Feeling Trapped in Life

Carol Turner3 said:Yeah, I'm done. Technically I've got three years under my belt, but I'm not feeling super optimistic about these last two given how everything is going and how little motivation I actually have left...

That part about feeling trapped... maybe it feels that way right now, but as you get older, you'll realize that nobody can actually force you into chains or keep you held down UNLESS YOU LET THEM. The choice is ultimately yours to make...

Look, I get that the decision is mine, but clearly I haven't been able to pull myself together enough to actually make anything happen on my own...

You can always shake things up when it comes to your social life if that's something you want to fix... just go for it! I don't see where the struggle is there...

I think I made it pretty clear—I'm just totally burnt out by all of this...

I mean, I really don't know what I have to offer someone like that. I'm not looking to cry on anyone's shoulder, I'm not trying to party every night, and I don't even have the cash for trips or hanging out with people...

Basically, you're only 26 and you're being way too rigid about everything. Life doesn't work like that. Everything is fluid, things change constantly, and there's really no reason to get worked up. I think you're seeing the situation as much worse than it actually is...

Maybe, but I seriously don't see any chance of things ever turning around for me. I might be able to steer them in the opposite direction, though even this current state is pretty rough...

I'm only saying this because, at the end of the day, I know myself pretty well...

You think you know yourself, but you are only 26. As the years pass, you will realize that you change, and many things that seem impossible right now will not only become achievable, but you will find it almost laughable how much of a monster you made them out to be.

Your fear lacks any rational basis. It is entirely internal. Ask yourself: What is the absolute worst-case scenario if I do this? Once you face that worst-case outcome and realize that the world keeps turning regardless, you will understand that fear is merely an anchor without any real foundation.

If you signed up for those two more years, then complete them.
You don't need to be a party animal; surely you have at least one friend. Reach out to them, go somewhere together—times are better now. Go outdoors, take a walk, try cycling or running...

You claim nothing interests or motivates you, but I suspect that isn't true. We all enjoy certain activities while finding others repulsive. Find whatever brings you a modicum of joy and try to do at least a little bit of it every day. It will likely improve your outlook.

Carol Turner3 said:I've pretty much laid out my anxieties through these posts, honestly... from this feeling of being behind in life, to having zero clue what I actually want or how to build a decent life. Plus, the realization that living a "normal" life requires a paycheck that's way out of reach given my current skill set...

How much more modest am I supposed to be, and for how long?

I'm not really sure what you mean by that, so feel free to elaborate... I'm definitely not talking about any fancy vacations or anything.

And I already mentioned that at the start—I don't even know what I enjoy anymore, because I'm just so weighed down by more pressing stuff...

There is no such thing as being late to start life; you are 26, not 56.
You don't need to have everything figured out immediately; you can figure it out over time. Who is actually born knowing exactly what they want to do? People evolve throughout their entire lives.

A "normal life" is a subjective term. Anything can be a normal life.

Given your current situation, I suggest looking for seasonal work in an area with plenty of young people and a good social atmosphere. That way, you can combine utility with enjoyment—earn some money, meet new people, and spend the summer productively. Check the Facebook groups for "JOBS WANTED/JOBS OFFERED (COASTAL REGION)." There is plenty of demand there. I know there are other groups for the Atlantic Ocean region as well. I would recommend Springfield.

Tyler Cruz32 said:You think you know yourself, but you are only 26. As the years pass, you will realize that you change, and many things that seem impossible right now will not only become achievable, but you will find it almost laughable how much of a monster you made them out to be.

Your fear lacks any rational basis. It is entirely internal. Ask yourself: What is the absolute worst-case scenario if I do this? Once you face that worst-case outcome and realize that the world keeps turning regardless, you will understand that fear is merely an anchor without any real foundation.

If you signed up for those two more years, then complete them.
You don't need to be a party animal; surely you have at least one friend. Reach out to them, go somewhere together—times are better now. Go outdoors, take a walk, try cycling or running...

