Religion classes in school - Megathread

Harold Cook2 said:So, what's the deal with religious studies? If a kid is signed up for religion classes at school, does that mean they're basically forced to hit up Mass every single Sunday?

Your best bet is to just ask some parents at the local school or people from the parish—it really varies by situation. In first grade, probably not—but I’ve seen cases here in town where they expect the whole family to show up, regardless of whether someone was working an overnight shift right before service. So—just check how things work in your specific area.

I haven't heard anything about skipping it in first or second grade; by third grade, it's pretty much mandatory everywhere. At least from what I've gathered, you can't really get out of it once you hit third grade.

Harold Cook2 said:So, what's the deal with religious studies? If a kid is signed up for religion classes at school, does that mean they're basically forced to hit up Mass every single Sunday?

Nothing is mandatory, really. You have kids taking religious studies who never step foot in a church, or whose parents are completely atheist. In short, there isn't a direct link between the classroom and attending service.
Now, once they start preparing for First Communion, then yes—it is clearly expected that you'll be in the pews on Sundays. But honestly, I think that’s just implied if you actually want the sacraments. It’s about living out that faith and showing up because it matters to you, not just checking a box to get it over with.

It’s exactly like how you're expected to show up to every practice if you actually want to make the varsity team, for example...

By the third grade, there’s this inevitable overlap between what they learn in religious education class and everything happening at church—the confession, the mass, how much the family actually shows up. It’s all one big interconnected loop where one thing basically dictates the other.
In the earlier grades, sure, you might have kids attending religion class who aren't even baptized or come from atheist households, but by third grade? I feel like it’s practically impossible to sit through those classes without eventually moving toward First Communion. Technically, you could opt out, but let's be honest—it would feel completely out of sync with everything else going on.

Back when I was in school in the mid-90s, everything was mandatory. You had religious studies in class, religious studies at the church, Sunday Mass at 8:00 AM. Saturday choir wasn't required, but it was highly encouraged.

There were annual exams held at the church for religious studies. If you failed or didn't show up, you couldn't move forward with your grade level—you’d just end up repeating the year for religious studies. No First Communion, no Confirmation, nothing until it was all sorted out.

The schools and the churches worked hand-in-hand. They swapped data constantly; they’d issue official certificates for everything without question.

From what I can see, the situation today is pretty much the same.
The only difference is they moved Confirmation from 8th grade to sophomore year of high school, just to delay the inevitable fallout a little longer.

Are parents actually forcing their kids to do this—and by extension, forcing themselves? No.

How many kids can you actually name who stay active in the church after their Confirmation? You could count them on one hand.

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Religious education was never actually mandatory in schools 😁 I went through school back in the 90s and I never attended religion class 😁

rowdypanther12 said:Religious education was never actually mandatory in schools 😁 I went through school back in the 90s and I never attended religion class 😁

Of course it was never mandatory.

I suppose this is just more evidence that certain people on these forums tend to spread all sorts of misinformation across various threads, presenting it as if it were their own lived experience or some kind of universal truth.🙄

It wasn’t just that it wasn't mandatory; even going to church every Sunday wasn't required, only a few times leading up to First Communion and Confirmation.

Back in my hometown, there’s this massive emphasis on hitting all those religious milestones—you know, the sacraments—just so people can actually be eligible to serve as godparents at baptisms or weddings later on.
It’s strictly for that one reason and nothing else. 😁

Then you’ve got people absolutely losing it on the priest because he’s dragging kids into church—since the priest doubles as the religious instructor, right?—claiming they’re being forced into things "that they don't even understand anyway, they're way too young to grasp the concept..."

But, of course, skipping it isn't even an option. It's just that stubborn, old-school mentality. 😁

It wasn't mandatory like it is here in the States. Take math, for instance—it was treated as an "elective" back then. But if you skipped religious studies at school, the folks at the church knew about it, and they had no problem withholding sacraments.

For the kids, having those sacraments mattered, likely because of that sense of belonging. For parents, it was about making sure nobody suspected they were Mexicans, or worse, atheists.

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nimblelynx7 said:It wasn't mandatory like it is here in the States. Take math, for instance—it was treated as an "elective" back then. But if you skipped religious studies at school, the folks at the church knew about it, and they had no problem withholding sacraments.

For the kids, having those sacraments mattered, likely because of that sense of belonging. For parents, it was about making sure nobody suspected they were Mexicans, or worse, atheists.

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I don't think that's really accurate, either.
Maybe that was the vibe in some small towns, perhaps, but in a place like New York City, it definitely wasn't like that—at least, not everywhere.
Personally, I never attended religious education classes growing up, but plenty of people in my class did; there were quite a few who never even stepped foot in a church on Sundays, yet they still went through communion, confirmation, and eventually had big church weddings later in life without any issues.

So, I guess we shouldn't generalize based on assumptions.

So first you call me a liar, then you pivot and suggest I might actually be telling the truth?

I have no clue what the standards are like in other counties or schools, and I certainly can't speak for your situation either, but I'm not sitting here claiming you're lying.

A handful of us, myself included, didn't go through the official channels because we didn't meet all the requirements. I got my First Communion at my grandmother's local parish by paying $33 under the table plus $33 standard fees, so technically I've got all my sacraments covered. I even serve as a godparent for kids now—presumably because parents want someone they trust to teach their children about faith. (Though I doubt that has much to do with the money side of things.)

I didn't get married in a church, and during the whole "general crackdown" era, I ended up marrying a woman on a Saturday.

