Feeling socially awkward/isolated

Michael Moore45 said:One thing is absolutely certain—this whole phase of going out and drinking too much is eventually going to catch up with you.
My honest advice? Just get through it as quickly as possible and live it all out now.
I went through my own version of this when I was sixteen and seventeen, and honestly, I’m totally over it now. It’s a huge contrast to one of my girlfriends, for instance; back then, she used to constantly lecture me about it, saying things like, "Oh, don't drink too much," or "Are you feeling okay?" Well, she's twenty now, and instead of actually focusing on her college classes or anything meaningful in life, she's still just obsessing over where the next party is, how much she can drink, and which guy she can hook up with.

In my opinion, it’s probably better to just burn through that energy early on, but hey, if you aren't really feeling it right now, I guess there's not much else I can say, right? 😁
That phase will come for you eventually, and when it does, it'll come. By the way, you're perfectly normal, so don't even worry about it. 🤣

Michelle Alvarez8 said:Using the word "catch up" makes it sound like I'm running away from this "partying and drinking" phase in the first place! Plus, that "certainty" you're talking about is just nonsense. I'm nearly 34—I've never found hitting the clubs and getting wasted particularly interesting. What am I supposed to do, go wild now? ☕

Matthew Wilson50 said:It's not that I've never gone out, but whenever I do, I just don't find it fun or feel comfortable in the company I'm with, if I'm being honest.
could be Facebook

The choice to stay in? Well, I just don't like going out, so I decided not to do things I don't want to do;
I don't lack confidence, nor am I unsure of myself; everything is fine there;
What's holding me back—that's a good question. I wish I knew the answer, but it just doesn't fit my personality, and that's about it;
I suppose I'm just an ordinary young guy. Nothing is wrong with my life; I enjoy things as much as I can and I'm as happy as can be.

I kind of don't believe that, haha. We'll see.

🙂

So, yeah, that's my final take,

but I was mostly just curious to see what people—you know, the types who go out all the time—might think about someone like me. I wondered if they had any opinions, whether they thought it was good or bad, or whatever.

Matthew Wilson50 said:It's not that I've never gone out, but whenever I do, I just don't find it fun or feel comfortable in the company I'm with, if I'm being honest.
could be Facebook

The choice to stay in? Well, I just don't like going out, so I decided not to do things I don't want to do;
I don't lack confidence, nor am I unsure of myself; everything is fine there;
What's holding me back—that's a good question. I wish I knew the answer, but it just doesn't fit my personality, and that's about it;
I suppose I'm just an ordinary young guy. Nothing is wrong with my life; I enjoy things as much as I can and I'm as happy as can be.

I kind of don't believe that, haha. We'll see.

🙂

So, yeah, that's my final take,

but I was mostly just curious to see what people—you know, the types who go out all the time—might think about someone like me. I wondered if they had any opinions, whether they thought it was good or bad, or whatever.

Michelle Alvarez8 said:Using the word "catch up" makes it sound like I'm running away from this "partying and drinking" phase in the first place! Plus, that "certainty" you're talking about is just nonsense. I'm nearly 34—I've never found hitting the clubs and getting wasted particularly interesting. What am I supposed to do, go wild now? ☕

Rebecca Morales85 said:So, I’m 24 now, and I’ve realized that hitting the clubs just isn't my thing—it's honestly not for me. I can go out occasionally if the situation calls for it, but doing it every single weekend? That feels more like a chore than fun. I don't really see the point in drinking every time we head out, and the smoke is usually unbearable for non-smokers—not to mention how exhausting the small talk can be. These days, I much prefer catching up with close friends where we can actually have a real conversation—sharing advice when things get heavy, or just laughing together. It feels like quality people are hard to come by lately; most everyone seems focused on themselves and avoids anything meaningful, which I suppose is part of why I tend to keep to myself... Anyway, it’s good to know there are others out there like me. Long live this forum! 😍

Sophia Perez5 said:👍

And just imagine what it is like for me, navigating through this sea of teenagers. I truly find it difficult to comprehend how such a staggering amount of sheer stupidity can be concentrated in a single place. 🤣

Scott Rodriguez7 said:I honestly think when you're at your age, it’s pretty tough to tell if you’re just going through a phase or if you’re actually an introvert at heart.
Of course, everyone tells you to just live your life however you want—even if that means staying cooped up in your room with a good book. But I get why it feels a bit tricky; your friends and people your age expect you to hang out with them every once in a while. And let's be real, most young people just want to fit in and feel accepted by the group, especially during those teenage years.
If it matters to you to meet your friends' expectations every now and then, maybe try heading out sometimes and just having fun.
After that, you can weigh what’s more important to you: constantly enjoying your solo downtime, or occasionally venturing out if you feel up to it.