You claim nothing interests or motivates you, but I suspect that isn't true. We all enjoy certain activities while finding others repulsive. Find whatever brings you a modicum of joy and try to do at least a little bit of it every day. It will likely improve your outlook.

There is no such thing as being late to start life; you are 26, not 56.
You don't need to have everything figured out immediately; you can figure it out over time. Who is actually born knowing exactly what they want to do? People evolve throughout their entire lives.

A "normal life" is a subjective term. Anything can be a normal life.

Given your current situation, I suggest looking for seasonal work in an area with plenty of young people and a good social atmosphere. That way, you can combine utility with enjoyment—earn some money, meet new people, and spend the summer productively. Check the Facebook groups for "JOBS WANTED/JOBS OFFERED (COASTAL REGION)." There is plenty of demand there. I know there are other groups for the Atlantic Ocean region as well. I would recommend Springfield.

I mean, I totally get that people change and their priorities shift, especially when it comes to what they want or what they can actually pull off...
But I was mostly saying that I really got a handle on who I am about ten years ago, and now I have a pretty good idea of what fits me and what I'm capable of... like, I know I'm not cut out for sales jobs or anything where you have to deal with too many people constantly, since I'm not that aggressive or pushy type—and yeah, that can be a hurdle for a lot of high-success careers in the US...

I get that it's all mental, but I just can't seem to shake it, and it feels like it's getting heavier every single day...
The absolute worst part is probably just this constant anxiety and the shame of it all...

And honestly, I don't even have friends to do those normal, chill things with—the stuff that would actually make me feel okay...

Quincy:

You say nothing interests you or motivates you, but I really don't think that's true... We all have things we love doing and other things we absolutely hate. Just try to find what brings you joy, what makes you happy, and then just try to do at least a little bit of that every single day... you'll start feeling a whole lot better...

What I'm saying is that I've never quite found my groove, but I truly believe if you could just relax a bit and redirect your focus toward something else... things might start surfacing that you could actually do professionally, or maybe just as a hobby that eventually turns into a career...

Quincy:

Man, stop talking about life being "late" or "starting late," you're 26, not 56... You don't even need to have everything mapped out right away, you can figure it out as you go... I mean, who is actually born knowing exactly what they want to do? People evolve throughout their entire lives... A "normal life" is such a broad term anyway, anything can be a normal life... So, if things are looking like this, I'd suggest trying to hunt down a seasonal job in a place where there are plenty of other young people and a solid crew both at work and in town... that way you can kill two birds with one stone: earn some cash, meet new people, hang out, and have an awesome summer... Check out some Facebook groups like "JOBS WANTED / JOBS OFFERED (FLORIDA)." There's tons of activity there. I'm sure there are other groups for the Atlantic Ocean coast area too, I know of this specific one. I'd recommend checking out Springfield...

It's not late, but it's not early either. The days just fly by, especially when you're stuck in this rut where nothing seems to be moving forward...

But in my opinion, everything you've done counts and serves as a solid foundation for something bigger later on...
Nowadays, the expectation is that while people are in college, they should be working in their field through internships, teaching themselves new skills, and picking up extra things they'll need... all just to show they're ready to hit the ground running, because let's face it, nobody wants to spend time training someone from scratch...

I feel like I’ve wasted so much precious time on absolute nonsense, you know? Instead of actually building a life for myself and growing into who I’m supposed to be, I just let it slip away, and now it feels like all those missed opportunities are finally catching up to me... and honestly, I think I've lost any real drive to even try and fix it...

I get that a "normal" life would involve grinding hard and putting in the work, but I just can't see the point in all that struggle anymore. I mean, I understand the logic behind it, but it's such a weird paradox because I just don't see the purpose in fighting for anything right now...

No, I really don't think I could pull off a massive leap like that, and I definitely don't have the guts for something so huge. Plus, if my track record is anything to go by, I’ve never really been able to hold my own in larger groups, especially when dealing with younger crowds...

