Rude staff at a non-profit – what should I do?

Hey everyone, I’m not totally sure if this is the right spot for this kind of thing, so mods, feel free to move this wherever it fits best. Since this is about volunteering and some honestly pretty nasty behavior from an employee at an organization where I’m trying to help out, I was hoping some of the serious "shrink" types on here could give me some advice on how to handle this—what to do and what to steer clear of. So, look, I decided to volunteer at a local non-profit here in my small town because I’m currently between jobs and have plenty of downtime. Not gonna bore you guys with all the details on why, but one big reason is that I’m planning to go into disability services professionally. Plus, I deal with my own health issues—I've got MS, which is tough, but thank God I'm in remission right now so I'm feeling pretty good. I really thought I’d found the perfect organization to get involved with. But here’s the thing: when I started asking questions—because I wanted to be fully immersed, you know? Not just showing up for an hour or two a week, but actually being there for the workshops and stuff—I got this absolutely shocking response via email. I only stopped by once last week for a quick bit, but ever since I started digging deeper and showing real interest, things have gone south. I’m wondering if this is just how overworked staff act, or if I should just cut my losses and walk away. I really don't want to, though, because I genuinely vibe with the people running the place. If you know what I mean! Please, if anyone has any smart advice, I'm all ears. I can definitely go into more detail about what happened if it helps.

restlessranger54 said:Hey everyone, I’m not totally sure if this is the right spot for this kind of thing, so mods, feel free to move this wherever it fits best. Since this is about volunteering and some honestly pretty nasty behavior from an employee at an organization where I’m trying to help out, I was hoping some of the serious "shrink" types on here could give me some advice on how to handle this—what to do and what to steer clear of. So, look, I decided to volunteer at a local non-profit here in my small town because I’m currently between jobs and have plenty of downtime. Not gonna bore you guys with all the details on why, but one big reason is that I’m planning to go into disability services professionally. Plus, I deal with my own health issues—I've got MS, which is tough, but thank God I'm in remission right now so I'm feeling pretty good. I really thought I’d found the perfect organization to get involved with. But here’s the thing: when I started asking questions—because I wanted to be fully immersed, you know? Not just showing up for an hour or two a week, but actually being there for the workshops and stuff—I got this absolutely shocking response via email. I only stopped by once last week for a quick bit, but ever since I started digging deeper and showing real interest, things have gone south. I’m wondering if this is just how overworked staff act, or if I should just cut my losses and walk away. I really don't want to, though, because I genuinely vibe with the people running the place. If you know what I mean! Please, if anyone has any smart advice, I'm all ears. I can definitely go into more detail about what happened if it helps.

I'm lost. What did you ask them? And what was so shocking about their reply? Plus, how are some "on-call psychologists" supposed to know what's going on in the heads of people working at some random disability advocacy group? Is this behavior—and I mean *this* specific behavior—actually normal? 😕 No, I really don't follow what you're getting at...

I don't get what you're even looking for here... if you want someone to weigh in on something, just tell the story... being this vague doesn't just make it impossible to answer, it makes it impossible to understand what you're even asking about...

Sorry if I'm stumbling over my words here, bear with me.😁
So, here’s the deal. Last week, I swung by this local non-profit for the first time—just for a quick couple of hours. I filled out their intake form and spent some time hanging out with the kids they serve. The director actually told me I picked the perfect time to show up because they’re desperate for a volunteer who can actually show up consistently, since everyone else is working full-time and has zero availability. I was like, awesome, glad I could help.😁 I mentioned to her that this was all brand new to me and asked if she could walk me through what they do and what their general mission is, you know, just to get the lay of the land.🙄 She basically just told me to finish the paperwork—which I did—and then snapped that I had to stick to "the plan," even though nobody had actually explained what that plan even was. The whole vibe felt super unprofessional and rushed.
Then things got weird. I sent an email following up about the workshops happening this week, just checking in since she said we’d touch base. I also asked about their monthly schedule and upcoming activities, because from what I gathered, they were ready to hit the ground running. Total silence. No reply. I figured, okay, maybe she's just swamped and hasn't checked her inbox. So, I gave her a call since she gave me her number, and the woman practically lost it on me. 😲 She just started screaming. Like, seriously? 🤷
I’m just trying to step up and help, and apparently, that's a crime.

Look, you probably just ran into the wrong person here—someone who’s either buried under a mountain of work or just dealing with way too much personal drama right now. Honestly, it's better if you try to hunt down those answers from someone else over at that association instead.

or maybe just give another local non-profit a shot 🤷

Thanks for all the input 🙂
Here’s what’s really eating at me though! If someone actually knows exactly what their goal is, they know who they want to reach, and they have a clear vision of what they want to accomplish... should they just walk away because one employee at an organization is being straight-up rude? Or is it worth sticking it out despite how she treats me?
How would you guys handle a situation like this?
To put it simply, does someone else's reckless and arrogant attitude give you a valid reason to bail on something you're actually passionate about?
I could really use some perspective here—it’d help a ton if people shared what they think about this whole mess I'm dealing with

Personally, I wouldn't walk away from it if my health was holding up fine—but since you mentioned yours is in remission, you’ve gotta be careful. Working closely with people who are struggling can sometimes take a toll; you might start subconsciously absorbing all that heaviness or identifying too much with their pain, and honestly, that kind of stuff can sneak up on you.
Of course, there's no guarantee that actually happens, but it really boils down to where your empathy is coming from. Is it coming from a place of ego or just feeling sorry for people? Or are you able to keep things professional—you know, just looking to make the most of your free time while being genuinely helpful to those in need? At the end of the day, it all just comes down to your own intentions.