swiftcanyon12 said:I’m thirty now, and honestly, I’ve never been much of a party person; sure, I went out during high school and college, but it was never a weekly thing—I just never entered that "living life to the fullest" phase everyone talks about.
A friend recently tried to tell me that we didn't live it up enough in our twenties and that we’re going to regret it later, but personally? Not gonna happen. I’ve never had any interest in crowded, noisy clubs where you can't even hold a conversation, let alone dance—mostly because they don't even play the kind of music I actually enjoy anymore. So what am I supposed to do? Stand there for four or five hours listening to stuff I hate while dodging drunk idiots stumbling through the crowd? Why? Just so people can say, "Oh, she’s normal"? I’d much rather do things that actually satisfy me—reading a book, catching a movie, hitting up a theater, or just grabbing coffee at a quiet cafe. If I have one regret, it’s that I didn't travel more in my twenties, but I'm making up for it now—to me, *that* is living; it's when you actually feel a sense of fulfillment in what you're doing. And one more thing that drives me crazy—I hear it all the time, this idea that you *have* to go out just to meet someone. Okay, look, obviously you aren't going to find a partner if you never leave your house, but I have never met anyone out in the wild that I actually wanted to pursue; it’s always been the everyday, mundane situations. So, to the OP, I just want to say—if you want to go out, go! If you don't, then don't!

Matthew Wilson50 said:I was just wondering what you all think about being antisocial—you know, people who just don't enjoy hanging out with others or going out on the town;

I’m 16 and a half now, and I’ve honestly never gone out to a club or even just grabbed a drink with friends. People still invite me whenever they go out, but I always turn them down. I guess I just don't find it appealing. I'm not really into smoking or drinking, and I don't particularly care for socializing like that. My parents give me a hard time sometimes, asking why I never want to go anywhere, lol, but I just don't feel comfortable in those settings. I can't really be myself there. I'd much rather stay home and watch a movie or something else.

So, is this normal? What’s your take on people like me? I know a lot of people don't really get why I am the way I am.

ps sorry if this is in the wrong section, I'm not quite sure where to post this.

Michael Moore45 said:One thing is absolutely certain—this whole phase of going out and drinking too much is eventually going to catch up with you.
My honest advice? Just get through it as quickly as possible and live it all out now.
I went through my own version of this when I was sixteen and seventeen, and honestly, I’m totally over it now. It’s a huge contrast to one of my girlfriends, for instance; back then, she used to constantly lecture me about it, saying things like, "Oh, don't drink too much," or "Are you feeling okay?" Well, she's twenty now, and instead of actually focusing on her college classes or anything meaningful in life, she's still just obsessing over where the next party is, how much she can drink, and which guy she can hook up with.

In my opinion, it’s probably better to just burn through that energy early on, but hey, if you aren't really feeling it right now, I guess there's not much else I can say, right? 😁
That phase will come for you eventually, and when it does, it'll come. By the way, you're perfectly normal, so don't even worry about it. 🤣

Dennis Bailey2 said:My take? This whole idea of being "social" isn't actually normal.

Let me clarify my point. I’ve been there myself.

In the way our society defines "socializing"—especially during those formative years between 16 and 20—I never saw any logic in it. None. Just mindless drinking, puking, dragging yourself through clubs with deafening music that makes conversation impossible, smoking, weed, drugs. You can't even string a coherent sentence together. If you're lucky, you might manage a hug. Then you wake up at noon with a splitting headache. It’s not fun. It’s boring.

I didn't go through that phase at 16. I forced myself to try it at 24. It was indescribably stupid and even less enjoyable. It felt even more pathetic when it coincided with "hooking up," where you wake up the next morning trying to piece together what you even did after that twelfth beer. Pathetic.

I believe this entire phase is a byproduct of spiritual poverty. It stems from an inability to spend time on actual, quality entertainment—traveling, road trips, hitting the coast, heading to the mountains, visiting different cities... and a total lack of creativity to make those things happen.

Think about what actually interests you and fulfills you. You don't need to get wasted just to have a social life, nor do you have to be a hermit to maintain your integrity. Find an activity that resonates—art, sports, science, hiking, scouting, whatever—or join a volunteer organization focused on a cause you care about. That's how you connect with people who share your mindset in a creative, meaningful way.