Dealing with someone struggling with mental health issues

Jose Green82 said:Honestly, I can't seem to shake them right now..

That’s just how it feels in the moment. Deep down, you have to believe you can overcome this. You have to believe you'll come out stronger on the other side.

It feels like you're just jumping headfirst into a muddy pit, and honestly, I don't see the point in dancing around it. I haven't come across any psychological condition where someone simply forgets how to call a thing by its actual name, unless we're talking about clinical amnesia. It seems like an absolute waste of everyone's time.

Run for the hills while you still can.

Egomaniac, selfish, and a total fraud.
He’ll play those hot-and-cold games just to mess with your head, drain your soul, and pick your pockets.

Don't be the naive girl who thinks helping him out of a jam will magically make him realize you're "the one."

He’s a cliché, honestly. Easy to spot.

If you fall for it, you kind of had it coming.

Or he’s just got another girl on standby to jump to if things don't work out with her. In the meantime, he’ll act all unstable just so he knows you're sitting there waiting.

Total hack, honestly.
Next.

Why is it that some women just jump straight to making accusations without having a single shred of solid evidence?

You're totally taking his side because you're playing the "crazy" card just a little bit yourself.
It pays off in the long run. Everyone looks after the lunatics; they get everything handed to them on a silver platter. They basically have more rights.

Who's actually crazy? Just commit him to a mental health facility and call it a day. Instead, they just wander around aimlessly, messing with everyone else. They know they can get away with it because someone will always fall for their act.

I've been thinking quite a bit about our recent discussions—you know how I get once I start diving into a topic!—and I really wanted to chime in on the points raised by Jose Green82 regarding the current landscape. It’s such a fascinating, albeit complex, situation we find ourselves in... isn't it? I feel like there's so much nuance to uncover if we just take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture! kaže:
So, here’s the situation, everyone... I’m 37, and he’s 40. He’s been divorced for about three years now—his ex-wife was unfaithful to him, which is just heartbreaking—and we actually met online just two months ago. We spent about two weeks messaging back and forth before finally meeting up, and well, we jumped straight into a relationship...To be perfectly honest—and I mean truly, deeply honest here—we’re both at that stage in life where things have finally settled into place... we've both reached that level of maturity where the games are over and what matters is the real stuff...Everything was going so smoothly—truly, everything was wonderful—until about two weeks ago... and then, out of nowhere, he just completely stopped responding! I kept pushing for an answer, trying to figure out what happened, and he finally snapped back at me. He claimed he couldn't find any connection left between us and that he simply couldn't enter into a real relationship right now because it’s too much of a trauma for him. To make matters even heavier, he actually confessed that he’s struggling with depression and... Fear... it’s such a heavy, overwhelming thing to carry, isn't it? It can feel like this constant, low-frequency hum in the background of your life—something that just won't quit even when you try to ignore it... and honestly, sometimes it feels like it's winning. But I truly believe that we don't have to let it define us! There is so much strength to be found in facing those shadows, even if our hands are shaking while we do it... So, even with the medication involved—it was Tuesday when he told me he’d give me a call this Saturday. Well, he didn't call... He finally reached out the following Tuesday, and once we actually connected, we had such a lovely, heartfelt conversation! He opened up and admitted that he’s been on Lexapro 10 mg since this summer started—apparently, he was feeling incredibly weak and just completely listless all season. There was even one week where he couldn't even get out of bed; he just stayed lying there, which is ultimately what led him to see his doctor... During our talk, he mentioned how much lighter he felt just by being honest with me—sharing the whole problem—and he expressed so much gratitude for my support while he works through his recovery. It really hit home when he said that a person can feel so helpless when they're facing everything alone... He was just so sweet, saying all the kindest things imaginable... And then, sure enough, I woke up this morning to a message from him!😁Good morning... I spent a good portion of last night just sitting there, thinking about us and the situation with my girlfriend—it’s been weighing heavily on my mind. To be completely honest, I’m feeling pretty low right now, just sort of empty inside... and this new relationship is honestly starting to feel like a lot of pressure. It might be the health issues I've been dealing with, or maybe it's just the fact that I am still reeling from my previous relationship—which ended back in May after seven months together. I think I really just need some space to find my footing again and give my head a chance to rest from everything going on. Please, try to understand where I'm coming from and accept this... I’m simply not in a place where I can handle a new relationship right now. I am so sorry...
I actually sat him down and asked him straight up how bad it really was—how empty he felt inside. He told me it’s like he’s been completely blocked off from feeling any kind of love... just totally hollowed out. It honestly breaks my heart to see him struggling like this. I think he just needs some space and time to work through it until things start looking up again...
I’ll just send him a quick note to let him know that I’m standing right here by his side...
People, I am reaching out because I really need some advice here... and please, I beg you, don't jump to conclusions or start pointing fingers at me. If you actually have some insight or can offer a bit of guidance, please write back—I’d love to know what I should expect from this situation, how I might be able to help, and honestly, just how you all see this unfolding... I am truly struggling to wrap my head around it all. How does someone go from two months of constant affection, showing up, and being completely present—pouring their heart out and showing so much care—to suddenly blocking me just like that? It feels so abrupt! Is this some kind of bluff? Or could it be a side effect of medication, like maybe an adjustment to Lexapro 10 mg...? Or perhaps it’s just a massive mood swing, or something else entirely that I'm just not seeing... I'm feeling a bit lost here...

