Am I losing my mind?

So, lately, I’ve just been feeling this growing sense of helplessness... like I can't really get a grip on things, even when it comes to stuff that should be totally minor. For instance, I'll be walking down the street and I get this overwhelming feeling that everyone is staring at me, just judging and whispering under their breath. Or the other day, there was some kind of emergency in the apartment building next door—police, fire department, they were literally breaking down doors. I felt this massive wave of anxiety, and part of me just desperately wanted to go see what was happening, you know? I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, wondering what's going on in that unit, because it feels like every single week there's a siren or some kind of crisis outside my window.😲 On top of everything, my closest friend fell into a coma and, sadly, passed away right around Christmas. She had been mixing all sorts of pills with beer, and it just... well, it ended that way.😢 Now, I find myself terrified that something similar might happen to me. I've started having these recurring thoughts that life isn't worth the struggle, like I'm just stuck in this dark, heavy world. I'm taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but honestly, they don't seem to be doing much of anything. I'd really appreciate any honest advice you guys might have.

Whether you’ve got a bike or some skates, just look out the window. If the weather sucks, save the whining for another day.

boldjackal10 said:Whether you’ve got a bike or some skates, just look out the window. If the weather sucks, save the whining for another day.

I get it, really. It’s gorgeous out there—birds chirping, everything's coming alive... kind of like that line from the song, you know? "Spring is all around me, but inside I'm stuck in winter and darkness."🙂

Depression and panic attacks.

Welcome to the club, I guess.

wiredmason56 said:So, lately, I’ve just been feeling this growing sense of helplessness... like I can't really get a grip on things, even when it comes to stuff that should be totally minor. For instance, I'll be walking down the street and I get this overwhelming feeling that everyone is staring at me, just judging and whispering under their breath. Or the other day, there was some kind of emergency in the apartment building next door—police, fire department, they were literally breaking down doors. I felt this massive wave of anxiety, and part of me just desperately wanted to go see what was happening, you know? I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, wondering what's going on in that unit, because it feels like every single week there's a siren or some kind of crisis outside my window.😲 On top of everything, my closest friend fell into a coma and, sadly, passed away right around Christmas. She had been mixing all sorts of pills with beer, and it just... well, it ended that way.😢 Now, I find myself terrified that something similar might happen to me. I've started having these recurring thoughts that life isn't worth the struggle, like I'm just stuck in this dark, heavy world. I'm taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but honestly, they don't seem to be doing much of anything. I'd really appreciate any honest advice you guys might have.

How long have you been on them? And does your doctor know you're still struggling?

EDIT: Did a doctor actually prescribe these, or are you self-medicating? I ask because I saw a post where you mentioned wanting to try Carbamazepine based on its effects... that makes me wonder if this is a supervised treatment plan...

low self-esteem
the more time you spend out in nature, the more "feel-good anthems" you'll find
though I suppose some people just gravitate toward those heavy, depressing tracks instead
just cut back on the screen time and life might actually start looking up..................

Joshua Richardson4 said:Depression and panic attacks.

Welcome to the club, I guess.

Thanks😁

Michelle Evans said:How long have you been on them? And does your doctor know you're still struggling?

EDIT: Did a doctor actually prescribe these, or are you self-medicating? I ask because I saw a post where you mentioned wanting to try Carbamazepine based on its effects... that makes me wonder if this is a supervised treatment plan...

I’ve been on Effexor for about a month and a half now, though I haven't been super consistent with it, which I know isn't ideal. Before this, I tried some generic skin treatments, but they didn't really do much for me. And way back, I was on Prozac, but that just made me feel totally hyperactive—kind of like having way too much caffeine running through my veins. I have a follow-up appointment coming up soon, so I’m planning to chat with my therapist about maybe adding Carbamazepine alongside this new antidepressant. What kind of meds are you taking, if you don't mind me asking?

wiredmason56 said:I’ve been on Effexor for about a month and a half now, though I haven't been super consistent with it, which I know isn't ideal. Before this, I tried some generic skin treatments, but they didn't really do much for me. And way back, I was on Prozac, but that just made me feel totally hyperactive—kind of like having way too much caffeine running through my veins. I have a follow-up appointment coming up soon, so I’m planning to chat with my therapist about maybe adding Carbamazepine alongside this new antidepressant. What kind of meds are you taking, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't take anything.

My apologies for implying those medications weren't prescribed to you... my mistake. :mea culpa:

If I could suggest something, please head to your follow-up as soon as possible to discuss adjusting your treatment with your doctor. You might find it helpful to check out the psychopharmacology thread to read about other people's experiences with different meds...

Once your treatment starts working, getting out, moving around the city, and tackling everything others have advised will feel much more manageable. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right fit, and staying consistent is key to seeing progress...

P.S. That fear of losing your mind or losing control is something many people dealing with anxiety face...

Michelle Evans said:I don't take anything.

My apologies for implying those medications weren't prescribed to you... my mistake. :mea culpa:

If I could suggest something, please head to your follow-up as soon as possible to discuss adjusting your treatment with your doctor. You might find it helpful to check out the psychopharmacology thread to read about other people's experiences with different meds...

