What's your "why"?

I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

Look, I’ve got this pretty strong survival instinct kicking in, honestly. I wouldn't even consider ending it all unless I was facing some incurable, agonizing illness where there's just zero point in dragging things out. For me, life is really about those little wins—the small pleasures, hanging out with people I actually care about, learning stuff, and watching how fast tech is moving. Seriously, the sheer pace of scientific breakthroughs and what's coming next in technology? It's absolutely fascinating to me. I usually just find a rabbit hole to dive into and lose myself in it.

I don't really bother chasing these massive, grand life goals because, let's be real, I don't see a "big" future for myself, nor am I interested in the typical white-picket-fence routine—you know, the whole house, marriage, kids, work, repeat cycle. I literally just take it one day at a time. Sometimes something totally wild happens in a single day that gives me enough fuel to power through to the next. I'm not out here forcing myself to find some profound "meaning of life"; I think by letting go of that pressure, I've saved myself a massive amount of stress. I'm just cruising.

I have these bigger ambitions, but in this reality, they don't seem to carry any weight at all. I find myself desperately grasping for a reason to face each new day... and honestly, I just can't find one. I wish I could just take it easy and go with the flow, but I'm constantly suffocating under this immense pressure that's nearly impossible to shake off. I truly cannot wrap my head around the idea of just living day by day without being able to see the larger purpose behind my own existence.

I am a believer in reincarnation and the spiritual evolution of the soul through various lifetimes. It is my view that we select our own lives and the specific lessons we are destined to face. If life were a constant stream of ease, there would be no growth, no progress. I cannot speak to the source of your current agony, but one should view such hardship as a challenge—an opportunity for advancement. That is my perspective, at least. Suicide is the ultimate error in judgment; it solves nothing. In fact, you simply carry the burden forward into the next life, where the difficulty may even intensify. One must remember: NO ONE IS ASSIGNED A BURDEN GREATER THAN THEY ARE CAPABLE OF ENDURING.
My intention is not to impose my convictions upon anyone; however, perhaps a shift in perspective might be useful.

If this whole concept regarding spiritual evolution and reincarnation is actually true—and honestly, there’s a good chance it is—then we have to face a massive question. If we’re supposedly the ones choosing our own path and guiding our own development, shouldn't we also have the right to pull the plug? Because if we don't, then it feels less like self-determination and more like some unknown force is just pulling the strings on us behind the scenes.

Look, I’m a firm believer in the whole soul development and reincarnation thing. To me, life is basically just one massive, ongoing masterclass. You can technically try to drop out whenever you feel like it—if you really, truly want to quit—but without that "diploma," you aren't going anywhere. You’ll still have to face the music eventually; you can't dodge the curriculum forever. Honestly? It’s better to just stay in the game, see how things play out, and maybe actually pass the course.

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

I’m not gonna sit here and try to comfort you... you probably already know the deal—that humans are tiny and insignificant, that our lives don't have some grander purpose, that we’re all basically living in fairy tales and illusions, that we’re just big, replaceable voids, and that we can be pretty damn awful to ourselves and everyone else... you likely already know that... though maybe it would’ve been better if you didn't, so you could actually hold onto something positive, even if it's just some fake sense of faith or something...
Once you realize you can't run away from who you are, then you realize the only thing left to do is just accept it—accept that you've got very little time on your hands, and you might as well try to spend it however you can... Every morning when you wake up, you get to choose... whether you want to wallow, dwell on ending it all, or just head outside, take a walk, do something that actually makes you smile, or even just sit on a park bench and soak up the sun, the nature, the birds, and the world around you... Everything you feel, all the bad stuff and the good stuff, it's really just chemistry in your brain... feelings, sadness, joy—it’s all just tiny bits of hormones in your head... and that's what defines whether you decide to check out or tell yourself thanks for being alive, enjoying things, breathing deep, loving life and loving yourself...
Just accept that those shitty feelings are your choice and nothing more... you aren't taking anything you want from life, you're just letting negative energy hog all your headspace...
I don't know... personally, I find joy in everything—sex, feelings, just existing, experiencing new things, meeting people... I went through a massive depression years ago, and yeah, I still deal with plenty of issues, but I wanted to tell you that you can change everything if you really want to... It’s easy to say "I'll just kill myself and end the struggle"... you can do that whenever you want, right? So just try thinking on the bright side for a second... think about what you'd actually want, what would make you happy, and just go down that path...😉

