crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...
This kind of thing usually hits people who are heavily wired toward logic. You use that logical brain of yours to solve every little problem, and eventually, you realize there’s just no rational reason left to feel anything. It works fine at first—you're just being efficient—but then one day you wake up and realize the emotional tap has been shut off, and you have no idea how to turn it back on.
I've been exactly where you are, so I really do get what you're going through. The best way to describe it is "emptiness." And let me tell you, that emptiness is way worse than feeling bad. There were times when I actually welcomed a sudden burst of fear or sadness, just because it made me feel *alive* for a second. Most of the time, though? I felt like a damn robot—going through all the motions, doing the work, but feeling zero connection to the fact that I was actually living.
So, how did I claw my way out? I didn't talk to anyone about it—mostly because I’m the type of person who hates asking for help, and I never wanted to hear a word about prescription pills. To me, those things just artificially relax the body to make the dissatisfaction vanish temporarily, which isn't a real fix. My solution came from diving deep into the mechanics of thoughts and emotions. I studied the subject extensively, and I landed on a few key takeaways:
You can actually steer your emotions by forcing your focus onto the present moment—basically building up your awareness instead of letting your mind wander off into "what ifs" about the future or regrets about the past. Once you start noticing your own thought patterns, you can actually pick them and direct them where you want. It’s biological, too—your thoughts trigger the hypothalamus to produce peptides responsible for your emotions and send them straight into your bloodstream. The second you catch yourself spiraling into a negative thought, stop it right there and pivot to something positive. If you want to feel happy, you have to actively hunt for reasons to smile, to feel joy, or to feel grateful. Look for it in the tiny stuff and the big stuff alike.
It also helps to dive into a hobby, hang out with people who aren't total pessimists, or hit the gym—exercise and meditation are scientifically proven to pump out those "feel-good" hormones. Even music can be a lifesaver.
crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...
Like I said before, try looking for things to be grateful for and write them down every single day. Make an effort to actually enjoy a good meal, watching a sunset, the wind, the rain, or just sitting with people you care about. Always be on the lookout for something that sparks a bit of gratitude. That’s how you build up optimism and positive momentum.
You can also try to force a laugh, even when you really don't feel like it. The human brain is actually kind of funny that way—it doesn't really distinguish between a genuine smile and a fake one; it just reacts by releasing a dose of hormones that trigger a sense of satisfaction and happiness.
crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...
Since everything feels draining and you aren't finding joy in anything right now, try starting with whatever catches even a tiny bit of your interest. Just lean into those things as much as you can.
Besides, maybe you're just one of those people who thrives in solitude, which would explain why you lack the will to socialize or keep up with friends. I'm wired that way myself, so I totally get where you're coming from.
crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...
First off, don't do stupid stuff like that. You might not be happy right now, but you're clearly an intelligent person. Use some logic and look at the different paths available to pull yourself out of this hole. Science basically suggests it takes about 22 days of repeating new thoughts, emotions, or actions to start breaking down old habits and forming new ones. Every day you keep at it, those new patterns get stronger. So, pick something smart and commit to doing it daily. You have to stay the course—three or five days isn't nearly enough to undo what you've spent years building.
I’d suggest looking up "self-motivation" and "self-discipline." That kind of knowledge could be a massive help. Honestly, books and movies centered around spiritual or psychological themes can be pretty therapeutic too. Always go hunting for knowledge; it’s the bedrock of making progress.
Work on building that discipline. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, hit the gym, set a daily schedule, and give yourself a little reward when you check things off your list. Sometimes taking that first step is brutal, but it pays off, and eventually, it gets easier and you start feeling better.
crimsonharbor2 said:Honestly, I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and eventually, I just became numb to everything. For as long as I can remember, there's been this underlying sense of depression and dissatisfaction. Nothing was ever enough for me—I always wanted more. More from my parents, more from my relationships, more from my career. I never struggled in school; I was always an honors student, and I fit in easily with people. In social settings, I’m talkative, open, and make friends effortlessly. I don't come across as shy at all. But killing that part of myself is exhausting. I have zero energy left to maintain friendships or even to care about anything. It’s been going on for years. Throughout high school, I tried to fill this void with constant partying, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. There were times when this dissatisfaction got so heavy that I actually attempted suicide or turned to self-harm... but nothing worked. Over time, the emptiness just grew. Now, in my early twenties, I feel completely hollow. No matter what happens to me, I don't care. I don't get upset about anything. I’m just phlegmatic, and that detachment is becoming even more depressing 🤷 I've also lost my fear of things that are clearly dangerous because I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. I want to feel alive so badly that I just push myself toward extremes.
I'm torn on whether I should start therapy or not. I honestly don't know what anyone could even say to me, because looking back at what I wrote, it might not sound like much of a "problem," but believe me—it is. Maybe I should have gone into more detail, but I think the core of it is clear.
Also, I’m not the type of person who can handle help from others. I’d do absolutely anything for someone else, but I hate it when people try to do things for me. Having to rely on others makes me incredibly uncomfortable, like I'm some kind of burden 🤷
Does anyone else here feel this way? Like it’s just something that never actually goes away...
Don't rush into therapy just yet. Try following the advice I gave you first. Give yourself another chance over the next year to pull yourself out of this on your own, and actually put in the work to make it happen. Just keep moving, regardless of how you feel or whether you have any motivation. Without persistence, you won't get anywhere, so stay consistent with what you do.
Look, if you find yourself a year down the road still feeling totally stuck and unable to change things on your own—seriously, go find a pro. Get some actual help.
PS: For crying out loud, don't make any massive life decisions when you're riding an emotional high or crashing in a low. It's just bad judgment. Always sleep on it first, then wake up the next day and double-check whether you actually meant what you thought you meant.
