Scent of leather

To be honest, my family and I deal with racial discrimination quite frequently. I often find myself noticing these seemingly irrational, senseless attacks directed at my loved ones, all stemming from the prejudiced attitudes of others.

I’ve titled this thread "scent of leather" because I suspect there is a biological component at play; darker skin carries a distinct scent, and perhaps that serves as an unconscious trigger for the hostility my family faces. It seems to be a common denominator behind the unprovoked aggression toward those with darker complexions. My lighter-skinned relatives don't seem to face the same issues, yet my brother's daughter—who has very dark skin—was actually forced to switch classes because the bullying became so relentless.

How does one navigate this reality while maintaining their dignity and civility?

I would appreciate any advice you might have, and thank you in advance for listening. 🙂

restlessowl25 said:To be honest, my family and I deal with racial discrimination quite frequently. I often find myself noticing these seemingly irrational, senseless attacks directed at my loved ones, all stemming from the prejudiced attitudes of others.

I’ve titled this thread "scent of leather" because I suspect there is a biological component at play; darker skin carries a distinct scent, and perhaps that serves as an unconscious trigger for the hostility my family faces. It seems to be a common denominator behind the unprovoked aggression toward those with darker complexions. My lighter-skinned relatives don't seem to face the same issues, yet my brother's daughter—who has very dark skin—was actually forced to switch classes because the bullying became so relentless.

How does one navigate this reality while maintaining their dignity and civility?

I would appreciate any advice you might have, and thank you in advance for listening. 🙂

😱

Switching classes? Hold on, where on earth are you living? Some tiny town in the Midwest?

At my daughter's school, we have everyone—Black kids, Hispanic kids, kids who are pale as ghosts, and my own girl, who is so dark she gets people's attention.

And nobody bothers anyone. That's something I really value about her school.

Look, our country can be incredibly conservative, overtly nationalistic, and frankly, a bit xenophobic. So, I believe there are definitely parts of the US where the problems you're describing exist.

But what does this topic have to do with a psychoanalysis forum? 🤔

mistydrifter55 said:😱

Switching classes? Hold on, where on earth are you living? Some tiny town in the Midwest?

At my daughter's school, we have everyone—Black kids, Hispanic kids, kids who are pale as ghosts, and my own girl, who is so dark she gets people's attention.

And nobody bothers anyone. That's something I really value about her school.

Look, our country can be incredibly conservative, overtly nationalistic, and frankly, a bit xenophobic. So, I believe there are definitely parts of the US where the problems you're describing exist.

But what does this topic have to do with a psychoanalysis forum? 🤔

My niece doesn't live in America; she lives in a country where xenophobia is extremely pronounced.

It’s relevant because I feel a sense of hopelessness when I encounter these attitudes here in the US as well. While it hasn't been quite as blatant as what my niece experiences, I've faced it enough throughout my life to leave me in a headspace I wouldn't wish on anyone.
It isn't always about overt discrimination; sometimes it's a more insidious approach.

For example: someone makes a derogatory comment about a specific minority group—a group I belong to—and then follows it up by saying it has nothing to do with me. It’s that classic American trope: "They're all just dirty outsiders," and so on.

I literally caught the scent of leather 🕺
Goats actually smell pretty good 🐔

Nothing smart to add here, sorry 🙂

Peter Murphy6 said:I literally caught the scent of leather 🕺
Goats actually smell pretty good 🐔

Nothing smart to add here, sorry 🙂

Typical.

Man, that’s just sensitive stuff—thick, chilled, and served at the perfect temp 😍
Hey, let's not go off-topic here, alright? Peace.
👋

