High School Guide: Admissions, reviews, and advice

@Adam Diaz67, honestly, back when I was in school, the teachers didn't change nearly as much as people claim; we’d joke around when the mood allowed, but if they called for silence, you actually got silence.
It’s funny how things work out, isn't it? I remember getting my first microscope—the kind with a built-in camera and imaging capabilities—from my dad right around the time I was finishing middle school and starting at Phillips Academy, and that little device opened up an entire universe of things I never would have even dreamed of seeing on my own. Then, you layer that on top of having teachers who constantly feed you fresh ideas and challenging assignments, and you just find yourself gradually evolving into whatever it is you love... you explore things at a pace that fits your age and your growing skillset, which really shapes who you become. Because of that environment, I genuinely enjoyed my time in school, and it made the transition to college feel pretty seamless.
If I had to say, I think for most people, those specific years in school act as the ultimate compass for where they go next in life.

@Terry Martinez10

You went to a specialized prep school. My experience was at a pretty average high school in Chicago. Friends of mine who attended Miami or Phillips Academy have an experience much closer to yours. Those schools have such strong reputations, and they generally attract kids who are already highly motivated—often the type who were crushing science fairs and math competitions back in middle school. Basically, you get the top-tier, driven students. It’s way easier for teachers in that kind of environment too; they can actually go beyond the standard curriculum because the students want more. In those places, kids are practically competing to see who gets to join the competition teams. Back at my school, the teacher basically had to beg people to participate, even if they were talented and aced the subject—they just couldn't be bothered.

Anyway, the bottom line is that everything depends on the specific class and the teacher. You get miracles when you pair a motivated class with a motivated teacher. Take those kids from Miami, for instance—they're constantly bringing home medals from computer science olympiads. On the flip side, you have schools where it's total chaos: an alcoholic teacher who doesn't give a damn, and students who only enrolled because they didn't qualify anywhere else. That's the other extreme. Then there's the middle ground, where the distribution of teachers and students follows a Gauss curve. But honestly, if you don't have any real disciplinary measures in place, even one or two problematic kids can totally ruin the lesson for the other 25 or 30 people in the room.

Adam Diaz67 said:@Terry Martinez10

You went to a specialized prep school. My experience was at a pretty average high school in Chicago. Friends of mine who attended Miami or Phillips Academy have an experience much closer to yours. Those schools have such strong reputations, and they generally attract kids who are already highly motivated—often the type who were crushing science fairs and math competitions back in middle school. Basically, you get the top-tier, driven students. It’s way easier for teachers in that kind of environment too; they can actually go beyond the standard curriculum because the students want more. In those places, kids are practically competing to see who gets to join the competition teams. Back at my school, the teacher basically had to beg people to participate, even if they were talented and aced the subject—they just couldn't be bothered.

Anyway, the bottom line is that everything depends on the specific class and the teacher. You get miracles when you pair a motivated class with a motivated teacher. Take those kids from Miami, for instance—they're constantly bringing home medals from computer science olympiads. On the flip side, you have schools where it's total chaos: an alcoholic teacher who doesn't give a damn, and students who only enrolled because they didn't qualify anywhere else. That's the other extreme. Then there's the middle ground, where the distribution of teachers and students follows a Gauss curve. But honestly, if you don't have any real disciplinary measures in place, even one or two problematic kids can totally ruin the lesson for the other 25 or 30 people in the room.

That’s why it’s worth commuting for some schools, while for others, it’s just not worth the trip.

It honestly catches me off guard whenever I look at my kid’s eighth-grade class list. It seems like almost everyone is signed up for after-school tutoring, and usually for multiple subjects at once. It's clear they're all gunning for those elite prep schools.

Now, go ahead and call me out if you want, but I really feel like kids who struggled and needed extra help throughout middle school aren't necessarily cut out for the high school honors tracks. In my opinion, those intensive academic programs are really designed for the students who breezed through their standard curriculum with top marks and zero struggle. If a kid had to grind through every single lesson just to maintain a decent grade in middle school, they’re going to hit a massive wall in a high-pressure prep school environment. They'll end up working five times harder than everyone else just to stay afloat, and honestly? That just leads to burnout and total misery.

