#1141 ·
Discipline is something parents instill from day one. It all starts with them, really. They are the first and last line of defense, the ones ultimately responsible... As kids grow up and gradually enter various systems—preschool, public schools, guidance counselors, and so on—those institutions are supposed to build upon the foundation laid at home. They offer guidelines, suggestions, perhaps a bit of extra structure. But they can’t actually raise a child, nor can they attempt to re-educate them when the primary foundation is missing. These institutions participate in socialization and might flag certain issues, but they can't perform miracles, especially not if a parent is actively working to sabotage everything they try to do...
When things start going sideways, we really ought to hand those kids back to their parents to fix. If they want to draw pictures in preschool or elementary school instead of paying attention, let them take the kid back home. If they feel the curriculum isn't "engaging" enough or doesn't meet their specific standards, then fine—they should educate the child themselves, at home, at their own expense, putting in their own sweat equity, their own money, and their own precious time. If it's a particularly severe case and they truly can't handle it, there are specialized clinics and medical institutions that can step in. In most cases, though, none of that would even be necessary, because the bulk of the work could be handled by the people living under the same roof, provided they start early and realize that the consequences will eventually fall squarely on their shoulders. But in the way our system is set up here in America, everyone else carries the burden except for the actual parents. So, it goes like this: my kid gets hit with a backpack or a chair because some brat finds throwing things more entertaining than sitting still; then the entire class suffers because they can't listen to the lesson while that kid is busy playing; then there's me, having to leave work to pick up my injured child, taking them to a therapist just to help them cope with being a victim—which is practically the standard protocol in our schools nowadays—and then struggling through lessons on grammar, chemistry, or basic math that were never actually taught because someone else was too busy acting out... or paying for private tutors just to pass. And don't forget the teacher, who, instead of explaining science or math, has to spend their energy trying to manage a kid who’s throwing chalk or getting sent to the principal's office constantly. Then you have the school counselors, who, instead of focusing on students with actual learning disabilities, end up coddling the troublemaker. Not to mention the massive, immeasurable drain on resources from inspectors, state agencies, departments, and various clinics... It's endless. We report things to Child Protective Services, but isn't that what they are for? And what happens if the kid comes from a wealthy, well-to-do family? Sending them to a residential program is great, sure, but why shouldn't the parent have to pay for that unrefined brat's rehabilitation out of their own pocket?
What is the point of reporting uncooperative parents to CPS without any concrete mechanism to actually force them to deal with their own children? There are unfortunately plenty of other pathologies that CPS should be focusing on, rather than opening yet another file for some unruly kid...
When things start going sideways, we really ought to hand those kids back to their parents to fix. If they want to draw pictures in preschool or elementary school instead of paying attention, let them take the kid back home. If they feel the curriculum isn't "engaging" enough or doesn't meet their specific standards, then fine—they should educate the child themselves, at home, at their own expense, putting in their own sweat equity, their own money, and their own precious time. If it's a particularly severe case and they truly can't handle it, there are specialized clinics and medical institutions that can step in. In most cases, though, none of that would even be necessary, because the bulk of the work could be handled by the people living under the same roof, provided they start early and realize that the consequences will eventually fall squarely on their shoulders. But in the way our system is set up here in America, everyone else carries the burden except for the actual parents. So, it goes like this: my kid gets hit with a backpack or a chair because some brat finds throwing things more entertaining than sitting still; then the entire class suffers because they can't listen to the lesson while that kid is busy playing; then there's me, having to leave work to pick up my injured child, taking them to a therapist just to help them cope with being a victim—which is practically the standard protocol in our schools nowadays—and then struggling through lessons on grammar, chemistry, or basic math that were never actually taught because someone else was too busy acting out... or paying for private tutors just to pass. And don't forget the teacher, who, instead of explaining science or math, has to spend their energy trying to manage a kid who’s throwing chalk or getting sent to the principal's office constantly. Then you have the school counselors, who, instead of focusing on students with actual learning disabilities, end up coddling the troublemaker. Not to mention the massive, immeasurable drain on resources from inspectors, state agencies, departments, and various clinics... It's endless. We report things to Child Protective Services, but isn't that what they are for? And what happens if the kid comes from a wealthy, well-to-do family? Sending them to a residential program is great, sure, but why shouldn't the parent have to pay for that unrefined brat's rehabilitation out of their own pocket?
What is the point of reporting uncooperative parents to CPS without any concrete mechanism to actually force them to deal with their own children? There are unfortunately plenty of other pathologies that CPS should be focusing on, rather than opening yet another file for some unruly kid...
