I feel like a coward. I've lost my backbone. :(

I’ve dealt with similar issues myself.

This particular section caused me to grimace:

Because of this problem, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Since girls seem attracted to those "tough guys," I feel like I’m just not masculine enough. I can vividly imagine a scenario where I’m walking through town with a girl and someone starts harassing her, and I—acting like a complete pushover—can't do anything because I don't know how to fight or even hold my own.

1. There are plenty of young men who deal with threats and physical fights who have girlfriends.
2. In fact, many 19-year-olds who face zero such problems still don't have a girlfriend.
3. You mentioned this is a "traumatic and horrible period." Just so you know, there are traumas out there so profound they strip people of all confidence in romantic relationships... or even their desire for them entirely. There are much worse traumas than what you are experiencing.

Now, regarding how to resolve this:

There is one book: The art of Fighting without Fighting ( Thompson . When I read the beginning, I lost any desire to ever prove myself by fighting aggressors. Geoff Thompson used to be an incredibly intense fighter. When he argues against getting into brawls, his perspective is truly compelling.

I believe a major factor is whether—and how much—one's family steps up to offer support when a critical moment arrives. Personally, I had some rather difficult experiences with my own family in that regard, which served as a wake-up call regarding the true nature of our dynamics.

Moving away from my hometown was a wise decision.

Recently, I ordered some pepper spray.

I haven't explored the legal route yet. Imagine if we lose a court case. Imagine if the evidence is tossed out and our tormentors win, gloating and laughing right in our faces. Even so, simply having contact with the law has a deterrent effect on at least some of these aggressors. Because of that, the legal option remains a viable path to consider.
What it requires is this: you document everything. Record evidence and keep a written log of everything that violates the law, breaches social norms, or simply triggers your internal alarm. The potential utility of such records is endless. If not in a courtroom, then perhaps on YouTube. If not today, then tomorrow or after you move. If not immediately, they might become vital, compromising material twenty years down the line. Perhaps the act of documenting could even evolve into a relaxing hobby, or even a career.

Vitality and the drive for action essentially boil down to libido
Speaking of being outdoors, make sure you're getting enough Vitamin D. Nearly a thousand genes can be effectively silenced if you're deficient. Many of these are involved in cellular repair and various essential bodily functions.

Thompson's book also includes descriptions of techniques for deterring aggressors. You can find it on Library Genesis.

Hold on just a second there, Mario220!
Are you being subjected to this violence on a regular basis?
Do you find yourself getting beaten up constantly?
Are we talking actual physical injuries here?
Bruises, broken bones, swelling—that sort of thing?

You need to get yourself to an emergency room immediately—one where they are legally obligated to file an official report regarding physical assault.
Make sure you document the names and full identities of everyone involved!
They shouldn't be allowed to just walk away without facing any consequences.
I’m certain there are other victims out there, too.
It is time to band together and take decisive action!
Surely the legal system in this country has some recourse for situations like this!

Karen Morgan6 said:First piece of advice: hit the gym. Consistency is everything when it comes to training. Second: adopt a bit of that Fight Club philosophy. You have to realize that we’re all just human beings, and everyone feels fear. The difference is, you aren't afraid of getting into a scrap; you’re afraid of the embarrassment. Let me tell you from experience—back when I was your age, I once laid out some local tough guy. And his big move? He called the cops on me... All this talk about walls and ego... Look, if someone actually jumps you, call the police and leave it at that. Don't overthink the fights. Just get out there, enjoy life, and meet someone great. If some girl tries to egg you on to go fight someone, don't fall for it. Just tell her straight up that she's being immature, and walk away. Avoid girls who push you toward violence; they’re usually nothing but trouble. Best regards. Oh, and I forgot to mention: I used to be exactly like you, but you should never stop learning as long as you're alive!

Here is a good breakdown on the victim mentality. It’s spot on. Everyone feels fear, but the goal is to work on yourself and build actual self-confidence. That’s the whole point.

granitebear8 said:I’ve dealt with similar issues myself.