I just don't think there's any help coming for me...🙄

Depression, social anxiety, obsessive tendencies... there are plenty of symptoms out there, and honestly, it isn't as rare as you might think. I guess it’s really important to reach out for help and talk to someone about the best way to start moving forward. Maybe some medication could help ease things a bit, too, but with the way you're thinking about it, it feels like there's no other real option than seeking professional advice. Otherwise, there’s a risk of just spinning your wheels in that same old loop forever.

Carol Turner3 said:It’s always a good idea to actually read something with a bit of comprehension before you start typing away...

Going through your sentences one by one to argue is just pointless, because honestly, it feels like your mind is already made up and nothing I say is going to change it...

You’re actually spot on regarding my opinion—it isn't going to budge. You read the situation perfectly, though, since it wasn't really my intention to get into a deep debate here, especially knowing how fixed your stance is. To be honest, I was more curious to see how you’d react to the specific approach suggested by the other Mao.😁 So, you aren't stupid, which is a decent starting point at least.

The reason I phrased things that way... well, I still remember your last thread where you quite clearly stated that you weren't looking for constructive input, so I decided to just stay out of it entirely. There were plenty of helpful suggestions offered back then, anyway. And what ended up happening? After a while—I can't quite remember if it was a few months or maybe even a year—here you are again, facing the exact same hurdles and airing the exact same grievances.

If your ultimate goal is just to wander through these forums fishing for sympathy or a pat on the head, well, you're doing a great job, so keep at it if that's what makes you happy. There will always be someone willing to play along with that need for validation. But if you actually want to move the needle in your life, you've already been given more than enough advice; you might just need to step away from the screen and focus on your actual day-to-day reality. Then again, people have already told you that too, so... o&o 👋

Carol Turner3 said:I was wondering if anyone here has ever been through this, lived it, and maybe even found a way out... or if I could just vent for a second to get it off my chest 🙄

I’ll try to keep this brief and just give you the highlights of what's going on with me...

I honestly feel like I'm trapped, like everyone is actively working to keep me from actually "spreading my wings" or moving forward...

And obviously—if my description makes any sense at all—that feeling is totally understandable because my life feels incredibly restricted from every single angle, whether it's money, social life, mental health, or whatever else hits me...

I don't really remember being someone who knew much about anything, but looking back over the last few years (I'm 26 now), after dealing with some struggles at college and a few other things, I just have no clue what I want anymore—honestly, I never really had a clear vision of who I wanted to be anyway...

I’m just not happy—not that I ever really was, if I'm being real—and I can't see anything that might actually bring me joy. The bigger issue is that with so much crap going on, even if I did stumble upon something that made me smile, I probably wouldn't even notice because I'm too preoccupied with everything weighing me down...

My personality, how I was raised, people not understanding me, and the total lack of support from those closest to me for basically anything... it's all pushed me up against a wall where I'm starting to fear absolutely everything. I tried looking for work for a while, but I guess that misery was pretty obvious during interviews, so I ended up giving up on that too. To even apply for jobs now, I'd need to hit the books, relearn stuff, and polish up my skills, but I just don't have the drive for any of it...

I truly believe that if I had landed a job even a year ago, it might have pulled me out of this funk—or maybe it would have sped up my slide into this current state—but I think it would have given me an appetite for life again, a desire to actually build something for myself...

But unfortunately, that didn't happen, and I'm just rotting away more and more every day, terrified of even trying, of sending out applications—since I've never been the assertive type—and I have zero self-confidence. I'm scared I won't be any good at a job, which is pretty obvious, and why would anyone give me a shot when I've never received a shred of support, even from my own family...

Even though I'm scared, I can say there's only one thing I'm becoming less afraid of, and it comes from asking myself: Why am I even bothering to struggle in this world?

