Ever since the offer came in, I haven't been able to sleep properly. The moment I heard the news, my ears felt clogged, my thoughts turned into complete chaos, and my concentration plummeted to the point where I can barely read a few sentences. It feels like my own body is sabotaging itself, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm glad that I'm finally motivated and that I actually *want* to get out of bed, but I’m haunted by massive questions: CAN I ACTUALLY HANDLE THESE NEW AND SERIOUS CHALLENGES, AND WILL I DESTROY MY HEALTH BY TRYING?

I'm paralyzed. I'm being handed opportunities that any "normal" person would grab in a heartbeat, but I'm not normal. I'm struggling with intense anxiety.

People tell me that, in the end, I have nothing to lose—that I should just go for it because they don't see any "glitch" in me that would hold me back. But I feel that glitch deep inside. I am terrified of failing and of letting these opportunities slip away.

Does anyone have any advice? I'll take anything. Are there any general trends or statistics regarding people with psychological struggles when it comes to handling complex tasks and advanced learning?

Ever since this career wind was blown in my direction, I've lost all sense of time. I'm completely frazzled, spiraling through hundreds of different scenarios in my head—some of them truly irrational. What should I do?

HELP!

For the professionals: I'm currently taking 1x 150 mg Quetiapine SR, 2x 0.5 Klonopin, and 1x 75 mg Pregabalin.

But I have to ask: why on earth are you still asking basic questions on a forum when you've been on this treatment plan for over two years now?

I honestly don't know; two years is plenty of time to learn something—about the world or about yourself. If you're supposedly doing well with the learning part, why haven't you bothered to study your own emotions or your own psyche?

Seriously, we're talking about two full years, not some forty-eight-hour stint. In my eighteen months of dealing with this, I’ve practically devoured psychology textbooks, practiced meditation, and done the deep work of understanding myself, my family, and my surroundings.

By now, you really should realize that a career won't bring you any peace if it clashes with who you actually are; it will just trigger anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. Not to mention the splitting, depersonalization, derealization, and neurosis—all of which, based on what you've told us, you're already struggling with.

briskpuma6 said:But I have to ask: why on earth are you still asking basic questions on a forum when you've been on this treatment plan for over two years now?

I honestly don't know; two years is plenty of time to learn something—about the world or about yourself. If you're supposedly doing well with the learning part, why haven't you bothered to study your own emotions or your own psyche?

Seriously, we're talking about two full years, not some forty-eight-hour stint. In my eighteen months of dealing with this, I’ve practically devoured psychology textbooks, practiced meditation, and done the deep work of understanding myself, my family, and my surroundings.

By now, you really should realize that a career won't bring you any peace if it clashes with who you actually are; it will just trigger anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. Not to mention the splitting, depersonalization, derealization, and neurosis—all of which, based on what you've told us, you're already struggling with.

I'm not sure what kind of mental health struggles you've faced. Psychosis is a 10/10 on the difficulty scale. For me, that first year was spent essentially flushing out psychotic thoughts, only for anxiety to start creeping in afterward.

If I hadn't been lucky enough to love reading—and if I hadn't used metacognition to recognize the psychosis while putting in massive effort to seek psychiatric help on my own—I would have ended up in a much worse place.

It is entirely possible to have absolute clarity regarding yourself and your environment while still struggling mentally. Even psychiatrists can fall victim to psychosis and anxiety. Theory is one thing, but practice is quite another, isn't it?

As I mentioned, I struggled with reading and cognition in general; I was fully aware that I was using sleep as an escape from reality. But again, theory and practice are different worlds. I pursued individual psychotherapy, which led to a general sense of improvement. Now, however, I find myself feeling uncertain—these life patterns are emerging where I feel like a complete novice, and these issues feel like such heavy obstacles. Naturally, your self-confidence takes a hit during times like this. No matter how much logic I apply or how aware I am of the situation, I can't predict how I'll actually react. I don't think anyone truly can—though perhaps someone else here has walked a similar path?

I've never been one to chase money or status, yet I find myself in this paradoxical spot. It feels like all or nothing. My options aren't exactly endless, and the best one has presented itself as the only one.

And yes, it would be a career and a field of study that has always sparked my intellectual curiosity.

