Friendship and common ground

briskrider20 said:Super, because there are plenty of people older than me who aren't immune to these pathetic daily realities, even if it looks that way to an outsider. And unlike certain people on this forum, I’m certainly not claiming to be perfect. ☕
I'm not naming names.

Well, obviously you aren't perfect—nobody is! Who actually is?

But what really gets to me is when people don't offer feedback to be helpful, but just to act superior and put others down. ☕There's nothing worse than that.

Puny humans 😁

That’s just your typical ego-driven American right there—acting like they're some genius who’s seen it all when they’re actually about as bright as a broken bulb. You hit the nail on the head: they aren't looking for feedback or trying to help, they're just flexing their muscles to try and talk down to you. It's nothing but pure haters and trolls through and through.

ambercrane722 said:What’s your take on people who constantly play down to someone else's level, whether they're dealing with a total pushover or actually someone smarter than them? In the first case, they’re basically just looking for easy prey—someone naive enough to be a perfect target for manipulation, whether it's an employee, a partner, or just some friend they can twist around their finger. But when they run into someone truly sharp and genuine, they pull this fake act where they pretend to be just as smart just to fit in, even though they're totally different underneath. It’s all a game. What kind of people actually click, and why? Is jealousy baked into our DNA? And honestly, how many people are actually real once they strip away all those social masks we wear? Why do we gravitate toward certain people while ignoring others? Do you guys actually respect people who are smarter than you? I was just hearing this story about two high-flying narcissists in the corporate world who were supposed to be best friends, but it was pure poison. One was constantly sabotaging the other, stabbing him in the back, and turning his back the second things got good—he just couldn't stomach the other guy having more success. Can two powerhouse personalities ever actually be true, honest friends, or are they always going to see each other as threats? What is the human psyche actually made of? Are any of us truly equals?

well, sometimes they can and sometimes they can't... it isn't just about being a strong or weak person, it's about how all those other traits mix together, so you get all kinds of different combinations...

if power, success, or big money are involved, then things can get pretty dirty. you really have to look at the specific context, because it usually comes out if the situation makes that friend feel like a "threat" because of their success, rather than just hating on the success itself...

The splits are just terrible. It feels like everyone is retreating into their own little bunkers, isn't it? Honestly, it looks more like running away from the confrontation altogether. And you know how it goes—after some time passes, you look back and realize just how unnecessary and confusing the whole thing actually was.

Later on, people will start making excuses, saying things like, "Oh, I didn't mean to," or "I should have stayed where things were better." Then, that sense of loneliness starts creeping in, and man, it really hurts. When beautiful stories unfold right in front of you, they leave a mark. In that solitude, nostalgia just hits harder, fueling this deep ache to go back to the good old days.

When you’ve got someone acting like a total manipulator, just hunting for people who are easy to sway or basically walking targets... I mean, that isn't even friendship, right? It’s not mutual at all. It feels more like some weird cult dynamic where the weaker person treats the "alpha" like some kind of deity, while the other guy just stomps all over them and calls the shots.
Real friendship happens between people who are actually on the same level. Sure, maybe we don't agree on everything—different hobbies, different politics, whatever—but there has to be some sense of equality there, you know?
I have friends with lower self-esteem, sure, and others who are way more confident. Some are chatterboxes and some are super shy, but I wouldn't say any of them feel worlds apart from me. It’s never been one of those situations where someone thinks, "Wow, this person is so perfect, I'm basically trash in comparison," or vice versa. It's not like I'm hanging out with someone who just showers me with constant compliments or acts like my little servant carrying my bags everywhere...😁Honestly, where are you even going to find people like that in the real world?!
But hey, I guess I get it. People might be more likely to strike up a conversation or ask for directions from someone who looks harmless or approachable rather than someone who carries themselves like they own the entire universe. Like, you'd probably be way more comfortable asking a regular girl on the sidewalk for help than some high-fashion model strutting down Fifth Avenue looking like she's untouchable... I don't know... and maybe someone who's just like that person would be the one to actually reach out to them.🤷

ambercrane722 said:That’s just your typical ego-driven American right there—acting like they're some genius who’s seen it all when they’re actually about as bright as a broken bulb. You hit the nail on the head: they aren't looking for feedback or trying to help, they're just flexing their muscles to try and talk down to you. It's nothing but pure haters and trolls through and through.

I second that. Spot-on description. 👍

I’ve spent years overthinking what friendship actually means. I used to idealize the whole thing, but after watching people drift in and out of my life—some staying forever while others just vanish—I've learned one big lesson: stop looking at everything else and just focus on reliability. If someone shows up when they say they will, they’re a real friend. Everything else is just noise.

Look, I'm not telling you this as a friend.