Religion classes in school - Megathread

Exactly. Honestly, my main motivation for doing this is just so I can hear those interpretations firsthand—because around here, nobody’s going to give me the straight truth.
My husband seems to think everything follows the curriculum to a T, which is just wonderful (that's his experience, anyway. It actually drove him to start reading the Bible. He gave it a fair shot, though he eventually realized it just wasn't his thing).

I suppose we should let her take a leap of faith if she feels called to it.
I’m fully aware that this could either be a solid decision or a total disaster.
I don't need to walk in with a chip on my shoulder, right?🤷Until proven otherwise, I'll stay open.

We're definitely going to look into it further, regardless.

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Honestly, I feel like the ideas and values being pushed at that school just don't sit right with me, so I didn't give it a second thought when deciding not to enroll.

Remember that religious studies class where they actually claimed the owners of Ariella were Satanists? 🤦

The absolute worst thing our kid’s teacher told the class was that Santa Claus isn't real, which honestly just rubbed me the wrong way. Then she went ahead and told them Saint Nicholas doesn't exist either—claiming he was just some incredibly good man who lived a long time ago, but since he passed away, well, he's gone.

Anyway, my friend's daughter actually raised her hand during the first hour of religion class, stood up, and said, "My mom says you're going to tell us a bunch of different stories, but they're all just fairy tales, like Little Red Riding Hood." 😂

Now, her mom wasn't saying that to be anti-religious or anything; she just meant that Christians don't necessarily take all those Bible stories literally, viewing them more as metaphors (you know, like Adam and Eve or the creation story).

Long story short, the teacher just brushed it off and told the girl that her mother had it all wrong. 🙄

As an atheist, I find it completely unacceptable when my child spends one hour learning that they need to brush their teeth before bed, and the very next hour learning how to pray. To me, it feels like these two things—one being factual information and the other being "faith"—are being served up as if they hold the exact same weight and level of truth. In fact, the prayer part is often presented as even more vital than basic hygiene! It’s just bizarre. Or take how they teach that animals hibernate during the winter, versus teaching there's some omnipotent, all-seeing, all-knowing God constantly watching over her and reading her every thought. It’s the same pattern. And honestly, it makes perfect sense that a six-year-old would question this version of God and prayer just as much as they’d question the necessity of brushing teeth or the concept of hibernation. I really struggle to understand the ultimate goal of this kind of religious instruction used here in our school system, where everything is strictly denominational and woven directly into the standard curriculum.

Thankfully, they haven't quite managed to make it mandatory yet. They’ve just made it incredibly awkward to opt out by ensuring kids don't have any real alternative during those hours, unless they rely on the specific policies of individual schools...

Michelle Nelson4 said:I honestly just don't wrap my head around how someone can claim to be an atheist who carries baggage from religious education, yet their first instinct isn't to simply opt their child out. It seems so logical to decide right away, rather than waiting until they see just how much pressure there is to conform before reconsidering. During our first hour today, when the question came up about how many kids weren't attending religious classes, I couldn't help but lie and say we didn't know—mostly because I wanted to spend that time reassuring everyone that it’s not too late to change our minds if we didn't check the box for religious studies during enrollment.

And of course, you have those religious instructors writing posts about how everything is just wonderful, full of flowers and butterflies; I suppose that’s just part of the job description. But for a firm believer in atheism to be willing to accept that everything being taught is absolutely "super" and "fine"... I find that truly bizarre. Honestly, if you really want to sit your child down and explain why they might end up in hell, be my guest. For me, it was more than enough having to explain to my own kid—who isn't attending those classes—that hell doesn't exist and that we certainly aren't headed there. Not to mention the endless mountain of religious nonsense they dump on us through the school portals and parent newsletters.

I was thinking the exact same thing.
It feels much easier to sign them up than it does to try and unenroll them later.

As for those questions... my kid hears all sorts of things from the classmates who do attend. Sometimes there's something left written on the chalkboard from the lesson, so she reads it. She was even flipping through a textbook or a workbook while doing homework at after-school care 🤷
and asks us about it—maybe even more than the kids who actually participate.
So yeah, there is plenty of exposure to religion (even if we set aside Grandma, who heads to church regularly), and it's perfectly clear enough to decide whether they want to take the classes, get baptized, or go to church.

