Religion classes in school - Megathread

We’ve officially entered the era of First Communion prep in our neighborhood... second graders are already being sent to religious education classes at the church twice a month, plus regular Mass attendance if they want to be eligible for their sacraments in third grade.

I was honestly floored when we received the invitation to the parent meeting regarding First Communion.

And then, get this—the priest actually has the nerve to claim that the religious curriculum taught at school has absolutely nothing to do with the church.

Yeah, there are plenty of schools where attending Sunday Mass is a regular requirement
And honestly, I don't see an issue with that. A colleague of mine is quite religious and goes to church every single week, so meeting those kinds of expectations wouldn't be a problem for her at all.

From what I gather, a sacrament isn't just something you check off a list to acquire; it's more of a confirmation of your spiritual growth—just one step in your faith journey and a way to affirm your commitment.

rowdypanther12 said:I agree. Religious education classes should really only be for kids who actually attend church on Sundays—families where faith and religious traditions are a genuine part of their daily lives.

But since that isn't the case, most kids are enrolled by parents who haven't stepped foot in a church since their own baptism or maybe a wedding years ago. Because of that, they just pull the kids out of the program as soon as anyone starts asking them to actually show up for services.

Honestly, I think religion classes should be for whoever truly wants to be there—people who have an actual interest and understand why they're attending.
The mindset of "everyone goes, so everyone has to go" doesn't really align with actual faith or even common sense.
It makes me quite sad to see kids being forced into church. They have to be pressured into it; I've even heard people say things like, "Just do this while you're young so you can get married in a church later" or "Do this now so you don't have to deal with it when you're older."🤦)

Benjamin Nelson8 said:We’ve officially entered the era of First Communion prep in our neighborhood... second graders are already being sent to religious education classes at the church twice a month, plus regular Mass attendance if they want to be eligible for their sacraments in third grade.

I was honestly floored when we received the invitation to the parent meeting regarding First Communion.

And then, get this—the priest actually has the nerve to claim that the religious curriculum taught at school has absolutely nothing to do with the church.

And it really doesn't.
As soon as you introduce grading and testing, it stops being about living a faith or finding joy in spirituality every day.
Once parents realize this, they'll stop enrolling their children in school-based religious programs altogether.

The more I think about it, the more I feel these classes exist simply because parents choose to send their kids there.
It's not because the system is inherently necessary.
I find myself feeling more frustrated with other parents than with any government agreement, teachers, school boards, or agencies.

The more I reflect on this, the less respect I have for parents who outsource such a fundamental thing as spirituality to an institution—especially one that will likely claim it has lost its ability to provide moral guidance at the next opportunity.

I would have preferred to go on my own; frankly, I don't believe religious studies belong in the public school system at all.

It breaks my heart that kids feel like they "have" to attend Mass.
The church needs to find a way to actually engage them, because right now, service is just boring for kids. They can't follow what the priest is preaching about, it drags on forever, and they're expected to sit there perfectly still and silent the whole time.
I honestly don't know a single child who attends Mass because they actually want to be there. They either go because their parents drag them along to check a Sunday box, or they're forced to show up just so they can receive their sacraments.

I’m not entirely sure, but in the religious families I know, going to Mass is just a normal part of life. It might get a little tedious when they're four or five, but kids actually seem to enjoy the community aspect and being there. 🤷
Besides, I wouldn't let my daughter attend religious education any more than I'd let her watch Big Brother.

Benjamin Nelson8 said:I would have preferred to go on my own; frankly, I don't believe religious studies belong in the public school system at all.

It breaks my heart that kids feel like they "have" to attend Mass.
The church needs to find a way to actually engage them, because right now, service is just boring for kids. They can't follow what the priest is preaching about, it drags on forever, and they're expected to sit there perfectly still and silent the whole time.
I honestly don't know a single child who attends Mass because they actually want to be there. They either go because their parents drag them along to check a Sunday box, or they're forced to show up just so they can receive their sacraments.

