Fear of solo traveling

I’m planning to take a trip soon to visit a friend. It’s about a four-hour drive, and to be honest, I am absolutely terrified.😲 The issue is that I’ve never really been independent; I’ve never had to take full responsibility for myself before. I’m 22, currently unemployed, and living at home with my family. By nature, I’m a chronic worrier, and whenever I have to step outside my comfort zone, I get overwhelmed by anxiety and try to avoid it for as long as possible. Whenever I feel nervous, scared, or anxious, it immediately hits my digestive system. Back in high school, before big exams, I used to take two or three Linus Torvalds tablets before heading out just so I wouldn't deal with any discomfort. As soon as fear takes over, I can feel my stomach churning, and I end up needing to run to the restroom multiple times before an event even begins. That cycle just feeds into more panic. I feel like I can't even trust my own body... I'm already playing out worst-case scenarios in my head—being on a bus for a long stretch and then suddenly feeling like I desperately need a restroom within thirty minutes of leaving.😲
I did have to travel alone recently for about half an hour. I hadn't slept well the night before, of course, but that trip went smoothly. I didn't have any issues and felt completely relaxed. But thirty minutes and four hours are two very different things.

I haven't traveled much in my life. Just a few times when I was little, and always with my parents or another family member who made me feel safe. No matter what happened, they were there to help. In a cramped bus without a restroom and no familiar face nearby, I don't have that safety net.

About two years ago, I dealt with severe panic attacks. I couldn't even go to the grocery store by myself during the day. I kept thinking I would pass out somewhere or fall ill, and that no one would be able to help me. That’s when my digestive issues started too. Because of all this, I’ve missed out on so many things... hiking trips, nights out... I even spent New Year's Eve at home while my boyfriend was celebrating in another city with his friends. Everyone was calling me, but I just couldn't go. I was too afraid.
There were times when the urge would just hit me while I was out walking with my boyfriend, and I had no choice but to find a place to go outside.😠
The panic attacks eventually subsided because I started practicing meditation. I wasn't specifically using it to treat the anxiety, but it helped nonetheless. Now, it isn't full-blown panic attacks anymore, but the fear is still there. I just don't know how to get it under control.

Because of these same struggles, I've also passed up career opportunities. It makes me feel terrible.

Part of me wants to cancel the whole trip just to get some peace of mind. But I won't, because running away isn't a solution. I know this is a chance to face my fears, overcome them, and start believing in myself. I need to learn how to let go and actually enjoy life. I haven't left my hometown in a long time, and now I have this wonderful opportunity to do so.

Does anyone else struggle with similar issues? How do you, if you do at all, manage to control your fears?

I should also mention that about two years ago, I saw a psychologist because I was struggling with depression due to my circumstances at the time. Honestly, the sessions didn't help much, so I just learned to live with it. Some days are great, others aren't, but I'm not giving up. My doctor won't refer me to a psychiatrist because she thinks I'm being overly sensitive or dramatic. She hasn't offered much advice on how to handle it, either.

Thanks in advance.

Look, if standard talk therapy isn't cutting it for you, you might want to start digging into some alternative branches of psychology on your own, though I honestly suspect there’s an internal block somewhere in there that you're subconsciously clinging to. You have to realize that a problem that's been weighing on you for years isn't going to just vanish in forty-eight hours. It takes time. Maybe try keeping a journal or something—just make a point to write down the good things that happen each day so you can slowly start rebuilding that sense of self-confidence over time. And regarding that irritable bowel stuff, just go online and look up ways to manage the symptoms when things flare up. There isn't some magic pill, obviously, but there are definitely ways to deal with the psychological triggers behind it.

I found myself nodding along to almost everything you described. The panic attacks, that intense sensitivity, the fear of change, and that overwhelming anxiety about being physically separated from the people who make me feel safe.

Now, I’m certainly no therapist, but what truly worked for me was simply diving in—literally jumping into situations without overthinking them and just grit my teeth through it. You’ll find that most things aren't half as terrifying as they seem when they're swirling around in your head. Plus, there's this incredible bonus: once you survive a crisis like that, you get this surge of confidence that makes you much more willing to tackle similar challenges down the road. Honestly, is there anything more rewarding than conquering your own fears and proving that little voice in your head wrong? Once you take a massive leap like traveling solo, you'll find yourself feeling braver in other areas too. This approach might not fix the underlying cause of the panic, but it definitely gives you the tools to handle life a lot more effectively.

I realize it’s easy to say, but actually doing the thing you're terrified of is a completely different story. From my own experience, I know what it's like to turn pale, shake uncontrollably, and feel like I can't catch my breath—yet, I do it anyway. Over time, those symptoms start to fade, leaving me ready to embrace things like traveling, interviewing for a job, or any other milestone that comes with independence.

So, it really just comes down to practice, practice, and more practice! 🙂

Just like Michael Hernandez26 said: it’s all about practice and action. Lean into the fear. Step into that uncomfortable zone. Open up... let it happen. Just let it be. Life happens outside your comfort zone. Literally.
Let the fear take hold. That’s the point: be afraid. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just be free to feel it. Absorb the fear... surrender to it. Only then will you discover true invulnerability—once you actually allow yourself to be vulnerable. That’s the power of the paradox living inside you.

Tell yourself: "It's okay. This is just my mind trying to protect me the best way it knows how. I'll offer it peace, comfort, and love. Everything is fine. I understand that to get what I want, I have to give. To feel what I desire, I must first provide it for myself."
If you want to possess what you desire, you must first appreciate what you already have.

Perhaps some music might offer you a bit of solace
headphones on - an MP3 player

It also wouldn't be a bad idea to consult with your doctor about perhaps finding some mild, over-the-counter calming aids or a light prescription

Ultimately, if you can manage to tune out the world a little more, you might find the stress becomes somewhat more manageable

I honestly believe this is nothing more than kicking the can down the road. Eventually, the reality of what’s happening with her is going to crash down on them, and when it does, it’ll be far more devastating than if they had just faced it head-on now and let her get used to the situation.

One often overlooks the fact that the human psyche can only withstand so much before it simply snaps under the weight of unaddressed fear.
And once that breaking point is reached, things go south very quickly.

It is far more prudent to navigate these challenges through a series of incremental steps rather than attempting to shoulder the entire burden at once, only to have one's mental fortitude collapse entirely under the pressure.