Falling in love: a sign of weakness?

My contact over at Coca-Cola told me I should post this here:

Falling in love 🤦

Is being in love a sign of weakness? Am I just some kind of weakling?

Status: married
Children: I have a child

Satisfied with life: never
Affairs: never
Potential lover: never
Emotionally: a mess

What I really want to know is: am I a weakling if I find myself constantly falling in love? What is my Quote in all of this?
I honestly don't even have the energy to write this out. Nor the strength to keep it bottled up inside.

First off, I refuse to admit to myself that I am someone who falls in love easily. I simply won't. 🤦

The whole thing has been dragging on for months now. If not longer.
The last time we were sitting together, she looked at me and said, "You're in love with me."
It cut through me so sharply that I snapped back defensively, "No, I'm not. No, definitely not..."
And then, internally, I kept repeating it to myself: I don't need this, I don't want this. What kind of Quote would that leave me with?!
I was physically stressed by it. Perhaps my body language betrayed me more than my words ever could. I am trying to deny it. I can't afford to acknowledge it. I cannot allow myself to go there. It's one of those things where I simply don't stand a chance with her! I’ll just end up looking like a fool.

Yes, I am generally dissatisfied with my life. And she is currently dealing with her own chaotic mess.
That said, she is stunning. In every sense of the word. I find her behavior and the way she treats me incredibly appealing. It suits me.

I suspect we are avoiding one another. Or perhaps she is avoiding me. Or maybe I am avoiding her. Or maybe I am just being delusional. 🤦

I am running out of steam. Forgive me, I won't be posting again today. I am coming apart at the seams. I'm losing my mind. 🤦

.....once you hit 70, all of this stuff won't even matter anymore....🙂))))))))))

Man, just take a step back, buddy. You aren't even fifteen yet... get a grip on those feelings before they get the better of you, otherwise, you're just going to end up being a pushover.

Kenneth Castillo96 said:My contact over at Coca-Cola told me I should post this here:

Falling in love 🤦

Is being in love a sign of weakness? Am I just some kind of weakling?

Status: married
Children: I have a child

Satisfied with life: never
Affairs: never
Potential lover: never
Emotionally: a mess

What I really want to know is: am I a weakling if I find myself constantly falling in love? What is my Quote in all of this?
I honestly don't even have the energy to write this out. Nor the strength to keep it bottled up inside.

First off, I refuse to admit to myself that I am someone who falls in love easily. I simply won't. 🤦

The whole thing has been dragging on for months now. If not longer.
The last time we were sitting together, she looked at me and said, "You're in love with me."
It cut through me so sharply that I snapped back defensively, "No, I'm not. No, definitely not..."
And then, internally, I kept repeating it to myself: I don't need this, I don't want this. What kind of Quote would that leave me with?!
I was physically stressed by it. Perhaps my body language betrayed me more than my words ever could. I am trying to deny it. I can't afford to acknowledge it. I cannot allow myself to go there. It's one of those things where I simply don't stand a chance with her! I’ll just end up looking like a fool.

Yes, I am generally dissatisfied with my life. And she is currently dealing with her own chaotic mess.
That said, she is stunning. In every sense of the word. I find her behavior and the way she treats me incredibly appealing. It suits me.

I suspect we are avoiding one another. Or perhaps she is avoiding me. Or maybe I am avoiding her. Or maybe I am just being delusional. 🤦

I am running out of steam. Forgive me, I won't be posting again today. I am coming apart at the seams. I'm losing my mind. 🤦

🤦

Don't go putting your faith in a woman who can't even tell the truth 😁

frozenmaker74 said:🤦

Don't go putting your faith in a woman who can't even tell the truth 😁

Ha-ha........ where exactly is this supposed lie? Surely any woman can see I'm struggling here, especially when I start acting like I'm actually getting some action—which, let's be honest, isn't quite the case, but it certainly feels like the rug is being pulled out from under me. If she's being dishonest, where is the deception? Surely she has at least a bit of common sense; it's unlikely she's completely untrustworthy...

Kenneth Castillo96 said:My contact over at Coca-Cola told me I should post this here:

Falling in love 🤦

Is being in love a sign of weakness? Am I just some kind of weakling?

Status: married
Children: I have a child

Satisfied with life: never
Affairs: never
Potential lover: never
Emotionally: a mess

What I really want to know is: am I a weakling if I find myself constantly falling in love? What is my Quote in all of this?
I honestly don't even have the energy to write this out. Nor the strength to keep it bottled up inside.

First off, I refuse to admit to myself that I am someone who falls in love easily. I simply won't. 🤦

The whole thing has been dragging on for months now. If not longer.
The last time we were sitting together, she looked at me and said, "You're in love with me."
It cut through me so sharply that I snapped back defensively, "No, I'm not. No, definitely not..."
And then, internally, I kept repeating it to myself: I don't need this, I don't want this. What kind of Quote would that leave me with?!
I was physically stressed by it. Perhaps my body language betrayed me more than my words ever could. I am trying to deny it. I can't afford to acknowledge it. I cannot allow myself to go there. It's one of those things where I simply don't stand a chance with her! I’ll just end up looking like a fool.