On the other hand, I know some kids who absolutely love it.
They usually end up being altar servers (that's the right term, right?🤔)
standing right next to the priest, helping him out while wearing those special robes.
It makes them feel useful and important.
I also know kids who sing in the choir, and they have a blast.
There is so much more we could do to engage kids in the Church beyond just attending Mass. If people approach it that way, it can be such a great sense of community.

And yeah, those are usually the kids whose families all go to church together.
Most of the time, it's a weekly thing for them, almost like a core family ritual.

We signed our little girl up for religion classes at school, even though we wouldn’t call ourselves particularly devout. We head to church occasionally, but let’s be honest—we spend more time admiring the architecture from the sidewalk than actually sitting in the pews. We celebrate Christmas and Easter, and she understands the basics of what those holidays represent (as much as a kid can grasp regarding Jesus and Mary...). Surprisingly, she’s absolutely obsessed with her religion class; it’s actually her favorite subject. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. I suppose her teacher has a knack for keeping things engaging. Just recently, she went on a scavenger hunt around the house looking for a rosary. Personally, I haven't the slightest clue how you actually use one of those things, let alone pray with it, but she was over the moon when she finally unearthed an old one her grandma gave her years ago.

The teacher subtly nudged them toward attending Sunday Mass, but our daughter hasn't shown much enthusiasm for the idea—mostly because she’d much rather spend Sunday mornings at her grandma's house than dragging herself out of bed for early service. We didn't push it. However, she did insist on touring the cathedral, and she loved soaking in all the details. To me, that's perfectly fine. She learns as much as her interest allows. When we did attend a service, she seemed pretty bored—we skipped the kids' service, assuming the standard one was more "age-appropriate," if such a thing exists. Whether she stays in the program next year is anyone's guess. We aren't going to force it if she loses interest down the road.

frozenrider15 said:We signed our little girl up for religion classes at school, even though we wouldn’t call ourselves particularly devout. We head to church occasionally, but let’s be honest—we spend more time admiring the architecture from the sidewalk than actually sitting in the pews. We celebrate Christmas and Easter, and she understands the basics of what those holidays represent (as much as a kid can grasp regarding Jesus and Mary...). Surprisingly, she’s absolutely obsessed with her religion class; it’s actually her favorite subject. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. I suppose her teacher has a knack for keeping things engaging. Just recently, she went on a scavenger hunt around the house looking for a rosary. Personally, I haven't the slightest clue how you actually use one of those things, let alone pray with it, but she was over the moon when she finally unearthed an old one her grandma gave her years ago.

The teacher subtly nudged them toward attending Sunday Mass, but our daughter hasn't shown much enthusiasm for the idea—mostly because she’d much rather spend Sunday mornings at her grandma's house than dragging herself out of bed for early service. We didn't push it. However, she did insist on touring the cathedral, and she loved soaking in all the details. To me, that's perfectly fine. She learns as much as her interest allows. When we did attend a service, she seemed pretty bored—we skipped the kids' service, assuming the standard one was more "age-appropriate," if such a thing exists. Whether she stays in the program next year is anyone's guess. We aren't going to force it if she loses interest down the road.

Wait, there's actually such a thing as a kids' Mass?! Never heard of that. What's the big difference?

Larry Walker24 said:Wait, there's actually such a thing as a kids' Mass?! Never heard of that. What's the big difference?

Honestly, I haven't a clue. I just know it's a thing. Usually, it happens earlier in the morning—Sundays around 8:00 AM, if I recall correctly. My guess? The sermon is probably tailored specifically for kids, maybe more singing involved, who knows 😁. I know they hold them here in America, but we haven't actually seen what one looks like yet.

Larry Walker24 said:Wait, there's actually such a thing as a kids' Mass?! Never heard of that. What's the big difference?

Usually, you just get the youth choir and a few more altar servers. Everything else stays the same. It really just depends on the specific parish.
The service here starts at 6:30 PM, though we haven't made it out yet.