There’s just no real depth in this shallow world we live in 😵... mostly just hedonists drifting along, people who aren't looking for any deep emotional connection or sense of purpose. The most carefree ones are the pure hedonists—just living for good food, drinks, sex, card games, and backyard BBQs with friends 😉.. look, I’m not saying you shouldn't enjoy that stuff, but honestly, the people who don't need anything beyond those basic pleasures are probably the healthiest souls out there. This life was basically built for them. But... that doesn't mean you can't build your own little universe and find joy in the small things... you have to, if you don't want to end up miserable. Life can be beautiful, it can be brutal, sad, tragic... whatever. It depends on luck, your character, your sensitivity and all that... unfortunately, there isn't much depth in relationships anymore, so when it comes to happiness, you're pretty much on your own. You have to build it inside your own head... watching all these mental struggles becoming so common lately, just being mentally sound feels like a luxury. Maybe you haven't thought about it and maybe it sounds cliché, but just being healthy, being able to run and do everything a healthy person can... that's a massive gift. Get your head right so you don't break from it all. Everything else follows from there.

The meaning of existence... please. Even if there is one (which I highly doubt), why should we even care?
Why do I exist? Why are there another 8 billion people roaming this planet? Where are we headed? And why are we moving in this specific direction? 😬 Who exactly set us on this path... honestly, it’s all just exhausting and hollow.
Who cares, really? Why does everything need to have some grand purpose or deep significance?
I’ll leave those kinds of existential crises to the academic philosophers or the high schoolers. For the rest of us, you just need to get moving and do something primarily for yourself—provided, of course, that you aren't stepping on anyone else's toes in the process. And if you really want to go hunting for "meaning"... well, after pulling a nine-hour shift at work, you aren't exactly in the mood to search for some massive, cosmic life purpose when you walk through your front door. 😁
In my book, the whole point of it all is for me and the people I care about to be happy and content. That seems like a perfectly valid 🙂 reason to live. If everyone actually lived by that, maybe we wouldn't see so much conflict and nonsense breaking out all over the country. 😢

First off, you’re here for a reason. You were chosen to handle a specific mission—maybe it’s clearing out some old karmic debts from a past life, or maybe your soul just needs the mileage. Either way, this life is a stepping stone to the next level, a cleaner slate, provided you don't go making a mess of things right now.

Second, think about the math: if you take your own life, your soul and your physical self basically have to hit the reset button. You’re back at square one, forced to run the exact same gauntlet all over again. It’s a bad deal. Why restart when you’ve already put in the work and reached the halfway point? 😉

That’s my theory, plain and simple. We’re here to fight the good fight and build something better.

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve had those thoughts too. Why? Because I was stuck in an environment where I wasn't respected, surrounded by people who constantly belittled and undervalued me. When you're dealing with people who are that negative and filled with baseless hatred toward you—people who pressure you and refuse to let you be who you actually are because they'd rather you be a reflection of their own desires—it makes you want to just snap. The most important thing is setting goals that fulfill you personally, not others, and making sure they're actually within your reach. Surround yourself with people who respect you for being yourself, and stay far away from those who won't respect you for what you aren't. In the end, just find joy in the small things; bit by bit, something bigger will eventually show up. You know how it goes—one brick at a time builds the house.👍

I can’t help but wonder what the world will actually look like down the road. Wouldn't it be incredible to witness some true wonders of nature?
I used to think about rescuing a stray dog or cat, but lately, I just feel... overwhelmed.

I was reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead recently, and according to those teachings, you really have to prepare yourself for death if you don't want to end up stuck in yet another random human body.
It seems every ancient culture placed such immense importance on the soul's journey.

Personally, I’ve found some sense of peace in philosophy and the works of mystic poets, but still...

northernsailor102 said:I have these bigger ambitions, but in this reality, they don't seem to carry any weight at all. I find myself desperately grasping for a reason to face each new day... and honestly, I just can't find one. I wish I could just take it easy and go with the flow, but I'm constantly suffocating under this immense pressure that's nearly impossible to shake off. I truly cannot wrap my head around the idea of just living day by day without being able to see the larger purpose behind my own existence.

What kind of lofty goals are we talking about here?

You’re welcome to send me a private message if you'd prefer to discuss this privately.

I am also finding it increasingly difficult to find a compelling reason to stay, though I am still present in this physical "vessel" for the time being.