Olivia Smith2 said:I'm not sure what kind of mental health struggles you've faced. Psychosis is a 10/10 on the difficulty scale. For me, that first year was spent essentially flushing out psychotic thoughts, only for anxiety to start creeping in afterward.

If I hadn't been lucky enough to love reading—and if I hadn't used metacognition to recognize the psychosis while putting in massive effort to seek psychiatric help on my own—I would have ended up in a much worse place.

It is entirely possible to have absolute clarity regarding yourself and your environment while still struggling mentally. Even psychiatrists can fall victim to psychosis and anxiety. Theory is one thing, but practice is quite another, isn't it?

As I mentioned, I struggled with reading and cognition in general; I was fully aware that I was using sleep as an escape from reality. But again, theory and practice are different worlds. I pursued individual psychotherapy, which led to a general sense of improvement. Now, however, I find myself feeling uncertain—these life patterns are emerging where I feel like a complete novice, and these issues feel like such heavy obstacles. Naturally, your self-confidence takes a hit during times like this. No matter how much logic I apply or how aware I am of the situation, I can't predict how I'll actually react. I don't think anyone truly can—though perhaps someone else here has walked a similar path?

I've never been one to chase money or status, yet I find myself in this paradoxical spot. It feels like all or nothing. My options aren't exactly endless, and the best one has presented itself as the only one.

And yes, it would be a career and a field of study that has always sparked my intellectual curiosity.

I honestly feel a lot like you do. I've gone through two psychotic episodes and I've been on medication for eight years now. Some days are fine, but other times it feels like my logic and concentration are just shot. To be blunt, I feel totally unfit for work because of this crushing insecurity, and it feels like people just don't have the patience for me. My relationship with my family isn't exactly great either, even though they try to help in their own way. Truthfully, I've had plenty of good opportunities in life, but I've blown almost every single one because my self-confidence hit rock bottom. Honestly, anxiety is a brutal thing, and it takes a long time to learn how to live with it. If you haven't lived it, you won't understand. If your therapy isn't working, find a new therapist or switch psychiatrists—that's really all I can tell you. After eight years, I can't say I've "arrived" anywhere, other than having given up on everything, but that doesn't mean your story will end the same way. I think the first step is figuring out if your current treatment actually fits you, then deciding what comes next. Just stay away from alcohol, drugs, and all that other crap.

Yeah, it can really knock you sideways, almost like dealing with a stroke. Even though we tend to categorize mental health struggles into different boxes, honestly, every single one is its own unique battle.

If those medications are actually helping you stay on track—you know, holding down a job, sleeping through the night, eating right, getting some downtime—then you really need to give yourself some credit. You’re doing great. Like I’ve mentioned before, mental health issues can be incredibly debilitating, and unfortunately, sometimes they leave a lasting mark on a person.

What you really need to lean into right now is focus. Try to ground yourself in the "now" instead of spiraling over what *might* happen. If you feel like you can tackle something, just give it a shot. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, just hit the brakes, take a breath, and try a different angle from scratch.

At the end of the day, anxiety usually stems from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. For someone dealing with an anxiety disorder, the real struggle is finding a way to stay present in the moment. It sounds simple, but if you can manage to channel your energy into something specific—like a project at work, for example—all that anxiety starts to fade into the background.

It’s pretty much the same story with most struggles; once you find something else to pour your attention into, everything else becomes secondary.

Of course, you have to be realistic about what you can handle. But generally speaking, getting back out there, socializing, and finding some kind of work or routine is vital for recovery.

Olivia Smith2 said:I’ve been talking about this for days with a few friends—people who haven't dealt with mental health struggles and can't quite grasp what I'm going through right now. That’s why I’m turning to you all; I’m hoping for some constructive advice, and maybe—if I’m being honest—just a little bit of support.

For those who missed my previous posts here, here is the situation: about two years ago, I went through a psychotic episode. I was on heavy medication at first, then gradually tapered down until I reached a somewhat stable state. However, alongside that past episode, I developed generalized anxiety disorder, which—it feels to me—is actually causing more damage.

Right now, I find myself in a really difficult chapter of my life. The psychosis hit shortly after I graduated from college. During my studies, there were so many opportunities on the table—everything from grad school scholarships to high-level career paths. In short, a real career was within reach. But the psychosis stalled everything. My father—who has always been incredibly supportive and was planning to help me financially so I could build a solid foundation for my career—was understanding about it all. He even found me a job, though I specifically asked for something with very light professional demands and reduced hours. I had already essentially written off my career prospects, just trying to scrape by because of the cognitive deficits I was feeling. It’s been like this for several years.

