Nosy banks

wiredlynx28 said:Essentially, it’s a customer that the Bank deems eligible based on their steady cash flow or total deposits.

The Federal Reserve actually provides a calculator where you can check if you qualify for that status here:

Keep in mind, though—this specific bank sets the bar much lower than most others when it comes to the actual dollar amounts required.

Got it. Thanks.
I'm assuming if the deposit is massive enough, those monthly account inflows could basically be zero?

Terry Edwards6 said:Honestly, banks are starting to feel pretty pointless. I mean, if you strip away loans, what’s left? It feels like they exist just to watch my every move. With the way things work now, I just want to get my paycheck, pay my bills, and spend my cash without some corporate entity breathing down my neck or tracking my every little habit. Plus, there's always that nagging worry about those shady legal seizures or frozen accounts where suddenly all your money is locked up, leaving you scrambling to figure out how you're even going to eat.

Of course they’re interchangeable. That’s exactly why they live in constant terror of a bank run.

They basically lobbied their way into making sure all income flows through them, whereas in a place like Austria, you can pretty much tell them to get lost and just deal in cash.😁

Laura Chavez93 said:I was at JPMorgan Chase earlier today, clearing out nearly everything from my account—so if they feel the need to freeze anything, let it be the measly hundred dollars or so left sitting there... The teller had this sudden urge to update my personal information while I was mid-transaction 🤣 though I told her I'd take care of it some other time ☕
The atmosphere at the counters around me felt less like a bank and more like a police interrogation: one woman was grilling a guy about whether he held any other citizenships or what exactly he needed the account for... honestly, it was absurd 🙂

👍

Nathan Morris3 said:So, a buddy of mine was venting to me today. He wants to move 20,000 United States Dollars from JPMorgan Chase to an account at another American bank, and the bank tells him: "Sure, but it'll cost you 100 United States Dollars ($250)." Yeah, you read that right. The bank wants 100 United States Dollars just for a computer transaction. My friend lives abroad, so he's used to that being free, and he was livid... after about 30 minutes, he calmed down and said, fine, I'm not giving them that out of spite, I'll just withdraw the cash and hand-deliver it to the other bank. Then he calls them back, and they tell him: "Oh, hey, if you want to withdraw more than 5,000 United States Dollars, you have to give us two days' notice by noon."
I don't even know who's crazier here—my friend, who thinks walking around town with all that cash is a good idea (maybe he'll get reported or robbed?), or the bank, charging that much for a digital transfer and making it such a headache just to access your own money. In the end, we'll have people in the 21st century counting bills at a teller window like it's a Western movie, hoping they don't get jumped. And the guy just wants his money: either pay 100 United States Dollars or stuff his pockets. It's gross.

Once cash disappears and everything is digital, we'll be totally at the mercy of bank fees. Actually, I guess we already are.
Anyway, is a 0.5% fee for a transaction within the US (in United States Dollars) actually normal?

Wait, Addiko?? I'm looking at their website right now and they’ve got some weird Masonic triangle on there🤮 Isn't that just Hypo Bank? Just call a spade a spade.

Michael Morgan5 said:Got it. Thanks.
I'm assuming if the deposit is massive enough, those monthly account inflows could basically be zero?

The Bank definitely makes a killing off you. Like, if you park your savings there (looks like maybe 0.65% on the Euro) and they lend that cash out as credit (probably at 4%+), they end up making about 125 Euro a month after paying for reserves, insurance, etc. It ends up being a super expensive account fee for them to cover, and I haven't even factored in the multiplier yet (I'm sure you know how these banks operate).
They make even more through asset management because they charge insane fees for custody and advisory services, since there's basically zero risk for them.
That's probably why they ask all those specific questions. Based on their calculator, it looks like you just need monthly income over $3.00 (likely net) to get your own premium banker. I have to admit, I don't really get their math—if you just take your paycheck and immediately move it to an outside investment, I don't see how they profit. But then again, what would you even need a private banker for in that case? A manager?

I think we drifted a bit off-topic here, but I guess as long as everyone stays polite, it shouldn't matter.

wiredlynx28 said:Essentially, it’s a customer that the Bank deems eligible based on their steady cash flow or total deposits.

The Federal Reserve actually provides a calculator where you can check if you qualify for that status here:

Keep in mind, though—this specific bank sets the bar much lower than most others when it comes to the actual dollar amounts required.

Look, I already told you... they’re just retirees.