So, one of my close friends—who’s a staunch atheist (she’s actually the same friend who stayed with her ex and then moved right on to her current partner during New Year's)—has this kid who is absolutely obsessed with religious studies. He's a third grader and totally lives for it. We were recently hanging out downtown near a local landmark when he actually asked us to wait a second because he wanted to stop and say a quick prayer. He’s a believer through and through😁.

The thing is, his mom just rolls her eyes at him. Every single time he does something like that, she hits him with these sarcastic, mocking little comments. I actually spoke up and told her straight: don't do that. You’ve got to show some respect for his choice, even if he is only eight years old. Who knows? In ten years, he might decide he’s a hardcore atheist. Or maybe he’ll join the Hare Krishnas. Or become a Mormon. At the end of the day, that’s his call to make, and he shouldn't be judged or ridiculed by his own parent for it.

Religion is one of those things where parents instinctively feel the need to force their views onto their kids. Whatever they happen to believe, they want their children on the same page.

In my opinion, a parent who truly wants to support their child's growth as an individual should hold back. You have to give them the breathing room to think for themselves and make their own decisions. You have to respect their path—whatever that ends up being.

Mine is still in preschool, but the other kids already showed him how to pray, so he tries to mimic them here and there. Honestly, he just crosses his arms and opens his mouth without saying anything, then tells everyone he's praying. 😁

Of course. I wouldn't be happy about it, no. It would be just like if she decided to vote for the Libertarian Party or joined some fringe militia group. I wouldn't stop loving her just because of that; I might not agree with her choice, but I wouldn't make her life a living hell over it.

A six or seven-year-old's attitude toward religion definitely isn't some deep, informed philosophical stance; it’s just the result of religious "truths" being served up through home life or school lessons. Honestly, if an atheist parent wants to sit there with a straight face after an eight-hour workday listening to their kid explain how God put the food on the table, they're welcome to play along. They can indulge those medieval "truths" and even help the kid memorize them until they hit that developmental stage where they actually start thinking critically—be my guest. Personally, that would feel like a total betrayal of my own convictions, and it’s just not something I’d ever consider doing. That’s why when these ideas come home from school, we address them immediately and clearly (for instance, explaining that we, the parents, are the ones putting food on the table, not some imaginary deity). I don't care about worrying over whether they get a bad grade, nor am I interested in the hypocrisy of pretending to listen to something I don't believe is true. 😁 I want to be able to have honest conversations with my child, and I don't want religious topics to make that impossible.

@hiddendriver34 — honestly, it sounds like your friend is responsible for this herself by enrolling him in religious studies in the first place; I doubt he would have ever decided to go to church on his own. She essentially pushed him in that direction (and of course, I don't mean his current views are truly his own, but rather just learned behavior driven by a child's need to fit into social norms and their naive belief in authority figures and their "truths"). It serves as a pretty good lesson for anyone who wants to raise their children according to their own beliefs rather than contrary to them.

Michelle Nelson4, it’s obviously not. I’m right there with you—religion doesn't belong in the classroom, and honestly, kids aren't even at an age where they can grasp it. To them, spirituality is basically just science fiction.

That being said, I still think there’s some value in it for shaping their perspective. Let them experience that side of life—see the kind of people they're surrounded by and how those environments mold someone (you know, the whole submissive, God-fearing, uncritical, totally illogical vibe). It’ll serve as a useful lesson down the road when they're actually capable of forming their own opinions.

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A seven or eight-year-old isn't some mindless little robot that just swallows whatever you feed them. They’re actually starting to grasp that people can see the world differently, that everyone has their own rights, and that being tolerant of different views matters. Sure, the choices they make right now might be totally naive, and they'll probably change their minds ten times before they hit adulthood, but I truly believe they deserve the right to make those choices themselves.

@Michelle Nelson4, honestly, it feels like this militant attitude and total dismissal of anything "different" is just a way to force your own worldview onto a kid. In my experience, trying to brainwash someone from one specific angle during childhood usually backfires spectacularly once they grow up.

My husband grew up in an incredibly religious household, and by the time he was twelve, he had already become an atheist.