After work, I just lie in bed. I don't really have hobbies; I occasionally see someone, but my emotions feel totally numbed out. I spend my time idling and making vague plans for some distant future when "everything finally falls into place." Essentially, I'm just stuck. A few months ago, I started having these recurring dreams about getting older—about life passing me by while I remain completely stationary. Those dreams were the breaking point; I'm starting to feel this internal drive to move, especially since I've been living in chronic poverty and total hopelessness.

I've been speaking with my psychiatrist, who encourages me by saying I'm intellectually very strong, and my boss, who told me he’s "finally glad to see me snap out of it and stop wasting my talent." Suddenly, overnight, I’m starting to receive offers that most people would kill for—opportunities they’ve spent years working toward. They’re practically being served to me on a silver platter because I made such a great impression during my time in school and early work. The problem is, I feel like I don't even have the strength to pick up the plate.

I am being offered a great job along with a scholarship for further education. Ever since the offer came in, I haven't been able to sleep properly. The moment I heard the news, my ears felt clogged, my thoughts turned into complete chaos, and my concentration plummeted to the point where I can barely read a few sentences. It feels like my own body is sabotaging itself, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm glad that I'm finally motivated and that I actually *want* to get out of bed, but I’m haunted by massive questions: CAN I ACTUALLY HANDLE THESE NEW AND SERIOUS CHALLENGES, AND WILL I DESTROY MY HEALTH BY TRYING?

I'm paralyzed. I'm being handed opportunities that any "normal" person would grab in a heartbeat, but I'm not normal. I'm struggling with intense anxiety.

People tell me that, in the end, I have nothing to lose—that I should just go for it because they don't see any "glitch" in me that would hold me back. But I feel that glitch deep inside. I am terrified of failing and of letting these opportunities slip away.

Does anyone have any advice? I'll take anything. Are there any general trends or statistics regarding people with psychological struggles when it comes to handling complex tasks and advanced learning?

Ever since this career wind was blown in my direction, I've lost all sense of time. I'm completely frazzled, spiraling through hundreds of different scenarios in my head—some of them truly irrational. What should I do?

HELP!

For the professionals: I'm currently taking 1x 150 mg Quetiapine SR, 2x 0.5 Klonopin, and 1x 75 mg Pregabalin.

Honestly, it all comes down to what kind of work challenge we're talking about. If the job is something that actually brings you peace and a sense of fulfillment, then yeah, it’ll probably have a positive effect. But if it’s one of those high-pressure gigs that just cranks up your anxiety, spikes your fears, and leaves you feeling totally overwhelmed by the demands... man, you probably shouldn't dive into that. It'll just end up wrecking your mental health even more...

Reading your words, I suspect the medication isn't working. You claim there is no progress after two years of treatment. Something feels off. If the therapy were effective, wouldn't you feel more like yourself? 🤔

I’m honestly not sure what to tell you. I didn't deal with full-blown psychosis, just "only" anxiety, yet even that was enough to sideline me from a career that would be demanding for any average, healthy person anyway.

If the job is decent and doesn't demand intense, non-stop concentration, I’d probably give it a shot if I were in your shoes.

Laura Castillo6 said:Yeah, it can really knock you sideways, almost like dealing with a stroke. Even though we tend to categorize mental health struggles into different boxes, honestly, every single one is its own unique battle.

If those medications are actually helping you stay on track—you know, holding down a job, sleeping through the night, eating right, getting some downtime—then you really need to give yourself some credit. You’re doing great. Like I’ve mentioned before, mental health issues can be incredibly debilitating, and unfortunately, sometimes they leave a lasting mark on a person.

What you really need to lean into right now is focus. Try to ground yourself in the "now" instead of spiraling over what *might* happen. If you feel like you can tackle something, just give it a shot. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, just hit the brakes, take a breath, and try a different angle from scratch.

At the end of the day, anxiety usually stems from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. For someone dealing with an anxiety disorder, the real struggle is finding a way to stay present in the moment. It sounds simple, but if you can manage to channel your energy into something specific—like a project at work, for example—all that anxiety starts to fade into the background.