To return to the matter at hand ☕ I headed over to the USPS today to open a checking account,
without any of those tedious questions regarding state regulations, money laundering, or terrorism... I have quite a bit to say about Laura Chavez93—that absolute fool from JPMorgan Chase who seems to think it’s his job to label anyone holding an account there as a criminal 🙂
ever since they started harassing people with those Swiss franc loans, they've become incredibly arrogant; frankly, the only way to handle them is to give them a taste of their own medicine

Nathan Morris3 said:What do you mean "worst option"? He just sent it straight to a Bank in Austria—it costs the same (100 Euro) as sending it to some other local bank here. They're just ripping people off, honestly. I guess Hypo used to have some of the best deposit rates, but then right before terms expire, they hike up the fees, and you're just stuck as a client. Your only choice, maybe, is to take the risk and give them three days' notice for a cash withdrawal. You tell them how much cash you're grabbing, which day, and which branch, and then just hope nobody in the chain tips off someone looking to snatch your money.

His banker told him there weren't any cheaper options available. I guess... what were you thinking?

I can't quite recall his specific goal, but transferring funds in a foreign currency is easily the most expensive route—especially when moving money between different institutions. If you're moving $15 million from a Chase account over to a Wells Fargo account, you're going to get hit with $0.67 in fees. But if you're just moving that same $15 million from your personal Wells Fargo account to your business account at Wells Fargo, you'll be paying $0.00 in fees.

Nathan Morris3 said:The Bank definitely makes a killing off you. Like, if you park your savings there (looks like maybe 0.65% on the Euro) and they lend that cash out as credit (probably at 4%+), they end up making about 125 Euro a month after paying for reserves, insurance, etc. It ends up being a super expensive account fee for them to cover, and I haven't even factored in the multiplier yet (I'm sure you know how these banks operate).
They make even more through asset management because they charge insane fees for custody and advisory services, since there's basically zero risk for them.
That's probably why they ask all those specific questions. Based on their calculator, it looks like you just need monthly income over $3.00 (likely net) to get your own premium banker. I have to admit, I don't really get their math—if you just take your paycheck and immediately move it to an outside investment, I don't see how they profit. But then again, what would you even need a private banker for in that case? A manager?

I think we drifted a bit off-topic here, but I guess as long as everyone stays polite, it shouldn't matter.

The assumption is that these types of clients won't move their salary out of the bank, because if they did, there would be no point in being a VIP client—it would be smarter to just stick with a basic checking account.
Premium packages usually bundle in extra perks; things like a Platinum credit card, overdraft protection, enhanced online banking, and so on. If you aren't using those features, paying a single fee for the whole bundle is just bad math.
The Federal Reserve has slightly lower thresholds for what qualifies as a VIP client. At banks like Chase or Bank of America, you might need a $20k net salary, whereas a boutique firm like Goldman Sachs might offer a premium tier regardless of your specific paycheck.

Laura Chavez93 said:To return to the matter at hand ☕ I headed over to the USPS today to open a checking account,
without any of those tedious questions regarding state regulations, money laundering, or terrorism... I have quite a bit to say about Laura Chavez93—that absolute fool from JPMorgan Chase who seems to think it’s his job to label anyone holding an account there as a criminal 🙂
ever since they started harassing people with those Swiss franc loans, they've become incredibly arrogant; frankly, the only way to handle them is to give them a taste of their own medicine

Did you open a checking or a savings account?

Because, if I remember correctly, savings accounts are basically an open book for the IRS (and everyone else), whereas checking accounts aren't quite as transparent.

And just like that, since the start of the year, checking accounts are wide open for the IRS to peek at. Great.

(via Reddit)

placidmaker6 said:And just like that, since the start of the year, checking accounts are wide open for the IRS to peek at. Great.

(via Reddit)

It’s not just checking or savings, either. They can see pretty much every single account out there. The only loophole left is anything opened over in Canada.☕

swiftridge72 said:Did you open a checking or a savings account?

Because, if I remember correctly, savings accounts are basically an open book for the IRS (and everyone else), whereas checking accounts aren't quite as transparent.

First the checking account—then the savings... though, as of today, I've actually closed out everything I held at JPMorgan Chase.🙂

wiredlynx28 said:Exactly. Banking services abroad are incredibly expensive.
For instance, in Italy (using Intesa Sanpaolo), if you want to pay a standard bill at the counter, you're looking at a minimum fee of $9 plus the actual cost of the transaction. In other countries, it's even higher, just like almost every other service. They even charge you a fee just to have your paycheck deposited into your account.

Well... sure, walking into a branch is expensive, but everything online is free. The only thing I actually pay for is my Mastercard annual fee—about $15 a year—and Maestro is basically free too. Everything else? Zero. Paying bills through online banking (which is also free), withdrawing cash from any ATM in the States or other Eurozone countries, transfers within the EU/Nordic Council, "account maintenance" fees—all free.

But yeah, if you show up at a physical branch with a bag of cash or a stack of paper bills, they'll absolutely skin you alive.🙂

Nathan Morris3 said:Why did you say "non-SEPA transaction"? I mean, the US is part of SEPA, right? You're just moving Euros from one country to another, so I guess that counts as a SEPA transaction. That’s probably why those folks in Austria look for such low fees, but American banks just charge way more—like double. And like I mentioned before, Addiko says it doesn't matter if you're sending to the US or somewhere else in the European Union. I suppose the whole point of SEPA is that costs should be the same across the entire zone. Or maybe I'm misunderstanding something?