Maybe they just have bad teachers?

No way.

It’s more likely they just have a terrible birth chart, or maybe their horoscope for the day of the exam was garbage, but a bad teacher? Highly unlikely.
There's also a slim chance the curriculum is poorly designed or too bloated, but even that seems like a stretch.

hiddendriver34 said:It honestly catches me off guard whenever I look at my kid’s eighth-grade class list. It seems like almost everyone is signed up for after-school tutoring, and usually for multiple subjects at once. It's clear they're all gunning for those elite prep schools.

Now, go ahead and call me out if you want, but I really feel like kids who struggled and needed extra help throughout middle school aren't necessarily cut out for the high school honors tracks. In my opinion, those intensive academic programs are really designed for the students who breezed through their standard curriculum with top marks and zero struggle. If a kid had to grind through every single lesson just to maintain a decent grade in middle school, they’re going to hit a massive wall in a high-pressure prep school environment. They'll end up working five times harder than everyone else just to stay afloat, and honestly? That just leads to burnout and total misery.

We've been having this exact conversation for ages.
Don't worry, we aren't going to come after you; we'll probably just raise a glass to your honesty! 🙂🙂

From what I can gather about the tutoring scene these days—especially with how many teachers have left the profession and how much everything shifted online—people are basically just paying to fill in the gaps.
It’s not really "helping" kids master the material; it’s more like DIY homeschooling because the public school system isn't quite hitting the mark.

hiddendriver34 said:It honestly catches me off guard whenever I look at my kid’s eighth-grade class list. It seems like almost everyone is signed up for after-school tutoring, and usually for multiple subjects at once. It's clear they're all gunning for those elite prep schools.

Now, go ahead and call me out if you want, but I really feel like kids who struggled and needed extra help throughout middle school aren't necessarily cut out for the high school honors tracks. In my opinion, those intensive academic programs are really designed for the students who breezed through their standard curriculum with top marks and zero struggle. If a kid had to grind through every single lesson just to maintain a decent grade in middle school, they’re going to hit a massive wall in a high-pressure prep school environment. They'll end up working five times harder than everyone else just to stay afloat, and honestly? That just leads to burnout and total misery.

Look, I might agree with you if it weren't for the perfect example my daughter provides. Last year, she struggled so much with Spanish that she had to go to tutoring once or twice a month. This year, with a different teacher, she hasn't needed help once and keeps getting straight As.

stormymarlin22 said:Maybe they just have bad teachers?

I mean, come on—are we really saying great teachers are expected to teach every single kid to a perfect five? 😁

hiddendriver34 said:I mean, come on—are we really saying great teachers are expected to teach every single kid to a perfect five? 😁

They really need to be taught.
It's not just about getting that perfect score, either—it’s really more about the overall grade.

They really need to learn the fundamentals if they want to tackle more advanced topics later on. Math is so cumulative—everything builds on what you learned the year before. Plus, having a solid grasp of math is absolutely essential for fields like computer science, physics, and chemistry. I mean, how can a kid expect to master complex subjects down the road if they've got huge gaps in their foundation?
When you have a kid like that in class, they aren't just slowing themselves down—they’re dragging the whole group along with them.

When it comes to language learning, one bad grade can feel like a total gut punch. It’s more than just seeing a low number on a report card; it really starts to chip away at your drive to keep going. Once that momentum stalls, staying motivated becomes the real uphill battle.

I’m talking about those students who have to grind through endless tutoring sessions just to scrape by with an A. In my book, those kids aren't really cut out for elite prep schools. An A isn't some participation trophy you hand out to everyone, and you can't realistically expect a teacher to spoon-feed the entire class enough material to hit that top mark. Thinking otherwise is just plain crazy.

If a teacher has students who need extra help just to grasp the basics, then frankly, I don't think they're doing their job right.