It’s pretty much the same story with most struggles; once you find something else to pour your attention into, everything else becomes secondary.

Of course, you have to be realistic about what you can handle. But generally speaking, getting back out there, socializing, and finding some kind of work or routine is vital for recovery.

As soon as I was discharged from the hospital, my family assumed I was exactly the same as I was before. There was immediate pressure to find a "normal" job right away. Whether I liked it or not, I ignored them and spent my days in bed because I knew the psychotic episodes hadn't fully cleared out yet. But I realize now that I have to take a step forward—to break out of this cycle of just eating and sleeping. The job I'm doing currently is only for a few hours; I can't make a living with it.

Off-topic: I also found the constant push to exercise and do recreational activities at the hospital so frustrating. On the inside, nothing is actually changing; you just look better to people on the outside. I didn't see any real benefit from it. The psychiatrists kept grilling me about whether I was working, and when I told them I worked a few hours a day, they acted like that was perfectly fine. I kept telling them repeatedly that I can't live off that income and that I'm constantly going into debt, but they just didn't seem to care.

Donna White50 said:Honestly, it all comes down to what kind of work challenge we're talking about. If the job is something that actually brings you peace and a sense of fulfillment, then yeah, it’ll probably have a positive effect. But if it’s one of those high-pressure gigs that just cranks up your anxiety, spikes your fears, and leaves you feeling totally overwhelmed by the demands... man, you probably shouldn't dive into that. It'll just end up wrecking your mental health even more...

Exactly. For me, even the thought of any kind of work used to trigger anxiety and worry. But now? I just don't have the luxury of time anymore. I honestly don't know where my limits are, considering I haven't tried anything or even moved from my spot in two years.

Carl Cox3 said:Reading your words, I suspect the medication isn't working. You claim there is no progress after two years of treatment. Something feels off. If the therapy were effective, wouldn't you feel more like yourself? 🤔

I'm not entirely sure if my current medication dosage is hitting the mark—but let's be honest, psychiatry can feel incredibly limited sometimes. When I'm on the stronger stuff, I feel much calmer—though my cognitive clarity definitely takes a hit. Once the dose drops, my mental sharpness returns—but then I'm left dealing with nervousness and tremors. It’s just one endless cycle, isn't it?

Jack Jones7 said:I’m honestly not sure what to tell you. I didn't deal with full-blown psychosis, just "only" anxiety, yet even that was enough to sideline me from a career that would be demanding for any average, healthy person anyway.

If the job is decent and doesn't demand intense, non-stop concentration, I’d probably give it a shot if I were in your shoes.

I feel like I need to try anything at this point—really, anything. I realize that even for someone off their medication, just getting moving again after all this time would be a struggle, not to mention worrying. In my case, it feels several degrees more intense than that. I have to give it a shot, if only to see where my limits actually lie? Nothing makes sense right now, other than the fact that I am terrified—honestly, these last few days have been a total nightmare. 😢

Olivia Smith2 said:As soon as I was discharged from the hospital, my family assumed I was exactly the same as I was before. There was immediate pressure to find a "normal" job right away. Whether I liked it or not, I ignored them and spent my days in bed because I knew the psychotic episodes hadn't fully cleared out yet. But I realize now that I have to take a step forward—to break out of this cycle of just eating and sleeping. The job I'm doing currently is only for a few hours; I can't make a living with it.

Off-topic: I also found the constant push to exercise and do recreational activities at the hospital so frustrating. On the inside, nothing is actually changing; you just look better to people on the outside. I didn't see any real benefit from it. The psychiatrists kept grilling me about whether I was working, and when I told them I worked a few hours a day, they acted like that was perfectly fine. I kept telling them repeatedly that I can't live off that income and that I'm constantly going into debt, but they just didn't seem to care.

Exactly. For me, even the thought of any kind of work used to trigger anxiety and worry. But now? I just don't have the luxury of time anymore. I honestly don't know where my limits are, considering I haven't tried anything or even moved from my spot in two years.

I'm not entirely sure if my current medication dosage is hitting the mark—but let's be honest, psychiatry can feel incredibly limited sometimes. When I'm on the stronger stuff, I feel much calmer—though my cognitive clarity definitely takes a hit. Once the dose drops, my mental sharpness returns—but then I'm left dealing with nervousness and tremors. It’s just one endless cycle, isn't it?