I had a completely different experience—religion was basically just something I saw through my grandmother when I was little, and today, I'm a theist.😁

hiddendriver34 said:A seven or eight-year-old isn't some mindless little robot that just swallows whatever you feed them. They’re actually starting to grasp that people can see the world differently, that everyone has their own rights, and that being tolerant of different views matters. Sure, the choices they make right now might be totally naive, and they'll probably change their minds ten times before they hit adulthood, but I truly believe they deserve the right to make those choices themselves.

@Michelle Nelson4, honestly, it feels like this militant attitude and total dismissal of anything "different" is just a way to force your own worldview onto a kid. In my experience, trying to brainwash someone from one specific angle during childhood usually backfires spectacularly once they grow up.

My husband grew up in an incredibly religious household, and by the time he was twelve, he had already become an atheist.

I had a completely different experience—religion was basically just something I saw through my grandmother when I was little, and today, I'm a theist.😁

Exactly. Honestly, I’m fine with her realizing that certain things are sacred to some people—you can respect that without making it your own whole identity.
I’ve already tried explaining to her that for those who believe in God, prayer and singing hymns can be incredibly soothing and comforting. We drive past this little convent quite often where the nuns spend their time praying and singing. So, what am I supposed to do? Tell her that the people living there are just idiots who don't realize God isn't real? No.😬

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Personally, I don’t have an issue with faith itself. My struggle is more with how women are viewed within the Catholic Church, as well as the stance taken on sexual orientation and identity.
I just don't want my child growing up hearing those kinds of views presented as absolute truths.
To clarify, if we're going to discuss why same-sex couples can't marry, I think we should do so with empathy and a sense of hope for progress, rather than just preaching about the sanctity of traditional marriage. 😁

hiddendriver34 said:So, one of my close friends—who’s a staunch atheist (she’s actually the same friend who stayed with her ex and then moved right on to her current partner during New Year's)—has this kid who is absolutely obsessed with religious studies. He's a third grader and totally lives for it. We were recently hanging out downtown near a local landmark when he actually asked us to wait a second because he wanted to stop and say a quick prayer. He’s a believer through and through😁.

The thing is, his mom just rolls her eyes at him. Every single time he does something like that, she hits him with these sarcastic, mocking little comments. I actually spoke up and told her straight: don't do that. You’ve got to show some respect for his choice, even if he is only eight years old. Who knows? In ten years, he might decide he’s a hardcore atheist. Or maybe he’ll join the Hare Krishnas. Or become a Mormon. At the end of the day, that’s his call to make, and he shouldn't be judged or ridiculed by his own parent for it.

Religion is one of those things where parents instinctively feel the need to force their views onto their kids. Whatever they happen to believe, they want their children on the same page.

In my opinion, a parent who truly wants to support their child's growth as an individual should hold back. You have to give them the breathing room to think for themselves and make their own decisions. You have to respect their path—whatever that ends up being.

Are we talking about an 8-year-old or a 16-year-old here?

For an 8-year-old:
I want her to still believe in Santa Claus (rather than having some teacher at Sunday school tell her he isn't real while simultaneously insisting that God is).

I want her sense of pride and joy when she succeeds—that genuine spark of wanting to learn something new—to come from herself, rather than her feeling like she needs to thank God for her achievements.
I want her to recognize her own abilities and develop true internal motivation, instead of relying on external religious reinforcement.

When she messes up, I want her to focus on fixing the damage—cleaning up, gluing something back together, or just apologizing and trying a different way—instead of praying for forgiveness for "sins" and living in fear of punishment or performing penance. I want her to know it's okay to make mistakes; it's part of being human. She shouldn't have to fear them or hide them out of shame. I want her to understand that saying "sorry" isn't enough; you actually have to change your behavior. I want her driven by her own heart, not by outside pressure.

I want her to follow rules and social norms because they make life safe and pleasant for everyone right here on Earth, not because she's terrified of hell.

I don't want her growing up with fear, intimidation, guilt, or a sense of helplessness against imaginary things, or participating in rituals that, at that age, mean something very different to a child than they do to an adult.