Everyone holds their own beliefs... some swear by reincarnation, others think we only get one shot at this life, but nobody truly knows the ultimate truth. All I know is that we’re all here for a reason. Personally, I feel like the soul has to work through certain lessons to truly evolve. You’re still young, and you're clearly in that searching phase—which is never an easy road to walk. You definitely have a purpose; you just need to look a little deeper within yourself. If there weren't a purpose, you wouldn't even be here (maybe your mom would've just had a surprise pregnancy, who knows)... I see life as a massive gift. You mentioned that if a soul chooses its path before birth, it should have the right to end it. But I don't believe there's a right to end it. We're born with a total amnesia regarding any pacts our souls made with a Higher Power, and we didn't just pick this path at random; there's always a reason. No matter how painful the journey gets, it's part of us and we have to see it through. Suicide doesn't solve anything... it just brings you back to zero. I've navigated my own share of crises, but eventually, I realized everything happens for a reason. I've made mistakes and stumbled too, but I always found a way to stand back up... sometimes on my own, sometimes with help from others. You haven't quite shared what you're struggling with—is it family, a relationship, work, or just an internal battle? What used to bring you joy?

Not sure what better advice I could give you than this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i_4QUu440c 🙂

Honestly, props to everyone here for these posts. If this doesn't blow up, I don't know what will. I’m genuinely glad I stumbled onto this thread—first time using the mobile app, still figuring out how everything works, and I just happened to see this topic.
Thanks, seriously. You guys clearly get that most people don't bother carving out time for others, especially strangers. Just by writing this stuff, you've laid out all the reasons why people actually need to be around—and that’s exactly what you guys are, just good people.

Edit: if anyone can help me out with a question, please hit me up. DM me or whatever.

About five months ago, my brother and his girlfriend were killed in a car accident. They died right there on the scene. 😢
It’s the kind of thing that just changes your entire life forever.
But hey, I shouldn't make this about me. I really shouldn't. There’s his brother, two sisters, and his parents. They’re an incredibly tight-knit, honest, and humble family—really close. He was the only one who stayed local; the girls got married and the older brother moved away, but they always made sure to come home often.
He was only 24. My aunt hasn't stopped crying since he was seven months old, and honestly, looks like she won't stop anytime soon. 😢His brother is struggling hard, his sisters too, and I don't even want to talk about the youngest sibling... seeing them go through this is gut-wrenching, and I feel totally helpless because there's nothing I can do to fix it.
My question is, what did they ever do to deserve this much pain? Why does someone like my brother—truly the most decent, amazing person I've ever known—get taken out like this? Sorry for the long vent, I just really need to understand why someone experiences such a brutal tragedy.

On one hand, I guess the whole point of being alive is just... experiencing things. You know? The highs, the lows, the gut-wrenching fear, the pure bliss, the absolute misery—all of it. It’s all part of the ride.

But then, looking at it from another angle—maybe this world actually *needs* people like you. Like, who else is going to step up if it isn't the individuals who look at all the cruelty, the manipulation, and the sheer disrespect out there and say, "No way, I can't live with this"? You can't just sit there and accept it, so you start building something better, trying to leave a positive mark on the world around you.

Michelle Barnes said:Honestly, props to everyone here for these posts. If this doesn't blow up, I don't know what will. I’m genuinely glad I stumbled onto this thread—first time using the mobile app, still figuring out how everything works, and I just happened to see this topic.
Thanks, seriously. You guys clearly get that most people don't bother carving out time for others, especially strangers. Just by writing this stuff, you've laid out all the reasons why people actually need to be around—and that’s exactly what you guys are, just good people.

Edit: if anyone can help me out with a question, please hit me up. DM me or whatever.

About five months ago, my brother and his girlfriend were killed in a car accident. They died right there on the scene. 😢
It’s the kind of thing that just changes your entire life forever.
But hey, I shouldn't make this about me. I really shouldn't. There’s his brother, two sisters, and his parents. They’re an incredibly tight-knit, honest, and humble family—really close. He was the only one who stayed local; the girls got married and the older brother moved away, but they always made sure to come home often.
He was only 24. My aunt hasn't stopped crying since he was seven months old, and honestly, looks like she won't stop anytime soon. 😢His brother is struggling hard, his sisters too, and I don't even want to talk about the youngest sibling... seeing them go through this is gut-wrenching, and I feel totally helpless because there's nothing I can do to fix it.
My question is, what did they ever do to deserve this much pain? Why does someone like my brother—truly the most decent, amazing person I've ever known—get taken out like this? Sorry for the long vent, I just really need to understand why someone experiences such a brutal tragedy.

Your question really made me think about this video. Give it a watch if you have the headspace for it.