This particular section caused me to grimace:

Because of this problem, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Since girls seem attracted to those "tough guys," I feel like I’m just not masculine enough. I can vividly imagine a scenario where I’m walking through town with a girl and someone starts harassing her, and I—acting like a complete pushover—can't do anything because I don't know how to fight or even hold my own.

1. There are plenty of young men who deal with threats and physical fights who have girlfriends.
2. In fact, many 19-year-olds who face zero such problems still don't have a girlfriend.
3. You mentioned this is a "traumatic and horrible period." Just so you know, there are traumas out there so profound they strip people of all confidence in romantic relationships... or even their desire for them entirely. There are much worse traumas than what you are experiencing.

Now, regarding how to resolve this:

There is one book: The art of Fighting without Fighting ( Thompson . When I read the beginning, I lost any desire to ever prove myself by fighting aggressors. Geoff Thompson used to be an incredibly intense fighter. When he argues against getting into brawls, his perspective is truly compelling.

I believe a major factor is whether—and how much—one's family steps up to offer support when a critical moment arrives. Personally, I had some rather difficult experiences with my own family in that regard, which served as a wake-up call regarding the true nature of our dynamics.

Moving away from my hometown was a wise decision.

Recently, I ordered some pepper spray.

I haven't explored the legal route yet. Imagine if we lose a court case. Imagine if the evidence is tossed out and our tormentors win, gloating and laughing right in our faces. Even so, simply having contact with the law has a deterrent effect on at least some of these aggressors. Because of that, the legal option remains a viable path to consider.
What it requires is this: you document everything. Record evidence and keep a written log of everything that violates the law, breaches social norms, or simply triggers your internal alarm. The potential utility of such records is endless. If not in a courtroom, then perhaps on YouTube. If not today, then tomorrow or after you move. If not immediately, they might become vital, compromising material twenty years down the line. Perhaps the act of documenting could even evolve into a relaxing hobby, or even a career.

Vitality and the drive for action essentially boil down to libido
Speaking of being outdoors, make sure you're getting enough Vitamin D. Nearly a thousand genes can be effectively silenced if you're deficient. Many of these are involved in cellular repair and various essential bodily functions.

Thompson's book also includes descriptions of techniques for deterring aggressors. You can find it on Library Genesis.

Actually, I think there's an even better one. The art of getting paid for singing without singing.
It's by the same author. ☕

Joseph Bailey41 said:Actually, I think there's an even better one. The art of getting paid for singing without singing.
It's by the same author. ☕

Let me see... Ah, sarcasm. A classic move. Well, let me put it this way:
It wasn't my intention to come across as pretentious or to recommend something hollow. It’s perfectly natural if my suggestion causes a bit of friction; nothing is ever perfect. You're unhappy with it. Many others were quite satisfied. It seems you're aiming to make me feel insecure so you can knock me off a pedestal... but you've missed the mark entirely because I am—down here on level ground with everyone else.

p.s. Using sarcasm suggests you want me to correct myself and stop doing whatever it is you find "unacceptable." Though, frankly, I still have no idea what I've done that qualifies as unacceptable.

granitebear8 said:Let me see... Ah, sarcasm. A classic move. Well, let me put it this way:
It wasn't my intention to come across as pretentious or to recommend something hollow. It’s perfectly natural if my suggestion causes a bit of friction; nothing is ever perfect. You're unhappy with it. Many others were quite satisfied. It seems you're aiming to make me feel insecure so you can knock me off a pedestal... but you've missed the mark entirely because I am—down here on level ground with everyone else.

p.s. Using sarcasm suggests you want me to correct myself and stop doing whatever it is you find "unacceptable." Though, frankly, I still have no idea what I've done that qualifies as unacceptable.

Oh, please. It was just a good joke and I couldn't help myself. 😁
I haven't read the book, but it sounds interesting. I just hope that other satisfied readers don't get this defensive when they aren't even being attacked. 🙂