When you're just hitting a wall

Here’s my take: when we decide how to spend our energy, we shouldn't just chase things where the end result is the only thing that matters. We should pick paths where the process itself actually feels worth it. That way, if we don't hit the target—which happens more often than we'd like to admit—the time we spent won't feel like a total waste.
If we're constantly living for some distant future goal, we end up devaluing the present and missing out on life entirely. Time is pretty much all we've got.

Betty Fowler said:Quincy:

Jose Ward4 As I was saying: Well, that's one way to start a conversation. 🙂Fair enough.

Could it be bipolar disorder?

No.

nimbleharbor46 said:At the end of the day, anyone can change their mind.

Actually, this reminds me of a buddy of mine we call Lucifer. He honestly couldn't care less about anyone else. He thinks he's the toughest guy in the room and has zero empathy for people struggling, whether they're broke or dealing with health issues. To him, it's just an inconvenience. He even gets rude when someone is visibly sick. His girlfriend has bipolar disorder, and when she first came over to meet us, she was going through a pretty heavy depressive episode. It drove him absolutely nuts. He kept complaining about why he even hangs out with "that kind" of person. He doesn't look at me that way, though—he tells me I'm not crazy. Well, his words, not mine! He claims I was never "crazy," just that my medication messed with my head. Anyway, what this gentleman leteći wrote really hit home for me because it sounded just like him. Exactly the same attitude. That's why I changed my mind. Seeing his behavior in such a short window, and then reading what leteći wrote... it was a total flashback. It was pure Mr. Lucifer.

Jose Ward4 said:No.

Actually, this reminds me of a buddy of mine we call Lucifer. He honestly couldn't care less about anyone else. He thinks he's the toughest guy in the room and has zero empathy for people struggling, whether they're broke or dealing with health issues. To him, it's just an inconvenience. He even gets rude when someone is visibly sick. His girlfriend has bipolar disorder, and when she first came over to meet us, she was going through a pretty heavy depressive episode. It drove him absolutely nuts. He kept complaining about why he even hangs out with "that kind" of person. He doesn't look at me that way, though—he tells me I'm not crazy. Well, his words, not mine! He claims I was never "crazy," just that my medication messed with my head. Anyway, what this gentleman leteći wrote really hit home for me because it sounded just like him. Exactly the same attitude. That's why I changed my mind. Seeing his behavior in such a short window, and then reading what leteći wrote... it was a total flashback. It was pure Mr. Lucifer.

Leteći and I aren't exactly best friends on this forum, but I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a bad person.

Betty Fowler said:Leteći and I aren't exactly best friends on this forum, but I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a bad person.

Oh, she isn't bad, she just lacks a little bit of common sense.😬

Jose Ward4 said:Oh, please. Like, what even *are* your superpowers, anyway? You, who hasn't washed your feet in years. At least, that's what you claimed once. I'm just quoting you!

Everything. 🙂

Joseph Bailey41 said:Everything. 🙂

Yeah, prove it then. Give us some actual, high-quality logic for once—something that won't make me lose my mind.
Or maybe don't... stick to that vague, abstract nonsense you're playing with.

Can you actually scale up (significantly)?
Like, what, hit a hundred inches?

ironrider11 said:Yeah, prove it then. Give us some actual, high-quality logic for once—something that won't make me lose my mind.
Or maybe don't... stick to that vague, abstract nonsense you're playing with.

Can you actually scale up (significantly)?
Like, what, hit a hundred inches?

Why on earth would I ever do that? 🤔 😵

But enough about things that don't matter... what do you do when you're stuck on something? Like, trying to grow your junk, for example. 😁

Joseph Bailey41 said:Why on earth would I ever do that? 🤔 😵

But enough about things that don't matter... what do you do when you're stuck on something? Like, trying to grow your junk, for example. 😁

If I were stuck on something that just wouldn't click, I’d change my whole approach. I'd stop banging my head against that wall and pivot to something I actually excel at. Honestly, I don't see any other way out. And regarding those superpowers... I’d bet anything that you have some kind of special power, though whether it would actually affect me is a different story. Not every woman has a superpower over every man. You have to find that perfect alignment—the right power, the right woman, and the right man all clicking together.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Why on earth would I ever do that? 🤔 😵

But enough about things that don't matter... what do you do when you're stuck on something? Like, trying to grow your junk, for example. 😁

So you're really into that stuff, huh? Honestly, honey, give me a break.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Why on earth would I ever do that? 🤔 😵

But enough about things that don't matter... what do you do when you're stuck on something? Like, trying to grow your junk, for example. 😁

"On earth"? "Good grief"? Why wouldn't she? I mean, is that kind of stuff even meant to be shared? Maybe if you pile up too much positive energy, it just builds up inside the "media" type and turns into pure toxicity. It could actually materialize or physically warp tissues and organs right where it settled in the body.

When things fail, is the only move to just accept it—that this is just how it is right now? Maybe. Trying to force an action because you're desperate for some different reality—born from a core of "misery"—could end up being chronically tragic. You might get that alternative reality, sure, but it might show up in a form you never wanted. Watch what you wish for, right? It might actually happen.