I feel like I need to try anything at this point—really, anything. I realize that even for someone off their medication, just getting moving again after all this time would be a struggle, not to mention worrying. In my case, it feels several degrees more intense than that. I have to give it a shot, if only to see where my limits actually lie? Nothing makes sense right now, other than the fact that I am terrified—honestly, these last few days have been a total nightmare. 😢

.I honestly can't make sense of anything lately, other than feeling constant fear—it's been a total nightmare these past few days. :

The media has really ramped up this fear-mongering campaign over the last year. I'd suggest staying away from it entirely—unless you feel like you actually need to feed into that negativity. It's your call, I suppose.

...I felt immediate pressure to find some "normal" job ASAP... Just the thought of any work at all was causing me anxiety and worry... I feel like I might just have to try anything.

A "normal" job usually implies financial security, but given the current global climate of fear, instability, and what feels like an intentional economic meltdown, that doesn't mean much. Even without these forced stressors, a standard job isn't a guarantee of happiness. Even if you inherited billions and had top-tier social status, that's still just material security; you're just avoiding dissatisfaction caused by lack, which is really just the lowest level of needs. No amount of money guarantees fulfillment because there are so many higher levels of needs to consider.
When picking a career, or really anything else, I think you should go with whatever draws you in more or gets you excited—something that boosts your energy.
On a scale of 1 to 10—where 1 is a job so soul-crushing you're debating whether to jump off a bridge or just take it, and 10 is a divine opportunity you can't resist, where you feel like you're in heaven and have enough energy to power the sun—just look at what's available and pick whatever is even slightly better than the rest. If your only options are 1, 1.18, or 1.19, then grab the 1.19. If you have a 7 or higher, always choose what attracts you most. Not just in work, but in everything. You'll be happier if you do what makes you happy. Things aren't perfect, and you still have to worry about bills, but I guess you should just pick the best thing currently on the table and keep choosing better things until you hit those double digits. Choosing based on your own criteria is a pretty powerful thing.

graniteridge31 said:

.I honestly can't make sense of anything lately, other than feeling constant fear—it's been a total nightmare these past few days. :

The media has really ramped up this fear-mongering campaign over the last year. I'd suggest staying away from it entirely—unless you feel like you actually need to feed into that negativity. It's your call, I suppose.

...I felt immediate pressure to find some "normal" job ASAP... Just the thought of any work at all was causing me anxiety and worry... I feel like I might just have to try anything.

A "normal" job usually implies financial security, but given the current global climate of fear, instability, and what feels like an intentional economic meltdown, that doesn't mean much. Even without these forced stressors, a standard job isn't a guarantee of happiness. Even if you inherited billions and had top-tier social status, that's still just material security; you're just avoiding dissatisfaction caused by lack, which is really just the lowest level of needs. No amount of money guarantees fulfillment because there are so many higher levels of needs to consider.
When picking a career, or really anything else, I think you should go with whatever draws you in more or gets you excited—something that boosts your energy.
On a scale of 1 to 10—where 1 is a job so soul-crushing you're debating whether to jump off a bridge or just take it, and 10 is a divine opportunity you can't resist, where you feel like you're in heaven and have enough energy to power the sun—just look at what's available and pick whatever is even slightly better than the rest. If your only options are 1, 1.18, or 1.19, then grab the 1.19. If you have a 7 or higher, always choose what attracts you most. Not just in work, but in everything. You'll be happier if you do what makes you happy. Things aren't perfect, and you still have to worry about bills, but I guess you should just pick the best thing currently on the table and keep choosing better things until you hit those double digits. Choosing based on your own criteria is a pretty powerful thing.

I disagree. Honestly, there was incomparably more fear in the past. Even children have always been frightened by fairy tales—think about Little Red Riding Hood being eaten by a wolf, the Three Little Pigs having their houses blown down, or even just the idea of a little sparrow starving to death. For adults, we’ve historically had religions that used the threat of witches, hell, or divine retribution to instill fear.