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

Now, this is a really heavy, fascinating topic. Honestly, I find myself asking these exact same questions all the time—it's a daily struggle with myself, really. I see people out there just enjoying life, while I haven't felt genuine joy in quite a while. It's not that I lack things; I've never been much of a materialist, anyway. If I were, maybe I could find some happiness in everything I've managed to build and acquire.
But instead, the days just kind of drift by without any real sense of satisfaction. I'd love for something—even just a tiny little thing—to actually cheer me up, but it just doesn't happen. And I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, since the people in my own life aren't exactly the type you can open up to about stuff like this.
This forum is pretty much the only place where I can let off some steam.
The constant battle and these thoughts of suicide are becoming so exhausting. Antidepressants helped a little, but those dark thoughts keep creeping back more and more often.
I’m just plain tired of everything. There have been so many times where I've thought about just grabbing a backpack and walking away—no plan, no destination, just gone.

I realize I totally missed the mark on this thread—the author was looking for reasons to live, and I didn't exactly provide anything profound. Sorry for the off-topic rant.

northernsailor102 said:I have these bigger ambitions, but in this reality, they don't seem to carry any weight at all. I find myself desperately grasping for a reason to face each new day... and honestly, I just can't find one. I wish I could just take it easy and go with the flow, but I'm constantly suffocating under this immense pressure that's nearly impossible to shake off. I truly cannot wrap my head around the idea of just living day by day without being able to see the larger purpose behind my own existence.

Let go of the heights. Return to the ground. Ground yourself. Zero field. Stop reaching upward. STOP.
Do you know why you feel PRESSURE? It’s the pressure of Life; it’s the pressure of the flow. But life isn't pressing down on you—you are feeling pressure because of a MISALIGNMENT with life. That is what you experience as pressure.
Align yourself with the flow of things. Accept. Don't reach for anything. Just be where you are. Don't create an massive burden for yourself when you haven't even lifted the small one yet.

You say you have higher goals? Fine. That's fine. But ask yourself now: what kind of person—someone possessing those higher goals—must they be in terms of their character and personal growth?

For instance... would inner peace be a characteristic of such a person?
Would such a person be at the mercy of circumstances?
Would they know how to be quiet within themselves?
How would that person view the world? How would they have to view everything that exists?
Does that person love themselves unconditionally, serving as an inspiration to others through their very existence?

Essentially, once you answer what kind of person would need to be to carry the weight of higher life goals, you will see the gap between that person and yourself. That gap is what causes your "tension."

That distinction, from here to there, is precisely that pressure. It is an internal, psychological illusion of trying to force "here" and "there" together.
But you can't do that.

Stop reaching for the heights. It isn't time yet. Can't you see you're struggling? That is Life telling you: "stop, don't go, stop. Slow down... slow down. Just easy. All great things happen slowly... like nature—it moves slowly, but it accomplishes everything."

The problem is trusting that... how do we trust a process we aren't even sure follows that pattern??
It's like this.
Look at where you are now, and look at where you were. Can you honestly say you haven't matured, realized, understood, survived, experienced, and learned things you weren't even aware of before?
That is exactly it. That is life—life moves, and you move with it. That is being supported by life. Even in moments when you didn't feel it, you pulled through, because life supports you so much that you have the freedom to believe whatever you want, yet you will still be SUPPORTED—because you are an INTEGRATED part of Life. You exist, and only life can exist; life is life itself, and it supports EXISTENCE. It supports you.

So, take it easy. Go slow. There is no rush... you have all of eternity. Masters know they have eternity, and from that security, they move slowly.

For me, art is quite literally my reason for breathing. I’ve come to realize that this earthly existence is fleeting—just a blink in the grand scheme of things—so I find myself driven by this relentless, almost irrational urge to leave some kind of lasting mark on the world. I can't quite put my finger on why, but there's this constant, nagging need to evolve and build something that actually matters.
Now, look, life doesn't hand out participation trophies, and sometimes you just hit a wall where the future looks completely blank. That isn't being delusional; it's just the cold, hard reality of being human, and honestly, it's okay to admit that. It’s also perfectly fine—in fact, necessary—to cling to whatever scrap of motivation you can find when everything else seems to be falling apart. You have to try and recall those bright spots, those moments of triumph, and remind yourself what might be possible if we just grit our teeth and push through the current mess. If you truly can't see a way forward, then you're essentially stuck, and frankly, I don't think I could endure that kind of mental agony myself, though I would suggest taking a moment to wonder if everything really is as bleak or as gray as it feels right now.
Try to weigh the scales between the good and the bad in your life. Do you honestly believe it's worth tossing aside the entire life you've spent years painstakingly constructing and pouring your soul into? Are you really going to just succumb to the brutal laws of natural selection and throw in the towel? Personally, I wouldn't dream of it, even though I've been in those dark places myself and I fully understand how incredibly hollow and irritating "motivational" comments can feel when you're in the thick of it, but since you're here, at least give it a little thought.