When everything is going great and life feels smooth, you rarely stop to ask who you are, what you are, or where you even stand... You just slide through. Like a dream. Until suddenly, a concrete wall appears out of nowhere, and you slam into it full speed. If you survive, that crash is your first real lesson in having zero control over this waking dream dimension. It’s like a kid finding their footing for the first time. Moving from crawling to standing, or rising up, regardless of the trips and falls, constantly pushing to fly. And maybe you actually fly. Is that a permit you earned or just luck? Sometimes it's just random, like a housefly hitting a swatter held by some guy who's just fed up with bugs. A swatter. If that guy only knew how quality a life that fly was leading, how much emotion and love it carried inside... If he could have even considered an alternative reality while stuck in his own frustrated, "nothing is working" solipsism. He probably wouldn't have swatted it.

The different dimensions of everything are separated for a reason. Is the math behind all these interacting variables actually what life is? Grand? The fact that things go more or less as expected for me, her, or him—today, yesterday, or tomorrow—is just... well, it's worth marveling at. Or being shocked by. Depends entirely on how the observer is wired at that moment. Either way, whether they act or not, the observer always accepts. Maybe the only difference is how much they notice their own predetermined interaction with the circumstances. And whether they notice it or not might not even be up to them. When nothing works, you just do what you do. By observing, you define your "own reactions and actions to a specific stimulus." Like a stenographer, a clerk, a bureaucrat... maybe someone good at multitasking. While performing their duty or doing their job, they are simultaneously daydreaming about some alternative version of themselves. A superhero, a peacemaker, a humanitarian, an evangelist... or a supervillain, lacking a valid permit for a 44-inch stabbing device used for..............

Jose Ward4 said:If I were stuck on something that just wouldn't click, I’d change my whole approach. I'd stop banging my head against that wall and pivot to something I actually excel at. Honestly, I don't see any other way out. And regarding those superpowers... I’d bet anything that you have some kind of special power, though whether it would actually affect me is a different story. Not every woman has a superpower over every man. You have to find that perfect alignment—the right power, the right woman, and the right man all clicking together.

Man... you couldn't be more wrong, Jose Ward4. Nobody ever told you that all women are basically witches? Whether they realize it or not, they're packing some seriously heavy magical influence. This whole abstract hysteria coming from reality might just be a byproduct of some hive-mind resonance, a symbiotic link within the collective female subconscious. It's like the Matrix, where taking the red pill sends you straight into the heart of "godhead" madness. Once you're in, there's no coming back—like getting sucked into a black hole—to tell anyone about what ultimate abstraction actually feels like. America is beautiful, full of life everywhere from the surface down deep. But deeper still... when life is just a shift in chemistry, things look a lot different...

New Year's resolution: actually forcing myself not to skip over ironrider11's posts the second I see them.

ironrider11 said:"On earth"? "Good grief"? Why wouldn't she? I mean, is that kind of stuff even meant to be shared? Maybe if you pile up too much positive energy, it just builds up inside the "media" type and turns into pure toxicity. It could actually materialize or physically warp tissues and organs right where it settled in the body.

When things fail, is the only move to just accept it—that this is just how it is right now? Maybe. Trying to force an action because you're desperate for some different reality—born from a core of "misery"—could end up being chronically tragic. You might get that alternative reality, sure, but it might show up in a form you never wanted. Watch what you wish for, right? It might actually happen.

When everything is going great and life feels smooth, you rarely stop to ask who you are, what you are, or where you even stand... You just slide through. Like a dream. Until suddenly, a concrete wall appears out of nowhere, and you slam into it full speed. If you survive, that crash is your first real lesson in having zero control over this waking dream dimension. It’s like a kid finding their footing for the first time. Moving from crawling to standing, or rising up, regardless of the trips and falls, constantly pushing to fly. And maybe you actually fly. Is that a permit you earned or just luck? Sometimes it's just random, like a housefly hitting a swatter held by some guy who's just fed up with bugs. A swatter. If that guy only knew how quality a life that fly was leading, how much emotion and love it carried inside... If he could have even considered an alternative reality while stuck in his own frustrated, "nothing is working" solipsism. He probably wouldn't have swatted it.

The different dimensions of everything are separated for a reason. Is the math behind all these interacting variables actually what life is? Grand? The fact that things go more or less as expected for me, her, or him—today, yesterday, or tomorrow—is just... well, it's worth marveling at. Or being shocked by. Depends entirely on how the observer is wired at that moment. Either way, whether they act or not, the observer always accepts. Maybe the only difference is how much they notice their own predetermined interaction with the circumstances. And whether they notice it or not might not even be up to them. When nothing works, you just do what you do. By observing, you define your "own reactions and actions to a specific stimulus." Like a stenographer, a clerk, a bureaucrat... maybe someone good at multitasking. While performing their duty or doing their job, they are simultaneously daydreaming about some alternative version of themselves. A superhero, a peacemaker, a humanitarian, an evangelist... or a supervillain, lacking a valid permit for a 44-inch stabbing device used for..............