Then you have the justified fears. Before the modern era, people lived in constant, daily anxiety over whether they could actually provide enough food for their families or if their children would succumb to disease. Those fears were grounded in reality because infant mortality rates were incredibly high. In my own family, my grandmother gave birth to seven children, and only three of them survived.

graniteridge31 said:

.I honestly can't make sense of anything lately, other than feeling constant fear—it's been a total nightmare these past few days. :

The media has really ramped up this fear-mongering campaign over the last year. I'd suggest staying away from it entirely—unless you feel like you actually need to feed into that negativity. It's your call, I suppose.

...I felt immediate pressure to find some "normal" job ASAP... Just the thought of any work at all was causing me anxiety and worry... I feel like I might just have to try anything.

A "normal" job usually implies financial security, but given the current global climate of fear, instability, and what feels like an intentional economic meltdown, that doesn't mean much. Even without these forced stressors, a standard job isn't a guarantee of happiness. Even if you inherited billions and had top-tier social status, that's still just material security; you're just avoiding dissatisfaction caused by lack, which is really just the lowest level of needs. No amount of money guarantees fulfillment because there are so many higher levels of needs to consider.
When picking a career, or really anything else, I think you should go with whatever draws you in more or gets you excited—something that boosts your energy.
On a scale of 1 to 10—where 1 is a job so soul-crushing you're debating whether to jump off a bridge or just take it, and 10 is a divine opportunity you can't resist, where you feel like you're in heaven and have enough energy to power the sun—just look at what's available and pick whatever is even slightly better than the rest. If your only options are 1, 1.18, or 1.19, then grab the 1.19. If you have a 7 or higher, always choose what attracts you most. Not just in work, but in everything. You'll be happier if you do what makes you happy. Things aren't perfect, and you still have to worry about bills, but I guess you should just pick the best thing currently on the table and keep choosing better things until you hit those double digits. Choosing based on your own criteria is a pretty powerful thing.

That isn't how job hunting works. Someone might dream of being an astronaut, but if they haven't completed the necessary schooling and if there isn't a demand for astronauts in the economy, they aren't going to get hired as one.

Essentially, the first requirement is that the job market actually needs the role you want; the second is that you possess the specialized training and knowledge required to perform that specific work.

Everything else is just a bedtime story.

What exactly set off the psychotic episode?

And I wonder, was it just a one-off thing, or are we talking about a pervasive state of being that you're essentially just managing or suppressing with medication?

graniteridge31 said:

.I honestly can't make sense of anything lately, other than feeling constant fear—it's been a total nightmare these past few days. :

The media has really ramped up this fear-mongering campaign over the last year. I'd suggest staying away from it entirely—unless you feel like you actually need to feed into that negativity. It's your call, I suppose.

...I felt immediate pressure to find some "normal" job ASAP... Just the thought of any work at all was causing me anxiety and worry... I feel like I might just have to try anything.

A "normal" job usually implies financial security, but given the current global climate of fear, instability, and what feels like an intentional economic meltdown, that doesn't mean much. Even without these forced stressors, a standard job isn't a guarantee of happiness. Even if you inherited billions and had top-tier social status, that's still just material security; you're just avoiding dissatisfaction caused by lack, which is really just the lowest level of needs. No amount of money guarantees fulfillment because there are so many higher levels of needs to consider.
When picking a career, or really anything else, I think you should go with whatever draws you in more or gets you excited—something that boosts your energy.
On a scale of 1 to 10—where 1 is a job so soul-crushing you're debating whether to jump off a bridge or just take it, and 10 is a divine opportunity you can't resist, where you feel like you're in heaven and have enough energy to power the sun—just look at what's available and pick whatever is even slightly better than the rest. If your only options are 1, 1.18, or 1.19, then grab the 1.19. If you have a 7 or higher, always choose what attracts you most. Not just in work, but in everything. You'll be happier if you do what makes you happy. Things aren't perfect, and you still have to worry about bills, but I guess you should just pick the best thing currently on the table and keep choosing better things until you hit those double digits. Choosing based on your own criteria is a pretty powerful thing.

If I could actually pull it off—and I mean really pull it off—I’d take a few more years of pure psychological peace, just away from all the stress. Constant pressure is exactly what makes mental health so difficult to manage, isn't it? It's hard to find even a basic sense of stability when you're always on edge.
I’m not quite in that same boat—not because I don't rely on others, but because there are people in my family who depend on me, too. It definitely adds a layer of pressure to make a move, doesn't it? It’s forced me to finally take action—something that has been missing for the last two years.
When you’re dealing with mental health struggles—like I am right now—even a cold beer out in the great American outdoors just doesn't cut it. It's that serotonin imbalance, you know? You put it quite nicely, but it feels like reality is a bit more complicated than that—and maybe we just have to accept it as it is.