Most big churches have specific services just for kids.
In our local parishes, it’s shorter, the sermon is geared toward them, and the music is way more kid-friendly—lots of songs about mom, dad, siblings, and teachers...
There’s usually even someone there specifically to guide them through the motions, telling them when to stand, sit, pray, or which part of the song to repeat...

I’m with Summer on this one. I wouldn't say they find Mass boring if they’re already used to going regularly.

But I totally get why it feels dull for kids who don't experience that at home.

And I’m not even gonna go there regarding that "you won't have to do this once you're married" nonsense. That logic is so twisted it's borderline abusive.

Susan James said:Honestly, I think religion classes should be for whoever truly wants to be there—people who have an actual interest and understand why they're attending.
The mindset of "everyone goes, so everyone has to go" doesn't really align with actual faith or even common sense.
It makes me quite sad to see kids being forced into church. They have to be pressured into it; I've even heard people say things like, "Just do this while you're young so you can get married in a church later" or "Do this now so you don't have to deal with it when you're older."🤦)

And it really doesn't.
As soon as you introduce grading and testing, it stops being about living a faith or finding joy in spirituality every day.
Once parents realize this, they'll stop enrolling their children in school-based religious programs altogether.

The more I think about it, the more I feel these classes exist simply because parents choose to send their kids there.
It's not because the system is inherently necessary.
I find myself feeling more frustrated with other parents than with any government agreement, teachers, school boards, or agencies.

The more I reflect on this, the less respect I have for parents who outsource such a fundamental thing as spirituality to an institution—especially one that will likely claim it has lost its ability to provide moral guidance at the next opportunity.

.
I mean, look, church religion is all about evaluation, right? Like, if you don't know the specific verses or you skip communion or confirmation, you're basically out in the cold—kind of like how you can't get into certain clubs unless you've got enough social clout for those Sunday services...😉 whereas what they teach in public school is more about the basics of faith mixed with just being a decent human being. In elementary school, nobody is going to fail you just because you haven't memorized a prayer yet, but trust me, you'll get flagged in a heartbeat if you start acting like a jerk or swearing in class.
Quinn:

I've been thinking about this more and more lately, and honestly? Religious ed stays in the school system only because there are parents who choose to send their kids there. It's not because the system itself is actually good. I find myself feeling way more frustrated with other parents than I do with the Vatican agreements, the teachers, the school boards, or the government agencies.

In my book, having religion in the school curriculum should be about introducing kids to spiritual concepts and teaching them how to treat the people around them with basic respect... and honestly, I wouldn't even mind if they touched on a bit of different faiths too.
But church-based religion? That's almost exclusively about rote memorization of prayers and songs just to make sure the congregants look "devout" while they're inside the building, without any of it actually carrying over once they walk out the doors.
I signed my little girl up for the school program, even though I'm still undecided about whether she'll attend the church sessions... First Communion and Confirmation aren't really my priority, especially since I've seen how much kids get pressured and bullied through faith in those settings.

Larry Walker24 said:Wait, there's actually such a thing as a kids' Mass?! Never heard of that. What's the big difference?

Oh, yeah, but usually only leading up to big holidays like Easter or Christmas, or during those kid-focused blessings... Though, let's be real, it's pretty much the same as a regular service, except the priests smile at the kids a little more. Although, in some parishes, they just call the standard Sunday services "children's Mass" when all the kids getting their first communion or confirmation are required to show up just to collect their little trinkets and rewards...😁

Lawrence Torres56 said:.
I mean, look, church religion is all about evaluation, right? Like, if you don't know the specific verses or you skip communion or confirmation, you're basically out in the cold—kind of like how you can't get into certain clubs unless you've got enough social clout for those Sunday services...😉 whereas what they teach in public school is more about the basics of faith mixed with just being a decent human being. In elementary school, nobody is going to fail you just because you haven't memorized a prayer yet, but trust me, you'll get flagged in a heartbeat if you start acting like a jerk or swearing in class.
Quinn:

I've been thinking about this more and more lately, and honestly? Religious ed stays in the school system only because there are parents who choose to send their kids there. It's not because the system itself is actually good. I find myself feeling way more frustrated with other parents than I do with the Vatican agreements, the teachers, the school boards, or the government agencies.

