I don't have any friends

Here’s the situation:
I’m 20, give or take... I’ve put college on hold, I'm unemployed... basically, everything is hitting the fan right now. Ever since high school ended, I just can't seem to reconnect with my old crew. Everyone’s busy, which is fine, I guess. It's not that I'm shy or antisocial, but it feels like there's this invisible barrier, like I have some kind of repellent that keeps me from finding a real friend. I feel like nobody is actually interested in me. Like, why hasn't anyone reached out first? A simple "Hey, how's it going?" or even just a quick call? Every connection I've ever had eventually just vanishes. Or worse, they end up using me—taking advantage of me emotionally or otherwise. > my luck with people, I know. But how do you start trusting humanity again? And please, don't just tell me to join some social club to meet people; those types of gatherings aren't really my thing. ☕

Honestly, it makes me want to scream sometimes when I realize I have no one to grab a coffee with or just have a normal conversation. I'm not the type to go out clubbing or getting wasted like everyone else my age. Surely someone else feels this way? I love a quiet life, but not this boring version of it I'm stuck in right now. 🕺

Questions:
1. Has anything like this happened to you guys?
2. What's the move? How do I keep going?
3. How do you actually meet new people and let them in?
4. Is there a way out of this funk?
5. How do you make friendships stick?

Bottom line—just looking for some honest, friendly advice. 👍

I didn't really have much of a social circle back in high school, but slowly, I started meeting people who actually treat others right.

A lot of my friends actually came from online communities. Honestly, staying positive is what keeps me moving forward. Maybe I’m just a naive optimist sometimes? Perhaps. But I can see that putting in the work on myself actually pays off, and I’m definitely happier than I used to be.

You can pull yourself out of a rut if you just keep pushing, stay brave, and keep a little luck on your side!

Carl Rivera43 said:I didn't really have much of a social circle back in high school, but slowly, I started meeting people who actually treat others right.

A lot of my friends actually came from online communities. Honestly, staying positive is what keeps me moving forward. Maybe I’m just a naive optimist sometimes? Perhaps. But I can see that putting in the work on myself actually pays off, and I’m definitely happier than I used to be.

You can pull yourself out of a rut if you just keep pushing, stay brave, and keep a little luck on your side!

Thanks for the reply 👍

I really need to work on my mindset. Right now, I'm stuck in this negative loop because I feel like I've hit a total dead end. Nothing's moving. And honestly? Wandering around downtown trying to find someone to grab a coffee with sounds exhausting, not helpful. But the internet definitely helps bridge that gap.🙂

I’ve been in this exact same boat myself—I decided not to head straight to college after high school either, and yeah, it definitely led to losing touch with some old friends along the way.

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to focus on changing your scenery. Look into enrolling in a college or a local community college where you can actually get out there and meet a whole new crowd of people.
Building trust takes time, and honestly, friendships only really stick when both people are putting in the work. You just have to give it your all and see if the other person meets you halfway.

Try to look at this phase as just a temporary thing. Personally, I think everyone hits a rut like this at least once in their lives; for both you and me, it happened right after we finished high school.🕺

Keep busy, focus on your studies, and work on yourself. You'll feel so much more fulfilled that way, which helps keep those depressive moods at bay.👍

So, look, if you notice things aren't quite clicking, just start tackling them one step at a time.

I’ve watched plenty of documentaries, and honestly, they really helped me out. You just have to start connecting the dots between different events, and suddenly, better ideas start flowing.

And there's definitely some truth to that whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. So, just take it slow, right? Oh, and music! Even when I'm feeling completely down in the dumps, a good song can totally lift my spirits.
I mean, I don't exactly have the voice of an angel, but hey, my friends seem to enjoy my company anyway.

rustydrifter14 said:I’ve been in this exact same boat myself—I decided not to head straight to college after high school either, and yeah, it definitely led to losing touch with some old friends along the way.

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to focus on changing your scenery. Look into enrolling in a college or a local community college where you can actually get out there and meet a whole new crowd of people.
Building trust takes time, and honestly, friendships only really stick when both people are putting in the work. You just have to give it your all and see if the other person meets you halfway.

Try to look at this phase as just a temporary thing. Personally, I think everyone hits a rut like this at least once in their lives; for both you and me, it happened right after we finished high school.🕺

Keep busy, focus on your studies, and work on yourself. You'll feel so much more fulfilled that way, which helps keep those depressive moods at bay.👍

Self-improvement is definitely the key to avoiding depression. Changing my environment is an option, but let's face it—money is tight, so I'm crossing that off the list for now. Switching majors is on the table, though. I’m planning to head back to school this fall for a different program, so maybe some new friendships will happen there. 🤣 And if that doesn't pan out? Well, I guess I'll be job hunting... (unemployment offices, here I come. 😵)

Reading through these forums, I realized I'm definitely not alone in this, which helps a little. 🙂 But still, it's a pretty lousy feeling to be stuck in limbo like this.

Carl Rivera43 said:So, look, if you notice things aren't quite clicking, just start tackling them one step at a time.

I’ve watched plenty of documentaries, and honestly, they really helped me out. You just have to start connecting the dots between different events, and suddenly, better ideas start flowing.