restlessranger54 said:Thanks for all the input 🙂
Here’s what’s really eating at me though! If someone actually knows exactly what their goal is, they know who they want to reach, and they have a clear vision of what they want to accomplish... should they just walk away because one employee at an organization is being straight-up rude? Or is it worth sticking it out despite how she treats me?
How would you guys handle a situation like this?
To put it simply, does someone else's reckless and arrogant attitude give you a valid reason to bail on something you're actually passionate about?
I could really use some perspective here—it’d help a ton if people shared what they think about this whole mess I'm dealing with

Some people would stick it out, others wouldn't. At the end of the day, it isn't about them... it's about whether you decide to stay or move on. 🙂

I’m telling you straight up, she basically told me to my face that I’m overstepping my bounds. Said I was asking the wrong questions at the wrong times, and honestly, that she needs to "protect" the members from people like me. 😲 😲

My folks back home were reading through the emails and they were just floored by it. 🤷
To top it all off, now she’s playing games about whether I should even be volunteering at the workshops anymore. Apparently, I’m just "too curious" and my questions don't fit the vibe of how the non-profit operates. Does anyone know who I can actually complain to about someone acting this unprofessional? Is that even a thing you can do?

I’ve been digging through some legal sites regarding volunteer rights, and it’s pretty clear—they aren't allowed to gatekeep information from me. It's literally the organization's job to keep members in the loop when they ask.
Am I totally off base here? I honestly don't know what to think, or how I'm supposed to act if they actually reach out and ask for my help again. 😢

It’s entirely possible that someone on the payroll sees dedicated volunteers as a direct threat to their own job security.

Or maybe she's just dealing with some hormonal mood swings—or perhaps she just didn't get any sleep because of the kid last night.🤷

restlessranger54 said:I’m telling you straight up, she basically told me to my face that I’m overstepping my bounds. Said I was asking the wrong questions at the wrong times, and honestly, that she needs to "protect" the members from people like me. 😲 😲

My folks back home were reading through the emails and they were just floored by it. 🤷
To top it all off, now she’s playing games about whether I should even be volunteering at the workshops anymore. Apparently, I’m just "too curious" and my questions don't fit the vibe of how the non-profit operates. Does anyone know who I can actually complain to about someone acting this unprofessional? Is that even a thing you can do?

I’ve been digging through some legal sites regarding volunteer rights, and it’s pretty clear—they aren't allowed to gatekeep information from me. It's literally the organization's job to keep members in the loop when they ask.
Am I totally off base here? I honestly don't know what to think, or how I'm supposed to act if they actually reach out and ask for my help again. 😢

bluemason3 said:It’s entirely possible that someone on the payroll sees dedicated volunteers as a direct threat to their own job security.

Or maybe she's just dealing with some hormonal mood swings—or perhaps she just didn't get any sleep because of the kid last night.🤷

Could be.
Maybe they just have some deep-seated prejudices against people living with MS.
Maybe they’re only sticking around that non-profit because there’s a paycheck involved or some other ulterior motive, when in reality, they probably harbor all sorts of underlying biases against people with disabilities.

Only my immediate family actually knows I’m dealing with MS. I keep it on the down-low from everyone else. 🙏

Not exactly a badge of honor to brag about, you know? ☕

Honestly, I’m just stuck wondering how to handle things next time—assuming it even happens again. Like, if she has another outburst, do I just stay quiet or actually say something?

How do you guys deal with people being straight-up rude? 😠

restlessranger54 said:Thanks for all the input 🙂
Here’s what’s really eating at me though! If someone actually knows exactly what their goal is, they know who they want to reach, and they have a clear vision of what they want to accomplish... should they just walk away because one employee at an organization is being straight-up rude? Or is it worth sticking it out despite how she treats me?
How would you guys handle a situation like this?
To put it simply, does someone else's reckless and arrogant attitude give you a valid reason to bail on something you're actually passionate about?
I could really use some perspective here—it’d help a ton if people shared what they think about this whole mess I'm dealing with

I think you're framing the question all wrong—there isn't some magical "should" here. It’s not about obligation; it’s about whether you know what you want and if you have the stomach to chase it. Every single path has its share of roadblocks—that's just life.

restlessranger54 said:Only my immediate family actually knows I’m dealing with MS. I keep it on the down-low from everyone else. 🙏

Not exactly a badge of honor to brag about, you know? ☕

Honestly, I’m just stuck wondering how to handle things next time—assuming it even happens again. Like, if she has another outburst, do I just stay quiet or actually say something?

How do you guys deal with people being straight-up rude? 😠

Most of the time, I just give them a short answer and move on with my day like nothing happened. Their rudeness is their own baggage, and frankly, I don't see the point in getting into a shouting match or giving any weight to what some jerk thinks.

Just talk to other people involved. If everyone else there acts the same way, then yeah, find a different organization.

restlessranger54 said:Only my immediate family actually knows I’m dealing with MS. I keep it on the down-low from everyone else. 🙏

Not exactly a badge of honor to brag about, you know? ☕

Honestly, I’m just stuck wondering how to handle things next time—assuming it even happens again. Like, if she has another outburst, do I just stay quiet or actually say something?

How do you guys deal with people being straight-up rude? 😠

Just snap at her next time. You'll feel better... instead of bottling it up and making your own health worse. It's not like she matters in your life anyway, and they pay peanuts for gossip... don't overthink it.

You guys really helped me out with those answers. Hopefully, things will be a bit smoother next time. It’s honestly wild how much garbage you run into in places where you least expect it 👎