Yes, I am generally dissatisfied with my life. And she is currently dealing with her own chaotic mess.
That said, she is stunning. In every sense of the word. I find her behavior and the way she treats me incredibly appealing. It suits me.

I suspect we are avoiding one another. Or perhaps she is avoiding me. Or maybe I am avoiding her. Or maybe I am just being delusional. 🤦

I am running out of steam. Forgive me, I won't be posting again today. I am coming apart at the seams. I'm losing my mind. 🤦

Any thoughts on what might have driven her to say that?

Samuel Reed2 said:Any thoughts on what might have driven her to say that?

Yes. I practically led her right to it. To be honest, I wasn't expecting that question at all; I was caught completely off guard. In fact, it wasn't even framed as a question—it was more of a sudden conclusion she reached. (Though, if I'm being perfectly honest, I can barely remember... 😕 )
How did I lead her there? Well, I told her, "You know, I have an intimate question for you," looked away for a moment, then turned my gaze back to her and asked something regarding work. It wasn't some fabricated nonsense; it was a legitimate, specific inquiry about business.

Naturally, I didn't mention that I am absolutely smitten with her. Not that I would ever admit that to myself, either.

Kenneth Castillo96 said:Yes. I practically led her right to it. To be honest, I wasn't expecting that question at all; I was caught completely off guard. In fact, it wasn't even framed as a question—it was more of a sudden conclusion she reached. (Though, if I'm being perfectly honest, I can barely remember... 😕 )
How did I lead her there? Well, I told her, "You know, I have an intimate question for you," looked away for a moment, then turned my gaze back to her and asked something regarding work. It wasn't some fabricated nonsense; it was a legitimate, specific inquiry about business.

Naturally, I didn't mention that I am absolutely smitten with her. Not that I would ever admit that to myself, either.

The reason I ask is because I'm struggling to understand what kind of reaction she was hoping to provoke with that statement. Of course, there's a chance it wasn't calculated at all. Maybe it just popped into her head that you were in love with her, and she blurted it out without thinking.

How does one actually say it—hey, yeah, I’m head over heels for you—without completely blowing their chance and making things awkward?

Kenneth Castillo96 said:How does one actually say it—hey, yeah, I’m head over heels for you—without completely blowing their chance and making things awkward?

Look, there are plenty of ways to be way more subtle than that. Nothing happens overnight, I guess.

Mark Nelson said:Look, there are plenty of ways to be way more subtle than that. Nothing happens overnight, I guess.

Hmm, could we get an actual example of what constitutes "subtlety" here? And does being subtle actually guarantee success?
It seems women can never quite get enough subtlety—I just don't follow the logic...🤷

It appears they have to be in just the right mood to accept those kinds of statements from a man; everything has to be on their terms. 🤦
One has to constantly prepare them, prep them, prep them, and so on, and so forth...

Kenneth Castillo96 said:Hmm, could we get an actual example of what constitutes "subtlety" here? And does being subtle actually guarantee success?
It seems women can never quite get enough subtlety—I just don't follow the logic...🤷

It appears they have to be in just the right mood to accept those kinds of statements from a man; everything has to be on their terms. 🤦
One has to constantly prepare them, prep them, prep them, and so on, and so forth...

You just look at her for a bit, tell her she looks great today, maybe brush some hair out of her face, ask her to grab a drink... then things just kind of play out naturally later on.

It’s not a magic fix, but I thought you mentioned having a hard time being direct when expressing how you feel. Or maybe I totally misread that. If that's the case, what else are you supposed to do?

Mark Nelson said:You just look at her for a bit, tell her she looks great today, maybe brush some hair out of her face, ask her to grab a drink... then things just kind of play out naturally later on.

It’s not a magic fix, but I thought you mentioned having a hard time being direct when expressing how you feel. Or maybe I totally misread that. If that's the case, what else are you supposed to do?

To be honest, it’s obvious to me that I’m just hesitating. Besides, I don't think I even stand a chance with her, and frankly, none of this seems worth the effort anyway...

I suspect she’d just tell me I’ve completely deluded myself... and that she doesn't want to see, speak to, or hear from me ever again... I would feel utterly humiliated... and that is exactly what I am trying to avoid...

🤦

I suspect this conversation might be drifting away from the intended scope of this specific sub-forum. In fact, I am fairly certain this topic belongs elsewhere—perhaps moved to a section where people will actually be interested in reading it and sharing their own perspectives and experiences.

Kenneth Castillo96 said:How does one actually say it—hey, yeah, I’m head over heels for you—without completely blowing their chance and making things awkward?

