What should I do, and how am I supposed to feel?

One family member I grew up with is living overseas now—somewhere far from the US—and they couldn't care less about me. They never check in, never ask how I'm doing, nothing. Yet, here I am, trying to force this connection, reaching out only to realize I'm the only one asking questions. It’s always just a monologue about their life; whenever I try to squeeze my own updates into the conversation, it falls flat. It’s clear they have zero interest in what I actually do with my life. Sure, I know that when they eventually visit, everything will seem "perfect" on the surface—but I'm tired of being the perpetual listener. Why can't this be a two-way street? Am I supposed to be an expert on their entire existence while they remain a complete stranger to mine? 😢 So, what’s the move? Do I just stop reaching out entirely and wait for them to contact me—which, let's face it, probably won't happen unless they need a favor—or do I just accept my role as the resident audience because, well, that's just how some people are? I refuse to be taken for granted, though. Is there even a way to test if there's any actual affection left, or is it just gone 😢? Even the other remaining family member isn't exactly great; honestly, being around people who share my DNA doesn't exactly leave me feeling emotionally fulfilled right now.

Wait, which clans are we even talking about here—like actual family stuff, brothers and sisters, or what?

cosmicbison182 said:One family member I grew up with is living overseas now—somewhere far from the US—and they couldn't care less about me. They never check in, never ask how I'm doing, nothing. Yet, here I am, trying to force this connection, reaching out only to realize I'm the only one asking questions. It’s always just a monologue about their life; whenever I try to squeeze my own updates into the conversation, it falls flat. It’s clear they have zero interest in what I actually do with my life. Sure, I know that when they eventually visit, everything will seem "perfect" on the surface—but I'm tired of being the perpetual listener. Why can't this be a two-way street? Am I supposed to be an expert on their entire existence while they remain a complete stranger to mine? 😢 So, what’s the move? Do I just stop reaching out entirely and wait for them to contact me—which, let's face it, probably won't happen unless they need a favor—or do I just accept my role as the resident audience because, well, that's just how some people are? I refuse to be taken for granted, though. Is there even a way to test if there's any actual affection left, or is it just gone 😢? Even the other remaining family member isn't exactly great; honestly, being around people who share my DNA doesn't exactly leave me feeling emotionally fulfilled right now.

Look, you have to do whatever works for you. Personally, I would never beg anyone—not for friendship, not for love, and certainly not for attention. In fact, I’d tell them to take a hike, along with every single year we wasted together (and honestly, the closer we were, the more brutal my exit would be). Let them deal with my reaction, and let them be the ones to figure out what the next move should be.
If someone is that indifferent or too dense to realize what’s actually happening, then there is absolutely no harm in letting the connection die.
At the end of the day, that’s just how life works—people hit a crossroads and head in different directions. It isn't a tragedy; it's just reality.

Andrew Doyle said:Look, you have to do whatever works for you. Personally, I would never beg anyone—not for friendship, not for love, and certainly not for attention. In fact, I’d tell them to take a hike, along with every single year we wasted together (and honestly, the closer we were, the more brutal my exit would be). Let them deal with my reaction, and let them be the ones to figure out what the next move should be.
If someone is that indifferent or too dense to realize what’s actually happening, then there is absolutely no harm in letting the connection die.
At the end of the day, that’s just how life works—people hit a crossroads and head in different directions. It isn't a tragedy; it's just reality.

Agreed. But most people can't handle being alone. They'll settle for a forced friendship that only survives because they’re doing all the heavy lifting—making the calls, checking in, listening. They accept those hollow relationships just to maintain the illusion that someone actually cares.
They hold on until they're strong enough to face the reality that the friendship is already dead.

So here’s the big question we all eventually face: is it better to be alone, or to settle for bad company?
Personally, I think being on your own is the way to go. If you stay stuck in a toxic circle, you might actually miss out on meeting someone new—someone high-quality who truly values you and wants to be a real friend.
I get it, though. You probably find yourself longing for the old days... your childhood, those things you used to do together when you were kids. That’s what you’re actually missing. But the reality is, you’ve both grown up now. You’ve become different people, and you might not even have much in common anymore. Plus, some people just have that one flaw where they only talk about themselves and never actually listen. Maybe that’s just how they are?

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