In my book, having religion in the school curriculum should be about introducing kids to spiritual concepts and teaching them how to treat the people around them with basic respect... and honestly, I wouldn't even mind if they touched on a bit of different faiths too.
But church-based religion? That's almost exclusively about rote memorization of prayers and songs just to make sure the congregants look "devout" while they're inside the building, without any of it actually carrying over once they walk out the doors.
I signed my little girl up for the school program, even though I'm still undecided about whether she'll attend the church sessions... First Communion and Confirmation aren't really my priority, especially since I've seen how much kids get pressured and bullied through faith in those settings.

Oh, yeah, but usually only leading up to big holidays like Easter or Christmas, or during those kid-focused blessings... Though, let's be real, it's pretty much the same as a regular service, except the priests smile at the kids a little more. Although, in some parishes, they just call the standard Sunday services "children's Mass" when all the kids getting their first communion or confirmation are required to show up just to collect their little trinkets and rewards...😁

So, I think that's perfectly reasonable.
If you don't even understand the core tenets of your own faith, how can you meaningfully participate in the sacraments?
It's just being honest about it.

(Though, I do worry that some people might receive them regardless of their knowledge, simply because the parish wants to keep their numbers up.)😢

Lawrence Torres56 said:.
I mean, look, church religion is all about evaluation, right? Like, if you don't know the specific verses or you skip communion or confirmation, you're basically out in the cold—kind of like how you can't get into certain clubs unless you've got enough social clout for those Sunday services...😉 whereas what they teach in public school is more about the basics of faith mixed with just being a decent human being. In elementary school, nobody is going to fail you just because you haven't memorized a prayer yet, but trust me, you'll get flagged in a heartbeat if you start acting like a jerk or swearing in class.
Quinn:

I've been thinking about this more and more lately, and honestly? Religious ed stays in the school system only because there are parents who choose to send their kids there. It's not because the system itself is actually good. I find myself feeling way more frustrated with other parents than I do with the Vatican agreements, the teachers, the school boards, or the government agencies.

In my book, having religion in the school curriculum should be about introducing kids to spiritual concepts and teaching them how to treat the people around them with basic respect... and honestly, I wouldn't even mind if they touched on a bit of different faiths too.
But church-based religion? That's almost exclusively about rote memorization of prayers and songs just to make sure the congregants look "devout" while they're inside the building, without any of it actually carrying over once they walk out the doors.
I signed my little girl up for the school program, even though I'm still undecided about whether she'll attend the church sessions... First Communion and Confirmation aren't really my priority, especially since I've seen how much kids get pressured and bullied through faith in those settings.

Oh, yeah, but usually only leading up to big holidays like Easter or Christmas, or during those kid-focused blessings... Though, let's be real, it's pretty much the same as a regular service, except the priests smile at the kids a little more. Although, in some parishes, they just call the standard Sunday services "children's Mass" when all the kids getting their first communion or confirmation are required to show up just to collect their little trinkets and rewards...😁

That just means the parish is disorganized and can't come up with anything actually different for the kids. It falls on the pastor, the chaplain, and the teachers teaching religion at the church or local schools.

As long as a kids' mass looks identical to an adult mass, you can't even say there's such a thing as a mass for children.

Then again, someone who doesn't go to church wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway. You can't just cut parts out of a mass. You can shorten things or present them differently, but that's it.

Susan James said:So, I think that's perfectly reasonable.
If you don't even understand the core tenets of your own faith, how can you meaningfully participate in the sacraments?
It's just being honest about it.

(Though, I do worry that some people might receive them regardless of their knowledge, simply because the parish wants to keep their numbers up.)😢

Yeah, unfortunately, that's a huge reason and one of the things that really pisses me off.