I understand completely, and I am so incredibly sorry.😢
Please, just don't take your own life. I'm not a religious person, but I feel like we just have to endure this until the end.
All in all, I think you're a good person, just overly sensitive.
Any advice? For instance, having a pet, maybe a small dog or a cat, can help. And gardening—planting flowers or vegetables—can provide a sense of purpose.
I know how cliché and pathetic those suggestions sound, but I deal with similar struggles myself, and these little things are what keep me from total despair.

Charles Wright said:Depression, social anxiety, obsessive tendencies... there are plenty of symptoms out there, and honestly, it isn't as rare as you might think. I guess it’s really important to reach out for help and talk to someone about the best way to start moving forward. Maybe some medication could help ease things a bit, too, but with the way you're thinking about it, it feels like there's no other real option than seeking professional advice. Otherwise, there’s a risk of just spinning your wheels in that same old loop forever.

I know, there's just so much to untangle...

northerncobra27 said:You’re actually spot on regarding my opinion—it isn't going to budge. You read the situation perfectly, though, since it wasn't really my intention to get into a deep debate here, especially knowing how fixed your stance is. To be honest, I was more curious to see how you’d react to the specific approach suggested by the other Mao.😁 So, you aren't stupid, which is a decent starting point at least.

The reason I phrased things that way... well, I still remember your last thread where you quite clearly stated that you weren't looking for constructive input, so I decided to just stay out of it entirely. There were plenty of helpful suggestions offered back then, anyway. And what ended up happening? After a while—I can't quite remember if it was a few months or maybe even a year—here you are again, facing the exact same hurdles and airing the exact same grievances.

If your ultimate goal is just to wander through these forums fishing for sympathy or a pat on the head, well, you're doing a great job, so keep at it if that's what makes you happy. There will always be someone willing to play along with that need for validation. But if you actually want to move the needle in your life, you've already been given more than enough advice; you might just need to step away from the screen and focus on your actual day-to-day reality. Then again, people have already told you that too, so... o&o 👋

That last part of your post was already answered at the very beginning of this thread...

Thanks for sharing...

Sam Wright21 said:I understand completely, and I am so incredibly sorry.😢
Please, just don't take your own life. I'm not a religious person, but I feel like we just have to endure this until the end.
All in all, I think you're a good person, just overly sensitive.
Any advice? For instance, having a pet, maybe a small dog or a cat, can help. And gardening—planting flowers or vegetables—can provide a sense of purpose.
I know how cliché and pathetic those suggestions sound, but I deal with similar struggles myself, and these little things are what keep me from total despair.

The advice is actually pretty solid...

But it feels like that's just one more way to redirect my thoughts somewhere else, to retreat into that little world and escape everything...

And then life just happens to you all at once...

Hang in there 🙄

Carol Turner3 said:I know, there's just so much to untangle...

That last part of your post was already answered at the very beginning of this thread...

Thanks for sharing...

The advice is actually pretty solid...

But it feels like that's just one more way to redirect my thoughts somewhere else, to retreat into that little world and escape everything...

And then life just happens to you all at once...

Hang in there 🙄

If you finished a few years of college, you probably have a sense of what it takes to pass a final exam. Life is pretty much the same way. Maybe try writing down all the advice you've been given—because some of it is actually useful—and build a step-by-step plan to tackle things gradually. Once you see those small changes starting to happen because of your own effort, I guess you'll find the motivation to keep going. If you just brush it all off and make excuses, you could spend your whole life complaining. It’s really up to you.

Megan Patel69 said:If you finished a few years of college, you probably have a sense of what it takes to pass a final exam. Life is pretty much the same way. Maybe try writing down all the advice you've been given—because some of it is actually useful—and build a step-by-step plan to tackle things gradually. Once you see those small changes starting to happen because of your own effort, I guess you'll find the motivation to keep going. If you just brush it all off and make excuses, you could spend your whole life complaining. It’s really up to you.

