How do you know if you've actually changed?

d, It really just comes down to the fine line between happiness and true fulfillment, doesn't it?....

https://www.damirzuvanic.com/emocion...EU7xZGVwiWegeY

Passion is great and all, but I'd put pure joy even higher on the list.

frozengardener7 said:My thoughts were along these lines...

Is it actually possible to change? To alter our habits, our behaviors, or our fundamental flaws?

Can intensive self-work truly "eliminate" those deep-seated struggles that feel like an abyss?

Does that old saying "a leopard can't change its spots" hold any truth?

I am questioning this concept of "character." Can a shift in nature ever be proven, or is everything ultimately just *res non verba*?

It holds true.😁 Some traits stay with you forever,🍿 but people do change. Usually after they get a massive ego trip... or life hits them hard enough to make them finally wake up. Just my take.

redpilot37 said:It holds true.😁 Some traits stay with you forever,🍿 but people do change. Usually after they get a massive ego trip... or life hits them hard enough to make them finally wake up. Just my take.

Yeah. Well, I learned that lesson the hard way: from my gut straight to my brain. 🕺

Either I’m going to end it all or I’m going to get drunk. I’ve decided on the drinking. Which, in the grand scheme of things, means I haven't changed one bit.

So, what’s the verdict?

Carl Rivera43 said:So, what’s the verdict?

None whatsoever.

Why's that?

Solving this personality puzzle is far beyond my capabilities.

And what would actually be easier?

If only I possessed a structured personality—one that was firm and healthy.

Do you actually have a plan for what decisions you need to make to finally make this happen?

I know, I wouldn't even be here.

Do you have absolutely no clue, or do you actually know a little bit?

You're boring.

Just asking my two cents here

I have no idea what kind of psychosis I was under while being here. Top tier. 🙏

Yes, you are changing. 😉

Patrick Patel4 said:Honestly, I don't know. Ever since my last major suicide attempt back in 2016, I haven't been that same edgy kid with all the best jokes in town. Something shifted; I finally accepted who I am and what I love, but I’m still not exactly "happy." I try to hold onto the person I used to be, but when I look back at my old posts versus what I’m writing now, I’m actually fascinated by how unique I was. Not saying I’m not unique now—if anything, I'm more myself than ever—but the way I write and throw out jokes? It’s different. These days, I'm more focused on just trying to help myself survive, and maybe that’s why things feel a bit darker. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing, necessarily. I just miss my old self for some reason. Probably because everyone loved me for being that guy. Yeah, I was suicidal, sure, but I was also freaking hilarious. Now, I’m just... uniquely funny.

I'm 28 right now, and "growing up" isn't exactly on my radar, even though it really should be. I still love the stuff cool kids love. Or, at least, the kind of kids who care so little about how they look that they can walk out of the house in a pile of anime merch without feeling any cringe at all.

Why do you think people don't love you for who you are right now?
Were you just performing for an audience to get affection?
Isn't it objectively healthier to not be suicidal, even if it means being slightly less "hilarious"?

If you had actually succeeded in those dark intentions just because you were busy being the life of the party, you would've missed out on a whole bunch of people you haven't even met yet.
The longer you stick around, the more people are going to love you. And it'll be in different ways you haven't even experienced yet.
People will love you for everything you are and everyone you are, not just because you're "freaking hilarious."
Being suicidal isn't a punchline, and it's definitely not fun.

frozengardener7, just hang on a second regarding all this talk about structure, patience, self-actualization, and "growth." As much sense those concepts might make to you, they honestly don't mean a thing in this context. You say you're changing yourself? What exactly are you changing? Can you actually tell the difference between your true self and the version of you shaped by illness, the version altered by medication, the one driven by loneliness, or the one worn down by pure misery? Who are you to think you can just step in and discipline or reshape your own identity?

Do you ever stop to wonder if, for instance, a desperate need for attention is a core part of your personality, or just a symptom of something entirely external? Are you actually YOU when you're crashing or when you're spiraling?
Are you genuinely in love, or do you just need a tragedy to fuel your personal narrative?

How are you supposed to recognize any actual change if you can't identify what's being changed? If the version of us we'd call "YOU" is buried under the sheer weight of everything that's just a symptom of your life, where is there left to work with?

Ultimately, why not just sit in the silence, clear out the mental clutter, and actually get to know yourself without all the judgment and with an open mind? I don't mean staring at the trash—I mean digging through it to find what's underneath. It might actually be worth it, trust me..

briskbison47 said:frozengardener7, just hang on a second regarding all this talk about structure, patience, self-actualization, and "growth." As much sense those concepts might make to you, they honestly don't mean a thing in this context. You say you're changing yourself? What exactly are you changing? Can you actually tell the difference between your true self and the version of you shaped by illness, the version altered by medication, the one driven by loneliness, or the one worn down by pure misery? Who are you to think you can just step in and discipline or reshape your own identity?

Do you ever stop to wonder if, for instance, a desperate need for attention is a core part of your personality, or just a symptom of something entirely external? Are you actually YOU when you're crashing or when you're spiraling?
Are you genuinely in love, or do you just need a tragedy to fuel your personal narrative?

How are you supposed to recognize any actual change if you can't identify what's being changed? If the version of us we'd call "YOU" is buried under the sheer weight of everything that's just a symptom of your life, where is there left to work with?

Ultimately, why not just sit in the silence, clear out the mental clutter, and actually get to know yourself without all the judgment and with an open mind? I don't mean staring at the trash—I mean digging through it to find what's underneath. It might actually be worth it, trust me..

Maybe for some people, the idea of being a janitor—just living a life where you get paid fairly for cleaning up messes—doesn't feel "rewarding" enough. Sure, you can work a steady gig to survive. Any job that pays the bills is fine. But if you have this massive, volcanic eruption of inspiration inside you, you can't just be a professional trash collector. You’ll end up trying to be a part-time actor, a musician, a physicist, a dancer, or a samurai just to feel alive. When that drive finally burns you out, when you realize you can't juggle it all anymore, the exhaustion is gonna hit hard. They'll definitely know they've changed...