Well, it's because when I'm collecting prepayments for vacation rentals, I always make sure the guest covers every single transaction fee. And the thing is, these specific transfers don't actually meet the requirements to be classified as a SEPA transaction—which makes them way more expensive. Just because the US is part of the system doesn't really change much if the currency we're dealing with isn't the Euro.

vividranger8 said:Well, it's because when I'm collecting prepayments for vacation rentals, I always make sure the guest covers every single transaction fee. And the thing is, these specific transfers don't actually meet the requirements to be classified as a SEPA transaction—which makes them way more expensive. Just because the US is part of the system doesn't really change much if the currency we're dealing with isn't the Euro.

Chase will charge a €1 fee for any transfer coming from the European Union, regardless of whether it meets SEPA criteria or not. The only real difference is that SEPA hits your account faster—usually the same day or the next—whereas non-SEPA transfers in a different currency take longer to clear through the system.

driftingmoose57 said:It’s just not right, even when you're dealing with United States Dollars. I get transfers hitting my foreign account from places like Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, or Italy, and they send me all the payment confirmations. Every single one of those USD transactions hitting my account shows up as 0 (zero) United States Dollars. Only my bank gets to skim some cash off the top in United States Dollars. It all comes down to the banks and whether the countries they operate in let them run wild or actually keep them on a leash—just look at how things work elsewhere.
Around here, it’s basically a free-for-all for the banks. They just bleed their clients dry while dodging every question you throw at them.

The Czechs feel the exact same way—they think their banks are straight-up robbing people with these ridiculous fees. That’s actually why they set up www.bankovnipoplatky.com back in 2005. On that site, people even vote on what the most absurd banking fee of the year is. http://bit.ly/2mFZlEz

Our banks have such bizarre fee structures. We recently had to send a payment in a foreign currency via SWIFT—it was outside the US and didn't use an IBAN—and after cross-referencing the fee schedules of about ten different major banks like JPMorgan Chase, we figured that using an EZAB transfer would be our cheapest bet. However, once we actually tried to process it, we ran into some hiccups regarding the recipient's account format. That’s when support stepped in and let us know there was actually a third payment method available that wasn't even listed in the standard fee tables! It turned out to be about half the price of the EZAB option. The best part? They handled the entire transaction on their end instead of us having to do the legwork. It all felt a bit strange and disorganized, honestly. (In the end, it cost us about $5.50, whereas the cheapest fee I could find for that amount was $50)

I honestly wonder why banks in the US even bother with risky lending at all—it seems way easier to just live off fees 😁

vividranger8 said:Well, it's because when I'm collecting prepayments for vacation rentals, I always make sure the guest covers every single transaction fee. And the thing is, these specific transfers don't actually meet the requirements to be classified as a SEPA transaction—which makes them way more expensive. Just because the US is part of the system doesn't really change much if the currency we're dealing with isn't the Euro.

Yeah, but the thing is, Deutsche Bank doesn't make a dime on a SEPA transfer, yet our banks still find ways to squeeze us on amounts under $100—kind of like what happened to my friend. It seems to happen regardless of which way the money is moving. Poor American banks, I guess.

George Lewis9 said:Chase will charge a €1 fee for any transfer coming from the European Union, regardless of whether it meets SEPA criteria or not. The only real difference is that SEPA hits your account faster—usually the same day or the next—whereas non-SEPA transfers in a different currency take longer to clear through the system.

Man, if that's actually how it works, then that's awesome!

Laura Chavez93 said:To return to the matter at hand ☕ I headed over to the USPS today to open a checking account,
without any of those tedious questions regarding state regulations, money laundering, or terrorism... I have quite a bit to say about Laura Chavez93—that absolute fool from JPMorgan Chase who seems to think it’s his job to label anyone holding an account there as a criminal 🙂
ever since they started harassing people with those Swiss franc loans, they've become incredibly arrogant; frankly, the only way to handle them is to give them a taste of their own medicine

You really nailed it with that choice—those guys are absolute pros. 👍

I was scrolling through some news earlier and stumbled onto this piece about the latest fallout from that whole mess involving the big political players—you know, the stuff that always seems to blow up right when things should be settling down. It’s pretty wild how these legal battles just drag on forever, isn't it? Basically, there's this massive headache brewing over certain investigations, and it feels like everyone is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s one of those situations where you start reading one thing and end up questioning everything you thought you knew about how the system actually works here in the States. I guess it’s just part of the landscape now—constant drama, endless hearings, and a whole lot of finger-pointing. It's kind of exhausting, honestly, if you think about it too much. Maybe I'm just being cynical, but it feels like we've been down this road before, only with different faces and the same old predictable outcomes. Anyway, just my two cents while I try to make sense of the chaos.