And there's definitely some truth to that whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. So, just take it slow, right? Oh, and music! Even when I'm feeling completely down in the dumps, a good song can totally lift my spirits.
I mean, I don't exactly have the voice of an angel, but hey, my friends seem to enjoy my company anyway.

Oh, absolutely—music is everything! 🙂
As for those documentaries... I guess we'll have to see if Đelo Hadžiselimović knows his stuff. :P

Honestly, with everything going on in the country right now, a job hunt is something a lot of people are unfortunately facing head-on.👎
Maybe you can look at this period as a little nudge to dive back into work or pick up some new skills.

And hey, don't feel like you're out there on your own—you're definitely not the only one dealing with this kind of thing.😁 Don't let things get you down; eventually, you'll cross paths with someone who really sees what you bring to the table and actually values it.

Thanks, you too! 😁

No worries at all🙂 If you ever just need someone to talk to or if there's anything else I can do to help, I'm happy to be here for you😁

Shoot me a DM if you aren't feeling too bad. 😛

Angela Richardson91 said:Oh, absolutely—music is everything! 🙂
As for those documentaries... I guess we'll have to see if Đelo Hadžiselimović knows his stuff. :P

Don't be like that—Đelo Hadžiselimović basically just picks winners and everyone's good, but come on, open your mind a little (haha, sounds cheesy)—look beyond Hollywood or whatever's on TV. Read more. Reading is wild. Pick up some Haruki Murakami, maybe?
Or go with The Alchemist for a life phase

You'll have fewer of those self-reflective "southern" moments and less aimless hanging out once you actually fill your time (since you won't have any left anyway). Hang in there. 👍

p.s. Of course you aren't alone—aimless wandering is practically an American national pastime at this point🎉
Everyone else will just follow suit if they want to fit in

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edit:
I took a break too and everyone moved away—signed up for driving school, set aside some cash for other goals, saw Bob Dylan in Savannah, the crew would visit on weekends from college, I figured out my major and read everything under the sun

Honestly, so many people have gone through stuff just like this, it’s just that hardly anyone is brave enough to actually speak up about it in public.

And regarding those old record players and all that gear—it’s hard to even hear yourself think over how loud the music gets sometimes! Anyway, spring is finally starting to peek through. Isn't it great? The more time I spend out in nature, the better I feel. It really does wonders for your mood.

silentmason10, thanks, I'll give it a read :P

Carl Rivera43, I’ve been scouring the web for info on this, but honestly? Nothing concrete turned up. Still, isn't it better to speak up publicly rather than having everyone struggling with the same issue just winging it alone? :/

As for spring, I'm hoping it gets here fast. Maybe I can beat this winter blues thing before it sinks in too deep... maybe go snap some photos out in nature once the sun actually shows up? That always helps my mood!

That’s just how it goes.

I know new ways and ideas will pop up eventually. I even expect people to bug me with those annoying little guessing games because some fans can be a bit too stubborn and, frankly, not great. But honestly, once things start getting swept under the rug and it feels like too much, I just try to remember how I used to handle my own stresses. Step by step, things really do start looking up.

Take as many photos as you can! It seems like such a fun hobby to me. And now that the chaos has started, you really ought to capture everything while you can. Like they say, spring blooms don't last forever before everything turns green and moves on.

I either handle business or I stay quiet—you can take it or leave it 🤣

Hopefully those spring flowers are blooming by now, if they haven't already. It’s just nicer that way :P Plus, I’d much rather look at some green grass than this muddy mess from all the rain 😠

Yeah, right now we’re getting soaked with too much rain, but then come the summer months and it’s bone dry—you’ll be trading the mud for clouds of dust instead.

It’s actually better if you just dive straight into the middle of things, you know? Just go *in media res*. Why bother with all those scenic detours anyway? Sometimes taking the long way around just makes you feel even more restless {and leaves your soul searching for some peace}.

I should have just laid all my cards on the table from the jump. At least then the real ones would’ve stuck around while the fence-sitters cleared out. :P But no, of course I have to take the long way around. It’ll pass eventually, though. Maybe I'll finally learn my lesson? (Would be nice, after all these years.)

Honestly, turning to dust sounds better. At least you can scatter yourself in a creek, a river, or the ocean. :P

Yeah, true. It’s like looking at the aftermath of a big battle and wondering, "What if?"

Look, we all learn from mistakes—both our own and everyone else's. Sometimes things just turn out bad, and sometimes they don't, even when you think they will. It’s often just about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And sure, it’s good to be aware when there's a crisis, but you shouldn't always overthink everything. Some problems aren't nearly as scary as they seem in the moment.

Anyway, my brother absolutely hates mosquitoes and this sweltering heat, but honestly? I don't mind them one bit. Though, I have to admit, the ragweed is really starting to get to me.

First off, you really need to have an honest conversation with yourself. Life isn't just happening in this exact second while you're going through the motions of your daily routine; it’s a long, ongoing process.
Just because things feel like they're falling apart right now doesn't mean you'll still be in this mess a week from now. That’s the key takeaway here. Don't let a single bad moment break you—keep your eyes on a brighter future ahead. :-)