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nimblelynx7 said:So first you call me a liar, then you pivot and suggest I might actually be telling the truth?

I have no clue what the standards are like in other counties or schools, and I certainly can't speak for your situation either, but I'm not sitting here claiming you're lying.

A handful of us, myself included, didn't go through the official channels because we didn't meet all the requirements. I got my First Communion at my grandmother's local parish by paying $33 under the table plus $33 standard fees, so technically I've got all my sacraments covered. I even serve as a godparent for kids now—presumably because parents want someone they trust to teach their children about faith. (Though I doubt that has much to do with the money side of things.)

I didn't get married in a church, and during the whole "general crackdown" era, I ended up marrying a woman on a Saturday.

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You started off by stating something that was just flat-out wrong—claiming that EVERYTHING was mandatory, which, obviously, isn't the case.☕
Then you moved on to this half-truth about priests keeping a tally of who misses Mass. Maybe they do that in some tiny little town out in rural Nebraska, but that doesn't make it a rule everywhere.

I'd suggest not presenting your own version of reality as if it's some universal truth, whether it's here or in any other thread.😉

In third grade, they actually keep track of which kids attend Mass. Some teachers are probably stricter about it than others, but it’s definitely mandatory for the students.
Of course, nobody in the world can force parents to show up, too. 😁

So, look, if you actually want the sacraments—yeah, then you’re looking at mandatory religious ed classes both at school and in church, plus showing up for Mass on a regular basis.
But the sacraments themselves aren't strictly required.
If checking all those boxes in that first sentence feels like too much work, you can just skip them and forgo the sacraments entirely. It's that simple.
Basically, nothing is mandatory here. It all comes down to what people (specifically parents for their kids) decide to do on their own. ☕

rowdypanther12 said:In third grade, they actually keep track of which kids attend Mass. Some teachers are probably stricter about it than others, but it’s definitely mandatory for the students.
Of course, nobody in the world can force parents to show up, too. 😁

Not every parish keeps track of who shows up or misses.
Like Leah mentioned, if it matters to you, you should probably just check how things work at your specific local church or with your priest.
From my perspective, if you have to "motivate" someone using a system of gold stars and penalties for something that is supposed to be a matter of faith, then something has definitely gone off track.

I’ve heard stories about people getting in trouble for missing a service in one neighborhood, let alone traveling to a different city, but I’ve also heard plenty of stories from the same era where they were totally fine with kids missing things for soccer games, family trips, or birthday parties.
People will agree to almost anything just to feel like they belong somewhere.
And honestly, I don't have an issue with that—let people be devout, as long as they aren't complaining or questioning why they have to follow certain rules.
They don't have to.
But if they want that sense of community, this kind of commitment usually comes as part of the package.

I remember a birthday party during the first few weeks of school back when most of the kids were still transitioning out of preschool. There was so much whining about why everyone had to attend a service together that very first weekend. And I just thought, man, it’s a blessing for the family, it's a way to start the school year right.
You made your choice. Just pray.

There is plenty of info online showing that religious education classes aren't necessarily bad for kids; for some, they're actually great.
We aren't talking about the 1990s here; this was 2018.
(And you can always ask around your own neighborhood, too.)

Let me clarify. I did say it was mandatory, but I meant that in the context of someone actually wanting to receive the sacraments mentioned here.
It’s a stretch to claim I said religion class is compulsory in the same way math or English is.

You can't deny that today, religion is just as much of an "elective" as it used to be. Doesn't it hold a special kind of status among electives, even now?

Everything I’ve stated is accurate—it’s the truth because that’s how it happened.

Back home, everything followed a strict sequence: you did First Communion before Confirmation, and obviously, if you wanted to move up to Confirmation, you had to have finished Communion first.

James Alvarez2 said:If you actually claim to be practicing, and I really hope you are if you’re signing your kid up for religious ed because you want them to receive their sacraments, then you should definitely be the ones making sure they're at Mass every single Sunday 🙂

What are all the other people whining about?
Do you actually have an issue with the priest? Or are you just repeating everyone else's complaints?

I’ve seen the same thing happen. Most people I’ve actually talked to have already had a massive blowout with him. He’s just this young, arrogant prick acting like he’s some big shot when he’s really nothing. Honestly, even the kids can't stand the guy.
Look, I don't have a choice. It is what it is.
Man, looking back at when I was getting my kid baptized... honestly, everything was such a disaster. Dealing with him and that whole damn church situation? Total nightmare. Just one headache after another.

So you guys are actually going to his mass?
Or somewhere else?
If you're looking elsewhere, you could just ask a priest from a different parish to let your kid take communion since things are awkward at yours.

What’s the priest even doing? What's your problem that makes it feel like there's no other choice?

Tyler Ruiz502 said:By the third grade, there’s this inevitable overlap between what they learn in religious education class and everything happening at church—the confession, the mass, how much the family actually shows up. It’s all one big interconnected loop where one thing basically dictates the other.
In the earlier grades, sure, you might have kids attending religion class who aren't even baptized or come from atheist households, but by third grade? I feel like it’s practically impossible to sit through those classes without eventually moving toward First Communion. Technically, you could opt out, but let's be honest—it would feel completely out of sync with everything else going on.

That’s actually not true. They aren't mutually exclusive. I've seen plenty of cases where kids skip the religious classes at school but still show up for the services at church. There are exceptions, obviously, but it happens.

Just because a family signs their kid up for religious education in the school system doesn't mean they're required to participate in communion or confirmation.