Sam Martinez9 said:I disagree. Honestly, there was incomparably more fear in the past. Even children have always been frightened by fairy tales—think about Little Red Riding Hood being eaten by a wolf, the Three Little Pigs having their houses blown down, or even just the idea of a little sparrow starving to death. For adults, we’ve historically had religions that used the threat of witches, hell, or divine retribution to instill fear.

Then you have the justified fears. Before the modern era, people lived in constant, daily anxiety over whether they could actually provide enough food for their families or if their children would succumb to disease. Those fears were grounded in reality because infant mortality rates were incredibly high. In my own family, my grandmother gave birth to seven children, and only three of them survived.

That isn't how job hunting works. Someone might dream of being an astronaut, but if they haven't completed the necessary schooling and if there isn't a demand for astronauts in the economy, they aren't going to get hired as one.

Essentially, the first requirement is that the job market actually needs the role you want; the second is that you possess the specialized training and knowledge required to perform that specific work.

Everything else is just a bedtime story.

I couldn't agree more. I find myself in quite a paradoxical situation myself—if you can call it that. Because of my mental health, I’ve been looking for light work in warehouses, but there's always a catch... I lack the certification for forklift operation, yet because I have a college degree, some employers tell me they can't hire me—which is a bit of a head-scratcher, isn't it? The paradox is that I am actually being offered the kind of life I dreamed of when I first started my studies. Of course, the real question now is whether I have enough mental energy to handle it all. I haven't tried yet.

Andrew Barrett4 said:What exactly set off the psychotic episode?

And I wonder, was it just a one-off thing, or are we talking about a pervasive state of being that you're essentially just managing or suppressing with medication?

Love, passion, drama—just massive amounts of stress. As time went on, I started developing these wild ideas—essentially trying to synthesize opposing theories from different pieces of literature.
Whether this is a chronic condition remains to be seen. I’m one of those rare cases who experimented with various substances during treatment; at one point, I even went off all my meds entirely. That lasted a few months, but my anxiety just kept climbing. So, they put me back on a low dose of antipsychotics—which I definitely feel the side effects of—along with anxiolytics and benzodiazepines. This current way of living honestly feels somewhat senseless. People around me think everything is fine, but they didn't see how I reacted during the high-stress moments. They don't believe me when I speak up.
Now, I'm facing the prospect of returning to my studies while balancing a fast-paced job involving teamwork.

So, how do you typically handle things when the pressure really starts to mount?

Andrew Barrett4 said:So, how do you typically handle things when the pressure really starts to mount?

Honestly, I used to handle things quite well—I actually enjoyed pushing my boundaries and stepping out of my comfort zone.

Since the psychosis, though—everything has changed. My heart starts racing, my hands shake—sometimes even my voice—and the absolute worst part is how my brain just turns to mush. My thoughts get completely tangled, I lose the ability to tell if what I'm saying makes sense, and my focus just vanishes... It all happens at once—it’s a total nightmare.

Olivia Smith2 said:Honestly, I used to handle things quite well—I actually enjoyed pushing my boundaries and stepping out of my comfort zone.

Since the psychosis, though—everything has changed. My heart starts racing, my hands shake—sometimes even my voice—and the absolute worst part is how my brain just turns to mush. My thoughts get completely tangled, I lose the ability to tell if what I'm saying makes sense, and my focus just vanishes... It all happens at once—it’s a total nightmare.

Have you considered that what you're describing might actually be a side effect of the antipsychotics?
When people are in the middle of a psychotic break, they aren't usually worrying about how they come across or feeling super anxious about their speech...
In fact, they can often seem oddly confident in their own reality...
To me, it sounds like you might be dealing with a heavy dosage of medication, which raises the question of whether you'd even slip back into psychosis without them...
Assuming you don't have chronic schizophrenia.

