What should we actually expect from our therapists and psychiatrists?

I basically see psychotherapy as a type of self-work—something meant for personal growth.
I actually started recently because of some relationship drama, but I’m fully aware that most of the issues stem from my own head... and I really want to sort them out.
As for what I need from a therapist? Just someone to gently guide my own self-discovery and jump in actively whenever they see I'm stuck.
So far, so good. Even though those 50 minutes fly by way too fast—our "talk" just keeps looping in my mind afterward, and I always end up hitting on some pretty interesting realizations...

I expect my psychiatrist to provide some actual direction, yet my doctor certainly isn't doing that. We sit there for thirty minutes, both of us just counting down the seconds until she can finally close the file on my case and I can walk out of her office.🙄

hiddenwalker30 said:I expect my psychiatrist to provide some actual direction, yet my doctor certainly isn't doing that. We sit there for thirty minutes, both of us just counting down the seconds until she can finally close the file on my case and I can walk out of her office.🙄

Look, there’s a massive distinction between seeing a psychotherapist for actual treatment and just going to a specialist for a routine checkup—they aren't even in the same ballpark. One is about deep, transformative work, while the other is just a standard clinical assessment.

Eric Gray2 said:Look, there’s a massive distinction between seeing a psychotherapist for actual treatment and just going to a specialist for a routine checkup—they aren't even in the same ballpark. One is about deep, transformative work, while the other is just a standard clinical assessment.

I realize, but I am specifically referring to psychotherapy.🙂

hiddenwalker30 said:I realize, but I am specifically referring to psychotherapy.🙂

I also got the impression you aren't talking about psychotherapy or the therapist itself. 🙂

So, what actually happens during those 30 minutes, and what do you mean by "guidance"...

Michelle Evans said:I also got the impression you aren't talking about psychotherapy or the therapist itself. 🙂

So, what actually happens during those 30 minutes, and what do you mean by "guidance"...

Most of the time, I just talk about everything that’s been weighing on me since my last session, while she stays almost entirely silent—offering nothing more than an occasional "hmm" or "mm-hmm." 🙄

I go there expecting her to help me uncover the root of my issues and why these fears exist in the first place, rather than being sent home just because I mention I'm having a decent day. One session even ended after a mere 15 minutes. 🙄

hiddenwalker30 said:Most of the time, I just talk about everything that’s been weighing on me since my last session, while she stays almost entirely silent—offering nothing more than an occasional "hmm" or "mm-hmm." 🙄

I go there expecting her to help me uncover the root of my issues and why these fears exist in the first place, rather than being sent home just because I mention I'm having a decent day. One session even ended after a mere 15 minutes. 🙄

Since you're seeing a psychiatrist for therapy, I’m guessing she follows a psychoanalytic approach. If that's the case, what you're describing sounds like a pretty standard psychoanalytic session, at least during the early stages. Those little humming sounds are actually quite common...

It seems like the issue is simply that you had a different idea of how you'd reach a breakthrough compared to her methods. You can either lean into her process or find someone who aligns better with what you're looking for. Otherwise, you'll just end up feeling frustrated... 🤷
And honestly, it's not like you won't find another therapist... 😬

hiddenwalker30 said:Most of the time, I just talk about everything that’s been weighing on me since my last session, while she stays almost entirely silent—offering nothing more than an occasional "hmm" or "mm-hmm." 🙄

I go there expecting her to help me uncover the root of my issues and why these fears exist in the first place, rather than being sent home just because I mention I'm having a decent day. One session even ended after a mere 15 minutes. 🙄

If you didn't mention it was a woman, I would've assumed you were seeing my old psychiatrist. 🤣

The thing is, he was also a total master at jumping from topic to topic. We never actually tackled any real issues. It wasn't until the very last session—when I made it crystal clear that I was done and just coming in to say goodbye—that he finally started asking actual, detailed questions. Back then, I had just gone through a breakup, so it felt more natural. Before that? If I’d mention I was feeling down or pissed off because I got into it with a friend or a parent, he’d just be like, "Okayyyyy, so how was your semester at NYU?" And then we'd just chat about how boring campus life is until twenty minutes later when I’d leave. He’d just stop asking questions, and I’d run out of things to say because I’d already tried bringing up the fight three different times, but he’d dodge the subject every single time. Not subtle at all. 😬

she loves me unconditionally and without limits 😁
is that going too far? 😛

Andrew Lopez10 said:she loves me unconditionally and without limits 😁
is that going too far? 😛

Yeah, it is.

Eric Gray2 said:Yeah, it is.

Oh yeah? And why's that?
thanks for such a deeply profound and intellectually stimulating answer, really. 🙄

Come on, let's just pretend you aren't trolling here 🙂
The relationship between a client and a therapist isn't love—it’s not a romantic connection, it isn't a friendship, and it certainly isn't a parental bond. Sure, that dynamic requires trust, but it doesn't involve that kind of limitless, unconditional love.

Andrew Lopez10 said:she loves me unconditionally and without limits 😁
is that going too far? 😛

I mean, honestly, that’s kind of like asking a sex worker for true love. No offense, though. 😁

I am looking for full assistance—everything required—to ensure the job actually gets done... because, at the end of the day, that is what a job is for.

It is a bit like when your car breaks down and you take it to a mechanic to get it fixed; I suppose one shouldn't expect anything less than results. 😉

Eric Gray2 said:Come on, let's just pretend you aren't trolling here 🙂
The relationship between a client and a therapist isn't love—it’s not a romantic connection, it isn't a friendship, and it certainly isn't a parental bond. Sure, that dynamic requires trust, but it doesn't involve that kind of limitless, unconditional love.

Then I wonder, what kind of relationship actually involves unconditional love?