Susan James said:They really need to be taught.
It's not just about getting that perfect score, either—it’s really more about the overall grade.

They really need to learn the fundamentals if they want to tackle more advanced topics later on. Math is so cumulative—everything builds on what you learned the year before. Plus, having a solid grasp of math is absolutely essential for fields like computer science, physics, and chemistry. I mean, how can a kid expect to master complex subjects down the road if they've got huge gaps in their foundation?
When you have a kid like that in class, they aren't just slowing themselves down—they’re dragging the whole group along with them.

When it comes to language learning, one bad grade can feel like a total gut punch. It’s more than just seeing a low number on a report card; it really starts to chip away at your drive to keep going. Once that momentum stalls, staying motivated becomes the real uphill battle.

My daughter actually wanted to quit German, but after talking it through, we realized it’s much cheaper and easier to just stick with her current school and fill those gaps with an hour or two of tutoring rather than enrolling in a whole language academy.
Now she’s suddenly found a huge incentive—she met a really cute guy, and now she’s practically sprinting to her German classes.🎉

hiddendriver34 said:I’m talking about those students who have to grind through endless tutoring sessions just to scrape by with an A. In my book, those kids aren't really cut out for elite prep schools. An A isn't some participation trophy you hand out to everyone, and you can't realistically expect a teacher to spoon-feed the entire class enough material to hit that top mark. Thinking otherwise is just plain crazy.

If a teacher has students who need extra help just to grasp the basics, then frankly, I don't think they're doing their job right.

Okay, let me give you an example using my daughter. Are you saying she isn't "prep school material" just because she couldn't maintain an A in German without extra help?
Keep in mind, neither my husband nor I know a single word of German, so we can't help her at all. She was one of the few kids in her class actually taking the language, with absolutely no support at home.
So, how is it that she’s suddenly able to pull an A without any tutoring now? She's totally caught up, and she's doing it all solely through her schoolwork.

hiddendriver34 said:I’m talking about those students who have to grind through endless tutoring sessions just to scrape by with an A. In my book, those kids aren't really cut out for elite prep schools. An A isn't some participation trophy you hand out to everyone, and you can't realistically expect a teacher to spoon-feed the entire class enough material to hit that top mark. Thinking otherwise is just plain crazy.

If a teacher has students who need extra help just to grasp the basics, then frankly, I don't think they're doing their job right.

I hear you. I know plenty of kids whose parents are constantly working with them behind the scenes, and honestly, those kids definitely aren't ready for a place like Phillips Academy.
When I say "constantly working with them," I don't just mean the time before the pandemic hit. I'm talking about the massive amount of college-educated people I know who have spent countless hours sitting with their kids, forcing them to focus, stay motivated, and actually get stuff done. Kids who truly belong in a top-tier prep school can usually master the material just by showing up consistently—well, they could, until they got buried under all those massive take-home projects. If there's a gap left by a mediocre teacher, these kids can often bridge it themselves if they realize what's happening (or when they get a better instructor), but it's still a struggle. It’s much easier when they have a parent or an older sibling stepping in, or if they occasionally get some private tutoring (this whole summer example is a perfect illustration of that).

Hey rowdypanther12, does your little one usually tackle her homework solo, or are you right there helping her through it? How much study time are we talking about? And honestly, does she find her classes challenging or is it pretty smooth sailing for her? Those are the big questions for me. In my book, taking a year of German tutoring isn't really the dealbreaker here.

In my kid's class, it seems like almost everyone is hitting up a math tutor just to scrape an A. Then you have those kids who just get an A naturally without any extra help at all. To me, if a student is pulling top grades without tutoring, that teacher is absolutely killing it. But for the kids constantly relying on tutors now? They’re setting themselves up for a struggle. Once they hit high school, they'll probably need five times the amount of tutoring just to maintain a B or even a C. That's the reality I'm looking at.

E: @ Susan James, yeah, you hit the nail on the head. We are totally on the same page.