It’s a familiar feeling... like a fly heading straight for a collision with the Hegelian Absolute. The philosophy of history. Turn it into a thick, mushy mass of recycled Absolute. 🤣 🤦 🤣

There’s also those stretches where everything just... stops. Nothing moves, nothing changes. It feels like the whole world has been frozen in cryostasis. I think I read somewhere once—maybe in a song—that even when a river is trapped under ice, it's still flowing underneath. I can't stop thinking about that lately, especially since we haven't had a proper white Christmas. Part of me wants to wish for one, but then again, I’ve never actually been much of a snow person. 🕺

Robert Reyes4 said:Here’s my take: when we decide how to spend our energy, we shouldn't just chase things where the end result is the only thing that matters. We should pick paths where the process itself actually feels worth it. That way, if we don't hit the target—which happens more often than we'd like to admit—the time we spent won't feel like a total waste.
If we're constantly living for some distant future goal, we end up devaluing the present and missing out on life entirely. Time is pretty much all we've got.

Honestly, these are just empty platitudes. If I were to start dissecting this post, I could go on forever, but I won't bother. I'll just say this: any unachieved goal is inevitably a disappointment, regardless of whether you felt the process was "meaningful." Besides, what even defines "meaningful," and what does it actually mean to "live life"?

If failure keeps happening, it kills your drive for everything—unless you're capable of massive self-delusion to convince yourself it didn't matter that you wasted your time on something that ended in a complete disaster.

Joseph Bailey41 said:It’s a familiar feeling... like a fly heading straight for a collision with the Hegelian Absolute. The philosophy of history. Turn it into a thick, mushy mass of recycled Absolute. 🤣 🤦 🤣

There’s also those stretches where everything just... stops. Nothing moves, nothing changes. It feels like the whole world has been frozen in cryostasis. I think I read somewhere once—maybe in a song—that even when a river is trapped under ice, it's still flowing underneath. I can't stop thinking about that lately, especially since we haven't had a proper white Christmas. Part of me wants to wish for one, but then again, I’ve never actually been much of a snow person. 🕺

So I’m opening up this XYZ software, right? Every "project" tag shows when it was created and last modified. Well, one day, out of nowhere, without any bolding or anything, there’s this weirdly colored text—not even bolded, just this obnoxious, eye-stabbing shade—that says "4 months ago." Wha? Hold up... wait a second. No way. But it's there. It's definitely there. My brain starts glitching trying to process the timeline. I pull up my digital logs, zooming in on all those little markers that basically map out my life's big milestones. I look at the line... and it's completely blank. Total void. I zoom in, slide left, slide right... nothing. Pure panic. It’s like nothing ever happened. Or... nothing was recorded. But things *did* happen, right? They had to. Right?! I start panicking, zooming in 333x deeper, staring at these tiny lines and abstract scribbles that mean absolutely nothing to me right now. Where the hell was I for the last "4 months ago"? How much can I stretch or compress a time warp while I'm stuck on autopilot? Scary stuff...

What even counts as autopilot? Can we just turn everything into a blur? In some kind of artistic trance—which isn't quite the same thing since it falls under "autopilotism"—I slice off a piece of my ear and scribble a funny little poem on the wall. The next day, staring at that messy abstract smear, I’m convinced it looks exactly like what I did three years ago. I'm positive. It’s probably written in the tag on some archived linear timeline too. Not that I’d bother checking... why would I? Who wants to spend every waking second double-checking their own vague, non-Absolute certainties? Such a massive waste of time. Time? What about space? Can you actually lose space, considering how deceptive time can be sometimes? If you’re truly living life to the fullest—months of pure bliss, feeling like you're in heaven, an actual earthly paradise in your head... and then, in one split second, through some glitch that doesn't belong in reality, you "wake up." You find yourself sitting there totally passive, maybe for a while judging by how stiff my muscles feel, just staring blankly at two news broadcasts arguing over which version of reality matters more... down in Ward 6, Room 3 of some mental health clinic or psychiatric hospital... Did you lose time or space? Or did you lose nothing at all? Because you never really had either to begin with. Except for the chunk of my ear. Under those specific circumstances, anyway. Our little conceptual ownership of things is pretty weird...

Don't even start, man... actually, scratch that, sis... snow. Shoveling, salt, slush, freezing cold... Nah. If you're really that desperate for a white Christmas, just call your local plug instead. Besides, there's only about as much snowflake falling outside as your heart can handle. Or maybe less...

Joseph Bailey41 said:It’s a familiar feeling... like a fly heading straight for a collision with the Hegelian Absolute. The philosophy of history. Turn it into a thick, mushy mass of recycled Absolute. 🤣 🤦 🤣

There’s also those stretches where everything just... stops. Nothing moves, nothing changes. It feels like the whole world has been frozen in cryostasis. I think I read somewhere once—maybe in a song—that even when a river is trapped under ice, it's still flowing underneath. I can't stop thinking about that lately, especially since we haven't had a proper white Christmas. Part of me wants to wish for one, but then again, I’ve never actually been much of a snow person. 🕺

It’s been years since we last sat down together for Christmas. Seriously, years. I can't help but wonder—why don't you want to spend the holiday with him?