I had a priest once where you couldn't go to First Communion unless you were attending Mass (didn't have to be a kids' mass, didn't even have to be in our parish, didn't even have to be on a Sunday—but it HAD to be Mass). And you couldn't do Confirmation if you showed up in a dress that was too short or too revealing, or in heels you couldn't even walk in.

But saying "I'm doing this so I don't have to deal with it when I get married" is just hypocritical.
Why get married in a church at all if you don't want to? If the sacrament doesn't mean anything to you?
It's more expensive, there are rules, and it's more work.

Susan James said:So, I think that's perfectly reasonable.
If you don't even understand the core tenets of your own faith, how can you meaningfully participate in the sacraments?
It's just being honest about it.

(Though, I do worry that some people might receive them regardless of their knowledge, simply because the parish wants to keep their numbers up.)😢

I’m starting to fear that the actual foundations of faith don't even exist anymore; everything just seems to shift depending on which priest you happen to be dealing with at the moment.😁....

Kids get baptized basically because their parents want them to, and first communion at that age is pretty much driven by parental willpower too, so why should we even bother pushing these rituals on them?....I don't know, but in my book, wouldn't it be way more effective to actually try and make the faith relatable to kids during those years? Because otherwise, none of this stuff is going to matter unless it becomes their own personal choice later on...
Take my little girl, for example—she won't head to church on her own since it’s not exactly a walk in the park to get there, and look, I’m not exactly a devout regular who's sitting in a pew every single day... does that really mean the church automatically brands her an unbeliever based on my lifestyle and shuts the door on her ever finding her way to faith, even if she’s actually super interested in it herself?
Besides, isn't that whole setup kind of a massive contradiction to what the church actually preaches?

Lawrence Torres56 said:I’m starting to fear that the actual foundations of faith don't even exist anymore; everything just seems to shift depending on which priest you happen to be dealing with at the moment.😁....

Kids get baptized basically because their parents want them to, and first communion at that age is pretty much driven by parental willpower too, so why should we even bother pushing these rituals on them?....I don't know, but in my book, wouldn't it be way more effective to actually try and make the faith relatable to kids during those years? Because otherwise, none of this stuff is going to matter unless it becomes their own personal choice later on...
Take my little girl, for example—she won't head to church on her own since it’s not exactly a walk in the park to get there, and look, I’m not exactly a devout regular who's sitting in a pew every single day... does that really mean the church automatically brands her an unbeliever based on my lifestyle and shuts the door on her ever finding her way to faith, even if she’s actually super interested in it herself?
Besides, isn't that whole setup kind of a massive contradiction to what the church actually preaches?

Being a believer doesn't mean you're glued to a church bench every single day. There's no rule saying you have to hit mass daily. It mentions honoring the Lordly day. That's Sunday. If you can't make it Sunday, go during the week. Shorter service. Or just wait until next week.

If someone is labeling your kid an unbeliever just because you aren't constantly at church (which is honestly ridiculous), then that person isn't playing with a full deck.

James Alvarez2 said:Being a believer doesn't mean you're glued to a church bench every single day. There's no rule saying you have to hit mass daily. It mentions honoring the Lordly day. That's Sunday. If you can't make it Sunday, go during the week. Shorter service. Or just wait until next week.

If someone is labeling your kid an unbeliever just because you aren't constantly at church (which is honestly ridiculous), then that person isn't playing with a full deck.

I mean, sorry, but if that's the case, then most of the priests who refuse to let kids take communion because they missed the 9 AM Sunday service must be out of their minds too, right?😉

I mean, yeah, I totally agree—being a true believer isn't about being at church 24/7, but it seems like most priests nowadays don't see it that way.

Of course, I'm just talking about my own local parish here...