To be totally honest with you? I honestly don't know... I mostly breezed through my exams without really breaking a sweat or doing much studying at all, which is kind of the core of my problem because I never really developed that discipline for sitting down and grinding for hours on end...

Quincy:

Life works the exact same way. What if you just sat down and wrote out every single piece of advice you've ever received—because some of it is actually gold—and then built a step-by-step roadmap to slowly start changing things up? Once you start seeing those little wins happen because of your own hard work, that's when the real motivation kicks in... If you just toss it all aside and come up with another excuse, well, you can spend your whole life complaining, I guess. It's all on you...

But what if I fail and just lose all my drive in the process?

In a weird way, both college and everything else I've dealt with so far has just been about trying to keep my head above water, so what am I even gaining from all this struggle? (And I'm not just talking about a career)...

Carol Turner3 said:To be totally honest with you? I honestly don't know... I mostly breezed through my exams without really breaking a sweat or doing much studying at all, which is kind of the core of my problem because I never really developed that discipline for sitting down and grinding for hours on end...

Quincy:

Life works the exact same way. What if you just sat down and wrote out every single piece of advice you've ever received—because some of it is actually gold—and then built a step-by-step roadmap to slowly start changing things up? Once you start seeing those little wins happen because of your own hard work, that's when the real motivation kicks in... If you just toss it all aside and come up with another excuse, well, you can spend your whole life complaining, I guess. It's all on you...

But what if I fail and just lose all my drive in the process?

In a weird way, both college and everything else I've dealt with so far has just been about trying to keep my head above water, so what am I even gaining from all this struggle? (And I'm not just talking about a career)...

So what? Just like everyone else, you stumble, you get back up, and you keep moving. At least you gain some experience that makes you a bit sharper or wiser. Or you could just quit everything because you aren't feeling it and claim there's no point, and then end up begging on a street corner. Maybe that would give you some inspiration to change things. Honestly, just be grateful. Watch a few documentaries about poverty in developing nations and see how people struggle just to survive; they can still find happiness with almost nothing. If your expectations are too high, you're just going to stay disappointed. Anyway, I think you should probably see a psychiatrist, like a few people have already suggested.

Megan Patel69 said:So what? Just like everyone else, you stumble, you get back up, and you keep moving. At least you gain some experience that makes you a bit sharper or wiser. Or you could just quit everything because you aren't feeling it and claim there's no point, and then end up begging on a street corner. Maybe that would give you some inspiration to change things. Honestly, just be grateful. Watch a few documentaries about poverty in developing nations and see how people struggle just to survive; they can still find happiness with almost nothing. If your expectations are too high, you're just going to stay disappointed. Anyway, I think you should probably see a psychiatrist, like a few people have already suggested.

Thanks so much!

I suppose so.
But what about the countries that actually manufacture these wars in the first place?
We really ought to be grateful for how much we've had to struggle here.

Get yourself a job waiting tables at a cafe right across from a high school—high schoolers will be lining up at the bar just to flirt with you. You’ll be hanging out with tons of young guys and girls, constant talking, laughing, cracking jokes, and just nonstop social energy. Honestly? It's pure chaos in the best way possible—plenty of flirting, plenty of cash, and endless fun with young crowds. Life would be a total blast. A buddy of mine works behind the counter near a local high school, and since he's tall, good-looking, and actually friendly, those high school kids hit him up every single day. He’s having the time of his life.

Carol Turner3, honestly, reading this feels like looking in a mirror... maybe not at 26, but I’m definitely in that same headspace somewhere down the line.

To be real, I spent most of my youth just totally lost, and things got even more intense once I finally finished college. I always had this massive issue with authority and rules, and the thought of being stuck in some soul-crushing corporate grind, dragging myself out of bed every single morning... man, that terrified me. (I mean, I was always a hard worker, but strictly on my own terms, you know?) I hated the idea of everyone forcing me to "grow up," but mostly, I just felt pathetic because I had zero clue what I actually wanted. Nothing made sense. I had zero motivation for anything, and honestly, neither good nor bad relationships helped fix that void.

