Dating a "normal" person vs. someone "unstable.

Benjamin Wood5 said:You basically have your own specific struggle here.
And you want to carry that weight around for the rest of your life.
Because, plain and simple, you don't actually want a "normal," healthy life.

You aren't even trying to fix the root cause of any of this.

So, what's the end goal here?

Unfortunately, I’m just hungry for success. I want to live the kind of life I've always dreamed about.

Chris Robinson25 said:I’d love to keep this thread right here because I have a specific question about my particular "situation."

Long story short, I’ve got a crush on someone. Lately, I've found myself drawn to girls who deal with mental health diagnoses, mostly because they actually give me what I'm looking for. I need mutual support and genuine empathy—things I just haven't found with "neurotypical" guys. Honestly, I'm just relieved I can open up to her without worrying she’ll laugh at me or judge me. With most regular guys, if I mention anything personal, the reaction is usually just: 😲 + 🙂 .

The reason I’m posting is that my former therapist thinks I should be looking for a "healthy" partner, which I really don't buy. 😬 My mom feels the exact same way. I haven't asked my current doctor yet, but I definitely plan to. 😁

Anyway, for those of you in relationships—whether your partner has a diagnosis or not—what’s it like? Are you happy with your choice? Do you find that level of understanding even when things might seem "unclear" to the outside world?

Let me know. 😁

My ex—well, he still is, technically—had Borderline Personality Disorder. I let him absolutely wreck a decade of my life because I was dealing with my own issues back then; I had zero self-esteem and convinced myself that I had to be this martyr, this savior who could fix him (that's what happens when you're young and incredibly naive). Looking back from where I stand now, it was one of the most foolish decisions I ever made. He devastated me, and frankly, I handed him the tools to do it.

Today, I am married to a man who doesn't have any emotional struggles whatsoever. In fact, he is remarkably stable, yet he remains deeply empathetic toward my own battles with depression and anxiety. I have realized that I deserve nothing less than that. At this point in my life, I wouldn't dream of being with someone carrying any kind of diagnosis. Period.

Andrew Doyle said:My ex—well, he still is, technically—had Borderline Personality Disorder. I let him absolutely wreck a decade of my life because I was dealing with my own issues back then; I had zero self-esteem and convinced myself that I had to be this martyr, this savior who could fix him (that's what happens when you're young and incredibly naive). Looking back from where I stand now, it was one of the most foolish decisions I ever made. He devastated me, and frankly, I handed him the tools to do it.

Today, I am married to a man who doesn't have any emotional struggles whatsoever. In fact, he is remarkably stable, yet he remains deeply empathetic toward my own battles with depression and anxiety. I have realized that I deserve nothing less than that. At this point in my life, I wouldn't dream of being with someone carrying any kind of diagnosis. Period.

man, you really lucked out finding someone stable 👍
i was just reading up on BPD stuff and now i'm wondering if that's actually what my ex had?
i swear, i have this incredible talent for picking out absolute losers every single time🙂

Sean Sanchez14 said:man, you really lucked out finding someone stable 👍
i was just reading up on BPD stuff and now i'm wondering if that's actually what my ex had?
i swear, i have this incredible talent for picking out absolute losers every single time🙂

They say "birds of a feather flock together," right?

Pretty soon, everyone’s gonna have some public microchip... broadcasting everything via open data. All your traits, skills, flaws, hobbies... medical records, criminal background checks, religion, birth certificates, the whole nine yards. You walk through a crowd using some AI app, and it triggers an alert in your brain... basically forcing some kind of "chemical attraction" to a potential match nearby....... Long live the technocracy. Enough with the mindless chatter from these weirdos...

..on a wild island, I'll hide my face
shame recording the heat of desire
so neither beasts nor birds recognize me
as I wait by the tree for bread
nameless eyes watching the face turn red
with endless curiosity...
cast out by the sinners in the cave
craving women from a bygone age...