Lawrence Torres56 said:The truth is, kids only really have to deal with Mass on Sundays during 3rd and 8th grade for First Communion and Confirmation, mostly just so they learn how to actually behave in a sanctuary, right? For any other grade, nobody’s forcing them or even checking to see if they showed up.
Plus, parents can totally coordinate; they can take turns every Sunday, so one parent picks up the kids and drives them to service while the others stay home—nobody expects every single parent to be stuck in a pew with their kids every single week.

Anyway, I honestly don't get parents who go out of their way to enroll their kids in religious education classes and then suddenly find it such a massive chore to drive them to church, or worse, let them drop out of the program the following school year... I mean, what kind of message does that even send to a kid? If they decide they don't want to go to school tomorrow, should they just quit their entire education altogether?🤷

I mean, they clearly didn't realize that showing up to Mass would actually impact their kid's grade, so—get this—now they’re just pulling them out of the class altogether.

Lawrence Torres56 said:The truth is, kids only really have to deal with Mass on Sundays during 3rd and 8th grade for First Communion and Confirmation, mostly just so they learn how to actually behave in a sanctuary, right? For any other grade, nobody’s forcing them or even checking to see if they showed up.
Plus, parents can totally coordinate; they can take turns every Sunday, so one parent picks up the kids and drives them to service while the others stay home—nobody expects every single parent to be stuck in a pew with their kids every single week.

Anyway, I honestly don't get parents who go out of their way to enroll their kids in religious education classes and then suddenly find it such a massive chore to drive them to church, or worse, let them drop out of the program the following school year... I mean, what kind of message does that even send to a kid? If they decide they don't want to go to school tomorrow, should they just quit their entire education altogether?🤷

😲

You really can't compare standard academics to religious studies.

Surely a parent can tell their child, "Look, if you aren't feeling the choir practice anymore, you don't have to go since it isn't mandatory, but you still have to show up for school."😕

I truly believe faith should be a choice made from the heart.
If it stops feeling right to me, why shouldn't I have the right to walk away?

Another thing is how much the Church resists that idea.
They really seem to dislike it when people start questioning their beliefs.

But at the end of the day, a child needs to understand what a sacrament actually represents and what they are committing to by taking it.
The fact that most people just see it as an excuse for a day filled with cookies, family gatherings, and gifts says everything you need to know about the state of Catholicism in America.

Lawrence Torres56 said:I mean, sorry, but if that's the case, then most of the priests who refuse to let kids take communion because they missed the 9 AM Sunday service must be out of their minds too, right?😉

I mean, yeah, I totally agree—being a true believer isn't about being at church 24/7, but it seems like most priests nowadays don't see it that way.

Of course, I'm just talking about my own local parish here...

Yeah, any priest doing that has clearly lost their damn mind. We're all on the same page here...
Kids have other stuff going on. Sure, it’d be easy if they could all just roll up for the 9:00 AM service, but some of them have games every single week at that exact time... especially when school sports and club leagues overlap. Some families also visit grandparents, go home, or head to a hospital or nursing home—doesn't matter. Plus, some parents just can't make the morning mass work...
Look, you just go talk to the priest. Sit him down, explain what happened... that's what they're there for. Besides, there are services running all Sunday long, so missing one doesn't mean you've blown your shot at the next one...
If the priest can't or won't get it, and the parent or kid still wants to go to Mass, then you just find somewhere else...

Rules are one thing, but pure fiction is another...

Back before my First Communion, we used to run around collecting stamps at different churches... mostly just our local parish, but enough that I actually knew the priest and the youth leader. Every time I’d show up somewhere new just to hunt down a stamp, they were always super welcoming and gave me props for it...

If a priest only sees his flock as people who show up for Mass every single day, he’s got zero clue about the faith he’s actually preaching... total disconnect.
My old priest used to say you only need to show up at church once a week. That’s it. Everything else? That’s just living. Being part of the community... visiting your grandma at the nursing home, helping a neighbor carry groceries up the stairs, actually paying attention to kids on the bus, playing with the little ones, or just talking to your husband... that's where the real stuff happens...