As for how people view women, children, the LGBTQ+ community, or followers of other faiths—all those traditional stances often tied to religious doctrine—I don't think that's a place for my child.
I want to be the one to help shape those values in her, and then let her question them later on, once she's old enough to critically evaluate how she was raised. She should be able to do that without worrying about burning in hell or feeling like she needs to go to confession just because she disagrees with me or struggles with a commandment.

And honestly? I won't roll my eyes if she decides to say a prayer before bed when she's 16.
But with her being only 8, I don't want to be put in a position where I'm forced to roll my eyes at behavior that I simply don't think is right for her.🤷
I didn't enroll her in religious education, so I don't really run into these dilemmas myself.

The harder the system tries to brainwash my kid and push religious views on them, the more fiercely I’ll defend our right to think differently. I honestly have no problem standing my ground. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

It isn't about me forcing my opinions on my child; it's about preventing everyone else from doing the exact same thing. As long as textbooks present things as "facts"—like saying "we go to midnight mass for Christmas"—I’m going to make sure my kid understands that isn't how we do things. I won't just shrug and say, "Well, if it's in the textbook, I guess we're going." If it weren't written in those books, I wouldn't even need to bring it up. Or take those moments when they aren't even in religion class but end up sitting through it anyway and come home talking about what happened—of course, I’m going to share my actual thoughts on it. If they weren't stuck in that classroom, there wouldn't be anything to discuss in the first place. And so on.

And yeah, after twenty-five years of being harassed by Catholicism and its values from all sides, if anything, they've succeeded in one thing: triggering an absolute rejection of it all within me. They earned that response...

@rowdypanther12, I totally get where you're coming from, and honestly, your points make a lot of sense.

@nosorog, listening to you, it feels like you’ve got some pretty heavy biases against religion—especially Catholicism (which might just come from a fear of the unknown). Do you seriously believe that people of faith don't feel actual pride in their achievements? Or that they only follow social norms because they're terrified of hell? That they spend their whole lives living in pure dread? I honestly don't even know how to respond to that.

I really don't have the energy to keep this debate going or dive into deep theological rabbit holes. All I'll say is that nothing makes my skin crawl more than a fanatic. As much as the sight of those ultra-conservative religious types reminds me of some of the most stuffy folks you'll find in the Midwest, I can't stand militant atheists either. You know the type—the ones who act like they hold the monopoly on TRUTH and treat every believer like some clueless idiot playing with magic tricks.😁

So, look, I’m raising my kid with a strictly atheist mindset. Honestly? I think I’d be pretty crushed if, after everything we've talked about and all the facts she's been given, she suddenly decided there was some higher power out there watching us. Call me a hardline non-believer if you want—I really don't care what anyone says.

My whole approach is teaching her to respect what other people believe, because that's just being a decent human being. But when it comes to forming her own worldview? It's all about science, common sense, and actual logic. And I've made it very clear: she shouldn't let anyone push their nonsense onto her.

Honestly, I always get a little chuckle out of watching people act like their specific religion is somehow superior, more profound, or inherently "smarter" than everyone else's. It’s such a strange ego trip. I actually ended up being accused of hate speech once just because I pointed out that the idea of sprinkling holy water feels about as logically sound as spraying chicken blood around a Santeria altar.

And look, let’s be real—all these different faiths carry the exact same weight in my book. I don't see a single logical reason why Catholicism should be considered any more enlightened or valuable than any other belief system out there. Whether someone sees that as narrow-mindedness or just pure consistency really depends on how you look at it, but either way, I’m certainly not letting anyone force a belief system on me. Though, if I'm being honest, it feels like the Catholic one is the only one constantly being shoved down my throat in daily life... ☕

Jason Ortiz5 said:So, look, I’m raising my kid with a strictly atheist mindset. Honestly? I think I’d be pretty crushed if, after everything we've talked about and all the facts she's been given, she suddenly decided there was some higher power out there watching us. Call me a hardline non-believer if you want—I really don't care what anyone says.

My whole approach is teaching her to respect what other people believe, because that's just being a decent human being. But when it comes to forming her own worldview? It's all about science, common sense, and actual logic. And I've made it very clear: she shouldn't let anyone push their nonsense onto her.

Not even you, if she decides one day to become a Wiccan, a Buddhist, or a Catholic.😁