Once your treatment starts working, getting out, moving around the city, and tackling everything others have advised will feel much more manageable. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right fit, and staying consistent is key to seeing progress...

P.S. That fear of losing your mind or losing control is something many people dealing with anxiety face...

Apology accepted. Honestly, I’m just counting down the days until I can sit down with my therapist, talk through all this stuff that's weighing on me, and finally feel this depression and anxiety lift.

wiredmason56 said:So, lately, I’ve just been feeling this growing sense of helplessness... like I can't really get a grip on things, even when it comes to stuff that should be totally minor. For instance, I'll be walking down the street and I get this overwhelming feeling that everyone is staring at me, just judging and whispering under their breath. Or the other day, there was some kind of emergency in the apartment building next door—police, fire department, they were literally breaking down doors. I felt this massive wave of anxiety, and part of me just desperately wanted to go see what was happening, you know? I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, wondering what's going on in that unit, because it feels like every single week there's a siren or some kind of crisis outside my window.😲 On top of everything, my closest friend fell into a coma and, sadly, passed away right around Christmas. She had been mixing all sorts of pills with beer, and it just... well, it ended that way.😢 Now, I find myself terrified that something similar might happen to me. I've started having these recurring thoughts that life isn't worth the struggle, like I'm just stuck in this dark, heavy world. I'm taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but honestly, they don't seem to be doing much of anything. I'd really appreciate any honest advice you guys might have.

Just hang in there until the medication kicks in... but you definitely need to tell your doctor exactly how you're feeling right now... plenty of people here have been in your shoes or are dealing with the exact same thing...

Honestly, I think I’d welcome a little madness... if you really want my take—this whole world feels like it’s already lost its mind anyway. If you finally snap, maybe that’s the only way to actually find some sense of normalcy again. Good luck out there.

If you’re dealing with anxiety—or even if things feel a bit paranoid (and I don't mean actual schizophrenia, just that heightened state of suspicion)
you need to start looking inward. It’s about slowly building up an internal world that actually feels comfortable to you.
Cut out anyone who drains your energy or messes with your head. And the drinking? You already know deep down that it isn't solving anything.
I don't know if you smoke weed, but if you do—just quit that crap.
Try listening to upbeat music, finding some peace in nature, maybe going for a bike ride.
When the panic starts to set in, stop yourself from diving into whatever triggers that dread in the first place.
I don't know if you spend all day staring at the TV—especially that mindless scrolling through junk news—but that garbage only feeds your fears.
The whole point is to find some semblance of inner strength, a solid foundation to keep you steady when things get rough.

You aren't just some leaf blowing aimlessly in the wind; you have a hell of a lot more power within you than you realize.

I truly hope you recover and find a way to be even a little bit happier.

shadowhawk322 said:If you’re dealing with anxiety—or even if things feel a bit paranoid (and I don't mean actual schizophrenia, just that heightened state of suspicion)
you need to start looking inward. It’s about slowly building up an internal world that actually feels comfortable to you.
Cut out anyone who drains your energy or messes with your head. And the drinking? You already know deep down that it isn't solving anything.
I don't know if you smoke weed, but if you do—just quit that crap.
Try listening to upbeat music, finding some peace in nature, maybe going for a bike ride.
When the panic starts to set in, stop yourself from diving into whatever triggers that dread in the first place.
I don't know if you spend all day staring at the TV—especially that mindless scrolling through junk news—but that garbage only feeds your fears.
The whole point is to find some semblance of inner strength, a solid foundation to keep you steady when things get rough.

You aren't just some leaf blowing aimlessly in the wind; you have a hell of a lot more power within you than you realize.

I truly hope you recover and find a way to be even a little bit happier.

Thanks for the kind words. I'm definitely going to try my best to work on myself every single day. Right now, I'm stuck in this pretty rough relationship—it’s one of those things where it’s just as good as it is bad, if that makes sense? But I'll be sorting that out soon enough.

Wishing you nothing but the best with everything too.🙂

Chris Evans said:Honestly, I think I’d welcome a little madness... if you really want my take—this whole world feels like it’s already lost its mind anyway. If you finally snap, maybe that’s the only way to actually find some sense of normalcy again. Good luck out there.

I'm right there with you. Since everything feels pretty chaotic anyway, I catch myself thinking sometimes that just losing my mind might be easier. At least then, nothing would get under my skin anymore... nothing would even hurt. Everything around here is just too much.☕

fadedbear92 said:Just hang in there until the medication kicks in... but you definitely need to tell your doctor exactly how you're feeling right now... plenty of people here have been in your shoes or are dealing with the exact same thing...

Of course I'm going to tell them everything about how my heart is acting, because honestly? I feel terrible. I just hope they don't throw some new crazy medication at me... I mean, I really don't care what it takes, I'd do just about anything if it meant finally feeling better.🙂

I haven't seen any posts from dorina.maja yet—waiting for them to weigh in! kaže:
Of course I’m telling him everything—mostly because I feel like absolute garbage right now. I just hope he doesn't start spouting some new nonsense at me. Honestly? I wouldn't care if I had to eat dirt just to feel even remotely okay again.🙂

Look, those "F stickers" don't mean a thing—all that matters is that you're leveling up, regardless of how you get there. Who cares about the label? Good luck!😉