I can't quite bring myself to believe he's being sincere—though, if I'm being honest, I suppose I can see where his twisted logic is coming from...

You know, I can't help but feel you might be looking at this through a bit of a naive lens... perhaps a little too optimistic about how things actually work out!

What exactly are you afraid of? Starting over with someone new? Honestly, you should tread carefully—you never truly know what someone might be hiding under the surface. There could be health issues or personal struggles he simply isn't ready to disclose yet... It’s entirely possible that his marriage fell apart because of a private struggle he was dealing with, rather than anything involving infidelity. Use this period of distance between you two to really gain some perspective—it might be just the breathing room you need. You might find that, once the dust settles, he isn't actually the person you're looking for...

Brandon Foster7 said:Run for the hills while you still can.

Egomaniac, selfish, and a total fraud.
He’ll play those hot-and-cold games just to mess with your head, drain your soul, and pick your pockets.

Don't be the naive girl who thinks helping him out of a jam will magically make him realize you're "the one."

He’s a cliché, honestly. Easy to spot.

If you fall for it, you kind of had it coming.

Or he’s just got another girl on standby to jump to if things don't work out with her. In the meantime, he’ll act all unstable just so he knows you're sitting there waiting.

I was going to share my thoughts, but Brandon Foster7 pretty much said it all.

There's nothing left to say here.

Maybe you were just a temporary distraction for him, but I honestly believe he'll reach out to you again eventually..

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately... but what if this is actually just an anxiety disorder? He mentioned feeling a bit unsettled by everything being so new—the move, starting a fresh job... I mean, how would you all handle it if you were in my shoes right now?

Why would you even bother with some guy who's got less backbone than a wet noodle?

Jose Green82 said:I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately... but what if this is actually just an anxiety disorder? He mentioned feeling a bit unsettled by everything being so new—the move, starting a fresh job... I mean, how would you all handle it if you were in my shoes right now?

Don't feel like you have to prove anything. It is true that there is photophobia involved.

She’s easy to talk to and actually keeps it real, too. She isn't one of those people who just jumps on every single bandwagon or follows trends blindly without thinking about it first.

I once knew a guy who used the exact same line

"I'm just empty inside, I'm not ready for a commitment"...

as it turns out, he was already seeing someone else behind my back 😬

and all he actually wanted from me was a casual hookup.

He played the victim—acting hollow, broken, listing all his family drama—but it was always a monologue about himself. Then, suddenly, he’s in a serious relationship with her, even though just weeks prior, he was pouring his heart out

☕
I honestly felt like Venus had sent her to take him off my hands..

🍿

I struggle with anxiety when making big life decisions, but when it comes to men, if I like someone, I like them. I would never admit to being insecure...

If he thinks he isn't good enough or assumes I lack self-confidence—well, if he says he isn't ready for a relationship, you're better off walking away and focusing on yourself.
Then you'll see the situation for what it really is, immediately..

Looking back at my own story, I realize that guy wouldn't have been right for me anyway; I only idealized him because there wasn't anyone else in my orbit.
If I had a few other options around, I wouldn't have given him a second glance.
Maybe you just latched onto him because you were bored?

Look, just let this problematic guy go—give him the wide berth he’s clearly asking for. Honestly, take it as a lucky break.😬 If he’s already making such a massive scene about his "struggles," what exactly do you think is going to happen later? You can't expect him to suddenly show up in better shape without all that baggage.🙂 You don't need that kind of energy in your life. Unless he’s willing to be at least a low-maintenance friend—rather than some chaotic partner weighed down by intense fears, anxieties, and a complete lack of basic functionality—you're better off without him.🥳🙂

Mental illness is just like any other physical health issue.
Either you accept someone exactly as they are, or you don't.
It’s the same thing as meeting a guy after two months and having him say, "Hey, just so you know, I use a prosthetic leg." So what?
Either he works for you as a person, or he doesn't.
If you think he's going to be a total nightmare, just walk away.
There is no shortage of middle-aged, divorced guys dealing with depression out there.
Go find someone who actually makes sense to deal with.

A guy with mental health issues? He could beat you into a state of total insanity. A man missing an eye or a leg can't pull that off. It’s not the same thing. What you're doing to yourself... that's a different story entirely.

Ethan Phillips said:A guy with mental health issues? He could beat you into a state of total insanity. A man missing an eye or a leg can't pull that off. It’s not the same thing. What you're doing to yourself... that's a different story entirely.

There is a massive spectrum of mental health issues and disorders out there. Honestly, someone struggling with depression or anxiety isn't exactly going to go out and beat anyone up.🙄

They’re just going to drain your energy and then try to dump all their baggage on you, both metaphorically and financially.

Run.
It’s pure smoke and mirrors.

It’s hard for people who haven't actually sat in a doctor's office to truly get it—they haven't been through the diagnostic process, after all. And honestly? It's entirely possible that some of those folks walking around without a formal diagnosis are dealing with much more severe struggles than those of us who already have something documented on paper.
Most people living with a mental health condition aren't a threat to anyone around them; if anything, it's often the ones who don't have a label or a diagnosis that end up being far more volatile.