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Adam Morris4 said:Have you considered that what you're describing might actually be a side effect of the antipsychotics?
When people are in the middle of a psychotic break, they aren't usually worrying about how they come across or feeling super anxious about their speech...
In fact, they can often seem oddly confident in their own reality...
To me, it sounds like you might be dealing with a heavy dosage of medication, which raises the question of whether you'd even slip back into psychosis without them...
Assuming you don't have chronic schizophrenia.

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It makes sense—to a certain extent, anyway. Before the antipsychotics wore off, I used to play the "bad boy" at the hospital whenever I was interacting with nurses, social workers, or psychologists. They would then pass those impressions along to my psychiatrist, even though I was perfectly calm, polite, and lucid during our sessions. There wasn't any anxiety back then—just a lot of restlessness because I was simultaneously ending a relationship that meant everything to me.

I went through periods of depersonalization and this general sense of numbness—which I blamed on the medication—while I waited for the chance to stop taking them. Other than that, I was terrified of having another psychotic episode. That numbness was my biggest worry; it feels like it’s actually what caused me to develop this anxiety over time (along with the fear of relapsing).

I don't have developed schizophrenia—that isn't my diagnosis. I just had one episode about two years ago.

I was off the antipsychotics for a while, but because the tension was so high, I ended up on a low dose of Quetiapine (just 50 mg, which is really just meant to settle the system). My regular doctor wasn't available at my last appointment, so I saw a different psychiatrist instead. When we started talking, my voice was trembling and I mentioned how tense I felt, so she bumped my dose up to 150 mg (SR). About a month and a half later, I started feeling that antipsychotic fog again—feeling slower and more blunt (which is the last thing I need right now).

My doctor told me that 150 mg isn't much; apparently, some people take that just for mild depression, whereas doses for psychotic disorders usually range from 800 to 1000 mg.

So, I'm honestly not sure if this restlessness is due to the meds. I felt restless even without them, though I have to admit—it could definitely be akathisia.

Are you actually stoked about this job waiting for you? Like, is this really what you want to be doing with your life? Are you gonna feel fulfilled in a career like this? Honestly, I feel like when things aren't clicking mentally, it’s often because you’re just unfulfilled deep down. Of course, everyone’s different, right? But if you’re forcing yourself into something under all this pressure, I can’t help but think you’re just setting yourself up for another cycle of the same old thing. Since this is exactly what you've been dreading, it really comes down to one big question: do you dive headfirst into the grind to try and "make something of yourself," or do you just take a beat for yourself? Maybe meditate, find some peace, and figure out what actually makes you happy and whole.

velvetmaker18 said:Are you actually stoked about this job waiting for you? Like, is this really what you want to be doing with your life? Are you gonna feel fulfilled in a career like this? Honestly, I feel like when things aren't clicking mentally, it’s often because you’re just unfulfilled deep down. Of course, everyone’s different, right? But if you’re forcing yourself into something under all this pressure, I can’t help but think you’re just setting yourself up for another cycle of the same old thing. Since this is exactly what you've been dreading, it really comes down to one big question: do you dive headfirst into the grind to try and "make something of yourself," or do you just take a beat for yourself? Maybe meditate, find some peace, and figure out what actually makes you happy and whole.

I've been meditating for quite a while now—though unfortunately, most of us can't always afford to sit back and spend years calculating our next moves. And yes, I would love to pursue that path. My only real worry is whether my body will be able to keep up.

Honestly, if you're just dealing with anxiety, jumping straight to an antipsychotic feels like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Usually, doctors would look at starting you on some antidepressants, maybe a little bit of benzos for a short window to steady things out, and then just taking it as needed... Now, don't get me wrong, your current dose isn't massive, but there's a catch. As those meds gradually block your dopamine receptors over time, you can start hitting this wall of emotional numbness, akathisia, heightened anxiety, or even depression. It’s a nasty cycle. In a worst-case scenario, if long-term antipsychotics are actually necessary, they really should have paired them with an antidepressant to prevent you from sliding into the headspace you're stuck in right now...
In the best-case scenario, though—assuming the psychosis doesn't come back and you aren't dealing with schizophrenia like you mentioned—you might be able to phase out the antipsychotics entirely...
And I think it goes without saying that staying away from drugs is non-negotiable... For someone in your position, recreational use is a direct ticket to psychosis...
Sometimes, it really only takes one bad trip to derail your entire life.

And definitely go for that job, provided it's something you actually want to do.