I struggled with suicidal thoughts quite a bit—not just during that specific window, either—and it wasn't until much later that I realized I’d probably been dealing with some form of depression or maybe even burnout for a long damn time.

I eventually pulled myself together, though if I’m being totally honest, I don’t even know how or what the tipping point was that dragged me out of the gutter. It wasn't some overnight transformation; it was this long, grueling process over years.

In the beginning, I think autogenic training actually helped me find some footing. In the years following that, life hit me with two massive setbacks (which I bear some responsibility for, which only made the healing process way more brutal), and God, I suffered through so much because of my own perfectionism and negativity, both in my career and just living my life. Looking back now, it feels like those hits forced all these deep-seated issues to the surface—things I absolutely had to deal with, things I wouldn't have been able to handle before.

Then, almost by total accident, I started getting into fitness, and I really think that played a huge role. Physical activity just resets your brain and brings everything back into balance. Plus, I was living in such a beautiful part of the country, and since I've always been an outdoorsy person who needs fresh air, that meant the world to me.

I’m happy now. Objectively speaking, my situation isn't perfect, and by certain societal standards, it might look way worse than it did ten years ago. But I feel good. I get excited, I laugh, I get pissed off, I cry, I dance. I don't spend all my energy obsessing over the past or worrying about the future anymore. I accept things... or at least, I’m doing my absolute best to just embrace life as it comes.

Just take small steps. Go for a walk, move your body (healthy body, healthy mind, or at least there's a better shot at it), apply for a job that actually sounds cool to you, anywhere in the world, even if it’s not what you studied. Try something like Workaway, or go volunteer somewhere. I don't care what your interests are or what your major was, it doesn't even matter. Just lower your expectations and just *start* somewhere. Mess up. Laugh it off and keep moving. Good luck!

jadeowl2 said:Carol Turner3, honestly, reading this feels like looking in a mirror... maybe not at 26, but I’m definitely in that same headspace somewhere down the line.

To be real, I spent most of my youth just totally lost, and things got even more intense once I finally finished college. I always had this massive issue with authority and rules, and the thought of being stuck in some soul-crushing corporate grind, dragging myself out of bed every single morning... man, that terrified me. (I mean, I was always a hard worker, but strictly on my own terms, you know?) I hated the idea of everyone forcing me to "grow up," but mostly, I just felt pathetic because I had zero clue what I actually wanted. Nothing made sense. I had zero motivation for anything, and honestly, neither good nor bad relationships helped fix that void.

I struggled with suicidal thoughts quite a bit—not just during that specific window, either—and it wasn't until much later that I realized I’d probably been dealing with some form of depression or maybe even burnout for a long damn time.

I eventually pulled myself together, though if I’m being totally honest, I don’t even know how or what the tipping point was that dragged me out of the gutter. It wasn't some overnight transformation; it was this long, grueling process over years.

In the beginning, I think autogenic training actually helped me find some footing. In the years following that, life hit me with two massive setbacks (which I bear some responsibility for, which only made the healing process way more brutal), and God, I suffered through so much because of my own perfectionism and negativity, both in my career and just living my life. Looking back now, it feels like those hits forced all these deep-seated issues to the surface—things I absolutely had to deal with, things I wouldn't have been able to handle before.

Then, almost by total accident, I started getting into fitness, and I really think that played a huge role. Physical activity just resets your brain and brings everything back into balance. Plus, I was living in such a beautiful part of the country, and since I've always been an outdoorsy person who needs fresh air, that meant the world to me.

I’m happy now. Objectively speaking, my situation isn't perfect, and by certain societal standards, it might look way worse than it did ten years ago. But I feel good. I get excited, I laugh, I get pissed off, I cry, I dance. I don't spend all my energy obsessing over the past or worrying about the future anymore. I accept things... or at least, I’m doing my absolute best to just embrace life as it comes.