Look, there’s no manual for telling someone you’re in love with them. There really isn't. But man, there are a million fears attached to it—how to say it, how to phrase it, when the timing is actually right, or if a "right moment" even exists in this crazy world.
Most of us are terrified of just saying the words because we're scared of getting shut down hard. We're scared they'll laugh in our faces, or give us that blank, confused stare... and then we're left dealing with that crushing sense of shame or whatever you want to call it. Meanwhile, life just keeps moving, days fly by, and we're just sitting there stuck in our own heads, too afraid to breathe, too afraid to live, too afraid to speak... all because of that nagging "what if?"
I went through a massive romance and an even bigger heartbreak recently. I was brave enough to say "I love you," and I was even brave enough to be vulnerable—to basically practically beg for love, if you can believe it. But... it didn't go the way I wanted. And now? I just feel empty. Dull. Aimless. Honestly, I'm pretty terrified that my whole life lost its spark because of this. Maybe it hasn't, maybe it has... but I know I feel absolutely miserable, and I would give anything to just rewind the clock back to the very beginning.
I probably wouldn't have put myself out there so much if I were thinking straight... but hey, that's just me. That's just how I am.
The unfortunate truth about life is that you shouldn't always lay all your cards on the table immediately. Because once you do... everyone knows exactly what you're holding and exactly what they can expect from you.
I guess people just find the anticipation more fun—that little game of cat and mouse. Personally, I don't have the time or the energy for those games... and if you don't play along, you end up being the one who looks "clueless" or whatever.
Advice? I don't really have any. But it seems to me that playing games without boundaries usually hits harder than just being honest, open, and showing all your hand right away.

Kenneth Castillo96 said:To be honest, it’s obvious to me that I’m just hesitating. Besides, I don't think I even stand a chance with her, and frankly, none of this seems worth the effort anyway...

I suspect she’d just tell me I’ve completely deluded myself... and that she doesn't want to see, speak to, or hear from me ever again... I would feel utterly humiliated... and that is exactly what I am trying to avoid...

🤦

I suspect this conversation might be drifting away from the intended scope of this specific sub-forum. In fact, I am fairly certain this topic belongs elsewhere—perhaps moved to a section where people will actually be interested in reading it and sharing their own perspectives and experiences.

Whenever we fight for something worth having, there's always a risk involved.
Asking "what if" questions doesn't really change anything; it just keeps things stuck.
Women, generally speaking, are incredibly good at picking up on signals. You only have to scroll through this forum for a second to see that. 😁
It's the same way they know exactly how to send signals when they're interested in someone. Your job is just to watch, pay attention to how she acts, and not force anything.
Then you can decide for yourself whether it's worth making a move or if you should just walk away. 🙂

Wait just a second, hold on now, don't you have a wife and children at home...

Chloe Cruz5 said:Wait just a second, hold on now, don't you have a wife and children at home...

OMG. 🤦

Just ignore everything inside those quotes, assuming this is even true. 😁

Mark Nelson said:OMG. 🤦

Just ignore everything inside those quotes, assuming this is even true. 😁

Coca-Cola, did you seriously not read this thread from the very beginning? Regardless, thanks for the input...

Zachary Smith91 said:Look, there’s no manual for telling someone you’re in love with them. There really isn't. But man, there are a million fears attached to it—how to say it, how to phrase it, when the timing is actually right, or if a "right moment" even exists in this crazy world.
Most of us are terrified of just saying the words because we're scared of getting shut down hard. We're scared they'll laugh in our faces, or give us that blank, confused stare... and then we're left dealing with that crushing sense of shame or whatever you want to call it. Meanwhile, life just keeps moving, days fly by, and we're just sitting there stuck in our own heads, too afraid to breathe, too afraid to live, too afraid to speak... all because of that nagging "what if?"
I went through a massive romance and an even bigger heartbreak recently. I was brave enough to say "I love you," and I was even brave enough to be vulnerable—to basically practically beg for love, if you can believe it. But... it didn't go the way I wanted. And now? I just feel empty. Dull. Aimless. Honestly, I'm pretty terrified that my whole life lost its spark because of this. Maybe it hasn't, maybe it has... but I know I feel absolutely miserable, and I would give anything to just rewind the clock back to the very beginning.
I probably wouldn't have put myself out there so much if I were thinking straight... but hey, that's just me. That's just how I am.
The unfortunate truth about life is that you shouldn't always lay all your cards on the table immediately. Because once you do... everyone knows exactly what you're holding and exactly what they can expect from you.
I guess people just find the anticipation more fun—that little game of cat and mouse. Personally, I don't have the time or the energy for those games... and if you don't play along, you end up being the one who looks "clueless" or whatever.
Advice? I don't really have any. But it seems to me that playing games without boundaries usually hits harder than just being honest, open, and showing all your hand right away.

You're absolutely right. That was beautifully put. Thank you. Certain things in life truly can... "destroy" us. A wrong decision, a tactical error, self-delusion... there is no going back in time. Even though sometimes you have to take the risk, still... 😢

Kenneth Castillo96 said:Coca-Cola, did you seriously not read this thread from the very beginning? Regardless, thanks for the input...

Alright, fine. Now I see it's actually true.
Honestly, I'd rather just ask how to fall in love with my wife all over again.