Looking at things from different perspectives

Joseph Bailey41 said:Which feels like a pretty basic, almost cliché dilemma. Of course, everyone has their own reasons for why they do or don't do certain things. It isn't actually that hard to grasp. That is, unless you let emotions take over and start screaming, "Your reasons have to be identical to mine because we slept together once (or ten times), which means we are ONE, so your Eros, if it isn't directed exclusively at ME, is causing me pain."

It's not that I'm actively pushing for any kind of polygamous setup—that just adds more layers of complication, and most people can barely handle the emotional rollercoaster of a standard relationship as it is. I'm advocating for simplicity. People either enjoy being together, or they don't. If they don't, then what's the point? If they do, then surely they should be able to reach an agreement on the fundamental stuff just to maintain a baseline level of comfort, not to mention peace of mind. Honestly, everyone knows (or at least should know) how much attention, sex, intellectual stimulation, or emotional drama they need, and whether they want to get that from one person or several. Likewise, everyone knows how much they are capable of giving. Infidelity is a clear sign that there's been some sort of incompatibility, an imbalance, a failure to communicate desires and needs, or a reluctance to meet someone else's needs... basically, it means the relationship is exhausted, or perhaps it was never truly healthy to begin with, usually due to the immaturity of one or both partners.

In other words, it's a perfect sign—a transcendental revelation that it's time for everyone to go their separate ways. And what could be better than that? Two people cannot be ONE... they are always two distinct, separate individuals, not Siamese twins sharing a single heart or set of lungs. To let hormones blind you so much that you think another being is an integral part of yourself, or that their expression of Eros somehow directly hits YOU... it's just silly. An infant can't survive without its mother, so anyone would feel for its crying. A teenager experiencing their first heartbreak will feel it deeply because their still-developing brain perceives that rejection as being the same as being denied nourishment. But an adult... man.😁

Robert Reyes4 said:But it happens easy. As much as it sounds ridiculous, I was genuinely blindsided when it hit me. And honestly? I don't think it's just biology. It feels more like raw emotion—like some deep-seated childhood stuff just suddenly switches on.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Which feels like a pretty basic, almost cliché dilemma. Of course, everyone has their own reasons for why they do or don't do certain things. It isn't actually that hard to grasp. That is, unless you let emotions take over and start screaming, "Your reasons have to be identical to mine because we slept together once (or ten times), which means we are ONE, so your Eros, if it isn't directed exclusively at ME, is causing me pain."

It's not that I'm actively pushing for any kind of polygamous setup—that just adds more layers of complication, and most people can barely handle the emotional rollercoaster of a standard relationship as it is. I'm advocating for simplicity. People either enjoy being together, or they don't. If they don't, then what's the point? If they do, then surely they should be able to reach an agreement on the fundamental stuff just to maintain a baseline level of comfort, not to mention peace of mind. Honestly, everyone knows (or at least should know) how much attention, sex, intellectual stimulation, or emotional drama they need, and whether they want to get that from one person or several. Likewise, everyone knows how much they are capable of giving. Infidelity is a clear sign that there's been some sort of incompatibility, an imbalance, a failure to communicate desires and needs, or a reluctance to meet someone else's needs... basically, it means the relationship is exhausted, or perhaps it was never truly healthy to begin with, usually due to the immaturity of one or both partners.

In other words, it's a perfect sign—a transcendental revelation that it's time for everyone to go their separate ways. And what could be better than that? Two people cannot be ONE... they are always two distinct, separate individuals, not Siamese twins sharing a single heart or set of lungs. To let hormones blind you so much that you think another being is an integral part of yourself, or that their expression of Eros somehow directly hits YOU... it's just silly. An infant can't survive without its mother, so anyone would feel for its crying. A teenager experiencing their first heartbreak will feel it deeply because their still-developing brain perceives that rejection as being the same as being denied nourishment. But an adult... man.😁

Joseph Bailey41 said:It happened to me too when I was sixteen and experienced my first real heartbreak. It actually took me decades to realize that my entire breakdown was essentially a regression to early childhood... and that being "in love" is really just a massive hormonal cascade. It was incredibly awkward at the time, mostly because I couldn't wrap my head around his perspective... like, why? Looking back, that whole mess was actually helpful for learning how to read people—seeing how much the chaos they cause is tied to their own childhood baggage, and realizing that once it starts, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Honestly, romantic love isn't some magic wand that fixes everything; if anything, it makes things way more complicated by dragging you into all sorts of transfers, projections, and general nonsense.

I mean, I get that this happens, and I know how much people tend to romanticize those moments of total instability. But on this subforum, where we usually look down on anything considered mainstream, I didn't really expect all these seekers of the transcendental to be so preoccupied with relationship drama. 🕺

DecemberFlower;74342921
What's the reasoning behind that thought? [/QUOTE said:

Ego.