Just take small steps. Go for a walk, move your body (healthy body, healthy mind, or at least there's a better shot at it), apply for a job that actually sounds cool to you, anywhere in the world, even if it’s not what you studied. Try something like Workaway, or go volunteer somewhere. I don't care what your interests are or what your major was, it doesn't even matter. Just lower your expectations and just *start* somewhere. Mess up. Laugh it off and keep moving. Good luck!

I don't really feel like doing any of that, but thanks anyway...

I'm glad to hear things are looking up for at least one of us and that you're having a good time. Wishing you nothing but the absolute best...

Carol Turner3 said:I don't really feel like doing any of that, but thanks anyway...

I'm glad to hear things are looking up for at least one of us and that you're having a good time. Wishing you nothing but the absolute best...

Don't believe it, I'm just gonna go for a walk by myself🤣

Thanks for the good vibes. But seriously, don't give up on yourself. I mean, since you're already here...

jadeowl2 said:Don't believe it, I'm just gonna go for a walk by myself🤣

Thanks for the good vibes. But seriously, don't give up on yourself. I mean, since you're already here...

So I'm just rambling😛 I just love being outdoors and getting a little bit of movement in my day...

It’s almost like...

There aren't any actual chains holding you back, just illusions we let ourselves believe. Don't let that weight crush you.

Carl Rivera43 said:There aren't any actual chains holding you back, just illusions we let ourselves believe. Don't let that weight crush you.

But who exactly decided to impose those illusions on us?

Regardless of how those "illusions" managed to take root, they are hardwired into our brains now—it’s an inescapable reality that tells you those shackles are very much real.🤔

Wait just a moment, before I quote:

So, you're twenty-six years old and claiming you have zero hobbies, haven't ever pursued anything, and nothing interests you whatsoever??? How is that even possible? What have you actually been doing with your life besides staring blankly at a wall?? I suspect you are exaggerating when you claim absolutely nothing captures your interest. It seems more likely that you are simply being lazy and avoiding effort. Everyone finds something interesting; there isn't a single person on this planet who is truly indifferent to everything—be it reading, movies, art, sports, collecting, or making things... absolutely nothing.

If you don't want to look for a seasonal job—fine, you don't have to. If you don't want to continue with college—that's your choice too. But to say that nothing interests you?!

I honestly cannot grasp what your actual problem is or what your objective here is. I don't understand.
Whatever anyone suggests, you reject it. Fine, you aren't obligated to listen. But that implies that if you refuse to change anything, you are perfectly content with your current situation. In that case, why even start this thread? 🤔

northerncobra27 said:You’re actually spot on regarding my opinion—it isn't going to budge. You read the situation perfectly, though, since it wasn't really my intention to get into a deep debate here, especially knowing how fixed your stance is. To be honest, I was more curious to see how you’d react to the specific approach suggested by the other Mao.😁 So, you aren't stupid, which is a decent starting point at least.

The reason I phrased things that way... well, I still remember your last thread where you quite clearly stated that you weren't looking for constructive input, so I decided to just stay out of it entirely. There were plenty of helpful suggestions offered back then, anyway. And what ended up happening? After a while—I can't quite remember if it was a few months or maybe even a year—here you are again, facing the exact same hurdles and airing the exact same grievances.

If your ultimate goal is just to wander through these forums fishing for sympathy or a pat on the head, well, you're doing a great job, so keep at it if that's what makes you happy. There will always be someone willing to play along with that need for validation. But if you actually want to move the needle in your life, you've already been given more than enough advice; you might just need to step away from the screen and focus on your actual day-to-day reality. Then again, people have already told you that too, so... o&o 👋

It isn't that he doesn't want to—I think it's more that he's neurotic. Similar to me, really. Something in his life went wrong—messed everything up. It's all psychological. Why do others manage while he can't? He just feels incapable.