Well, she does have to study quite a bit. But it’s mostly just history and geography. 😂 Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but I haven't really noticed any drama with her other subjects. There’s a test, you study a bit, and that's that.
Those two subjects definitely require effort. Though, if there's one thing they have in common, it's that the teachers have taken some "life lessons" from the school district a bit too literally. 😬
Her independent projects are entirely her own responsibility, though I do step in to help when she asks or to explain things—like what a municipality is, for instance. 😂

I can only imagine what it would be like if math were taught the way geography is right now. It's not exactly impossible, but man... it would be like her sixth-grade German class.
Some teachers just aren't willing to help a kid when they get stuck and ask for clarification, and others honestly don't seem to care about doing the work. They just hand out the assignment and head home.
She'll probably need some tutoring from time to time. Right now, she just goes to after-school sessions if she needs extra help, especially if she missed something during class. The teacher made it clear from the start that those sessions are open to everyone and are basically free tutoring.

It's not like I'm raising a genius; she's just a perfectly smart, normal kid. She's just a little more ambitious and responsible than the average student. She's also lucky enough to have great or decent teachers in most of her classes.

In my experience, at least half of my current class is taking private tutoring—usually for STEM subjects, maybe some language help, or just a couple of people working with a study coach. I have no clue how many parents end up sitting down to help them study as well, but it happens. I guess.
Looking back at my high school days—it was probably about two-thirds of my grade—almost everyone had some form of tutoring going on. Whether it was a regular weekly thing or just sporadic help when things got tough... honestly, only two people from that whole group actually made it through college.

So, we’re sitting here playing the parent role, trying to figure out which high school makes the most sense.
It feels like my kid barely hits the books, yet somehow he’s pulling a 4.0 GPA.
He actually admits he stays focused during class—he isn't just staring at the clock waiting for the bell to ring or anything. He’s got a mountain of top marks for participation because he’s actually engaged in the lessons.
This week, he’s heading to the regional competition for one subject, and he already qualified for the national level in another. Last year, he placed pretty high in the national competition for that same subject too.
In our area, there are only two specialized math academies, and honestly, given what he wants to major in later, that seems like the smartest move.
I guess I'm not really worried about how heavy the workload is; I care more about whether the teachers actually give a damn.
For example, this year they had a chemistry teacher who seemed like he didn't even want to be alive, let alone bother explaining anything to the kids.

rowdypanther12 said:Okay, let me give you an example using my daughter. Are you saying she isn't "prep school material" just because she couldn't maintain an A in German without extra help?
Keep in mind, neither my husband nor I know a single word of German, so we can't help her at all. She was one of the few kids in her class actually taking the language, with absolutely no support at home.
So, how is it that she’s suddenly able to pull an A without any tutoring now? She's totally caught up, and she's doing it all solely through her schoolwork.

That is just ONE subject out of how many?
Bill Clinton is talking about kids who get tutors for three or four different subjects, while the parents are frantically studying right alongside them just to secure what I call those forced straight As.
And then, with those manufactured grades, they'll enroll the kid in a prep school, a vocational academy, or some intense four-year technical program, only to spend the next four years struggling with Cs while the parents are swearing (and maybe even filing complaints against) unreasonable teachers who set the bar too high.
But honestly, it’s not that the teachers are asking for too much—it's more that you might be confusing your own personal ambitions with what your kid is actually capable of.

Of course there are plenty of parents pushing for straight A's, but I just wanted to point out that needing a tutor isn't always a sign that a kid is struggling.
It really isn't. Unfortunately, we deal with way too many subpar teachers, and it's all too common for staff to be swapped out constantly. You end up with weeks where a subject has no teacher at all, or they're stuck with someone who just isn't up to the task...
I could easily ask a colleague exactly how many times her little one's math teacher changed during third grade, or how many times they had two-week gaps in instruction.
Honestly, how is a kid supposed to pass without extra help sometimes?
And what happens when that's going on in two, three, or four different subjects?
Look, it varies, but I'm just trying to be realistic because I've seen firsthand how much things can change from one school year to the next.