It's sweet of you to think of me 😒

I would like to offer a correction. My mother is stateless; her father, who was Italian, vanished during the war. There is absolutely no record of him today because my grandmother met him abroad while they were both being held in forced labor camps. While the United States has a very sophisticated approach to minority rights and protections, our experience here felt different. If we were to mention our grandfather's origins, the comments we’d face would be: "He was probably just Italian, or maybe even Romani!" If we had any way to actually prove our heritage, I believe we would be embraced just like any other minority group. Instead, we simply remained stateless, with nothing to show for our roots but our skin color, which people used to claim we had southern origins. America is my home, not a stepmother, and I want to retract my previous comment about discrimination being a "typical American product." I apologize for that generalization. However, in our specific case, being stateless provided an excuse for certain individuals to isolate us from everyone else just so they could target us. If someone had called me Romani, I might have taken it as a compliment, though even that would have been a luxury—we were often just dismissed as people lying about having Italian ancestry. I want to separate my personal story from the general American attitude toward minorities, which, as I mentioned, is quite advanced, despite the occasional ignorant remarks about Italians being "Fascists" and such. Ultimately, it wasn't about our appearance; it was the lack of legal identity that caused the trouble.

Peter Murphy6 said:I literally caught the scent of leather 🕺
Goats actually smell pretty good 🐔

Nothing smart to add here, sorry 🙂

Well, you read it exactly as it was written. 😁

To me, goats have a bit of an odor, but I absolutely love goat milk.

As far as people go, I find those who don't wash themselves or their clothes to be the ones who smell, as well as people who overdo it with perfume, aftershave, or deodorant. Skin color has absolutely nothing to do with it for me. Even though I'm super sensitive to scents, I've never made that connection. A friend of mine adopted a dark-skinned child, and they just smell like... a kid. 🤷

restlessowl25 said:My niece doesn't live in America; she lives in a country where xenophobia is extremely pronounced.

It’s relevant because I feel a sense of hopelessness when I encounter these attitudes here in the US as well. While it hasn't been quite as blatant as what my niece experiences, I've faced it enough throughout my life to leave me in a headspace I wouldn't wish on anyone.
It isn't always about overt discrimination; sometimes it's a more insidious approach.

For example: someone makes a derogatory comment about a specific minority group—a group I belong to—and then follows it up by saying it has nothing to do with me. It’s that classic American trope: "They're all just dirty outsiders," and so on.

That is honestly just nasty. I'm really at a loss for what advice I could even give you. 😢

Joseph Bailey41 said:That is honestly just nasty. I'm really at a loss for what advice I could even give you. 😢

I have to admit, my phrasing there was rather clumsy. My apologies! 👎

restlessowl25 said:I have to admit, my phrasing there was rather clumsy. My apologies! 👎

It’s not really you, though—it’s the people feeding you that nonsense. They remind me of those guys who used to come up to me with lines like, "Women are just airheads... but you're different, blah, blah." I could never tell if they were actually trying to be provocative or if some people just speak before they think. 🙄

Joseph Bailey41 said:It’s not really you, though—it’s the people feeding you that nonsense. They remind me of those guys who used to come up to me with lines like, "Women are just airheads... but you're different, blah, blah." I could never tell if they were actually trying to be provocative or if some people just speak before they think. 🙄

Their tongues are almost certainly running faster than their wits! 🤔

Joseph Bailey41 said:Well, you read it exactly as it was written. 😁

To me, goats have a bit of an odor, but I absolutely love goat milk.

As far as people go, I find those who don't wash themselves or their clothes to be the ones who smell, as well as people who overdo it with perfume, aftershave, or deodorant. Skin color has absolutely nothing to do with it for me. Even though I'm super sensitive to scents, I've never made that connection. A friend of mine adopted a dark-skinned child, and they just smell like... a kid. 🤷

I actually love that goat scent—especially when there's a whole bunch of them around you. That warm fur, the sound of them chewing, and that sort of green, healthy, herbal vibe they have.
It's actually pretty calming 🤷 It's cozy in the herd 😬
And man, I live for goat milk.

Anyway, OP, did autocorrect glitch on you? I see some weird accents in there so the title is a little confusing. 🤔

Peter Murphy6 said:I actually love that goat scent—especially when there's a whole bunch of them around you. That warm fur, the sound of them chewing, and that sort of green, healthy, herbal vibe they have.
It's actually pretty calming 🤷 It's cozy in the herd 😬
And man, I live for goat milk.

Anyway, OP, did autocorrect glitch on you? I see some weird accents in there so the title is a little confusing. 🤔

That was an oversight on my part—just a bit of carelessness—but we are talking about skin care, after all! 😁